" Shake, Rattle and Roll ... "

I get over the hill and way down underneath
I get over the hill and way down underneath
You make me roll my eyes, even make me grit my teeth
I said shake, rattle and roll, shake, rattle and roll
Shake, rattle and roll, shake, rattle and roll
Well, you won't do nothin' to save your doggone soul
Shake, rattle and roll!

~ Bill Haley ~ Shake, Rattle and Roll ~

***

Last week was a challenging one ... I had another diagnostic test followed with routine labwork done ... and then a review my results with my family doctor.  The good news my lump is smaller by 35% and my lab work is great.  Yet my doctor had an associate in the room and both expressed their “concern”.  Without getting into details, I received pressure to follow the aggressive treatment plan presented here a year ago.  They basically don’t believe in my treatment, it’s been over a year, and I think they feel that it is taking to long and time is of the essence.  

So I heard the same words and got the same looks.  

And it shook and rattle me to my core, AGAIN.

I thought I was stronger than this ... so it has brought up loads of negative emotions.  Enormous fear and intense sadness followed.  I told Russell I haven’t felt like this since my diagnosis back in February of last year.  And then anger ... how could I let this affect me, I thought I was stronger than this ... and then exhaustion.  I am tired.  Tired of the looks that I am crazy, tired of the pity, tired of the disbelief, tired of the lack of recognition that I truly am in a treatment ... once again, I felt like I had to justify my position by flying my Gerson flag.

And if I am being completely honest, I had expectations walking into the docs office.  I was expecting my doctors to be elated.  I was expecting a pat on the back.  “Good Job girl!”  So I was ill-prepared to deal with the reaction.  And it fed my fears.  You know that little voice inside of us, that little voice of doubt ... it got louder and louder and I started asking myself, am I doing the right thing?  am I crazy? am I off the mark here? am I going to die?

Thankfully I have amazing family and friends in my life ... guiding me as I lose my way.  And I sure did lose my way.  

So where am I today ... well, I am still on the Gerson Therapy - Month 15.  And I realize that I was looking for confirmation from places I won’t get it ... I need to continue to align myself with a medical team that takes the time to understand my treatment and then guide me on my current journey.  My Gerson doctors continue to be fully onboard ... monitoring and adjusting my treatment based on my results.  

I thought it was interesting that I had to re-read some of my blog entries just to get through some very troubling moments this past week ... and I recognize that I will have to continue to deal with the eternal conflict between my head filled with fear and my heart filled with love.  

The greatest mistake you can make in life 

... is to be continually fearing you will make one 

~ Elbert Hubbard

" Modify ... "

Can't stop thinking

That's all that matters 

Eventually

Can't stop feeling 

And re-arranging

That's all i'm thinking

In the end

Modify as i levitate

You can open the latch

But you'll never give in

All you really need

All you really want

Anything you want to

Your secrets safe with me

~ Collide ~ Modify ~

***

Some of you may be aware of all the discussions surrounding genetically modified organisms or GMOS.  And with the list of genetically modified food ingredients growing at an alarming rate, why all the talk?

First:  it is important to understand what are GMOs ....

GMOs are genetically engineered.  They are an organism whose genetic material has been altered using genetic engineering techniques.  These techniques use DNA molecules from different sources, which are combined into one molecule to create a new set of genes.  This DNA is then transferred into an organism, giving it modified genes.  Basically the genes of one organism have been "cut out" and then "pasted" into another organism. 

Second:  it is important to understand why GMOs exist ...

Contrary to what Big Agra companies state, genetically engineered plants exist due to greed.  Yet they will tell you how GMO foods are perfectly safe with benefits such as lower cost crops, more productive farms, resulting in healthier foods.  For further information research Monsanto technology fees for usage of their GMO seeds. 

Third: why should we be concerned about GMOs in our food supply ...

Genetically engineered plants have had either genes from bacteria or viruses, or genes that make plants resistant to toxic chemicals like the herbicide Roundup, spliced into their DNA.  These genes were never part of the human diet until the first GMO plant was created in 1996.  As well, to date, there have been no long-term human safety studies conducted on GMOs.  Therefore, without any scientific evidence to prove that they are safe, it defies common sense to compromise our health.

