" Don't Give Up ... "

Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are
Don't give up
You know it's never been easy
Don't give up
'Cause I believe there's a place
There's a place where we belong

~ Kate Bush ~ Don’t Give Up ~

***

Don’t let love pass you by.  Don’t let fear win.  

Don’t give up on love, give in.  Put love into action.

Great sentiments but what about when they hurt you?  Are you able to give another chance or do you cut them out of your life for good?  Whatever your answers are, you can’t lie to your heart.  People hurt us in our life in completely different ways.  Love is a very bumpy road where grudges have an opportunity to find a home.  

And it is sometimes easier to give up ...  

But, loving and being loved are what make our lives worth living.  Sadly, many people experience times in their lives when they close off their hearts.  But love is the energy of life.  This is what motivates us, every day, to keep going.  It gives us meaning and purpose ...

By reaching out and loving others, we can find true fulfillment.  Because what we focus on, grows.  Everyone in the world wants to be loved and accepted.  But this starts from within.  Believe that you are worthy enough, good enough for love.  I grew up believing that I would find that special someone, that prince charming ... the “right” guy.  And although I’m blessed with a pretty awesome guy, I realized that it was not about finding the right person.  It is about being the right person. 

So when we give up on love, do we give up on ourselves?  

Sometimes ... not able to make blanket statements about relationships, it really is about being okay with your decision to give up or give in.  You know what is right for you, but either way ... 

www.walkstrong.ca

" Shame ... "

My life is different now I swear

I know now what it means to care

About somebody other than myself ...

So if you could find it in your heart

To give a man a second start

I promise things won't end the same

Shame, boatloads of shame

Day after day, more of the same

Blame, please lift it off

Please take it off, please make it stop

~ The Avett Brothers ~ Shame ~

***

Shame ... more than an emotion like fear or grief, it registers in our hearts as a deeply painful feeling.  Most of us recognize it when we want to hide or disappear ... hang our heads, sag our shoulders and unable to look at anyone in the eyes.

So why talk about shame?  Well I only recently shared with a confidant that once I was diagnosed, I had moments of shame.  I felt embarrassed because in a world where we strive for our lives to be perfect, I failed.  I had imagined that I let my family down, I had let my friends down, I had let my work down ... and the worst, I had let myself down.  

To add insult to injury, I had recently become a certified personal trainer.  I was SUPPOSE to be a picture of perfect health, because NOW I was a professional in the field.  What a crock!  How could I face clients when I couldn’t walk the talk?  How could I expose my feelings of being somehow “less than” women who did not have breast cancer.  And then came the thoughts of being “marked” and “unlucky” and inferior because of this diagnosis.  I started to think that I had a big scarlet “C” on my forehead.  

Yet what I realized is that my feelings of shame were feelings of being worthless and unlovable instead.  So familiar.  You know the saying that “you have to love yourself before anyone can love you?”, well I secretly wondered how anyone could truly love me because most of my life, I struggled with loving myself.

I know I wasn’t alone ... at least in the feelings of shame.  Shame-bound people believe themselves to be seriously flawed.  It is a profound feeling of self-rejection ... secretly debilitating, eating away at your soul.  

I had to find a way to let those shameful feelings go and realize that they didn’t belong to me.  I started to do the work and boy it was an uphill battle.  I had to stop carrying the heavy burden and toxic presence.  Instead of being the cynic, looking for the “catch” or “hidden agenda” ... I started to truly believe in ME.  Replacing self-judgement with self-acceptance ... We are all valued, we are all loved, we are all deserving ... we are all GOD’s children.

And I know that it is a continuous struggle ... believing that you deserve the best, feeling equal to others, and learning to trust yourself.  Perhaps this is why cancer came into my life ... to teach me how to finally know what loving myself is all about ...

" Under Pressure ... "

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

Can't we give ourselves one more chance?

Why can't we give love that one more chance?

Why can't we give love, give love, give love..?

'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word

and love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night

And love dares you to change our way of

Caring about ourselves

This is our last dance, this is ourselves

Under pressure, Under pressure

~ Queen ~ Under Pressure ~

***

Stress.  We all know it.  But when people say that stress can kill you are they exaggerating?  I don’t think so.  Stress kills people every single day.  And sure you don’t seem them dropping like flies from it because it takes a long time for it to really do some damage to you.  But the cornoner’s report rarely list “stress” as the cause of death.  This is because stress itself doesn’t kill you ... stress leads to a wide range of other health problems that will.

Think about it ... you are living a otherwise positive and happy life and suddenly you develop unexplained symptoms.  Your quality of life diminishes ... good chance they are related to stress.  But what is “stress” exactly.  

Stress is an explaination of a series of negative effects and emotions ... such as anxiety, worry, fatigue, laziness, agitation, concentration problems, mood swings, lack of motivation, insomnia, depression, isolation, anger, depression, paranoia, and possibly suicidal.

Yet the greatest damage is to our immune system.  Research has shown that stressing over a long period of time raises our cortisol levels.  Corisol is a hormone that the body produces and one which naturally suppresses the immune system.  There is a lot of research regarding the immunosuppression and it's correlation with different types of diseases. An immunosuppressed person is more likely to catch the common cold and flu, as well as more likely to get serious life-threatening diseases.  

I recently read the following 5 steps, which I try to adapt ... 

EXPECT IT ~ Be prepared by taking good care of yourself; you never know what the day will bring.  Life is an adventure so approach it as such.  Be your own cheerleader.  Spend time with God everyday, be confident in what you believe, and draw strength from it.

EMBRACE IT ~ Get a new attitude towards life ... a determined stance to ride the waves of life and succeed through the storms. I decided long ago I would not live a life of regret. Now, as I get ready for the day, I say a prayer for strength to face with confidence what comes my way, and the courage to get help and support when overwhelmed. 

EVALUATE IT ~ Be honest and real about what pressures occupy your thoughts, consume your energy or cause you grief.  Are you exaggerating the importance of a stressor: will it really matter one year from now, or five years from now?

ENGAGE IT ~ It’s time to take action.  If you can change it, do it now.  Procrastination is one of your worst enemies, stealing precious moments of your life. 

EMERGE FROM IT ~ Process the pressure and pain to get through it, and emerge successful and free. This requires effort, whether it is to brush off the stress of the day, or to push through the weight of a significant loss.   

Face the strong currents of life with a defiant attitude and intention to achieve your goals, regardless of your circumstances.  Decide that life is worth living ... we all have a purpose, and we will succeed if we manage the stress in our life in a healthy manner.