Wednesday, November 26, 2014

" How ... "

There’s a time and place
For one more sweet embrace
And is time ... 

Time can come and take away the pain
But I just want my memories to remain
To hear your voice
To see your face
There’s not one moment I’d erase ... 

How can I forget your love?
How can I never see you again?

~ Regina Spektor ~ How ~

I’ve heard a lot of talk about checking things off your bucket list.  Making sure you have the experience, while you can, before you go.  And it makes sense, as I’ve myself talked about as well ... but I also believe it’s not only about checking things off your bucket list, its about being present in every moment.

Being present in every moment allows you to fully experience the now.  Sounds simple, but as most of us know by now, difficult to stay present when there are many many many things to distract you into the past or future.

So how do you live your life ... bucket list or presence?  Most will answer, presence of course.  But when was the last time you couldn’t call a friend because you were busy planning your trip, from your bucket list?  You know you’ll get to it, eventually, yet eventually sometimes doesn’t come.  And so you have all these wonderful experiences you can broadcast all over social media, to social media friends ... and completely be disconnected from society.  We’ve all either read about it, or are the one writing it at some time ...

For some, an opportunity to detach from relationships and check out LIFE.  For others, there is a quest for balance.  To be able to do what you want to do and share with those you wish to share with.  Yet life seem so busy for so many.  I hear from others how their lives are full of ... stuff.  Stuff that causes suffering.  But this suffering is familiar.  So on with the busy-ness of life.  And that is “how” most of us live ... busy planning out next experience.

But, hey you are the only judge regarding “how” you live your life ... thrive on adventure or human connections.  You have the free will, how you live your life.  But does your how bring regrets?  Regrets that you didn’t spend enough time, you didn't put enough energy into, you didn’t say what you have to say, or you didn’t do what you wanted to do ...

Is it as simple to decide in this very moment “how” you will pass each moment going forward?  Simple concept that requires moment by moment practice .

How we live our lives is an example of who we are, not what we say we are going to do, or going to be ... but how.  How we live and how we treat others.  And it is never too late ... to change how you want the rest of your life to be.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

" KickStart ... "

You want me to come over
I got an excuse
Might be holding your hand
But I'm holding it loose

Go to talk then we choke
It's like our necks in a noose
Avoid the obvious
We should be facing the truth

Start to think it could be fizzling out
Kinda shocked because I never really had any doubts
Look into your eyes, imagine life without ya

And the love kickstarts again
Starts again
And the love kickstarts again
Starts again

~ Example ~ KickStart ~ 

We all set an example by simply being.  And for those of us with the extra challenge of a health concern, it is critical.  Being Present.

We focus on the future generation and our children when leading by example, being good role models and parents.  Yet there are times when we need someone to lead us.

During times of uncertainty and darkness, 
we look to those with strength and courage to lighten the load.

During times of sadness and grief, 
we look to those with love and support to carry us through.

Personally speaking, it has been possible to still live, hold a job, take care of families & friends, and remain active in the community ... with cancer.  Now, life has more meaning, more purpose, more value.  Now, living this life is about creating an environment where others can feel comfortable in sharing what they are facing.  A calling, a purpose ... whatever it may be, regardless, it feels good to be useful.

And there is always help along he way.  Blessed to have a few in my life who inspire me every day with their passion, their zest, their spark, their wisdom, their guidance and the simple love of life ... no matter what challenge they are facing.  They motivate me to live authentically from heart and soul because they’ve taught me that perhaps this diagnosis is a part of my life and not necessarily the cause of my death.

We find ourselves in situations out of our control.  Cancer can be one of them.  It is unpredictable and it is a game.  A game to get ahead of it and neutralize it.  And just when you think you’ve got it figured out, there is another lesson to be learned.  A journey full of suffering and blessings all packaged into one.  

Acceptance ...

Leading by example implies you take responsibility and choose as what you are going to do with your challenge.  And so you have a choice ... do you let it define you or do you let it drive you?  Because either way, life is happening through you, not to you.  Choosing what you do with it determines how you live ... your example to all those around you.  The way you live, act and behave matters.  Consider what your influence, how you want to be remembered and what is your legacy.  

Because setting an example by the way you be 
is the only authentic way to positively influence your world ...

Monday, November 17, 2014

"You Matter To Me ... "

Look up, the sky is crying
Endless tears
Feels like my whole world's dying
It hurts when you're not here ... 