It is estimated that as much as 70% of our processed foods on grocery store shelves are “modified”, largely due to the main ingredient, soy.  Half of North America's soy crop is genetically engineered. Sadly, "Health Canada would require labelling of GM food products if there was a clear, scientifically established, health risk or significant nutritional change, which could be mitigated through labelling.  To date, "Health Canada has not identified health risks associated with GM foods that have been approved for sale in Canada" ... therefore, "voluntary labelling and advertising of foods that are and are not products of genetic engineering was developed to address non-healthy and safety labelling".

I am an advocate for organic foods, as my medicine is my food and my pharmacy is FARM-acy.  I believe we all have a right know what we are putting in their mouths and any labelling would at least provide us with information so we can make our own decisions about what we are eating.  

In the meantime, Greenpeace Canada provides us a valuable shopper’s list of GMO-free foods.  Do your own research and make the best choice for your best health.

" From This Moment ... "

From this moment as long as I live

I will love you, I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love

And you're the answer to my prayers from up above

All we need is just the two of us

My dreams came true because of you

~ Shaina Twain ~ From This Moment ~

***

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." 

~ Henry Van

Great quote and I only realized how each moment takes on a different dimension after being confronted with something like cancer.  When you are diagnosed with the disease and embark on a roller coaster of emotions, from anger to disbelief, you have the almost-stopped and dream like quality of time.

Living in the here and now ... the present.  Shifts you to live in the minute, moment by moment.  Since too much of our effort goes into wishing what was, or what is to be, we don't take the opportunity to live in the moment, whether it is good or bad. After all, time will never go faster or slower. It's only our perception of time that changes.

My current journey with breast cancer is primarily managed with a positive outlook on life.  Deep in my core, I always believed I would beat it ... with the odd doubt creeping in, I knew that this would not be the end of me.  And although not all my moments are nice ones, I realize that in those dark times and sad episodes, there has been opportunities.  There's the opportunity to really search inside my heart, mind and soul and sort through why this has happened ... leading to quite a personal transformation.  There's also the opportunity to make room for my loved ones and real friends ... enabling us to deepen our bond, cherish what we have, laugh, and rejoice.  

And then there's the most important opportunity of all. The realization that I can choose to appreciate every moment I have.  In between all that time I once wished away can be found so many small joys. There are little packages of happiness tucked away in all those little places that I wouldn’t have noticed if I was too intent on making my hurried way. And the realization of this is the gift that I, along with many other cancer survivors, share with you.  

There is a cliche saying “live life to the fullest.”  I’ve probably referred to this many times on this blog.  And although this saying is nice to state, it actually implies a deficiency in your life in the here and now.  How so?  Well we get caught up in what our lives could be or how much better our lives could be if only ... but my truth is living and knowing that my life is interesting just as it is right now.  

I often think If I were to view my life as a movie, I would be amazed of my internal struggles, my daily routines, my powerful potential, my interactions with others, my surroundings and my amazing growth.  My life is richer, I am stronger & I LOVE my life.

So celebrate these wonderful moments because every one of them is LIFE.  And as challenging as it may be, consciously choose to slow down, take in and appreciate them ... as we never know when it will be our last.

" Sweet Inspirations ... "

I need your sweet, sweet inspiration

I need you here on my mind every hour of the day
Without your sweet, sweet inspiration
The lonely hours of the day just don’t go my way
Inspiration, yeah, oh what a power
And I got the power every hour of the day
I need your sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet inspiration, yeah
To go on living, to keep on giving this way

~ The Temptations ~ Sweet Inspirations ~ 

***

I am humbled when I hear that I inspire others.  Being able to positively affect just one person is such a rewarding experience.  I truly desire to inspire the people around me by focusing on some fundamental principles of character and make them a part of my daily life.  

The beauty is that we all have the ability to positively impact the lives of others.  We can start by the way we carry ourselves and interact with others.  This directly impacts how much inspiration is drawn from being around us and is irrelevant to your place of employment, your salary or the way you look.

You see, it is a mistake to try and change others; real change can only come from within.  When we seek to ‘change’ others we are only met with frustration. However, we can inspire others if we lead by example ... 

Practice Sincerity ~ Sincerity means we act with honesty and integrity.  We can unmistakeably notice the difference between a sincere person and an insincere person.  An insincere person is driven by the winds of social attitudes.  A sincere person has faith in their actions  

Practice Encouragement ~ Encouragement is the best way to inspire others to do the right thing and become the right person.  Encouragement is infinitely more powerful than denigration.

Practice Humility ~ To act without expectation of reward.  To speak without trying to impress others. To be humble and able to follow our self.

