" Always ... "

“ ... I've been here before a few times

And I'm quite aware we're dying

And your hands they shake with goodbyes

And I'll take you back if you'd have me 

So here I am I'm trying

So here I am are you ready ... 

So here I am I'm trying

So here I am are you ready

So here I am I'm trying

So here I am are you ready

Always

Always

  Always ...”

~ Blink 182 ~ Always ~

***

Give yourself permission to remove finite words from your vocabulary.  You know the one that you try to live up to but haven’t been able to.  The one that nags at you, tells you that you could have done better.  And that you gave up too soon.  You know the word ... always.

It is simply impossible to always.  You say you will always love, but something gets in the way. You say you will always be supportive, but something gets in the way.  You say you will always stay till the end, but something gets in the way.  Something ... life or you get in the way.  

So it isn’t al-ways.  Because if it was, commitment would be fulfilled in al-ways, in any-way.  And what are always and forever intrinsically worth?  Why is it inherently valuable?  It isn’t ... it is the moments and effort that make up forever that hold the value. 

We have learned that the concept of always and forever as merely a promise to do so is what is expected.  Yet our lives are filled with so much fear, pain, hurt, betrayal and lies.  We recognize in others the manipulation and deceit because we recognize it in ourselves.  And we realize that always and forever doesn’t exist.  Because conditions change and therefore the always and forever were actually based on those conditions.

Our words and intentions are put to the test when someone or something is not in alignment with what we want.  When our conditions are not met, we feel it personally.  And the years of always and forevers begin to hold less weight.  The response is usually to blame the other.  They are not the same, they have changed, they have ... yet if your always and forever were authentic, your resolve is un-waivered.

And so we begin to beat ourselves up because our always and forever isn’t so.  

We realize that our love is based on certain criteria.  

We realize that love is not for-ever, love is for NOW.  

www.walkstrong.ca

" Protect Yourself ... "

I protect my imagination while I'm looking at my self

I don't follow the signs to the outskirts of my life

I protect my imagination behind those giant doors of steel

I'll drive to my visions on a Mainstreet of this life

Don't dream your life, live your own dream

'Cause that what you want, is what you feel

Do what you want, live up your life

it takes little time but you'll be surprised

Just take a chance, see what you get

feelings they don't know, which you ever had

~ Warchild ~ Protect Yourself ~

***

When we open our minds, we can be curious instead of judgemental.  When we open our hearts, we can be compassionate instead of cynical.  When we open our will, we can relax into the unknown instead of being fearful.  Yet, when we try to live our lives in this manner, we may not be prepared when others use our ability to feel and emotionally manipulate us.  I know this sounds a bit off but the reality is this happens, to all of us, and it is important to recognize it and learn to protect yourself.

The wonderful thing is that as human beings we are wired to feel empathy ... when someone displays an emotional reaction, our instincts are to incorporate the emotional reaction in forming opinions and decisions.  This seems natural.  Yet, we have all come into contact with someone who pays attention to our emotional reactions and uses it for manipulation.  

Emotional manipulation ... it is when someone uses their emotional react to control or dominate.  

This doesn’t mean you need to view everyone as emotional manipulators.  Just learn to recognize that some people have such an inflated concept of their own importance that they have no issues to do what it takes.   

It is important to recognize these emotional manipulators ... if someone is turning everything around on you, pretending to help, blatantly lying to you, taking you on a guilt trip, telling you that you’ll be worse off without them, always blaming others and draining all your positive energy.  Chalk it up to emotional immaturity ... either way, you do need to protect yourself.

How?  Protect yourself by confronting the other person who has ignored your initial feelings.  Protect yourself by not giving into unfair criticisms.  Protect yourself by journalling or blogging to validate yourself.  Protect yourself by not allowing someone to make you feel sorry for something which you should not feel sorry about.  

Massive life lesson here for me ... my feelings matter and it is not up to someone to validate them, it is up to me.

I continue to live my live with an open heart ... something I had to learn to do by trusting myself ... knowing what is right for me, standing by my truth, with no intention to hurt myself or others around me.  But I will admit there is one condition ... I have learned to protect myself without losing faith in humanity, by practicing kindness and compassion in hopes it will be reciprocated.