'Cause you matter to me and that's why
You still matter to me

You still matter to me, yes you do ...

And that's the only reason I need, ain't no lie

~ KISS ~ You Matter To Me ~

Life truly is beautiful and timing can be Divine even when you feel like your may be sucked down into a vortex of ... when you don’t know where to turn or who to turn, it can happen.  A message, a sign, a indication that ... everything is as it should be.

As cryptic as this may sound, today has been one of those days.  One of those days that I needed to hear it.  You know those times you wonder if you were to drop today, would it matter.  Graciously, to some it does.  And NO this is not a “victimhood ~ I feel bad ~ please feel sorry for me” situation.  This is reality, mine.  With every day, the courage we all need to face whatever life throws us ... but some moments it is just. too. hard.  And sometimes, you just. need. help.

In having one of those moments, I felt that I would receive some message, sign or indication ... that what I do matters, in this moment.  And it happened.  An call, kind words, support, love and authentic expression.  How precious for someone to be vulnerable and tell another that they matter.  Those words made my heart sing and my eyes weep ... ever so grateful for her courage and expression.

Do we say it enough ... Do we show it enough ... 
and how much is enough?  

Living a life full of regrets is a miserable existence ... and in my opinion an entire waste of the “gift” of living.  Why bother?  Taking it for granted and focusing on the lack.  It is habitual, we all do it ... even the most inspiring person you know does, albeit privately.  Because strong people are looked upon to cope, to lead and to take charge.  And sometimes they put their own hurt and exhaustion aside when other rely on them.  

“ ... show up to life each day, often with a smile on your face, 
and they’d never know how tough it is for you to keep doing that ... “

I read recently that “ ... reassurance is no substitute for healthy self-esteem, but even the healthiest of us need to hear it sometimes ... “.  So why are we so afraid of asking for it and so resistant to giving it?  

This fear is often justified because you may be the one that is usually gives the reassurance.  So how can YOU ask for help?  You got it figured out, you seem to be okay, so why do you need help?  

And there it is  ... an image that you are holding onto.  
The image that “I’ve got my shit together”.  
So how can it be tarnished by ASKING for help?  
I mean, aren’t you the one that has this figured out already???  

Drop the self-criticism  judgement and the drama that goes with it.  And you may as well drop the cape, tight pants and mask because even with all the work you've put in, you can find yourself in a situation where you can’t get your emotions to listen to reason.  You can be your own hero, but sometimes you need a break .... and sometimes you’ve used everything in your “spiritual tool box” ... and just when you think you can't ... a friendly voice says “hey, it’s okay to let me be the strong one in this moment”.  

I am learning every day that to be strong is to show your vulnerability, your times of needing help and your times of not having it all put together.  Those are the times you can share the load, the burden ... a precious gift, because healing occurs when we are truly heard.

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world 
~ Robin Williams

Saturday, November 15, 2014

" Stuck Like Glue ... "

Absolutely no one who knows me better
No one that can make me feel so good
How did we stay so long together?
When everybody said we never would

There you go making my heart beat again
Heart beat again, heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid
Won't you do it, do it one time? ...

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, stuck like glue ...
Some days I don't feel like trying
Some days you know I wanna just give up
When it doesn't matter who's right ... 
Everybody want some

~ Sugarland ~ Stuck Like Glue ~

Stuck, stuck like glue ... stuck-ness ... finding yourself feeling disappointed, deflated, burnt out, overwhelmed and alone.  I use to think that being stuck was similar to procrastinating.  Yet what I am learning is that being stuck serves a spiritual purpose ... an opportunity for transformation.

“ ... the key to moving forward when you find yourself stuck is to allow yourself to stay painfully aware of your feeling of being stuck, because awareness is the first step in changing anything. Do whatever you need to do to break through that stuck feeling. Get help if you need it ... “

Stuck-ness is a message, loud and clear, that you need a change.  And it isn’t about waiting around for that lucky break or miracle, it is about change of ... habits, priorities, perspective and heart.  Stuck-ness invites growth and expansion.  Stuck-ness is impermanent like everything else.  

Sometimes we don’t even know we are stuck until what worked before doesn’t work anymore ... change is needed to see where we can soften and open up. 

The good news is that you are not alone.  Everyone feels stuck at some time or another because it is a part of the human life cycle giving us a message that something has to give.  So how do you get un-stuck?

