Tuesday, July 28, 2015

" Cosmic ... "

“ ... I put these things aside for years
'Til laughter took the place of tears
It's like I was asleep yet now I'm here
I'm here ... 

I put these things aside for years
'Til laughter took the place of tears
It's like I was asleep yet now I'm here
I'm here
I'm here (it's cosmic) ... “

~ Kylie Minogue ~ Cosmic ~

For those that believe in the concept of karma, believe that our loved ones appear in our life due to karmic debt.  At least that is the Buddhist view.

“At present, we are closely linked with our parents and our children.  We feel great affection for them and have incredible aspirations for them.  When they suffer, or anything undesirable happens to them, we are more upset than we would be if such things had happened to us personally.  All this is simply the repayment of debts for the harm we have done each other in past lives.”- Patrul Rinpoche

Imagine ... the person you love in this moment, may have been someone you loathed in a previous life.  And they may become your rival in the next life.  As my teacher explains to us, this is the cosmic joke.  The endless cycle of attachment and aversion that eventually causes suffering for everyone involved.  And if you aren’t sure, observe how children turn on their parents and how your greatest love can become your ex-partner.

Equanimity ... loving all sentient beings equally.  It is about boundless love, which has the power to heal and transform.  And you begin by consciously expressing your love to your special ones ... and spreading this outward to those in your life.  

A practice, with a sense of humour that helps to deal with life on life's terms.  Personally, I am finding that a sense of humour is essential.  It keeps me from taking myself too seriously.  It helps me realize it is a cosmic joke and not a serious affair.  When we get serious, we are praised, respected and honoured.  But are we having any fun?

A sense of humour seems to be far more sacred than some other practices.  It requires a presence of mind, and the ability to stay present.  When you laugh like like a child you are ego less.

And so the cosmic joke continues ... there seems to be nothing more valuable than laughter.  Laughter brings you to the earth.  Laughter bring you to reality as it is.  Life as it is should be enough of a reason to laugh ... ridiculous and beautiful, absurd and wonderful ... all sorts of things together ... a great cosmic joke.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

" Words ... "

“ ... Let's start a brand new story
Now my love, right now 
There'll be no other time 
And I can show you how, my love

Talk in everlasting words
And dedicate them all to me
And I will give you all my life
I'm here if you should call to me

You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say

It's only words, and words are all I have
To take your heart away ... “

~ Bee Gees ~ Words ~

By listening to and analyzing the words I use on a regular basis, I can learn to stop unconsciously programming myself to have limitations.  My own words tell a tale.  And listening to the words I say, explains a lot about what’s going on inside my head.  

Mindfulness practice helps me to gain the ability to pay attention to these words.  I am discovering that I often use self-limiting words before I even had a chance to think about them.  My subconscious chooses safe words that make unimportant things feel huge, and words that allow me wiggle room to procrastinate safely.  Simply put ... weak language is a subconscious attempt to avoid responsibility.

And I am called out on it, frequently, by my teacher.  Words that make me weak.  Words that make me sound like a victim.  Words that give me an easy way out to blame someone else when it all falls apart.

... clear speech means clear thinking.  And clear thinking means clear execution ... 

Need, Can’t, Try and Bad ... within these words tell you different than reality.  An unconscious box around solutions, limiting my creativity and failing to accomplish anything useful. Unaware of how I may be robbing myself of my power or destroying any hope for innovative thinking.  

... setting yourself up for learned helplessness ... 

I am learning that unconsciously our brains listen and because it cannot understand context, it creates confusion and subtle stress.  I am learning that using words that mean the same thing to my conscious brain and my unconscious brain, feels good.  

... words, actions and thoughts matter ... 

