Tuesday, March 31, 2015

thank-you for BEING ...

a time of endings ... and beginnings

Four years ago, I could see in her eyes as I spoke with fear.  She was reliving her experiences, yet still keeping it in check, she gave me sound advice.  M was able to provide support, love and compassion even though she had been dealing with the dreaded "C" herself. 

… when I called M and told her that I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, she knew she had her hands full … not only was I a mess, she had brought arm loads of resources on therapies, supplements, articles and latest trials over.  M’s kick ass approach to life is what attracted me to our friendship.  Her honest, compassionate presence allowed space for me to just be accepted as I was, completely whole, regardless of the dis-ease that began and remained within us.  M and I had got each other because we both got cancer-ed.

We met thru mutual means earlier in life and our friendship deepened with the ongoing awareness that we were both dealing with a very similar, yet very different situation.  We may not have got each others symptoms, but we connected in a very authentic way until her final breathe.

M would be one of a few people that was a constant in my life.  I realize the sadness I feel is the loss of not only a beautiful friend but a kind soul whom I am blessed to have known.  

M, beautiful soul sister, thank-you for BEING ... infinite love ...


Saturday, March 28, 2015

" Failure ... "

“ ... Life will come our way, it has only just begun
The world will die alone, the frail will fall below
Time will take our place, we return it back to one
The calm before the cold, the long and lonely road
Look for the light that leads me home

Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down

We bury the sunlight, we bury the sunlight
Failure, failure ... “

~ Breaking Benjamin ~ Failure ~

It is still hard to say the F word out loud.  Most of us feel awkward, vulnerable, uncomfortable with the idea.    We are afraid of it and don’t want to even mention it in case we jinx our situation ... and by the way, the F word I am referring to is ... failure.  

For most of my life, I allowed failure to define me.  I let failure decide if I was going to achieve what I set out.  I let failure guide my outcome.  Regardless of new work, new ventures or new goals, failure always crept into my mind.  

Yet I have had to learn that over time, learning to love failure and embrace it in ways, give me power.  Failure does not require me to give up, it requires me to learn ... more.  I have had to learn that failure can be a momentary defeat, something that is a small obstacle, to again, learn and move through.  

Failure is only real once you accept it as real
you only fail at something once you give up on it ... 

Failure gives us a to re-evaluate and find the gift within what has occurred, teaching something valuable.  Failure will never seem permanent, nor will it shatter your confidence and belief in yourself.  

Failure may paralyze you,  
but it doesn’t define you ...

If we simply view failure as progress, we realize we are moving forward.  The only way to never achieve anything in life is to never try to do anything.  When we experience failure, we are in the process of learning, growing and achieving our goals. 

Regardless of your level of risk taking, your level of success will be equivalent to the level of the failure that came before it ... failure is not as important as the courage it takes to try ... keep going, you are enough xx


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

" Rushing ... "

“ ... And the weeks and the months go rushing by
This year we have learned how to live
How to forget, and how to forgive without fear, ohh ooh

... This year I pray for you, uh
And I thank God for you
Just wanna be with you

This year that's all I wanna do
Day by day, I'm gonna get my way
This year I pray for you
Seasons turn, I've got a lot to learn ...

This year we have learned how to live ... “

~ Moby ~ Rushing ~

Ralph Emerson said “we are always getting ready to live but never living”.  It seems that most people are busy, short of time and rushing through life ... but what if you just be in the moment?  Not practical you might think because you have so much to do, so much to say.  Fair enough ... but have you ever tried slowing down and taking a backseat to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer?

When we rush through life, we forget to life in the NOW.   

When you rush through life, you miss out on the journey.  You miss out on living in the present and you miss out on those precious moments of life.  All because you are busy trying to next step, get to the next place.  

So, I call bullshit ... because when you are busy in your life with lots to be done each day, you are simply making an excuse to deal with yourself.  What are you avoiding, what don’t you want to deal with ... what IS the rush?

To be busy has become a way of life.  It signifies importance for some and for others, a perception of how responsible one is.  Yet more of us are clocking longer hours and we seem to even pack our free time with extra activities.  Plus, we do it to ourselves ... the addiction to the adrenaline rush of doing too much and at the last minute ... maybe to seek appreciation ... maybe to increase our value ... maybe if we do more, get better, go faster ... it just becomes a habit.

Thankfully, we can rebel against a hectic lifestyle and slow down to enjoy life.  A slow paced life means you make time to enjoy your morning, instead of rushing off to work.  A slow paced life means you enjoy your conversation rather than being distracted by your phone.  Personally, slowing down is a conscious choice I make ... and not always an easy one.  Yet I have a greater appreciation for life and the happiness available to me at any given moment.  I just need to be here, now, because I am constantly reminded, there is no other place to be.

Prioritize and begin by doing less.  Focus on what is really important, what really needs to be done and let go of the rest.  Become mindful of whatever you are doing in the moment.  Be fully available for others and listen because we think we listen, but we are really thinking about ourselves and what we want to say.  Make a point to do one task at a time.  And always go back to your breathe.  If you find yourself speeding up and stressing out ... pause and take a breathe, by focusing on each breath will bring you back to the present moment and slow yourself down.  

Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle 
that they need to overcome ... since the present moment is life itself, 
it is an insane way to live ~ Eckhart Tolle

Friday, March 6, 2015

" Regret ... "

Maybe I've forgotten
The name and the address
Of everyone I've ever known,
It's nothing I regret ...

I would like a place I can call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up everyday, that would be a start
I would not complain 'bout my wounded heart ...

Just wait 'till tomorrow
I guess that's what they all say
Just before they fall apart...

~ New Order ~ Regret ~

We grow a lot when we are faced with our own mortality.  We begin to reflect on the past with pride or regret.  And that regret may have common themes that start to surface again and again.  

How many dreams have gone unfulfilled?  How many don’t have the courage to live a life true to self?  How many don’t have the courage to express their true feelings?  

When a loss occurs, we reflect on what we had.  Until we are able to fill it with something or someone else.  We think we have time and we rarely think we will run out of it.  Yet it is very important to try to honour at least some of your dreams along the way.  

By simplifying your lifestyle, making conscious choices and creating more space in your life you become more open to life rather than wishing you did more.

By expressing your feelings in a un-harmful way, you become who you are truly capable of becoming.  Suppressing emotions manifest as a dis-ease or ill-ness in the body.  

By giving relationships the time and effort they deserve, you realize the full benefits of the human connection.  Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

“ ... it is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships ... “

By choosing happiness for you rather than comfort, familiarity or playing it safe.  Fear of change can make you pretend to others, to yourself that you are content.  

So whether it be a wake up call, an epiphany, a mid-life crisis or simply choosing to live the life you want, do it now ... your future self will thank-you for it.