Practice Happiness ~ Happiness is infectious because it is something we all aspire for.  We are inspired by those who brush aside difficulties and retain a cheerful attitude to the world.

Practice Detachment ~  Detachment means we are concerned and thoughtful, but not demanding.  We do not expect other people to behave in a certain way, instead we give others freedom to make their own choices.  All we can do is support and inspire others to do the right thing without being attached to the result. 

Practice Kindness ~ Acting with kindness is the easiest and smallest of acts ... it makes a world of difference, and people are inclined to follow our lead.

Practice Selflessness ~  To be selfless means putting other people first.  When we give of our self, we encourage others to do the same. We don’t want to emulate selfish people, but people with selfless motives.

Most of us will rise to the expectations of the people who believe in us.  And one of the best ways to help each other live meaningful, significant lives, is to set an example by living that kind of a life yourself. 

" Under Pressure ... "

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

Can't we give ourselves one more chance?

Why can't we give love that one more chance?

Why can't we give love, give love, give love..?

'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word

and love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night

And love dares you to change our way of

Caring about ourselves

This is our last dance, this is ourselves

Under pressure, Under pressure

~ Queen ~ Under Pressure ~

***

Stress.  We all know it.  But when people say that stress can kill you are they exaggerating?  I don’t think so.  Stress kills people every single day.  And sure you don’t seem them dropping like flies from it because it takes a long time for it to really do some damage to you.  But the cornoner’s report rarely list “stress” as the cause of death.  This is because stress itself doesn’t kill you ... stress leads to a wide range of other health problems that will.

Think about it ... you are living a otherwise positive and happy life and suddenly you develop unexplained symptoms.  Your quality of life diminishes ... good chance they are related to stress.  But what is “stress” exactly.  

Stress is an explaination of a series of negative effects and emotions ... such as anxiety, worry, fatigue, laziness, agitation, concentration problems, mood swings, lack of motivation, insomnia, depression, isolation, anger, depression, paranoia, and possibly suicidal.

Yet the greatest damage is to our immune system.  Research has shown that stressing over a long period of time raises our cortisol levels.  Corisol is a hormone that the body produces and one which naturally suppresses the immune system.  There is a lot of research regarding the immunosuppression and it's correlation with different types of diseases. An immunosuppressed person is more likely to catch the common cold and flu, as well as more likely to get serious life-threatening diseases.  

I recently read the following 5 steps, which I try to adapt ... 

EXPECT IT ~ Be prepared by taking good care of yourself; you never know what the day will bring.  Life is an adventure so approach it as such.  Be your own cheerleader.  Spend time with God everyday, be confident in what you believe, and draw strength from it.

EMBRACE IT ~ Get a new attitude towards life ... a determined stance to ride the waves of life and succeed through the storms. I decided long ago I would not live a life of regret. Now, as I get ready for the day, I say a prayer for strength to face with confidence what comes my way, and the courage to get help and support when overwhelmed. 

EVALUATE IT ~ Be honest and real about what pressures occupy your thoughts, consume your energy or cause you grief.  Are you exaggerating the importance of a stressor: will it really matter one year from now, or five years from now?

ENGAGE IT ~ It’s time to take action.  If you can change it, do it now.  Procrastination is one of your worst enemies, stealing precious moments of your life. 

EMERGE FROM IT ~ Process the pressure and pain to get through it, and emerge successful and free. This requires effort, whether it is to brush off the stress of the day, or to push through the weight of a significant loss.   

Face the strong currents of life with a defiant attitude and intention to achieve your goals, regardless of your circumstances.  Decide that life is worth living ... we all have a purpose, and we will succeed if we manage the stress in our life in a healthy manner. 

" Help ... "

Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone, help

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

~ The Beatles ~ Help ~

***

This blog is a collection of thoughts, experiences and emotions about my natural, wholistic journey beating cancer.  I am not a physician, nor legally able to tell you how to cure yourself of cancer.  What I choose to share is what works for me, so please take it for what it’s worth.

Today’s post stems from a conversation this past weekend with a friend.  A friend that is facing the possibility of an “official” diagnosis.  I felt like I was looking in the mirror, understanding the flooding of emotions that are all too consuming.  

For her and others facing cancer, here what I suggest ...