My ego took a good bruising last night when I got called out on the specific word, try.  Try seems to be a word that has two meanings.  Growing up, we were told to learn something, practice it and keep trying.  Seemingly a ‘normal’ way to encourage to do better.  Now, trying seems to presuppose a likelihood of failure, subconsciously planning to fail.  The advice ... don’t try, DO  

The language we use is a part of our software.  So using it consciously and with precision can allow us to achieve things that we didn’t know we could. We begin to shift that internal monologue, chatter, script to a more compassionate path.  We begin to believe we are capable.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

" Wandering ... "

On the eve of another birthday, my mind is wandering.  Wandering, wandering ... I never really thought I would get to the age of 46 ... not because I am a pessimist but because of being cancer-ed.  

Ah yes, for those who have had a similar experience, you don’t really forget.  All the memories of ‘that’ day, being diagnosed, can come rushing back at any moment, triggered by anything remotely to do with the dis-ease.  But rather than choosing this to be viewed as a weakness and being a ‘victim’ to the thought, I am opening to the insights offered.  

My most vivid ‘memory’, the one that did the most damage was my prognosis ... 5 years at best.  I have this attachment because I speak to it, still to this day.  And I write about it, as here present in these words.  Load on the intense programming, patterning and hypnosis of how, what, where, when and why an ill-ness is an ill-ness.  The triggers are present because my mind has been so deluded to the idea of being cancered.  

And so here we are ... on the eve of another birthday and 4.5 years being cancer-ed.  My mantra ... so far so good ... probably because it is a bit of a safety net, a precaution or a disclaimer.  With no claim to being “cured” because, I am not.  

So why back to the wandering mind ... well with an assigned dis-ease, you really are not sure what you will get.  AND cue insight ... that’s what life is all about.  Not really sure what what you will end up with right?  Whether it be an ill-ness you manage, a relationship you tolerate, a burden you carry, or a void within your heart ... pretty much anything can be your demise IF you allow it.  An ill-ness or dis-ease just has intense assumptions that go along with it.

In those moments of weakness, when I say aloud, I don’t know how much more of this I can take, I hear within, count your blessings, they will multiply.  But how?  Begin with breath.  Our sacred connection to the Divine.  And that is where my gratitude begins.  And so tomorrow at first light, I hope to graciously take my first breath, arms and heart wide open ... birth of a new day.

Blessings xx


Sunday, July 19, 2015

" Frequency ... "

“ ... Everything you know
Somebody else has taught and told you
Deep within yourself if you're
Yourself are you that person 

Like a coded frequency
The people will unfold you
Leave it up to everybody's hands
To shape and mold you 

I took some time
To stand on my own two feet

Frequency ... “

~ Tantric ~ Frequency ~

Spending time in the mountains, when you get out of the city, there is an energetic shift.  The shades of color, sounds, birds, insects, animals, running water ... has a soothing effect on the mind.  And not only because you get away from the intensity of the city, but because these sounds consist of vibrational frequency, which is measured in Hertz (Hz).  

... all of these natural harmonics vibrate at 432 Hz, 
it’s the natural frequency of the universe ... 

The benefits of being tuned into the correct vibration include healing our DNA, ailments and even getting healthier.  

... being in tune with this universal frequency 
is an integral part of us being part of nature ... 

432 Hz is the harmonic intonation of nature.  This vibration can make your body and the organic world which surrounds it, resonate in a natural way.  A sense of peace and wellbeing is available in those moments.  So as we open our ears we help our bodies release emotional blockages and expand consciousness.  432Hz allows you to tune into the knowledge of the universe around us in a more intuitive way.

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, 
think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” ~ Tesla

With our bodies made up of energy vibrating at different frequencies, frequencies affect frequencies.  And with these, our bodies are estimate to be about 70% water, experiments have shown how we alter our own vibrational state based on every expression through sound, emotion, or thought ... which influences everything around it, much like a drop of water creating a ripple effect.

It is believed that the 432 Hz vibrations with the Universe, unifies the properties of light, time, space, matter, gravity, magnetism, biology, DNA code and consciousness.  It is believed that our atoms and DNA start to resonate in harmony with the spiraling pattern of nature, resulting in our sense of connection to nature magnified. 

