" Selective Memory ... "

"If i lay my head down

I will see you in my dream

Wearing that polka dot dress

And sitting by the stream

Leaning in to hear you

You will whisper in my ear

And everything i need to know

I finally hear

I wish i could remember

But my selective memory

Won't let me"

~ Eels ~ Selective Memory ~

***

Recently, I was given some advice … I was told to be selective.  Selective in what I give my attention to, what I focus on and what I allow into my environment.  And that is easier said than done because we get swept away by others or even our own useless thoughts. 

So where to do you start … by asking about that thing you are giving attention to … how will it make you feel?  From my own experience, I have consumed information in the past without questioning not only whether it is true, but the source.  Hence, being selective can be a very, very good thing.

And being selective directly affects your perspective too.  How can it not?  We can be more selective of what we think about, how we think about it and whether or not it serves us.  It is not about being a snob either.  It is about self-care and self-love.  

It is about taking care of what you need.

Now, you may read this and feel this is unrealistic … sure, perhaps for some, yet again from my experience, every single relationship in my life has transformed … some strengthened, others faded .. but the most important one, with myself, is where I see miracles.

I decide what you read … I decide what you watch … I decide what you listen to … I decide what you talk to others about … I decide …

I am grateful for my life and now, I want the rest of my life to have some meaning, some purpose, some use.  And so, feeding my mind with toxic information is not an option.  I have let go of these things and people in my life.   

Being selective allows you to create your own version of reality … personally, I choose to create a more happier rest of my life ॐ

www.walkstrong.ca

" Protect Yourself ... "

I protect my imagination while I'm looking at my self

I don't follow the signs to the outskirts of my life

I protect my imagination behind those giant doors of steel

I'll drive to my visions on a Mainstreet of this life

Don't dream your life, live your own dream

'Cause that what you want, is what you feel

Do what you want, live up your life

it takes little time but you'll be surprised

Just take a chance, see what you get

feelings they don't know, which you ever had

~ Warchild ~ Protect Yourself ~

***

When we open our minds, we can be curious instead of judgemental.  When we open our hearts, we can be compassionate instead of cynical.  When we open our will, we can relax into the unknown instead of being fearful.  Yet, when we try to live our lives in this manner, we may not be prepared when others use our ability to feel and emotionally manipulate us.  I know this sounds a bit off but the reality is this happens, to all of us, and it is important to recognize it and learn to protect yourself.

The wonderful thing is that as human beings we are wired to feel empathy ... when someone displays an emotional reaction, our instincts are to incorporate the emotional reaction in forming opinions and decisions.  This seems natural.  Yet, we have all come into contact with someone who pays attention to our emotional reactions and uses it for manipulation.  

Emotional manipulation ... it is when someone uses their emotional react to control or dominate.  

This doesn’t mean you need to view everyone as emotional manipulators.  Just learn to recognize that some people have such an inflated concept of their own importance that they have no issues to do what it takes.   

It is important to recognize these emotional manipulators ... if someone is turning everything around on you, pretending to help, blatantly lying to you, taking you on a guilt trip, telling you that you’ll be worse off without them, always blaming others and draining all your positive energy.  Chalk it up to emotional immaturity ... either way, you do need to protect yourself.

How?  Protect yourself by confronting the other person who has ignored your initial feelings.  Protect yourself by not giving into unfair criticisms.  Protect yourself by journalling or blogging to validate yourself.  Protect yourself by not allowing someone to make you feel sorry for something which you should not feel sorry about.  

Massive life lesson here for me ... my feelings matter and it is not up to someone to validate them, it is up to me.

I continue to live my live with an open heart ... something I had to learn to do by trusting myself ... knowing what is right for me, standing by my truth, with no intention to hurt myself or others around me.  But I will admit there is one condition ... I have learned to protect myself without losing faith in humanity, by practicing kindness and compassion in hopes it will be reciprocated.