Tip #1: Let go of your prognosis.  Being given an expiry date is damaging on all levels ... emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I believe expert practitioners should be prohibited from delivering death statements.  People all over the world have cured themselves of cancer ... you have the option to believe and it is critical to your survival you do so.

Tip #2: Maximize your nutrition.  You are what you digest.  Currently, I am vegan, meaning my diet is plant-based and I have cut out all meat, poultry, seafood, eggs, and dairy.   Studies have shown that a diet high in animal products and dairy, which is full of hormones and saturated fat, can cause cancer ... while organic, vegan diets can help prevent and even reverse it.  

According to The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, "People consuming a low-fat vegetarian diet tend to have higher levels of natural killer cells, which appear to make the immune system more effective in destroying tumors."

Tip #3: Invest in a quality juicer.  Digesting food, even healthy food, can be taxing to the body.  Juicing and proper food combinations minimize the load on the body, easily allowing it to assimilate nutrients and spend its energy on healing.  

Tip #4: Coffee Enemas.  As unpleasant as this may sound, coffee enemas are a necessity for the very ill because the liver may be too weak to rid the body of toxins.  As tumors are broken up and absorbed by the body, they also create toxins. If I were carrying a heavy toxic load and my body could not eliminate the toxins, I would die due to a overburdened, toxic liver.  (My Gerson Therapy schedule, prescribed by a medical doctor, decides my frequenty and duration based on my illness and toxicity level.  Consult with a supporting physician whenever engaging in a new protocol).  

Tip #5: Seek a professional natural treatment.  Of course I am an advocate for the Gerson Therapy, yet there are many clinics in Mexico and Europe that are governed by medical doctors and use exceptional natural ways to treat and cure cancer.  My journey has allowed me to connect with many people who have successfully treated their illnesses.  Research these places and search one that you feel comfortable with.

Tip #6: Do what you love to do.  Cancer is a sign telling you that you are not doing what you love.  Loud and clear.  I started to modify my life by doing things that bring me joy and comfort.  Resulting in an abundance of blessings during a very difficult and challenging time.  View this sign as an opportunity to make the rest of your life, the best of your life.

" Angry ... "

So scream you, out from behind the bitter ache

Heavy on the memory, you need most

Still want love, ugly, smooth and delicate

Not without affection, not alone

And instead of wishing that it would get better

Man you're seeing that you just get angrier

And it's good that I'm not angry

I just need to get over

I'm not angry, anymore

~ Matchbox 20 ~ Angry ~

***

Is it okay to feel angry?  Yes, because anger is a useful emotion.  It gives us feedback that something has happened ... our boundaries have been crossed or we have been violated in some way.  When we feel anger, we are more likely to do something about it .... the trick is to step back from the anger and make a rational decision about what you are going to do.  Yeah, easier said than done right?

You see, when we are in a state of emotional arousal, we don’t necessarily make the best decisions.  Our reasoning conscious mind can let our subconscious mind take control ... and our fight/flight response kicks in.  Why?  Because our brains treat any threats in the same manner ... we feel rage or fear, regardless of the situation.

Anger is a craving or grasping of beliefs around ourselves.  It is a normal emotion that all human beings feel, like sorrow and happiness.  Think about it ... from a young age, we feel anger ... like a newborn turning red and crying with a little twisted face or a two year old throws a temper tantrum.  It is obvious that they are experiencing intense anger and that they have not yet learned to manage their anger.  Sadly, many adults have never learned to manage their anger either.  They may not behave in quite the same manner as the two year old, but still harmful to self.

So is it better to express or suppress these emotions?  Studies have shown that people who are shy and non-assertive, have a greater prevalence of tumours than other personality types ... because shyness is associated with suppressing of emotions, particularly negative ones, like anger, resentment and bitterness.  Holding onto these emotions can literally eat away at you.  Now that doesn’t mean that every shy person will develop cancer, but it is definitely something to consider. 

My opinion?  Express yourself ... constructively.  Because life is energy in play and the more free flowing the energy is the more vibrant you feel.  Pockets of energy which are suppressed, or “held”, within you become sources of resistance to the free flow of your life expression.  They tend to lose their power over you and their ability to cause harm.

Realization: Forgiving is not about ‘giving’ something to the person who has wronged you.  It is about ‘giving’ yourself the permission to release the burden of carrying those emotions.

Learning to channel your feelings into words or actions that are not hurtful, positive and healthy will unburden you .... because managing anger destructively is actually allowing your anger to manage you. 