Friday, July 17, 2015

" It's Just A Thought ... "

“ ... It's just a thought
But I've noticed somethin' strange,
Gettin' harder to explain;
All the years are passin' bye and bye,
Still I don't know what makes it go;
Who said to wait and you'll see?

It's just a thought
But the word has come too late
That a bad idea will take
Just about a lifetime to explain,
And don't you see,
Good one's gonna be much longer;
Who's gonna wait, just to see? ... “

~ Creedence Clearwater Revival ~ It’s Just A Thought ~

Those moments when you move past the body, past the surface and you face the mirror of your own faults, your own limitations, your own darkness.  Your responsibilities, your choices ... everything in your life is all down to you.

How do we learn to deal with this revelation and how do we move through it.  We keep going, acknowledge it and own up.  And we tend to measure our strength by it.  Yet our minds will create doubts and escape thoughts when the mirror is reflected back.  Unless we shift from thinking to awareness.

Thinking is thought intensive while awareness is presence or simple attention in the moment.  Thinking is when our mind creates thoughts about the situation we are in.  Awareness is when our attention is focused on the situation simply observing with our senses.  We are aware thought what we see, hear, feel, smell and taste.  Thinking separates us from the immediacy of the situation as awareness gives us direct perception of the situation ... allowing us to perceive it more accurately.

... thought does not have an existence that is independent of awareness ... 

And so do we attempt to deny thinking?  Not possible.  Denying any form of thought is denying awareness itself.  To deny thought is to make an assumption that is not based on reality.  Awareness is empty and not a form or a thing.  IT has no qualities, no beginning and no end.  It is neither good or bad, right or wrong, here or there.  It is non dual.

... Your entire story, your body, and everything else that happens to "you" are merely objects appearing and disappearing in timeless, non conceptual awareness. 
The objects themselves are empty ... 

Awareness is awake right now, always, ready and present.  It is prior to anything you think about yourself.  The thought based, time bound story of you is fiction.  It is peaceful and still.  it is presence awareness.

And so if we take a moment to suspend thought in order to directly recognize awareness, we reveal who we are.  In that moment, we allow ourselves to fully arise ... and observe ... non conceptual awareness.

Through non conceptual awareness, we view the final seeing, pointing away from attachment to the intellect, form, thought. We realize that thoughts are not separate from awareness.  The distinction itself is a creation of thought.  

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

" Urges ... "

“ ... Urges, urges - he get these urges
Don't wanna talk about -
Heartfelt urges - he get these urges
He's not supposed to talk about ... 

In the footlight the ape in motion
Spins circles all across the floor -
Mouth the words, assume the positions
For a second we can fool them all

It's never been this way before ... “

~ Thomas Dolby ~ Urges ~

My practice is teaching me freedom is not what I thought it was.  Not freedom as defined in the West ... freedom to do what we want and not have to do what we don’t want.  Rather the practice teaches that freedom is freedom from desire and aversion.  Freedom from want, not freedom to do what we want.  And this view is what I continue to develop.

So how do you kill off cravings ... not a clue.  Yet through mindfulness training, I learn to accept the flow of experience just as it is, instead of resisting or grasping.  I change my relationship to the urge.  I observe.  I surf my urges.  

I begin by noticing what is happening within the body and the mind.  The sensation and emotion.  I notice the impulse and urge to do something to change the moment.  And I notice how both the sensations change and urges come and go.  Consciously aware of their changing nature, their ebb and flow, the impermanence.  And I repeat and repeat ...

As I practice this approach, I realize that I can begin to cope with what is happening in the present moment.  Reminding myself that we are stronger than we believe we are  and it is the fear of the future, not the present, that compels us.  Hence when I remain with my urges in the present moment, I experience and I remain with what is.  I don’t have to act or react, I can just be and accept.  Path of least resistance.