Begin with unconditional acceptance.  Accept where you are today.  Not what you could do and where you where you were.  When you change your relationship to what you feel, you release your resistance to it, allowing a shift and transformation to take place.  And don’t mistake acceptance with being passive, it is the key to empowerment.  Next let go and surrender because surrendering is a door opener.  It initiates the process of letting go of our personal limitations and aligning with an intelligence that is greater than us.

And, remember to ask for support.  There are no brownie points for martyrdom, so just ASK!  Finding a strategic approach to doing things differently can be supported by like minded people.  That force in your corner, that voice that helps you see your progress as well as when you are getting off track, letting you know what you need to hear, not what to hear.  It is not about looking for perfection or feeling guilty and shame for where you are because that only once purpose ... to keep you in the muck.

Friday, November 14, 2014

" Vigor ... "

“ ... start of lyrics A pebble, a bone, a sigh and such
Can all become unnerving when one is succumb 
To the vigor of fear
Reckless as, it feeds on the young

Fear, fear in myself evoking thought
Why all just seems so unfathomable

A sword in my breast, twice kissed in protest
Why all just seemed so unfathomable
Yet totally real... “

~ Alpine ~ The Vigor ~

The word Oja, comes from Sanskrit and means “vigor”.  Within the principles of Ayurveda, Oja is the essential energy of the body which can be equated with the “fluid of life”.  

“ ... Ojas (pronounced oh-jus) is the ultimate refined result of digestion, metabolism, absorption and assimilation. The substance that connects the mind to the body and consciousness, it is a wholesome biochemical substance that nourishes all body tissues and has a direct influence on the nature and quality of physical, mental and emotional life. Ojas’ primary location is the heart, from where it circulates to and pervades the entire body. Ojas is collected from the body’s seven tissues — plasma, blood, muscle, adipose tissue (fat), bone, bone marrow, and reproductive tissue (semen and ovum) — by the influence of enzymes (Agnis), similar to how a bee collects honey from the essence of many flowers. The purest substance in the universe and omnipresent in the human being, ojas is responsible for higher states of consciousness, purity of thoughts, perfect health, positivity in feelings, love, joy, better immunity, longevity, intelligence, creativity, memory, bliss, and thought process. When an individual’s inner consciousness awakens spontaneously, ojas increases. In a nutshell, ojas is the sap of the entire physiology and sustains the life of an individual ... “

Ojas is a type of vibrancy within you ... and can deplete in the process of life.  Ojas is spent when you are engaging in any of the five senses.  In the context of spiritual and emotional well-being, Oja is referred to as “the physiological expression of consciousness.”  Ojas is also considered the most refined by-product of digestion ... e.g. complete digestion of a meal is considered to take about 24 hours, it takes 30 days for the body to digest food and refine it enough to manufacture ojas.

How the Seven Body Tissues Can Deplete Ojas ...

Rasa production, which is the first nutrient fluid and eventually becomes lymph, is literally stopped by the chemistry of chronic stress. The lymphatic fluid flows best in an alkaline environment. Stress releases stress-fighting hormones that have acidic waste products. Excessive stress results in excess acidity which causes the lymph to congest. It can be stress from work, exercise, emotions, travel or digestive stress from bad food that can block rasa.

Rakta, the body’s blood, can deplete ojas when it becomes inflamed and toxic, carrying damaging inflammatory and degenerative chemicals throughout the body.

Mamsa, the muscle tissue, most commonly depletes ojas through excessive exercise and exhaustion.

Medha, the body’s fat, will deplete ojas when it is stored and taken out of circulation due to the excesses of stress. Most toxic chemicals are fat soluble and thus are stored in times of stress.

Asthi, the body’s bone, will deplete ojas due to chronic issues such as osteopenia and osteoporosis. These conditions are extremely rare in second and third world countries where the culture of stress is not as rampant.

Majja, the nervous system, depletes ojas when it is directly affected by chronic stress and excessive activities. Excess stress stimulates the release of degenerative hormones which accelerate aging, cause chronic disease, fatigue, sleep issues and much more.

Shukra is the reproductive fluid. Excessive sex will deplete ojas.

We can rebuild our system with proper food, rest and attitude.  Emphasis on the attitude ... rebuild your Oja by loving others, laughing, acting on what you are passionate about, giving and serving others, practicing yoga-breath work-meditation and being one with nature.