" Courage ... "

Watch the band through a bunch of dancers.

Quickly, follow the unknown

With something more familiar.

Quickly, something familiar.

Courage, my word. It didn't come. It doesn't matter ... 

Simple explanation

For anything important any of us do.

And, yeah, the human tragedy

Consists in the necessity

Of living with the consequences.

Under pressure. Under pressure.

Courage, my word. It didn't come. It doesn't matter.

~ Tragically Hip ~ Courage ~

***

Feeling like it was time to re-fuel my soul, I've been watching Tony Robbins on Oprah’s Life class.  And it has helped me gain a new perspective around “living with courage”.  Living a fearless life really equates living with courage.  From the first moment when Tony walked on stage, he exposed the myth of living a fearless life. 

Tony said, "There's no such thing. Fear is a natural instinct that we are born with. Living fearlessly isn't necessarily accurate. You can't live a totally fearless life, because if you're never afraid, you can't be courageous. To have real courage, you have to be afraid of something."

Makes sense right?  And we may not realize that we are always stepping outside our comfort zones ... as we experience life changing events.  Change is inevitable.  So accepting fear instead of ignoring it is the first step as a reminder to embrace and accept that we are human. 

Now ever think of courage as a muscle?  Not me.  Yet  master life coach Tony Robbins says that “courage is a muscle that has to be strengthened”.  We can work this muscle as we set ourselves up for success by working at living a courageous life ... a constant work in progress ... a lifestyle that takes practice.

I realized that it is important for me to understand where the fear is coming from first instead of convincing myself that I am not afraid.  I need to face my fear head on.  That in itself is a scary thought ... afraid to face your fear.  But when you do, you can begin to understand where your story originates from.   Then you have have the ability to change it, if you have a strategy ... an individual approach to deal with your fear.

Thanks to Oprah & Tony, I have been re-affirmed to strengthen my courage muscle by continuing to work on my state of mind in my current journey with cancer ... not to just survive but to thrive by continue to take all that powerful fear energy and transform it, redirect it and focus on healing, nurturing, loving and living.

My Daily Mantra: Everything I want is on the other side of fear

" Protect Yourself ... "

I protect my imagination while I'm looking at my self

I don't follow the signs to the outskirts of my life

I protect my imagination behind those giant doors of steel

I'll drive to my visions on a Mainstreet of this life

Don't dream your life, live your own dream

'Cause that what you want, is what you feel

Do what you want, live up your life

it takes little time but you'll be surprised

Just take a chance, see what you get

feelings they don't know, which you ever had

~ Warchild ~ Protect Yourself ~

***

When we open our minds, we can be curious instead of judgemental.  When we open our hearts, we can be compassionate instead of cynical.  When we open our will, we can relax into the unknown instead of being fearful.  Yet, when we try to live our lives in this manner, we may not be prepared when others use our ability to feel and emotionally manipulate us.  I know this sounds a bit off but the reality is this happens, to all of us, and it is important to recognize it and learn to protect yourself.

The wonderful thing is that as human beings we are wired to feel empathy ... when someone displays an emotional reaction, our instincts are to incorporate the emotional reaction in forming opinions and decisions.  This seems natural.  Yet, we have all come into contact with someone who pays attention to our emotional reactions and uses it for manipulation.  

Emotional manipulation ... it is when someone uses their emotional react to control or dominate.  

This doesn’t mean you need to view everyone as emotional manipulators.  Just learn to recognize that some people have such an inflated concept of their own importance that they have no issues to do what it takes.   

It is important to recognize these emotional manipulators ... if someone is turning everything around on you, pretending to help, blatantly lying to you, taking you on a guilt trip, telling you that you’ll be worse off without them, always blaming others and draining all your positive energy.  Chalk it up to emotional immaturity ... either way, you do need to protect yourself.

How?  Protect yourself by confronting the other person who has ignored your initial feelings.  Protect yourself by not giving into unfair criticisms.  Protect yourself by journalling or blogging to validate yourself.  Protect yourself by not allowing someone to make you feel sorry for something which you should not feel sorry about.  

Massive life lesson here for me ... my feelings matter and it is not up to someone to validate them, it is up to me.

I continue to live my live with an open heart ... something I had to learn to do by trusting myself ... knowing what is right for me, standing by my truth, with no intention to hurt myself or others around me.  But I will admit there is one condition ... I have learned to protect myself without losing faith in humanity, by practicing kindness and compassion in hopes it will be reciprocated.