Watching the rise and fall, the coming and going of the urge to change the situation ... I become aware of my strength to resolve.  I watch the strength of the compulsion rise and then it falls away again.  And I don’t have to stop it and I don’t have to run away from it.  I let it pass.  Just notice it and go on with life.  Perhaps learning that I do not have to react to every urge ... that I can be non-reactive and I can surf my urges.

Monday, July 13, 2015

" Uplift ... "

" ... On one whole bottle "uplifting" 
There is no telling what I'll do 
Run head first into traffic 
with a mind set of annihilation 

No sense makes sense 
You can't get bought without thought 
No sense makes sense 
You can't get bought without thought inside of your head now ... "

~ Pantera ~ Uplift ~

Kundalini is a Sanskirt word meaning coiled.  It is used to modify the word Shakti, which means the spiritual power dwelling within every being.  This sacred inner presence is the Divine within, the sacred light and love and life that illumines each of us and guides us to union with One.  This inner Divine Guide is the very source of our manifest existence, and its constant striving is for our union with our true Self.

Kundalini Yoga is a type of yoga that uses specific pose sequences or kriyas, hand postures or mudras, mantras or sounds and meditations to elevate and uplift the practitioner.  It is a practice designed to awaken the Kundalini Energy, which is the creative and Divine power located within the body, coiled at the base of the spine.  The kriyas and meditations were created by the ancient Kundalini masters to raise the Kundalini energy to create harmony, balance, and bliss within the body, mind, and spirit. 

Kundalini Yoga originated in India thousands and thousands of years ago. The poses, meditations, and mantras were considered sacred and were passed down from teacher to student only once the student had proved themselves worthy to learn them.  In the Kundalini culture, Harbhajan Singh Khalsa also know as Yogi Bhajan is respected and loved for sharing the light and knowledge he had of Kundalini Yoga.

It is believed that to raise ones Kundalini increases consciousness and one-ness with the Divine.  And with the use of various breathing exercises carry life-giving energy into the body, reviving and renewing the body and mind at the cellular level.  Once the Kundalini has been awakened, individuals may feel a variety of experiences including sensations along the spinal cord, trembling, tingling sensations, waves of heat, bursts of joy and even transcendental visions. With some believing that activating the Kundalini energy begins the path toward Enlightenment.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

" How ... "

“ ... And I never thought about you much
Til I'm broken down and all alone, ohhh

Though I don't understand the meaning of love
I do not mind if I die trying, ohhh
Took it for granted when you lifted me up

I'm asking for your help
I am going through hell ... 

You cut out all the noise
And now that I can see mistakes so clearly now
But how?
How? ... “

~ Maroon 5 ~ How ~

How can we heal if we are living in the past?

Healing requires living in the present and taking one’s energy back from past traumas and hurts.  Because directing thought and energy to the past diverts vital life force from existing cells and organs that need that energy to function and heal.  

Simple yet not easy ... the reality is that not everyone wants to heal because healing is unattractive for some.  The fear of change, refusal to give up being a victim and once again, living in the past are all obstacles to our healing.  But why would we nurture the past .... to keep it alive because of the bitterness about what happened.  That story of how awful we were treated is a hook, a trigger, a crutch ... to use whenever we feel like a victim.  

Forgiveness ... releasing the control that the perception of victim hood has over our psyches.  It is about how we view life.  When we can begin to see a hurtful act as part of life process ... as a message or challenge instead of a personal betrayal, vital energy flows back into the physical body’s energetic field.  

My health care practitioner often speaks to me about the illusion of being a victim.  Too often I have held onto wounds and grief longer than is healthy.  And I recognize that these wounds and grief can be used as a means to manipulate and control others.  At times when I express a hurtful event, I am reminded how quickly I gravitate to the negative, how deep the patterning is to expect the worst and how easily I would give up my power.  The awareness allows the thought or belief causing suffering to ease up or even fade once the insight is revealed.