" What Happens Tomorrow ... "

You've got to believe 

it'll be alright in the end 

Fighting, because we're so close 

There are times we punish those who we need the most 

No, we can't wait for a saviour 

Only got ourselves to blame for this behaviour

And nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow 

~ Duran Duran ~ What Happens Tomorrow ~

***

How do you define motivation?  Is it what makes things happen?  Without it, is there any desire or drive to accomplish or create?  Once I understood what was moving me in one direction or holding me back in another, I started to understand my motivation triggers.  And started to make things happen.  For me, motivation affects everything I do and every choice I make. 

We usually can slot into one of the below motivation types ...

Achievement ... pursuing & attaining goals ... this kind can be combined with the drive to be good at something.  Achievement motivated people like work, responsibility and take pride in solving problems.  

Affiliation ... strong desire for love and acceptance ... there is a drive to relate to people on a social basis.  Having a support system is crucial.  Compliments, good attitude and cooperation are valued.

Security ... essentially a deep concern for the future.  The feeling that accumulating money and material possessions eases and shelters the pathway to the future.  Change and risk-taking is stressful.  Having steady work and dependable income is comfort.

Nuture ... need to give support, help, service and gifts to others with no strings attached.  Important factor is knowing you are lending comfort or a listening ear.  This is associated with the ability to empathize and respond to the needs of others.

Fear ... often imposed from an external source.  Creates worry and stress.  Internally, the feeling of need for change, due to pain and fear of remaining in a situation is often a catalyst for this type.

Power and Influence ... intensely driven to put in an extra effort to accomplish goals for this promise.  Competition with others is evident.  Influence, leadership, desire to control and responsibility for others are by-products of a power position.  Positively, results are achieved, negatively, power used for personal aggrandizement.

So what motivates you? Unlocking your motivation type(s) can help you understand your personal values ... what truly energies and excites you.  Once you know what these values are, then you can plan your goals around them.  If you are still unsure, study the some of the most successful people.  They understand what their values are and live their lives in accordance with them.  

You’d be surprised how many of us though, live our lives according to other people’s values. We end up devoting a large amount of time to things that genuinely don’t matter to us which results in those feelings of de-motivation & sluggishness. 

Some of my personal values are health, innovation, learning and insight, fun and adventure.  I make a concerted effort to ensure I am factoring in these values every day in some way.  I am careful not to confuse my values with ‘pleasurable activities’ ... values are not always about instant gratification – but they assist you to grow as a person in the long run.

“Never let the things that matter to you most be at the mercy of those that do not”

" Just A Test ... "

As time goes by in this give and take

As long as I learn I will make mistakes

Now, what do I want? What do I need? 

Why do I want it? What's in it for me? 

It's the imagery of technology

Is what you get is what you see

Don't worry your mind 

When you give it your best

One two one two this is just a test

One two one two, this is just a test

~ The Beastie Boys ~ Just A Test ~

***

Just when I think I got it handled, it sneaks up on me ... fear.  What was my trigger this time?  I had to book diagnostic and lab work tests for the end of the month.  Since I have done this many times before, it seems odd that I would still have anxiety surrounding a follow-up test.  But it is present and very real.

It was somewhat settling to know that a lot of people tend to develop some kind of phobia to test for cancer or even mention the word simply because of the ‘fear’ of being diagnosed with the disease.  Been there, done that ... now, I am trying to manage my fear during my treatment.  Not an easy task.  I realize that feeling anxious is common before routine check-ups.  Sleeping problems, poor appetite, mood swings and feeling more aches and pains are common in the lead-up to the appointment.  Personally, the initial experience with the radiologist brings back bad memories.  It makes me feel vulnerable.  It makes me feel out of control.  It makes me sad.

But so much as happened since that time.  I have been on the Gerson Therapy for 57 weeks now.  And when you know better, you do better .... I haven’t been sitting around hoping it would just go away.  I haven’t been in denial.  I have been managing my illness.  So now I have to manage my wild thoughts ... realize that not every little change is linked to the dis-ease ... continue to believe that I am healing my body.  It is a process I have to give myself the allowance to go through it.  Yet honestly, sometimes I wish I could just twitch my nose and perform a spell like Samantha on Bewitched ... *sigh ... this too shall pass ...

* Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health * Loving myself heals my life * I nourish my mind, body and soul * My body heals quickly and easily