... whatever happened to sharing strength and love 
rather than leaving wounds behind ...

Living in the now, in the present means walking around without wound currency.  We all have it and some feel theirs is a bit more valuable than another.  Yet true healing requires change.  And from experience it is easier to claim not knowing what to do next, when in that exact moment you do know ... the courage to act.  

Healing demands actions that support the energy body.  And action requires living today.  No action, thought, or words can change your past ... yet the choice you make in this moment determines the next.  So choose to be here now, choose to heal.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

" Aura ... "

“ ... Aura-a-a-a Aura-a-a-a
Aura-a-a-a Aura-a-a-a
Aura-a-a-a Aura-a-a-a

Do you wanna see the girl who lives behind the aura
Behind the aura, behind the aura, behind the aura

It's not a statement as much as just a move of passion ... “

~ Lady Gaga ~ Aura ~ 

Emotion, beliefs, creativity, intuition and wisdom originate in a dynamic chaos of energy field ... the Aura.  This vital life energy that surrounds and permeates from each physical body.  And each energy field constantly interacts with the fields of other living beings and with stimuli in the environment ... everything that affects the body must first pass through this field ~ the basis of ancient Eastern Medicine.

Our energy body is a template for the physical body.  And emotional energy resonates with life experiences with belief systems literally encoding themselves within our cell tissues.  We use our life energy to promote fear or love and it manifests in our biology.  With prolonged weakness in the field we have physical symptoms leading to possible dis-ease.

The key is to address imbalances and blocks at the energy level of the body.  Natural health techniques such as pranayama breathing, qigong, tai chi, yoga, earthing, prayer, acupuncture, homeopathy, flower essences, deep muscles massages, reiki and meditation strengthen our fields.  These therapies can nudge an incoherent field of normalcy.

Medical intuitive read energetic patterns when trying to figure out patient conditions.  An example, Dr. Carolyn Myss diagnosis chronic fatigue syndrome as an energetic disorder of the first chakra and affects people who feel very vulnerable and insecure.  These people try to be all things to all people, and they connect to more people and projects than they have energy for ... and the immune system weakens.

 ... Cancer is considered to be energetic components of the past.  Unfinished business.  People with cancer are considered to be more connected to the past than to the present.  When energy is used to keep one's past alive instead of in the present where it is needed to maintain cell tissue, malignancy develops ... 

Consider this, wherever thought goes, energy and life flows.  So do we realize how much energy we spend on past injuries, regrets and losses.  Hence training, such as mindfulness,  helps to disconnect our energy circuits from people or objects that drain us.  

My practice is helping me to check in often and notice where my thoughts are.  Are they with me in the present or have they drifted to the past, the future or with some person or object?  Using learned techniques, the practice is showing me how to detach from the connection and literally call my spirit back.  And the realization every time is it is a practice, not a one shot deal.

“every choice that enhances our spirits strengthens our energy field; and the stronger our energy field, the fewer our connections to negative people and experiences” ~ Dr. Caroline Myss. 

I am learning that dwelling on resentment, guilt or burdensome thoughts harms my biological well-being.  There needs to be a release-ment of the negative use of my personal power otherwise energy dysfunction will continue and there is no room to heal.  

For some, having too much negativity in their field may not get them sick ... for others like me, cancer has signified the beginning of my spiritual journey.  As I continue to focus on what can be learned through this ill-ness or dis-ease, as a healing experience, I lighten my emotional body and support my soul journey.  Inevitably restoring my energetic field for the time I have here in this physical body.

... living with cancer has given me the chance 
to bring this entire human experience meaning ...  

The life long practice of letting go of negative emotions, whether they are directed towards others or self.  Love is the potent healing force for the body and spirit.  And only now am I beginning to recognize that positive and negative energies are real forces that affect my physiology immediately.  And that living with gratitude in a way that respects my spiritual integrity enlivens this loaned body where my soul resides, today.