Tuesday, September 16, 2014

" Selective Memory ... "

"If i lay my head down
I will see you in my dream
Wearing that polka dot dress
And sitting by the stream
Leaning in to hear you
You will whisper in my ear
And everything i need to know
I finally hear

I wish i could remember
But my selective memory
Won't let me"

~ Eels ~ Selective Memory ~

Recently, I was given some advice … I was told to be selective.  Selective in what I give my attention to, what I focus on and what I allow into my environment.  And that is easier said than done because we get swept away by others or even our own useless thoughts. 
So where to do you start … by asking about that thing you are giving attention to … how will it make you feel?  From my own experience, I have consumed information in the past without questioning not only whether it is true, but the source.  Hence, being selective can be a very, very good thing.

And being selective directly affects your perspective too.  How can it not?  We can be more selective of what we think about, how we think about it and whether or not it serves us.  It is not about being a snob either.  It is about self-care and self-love.  

It is about taking care of what you need.

Now, you may read this and feel this is unrealistic … sure, perhaps for some, yet again from my experience, every single relationship in my life has transformed … some strengthened, others faded .. but the most important one, with myself, is where I see miracles.

I decide what you read … I decide what you watch … I decide what you listen to … I decide what you talk to others about … I decide …

I am grateful for my life and now, I want the rest of my life to have some meaning, some purpose, some use.  And so, feeding my mind with toxic information is not an option.  I have let go of these things and people in my life.   

Being selective allows you to create your own version of reality … personally, I choose to create a more happier rest of my life


Monday, September 8, 2014

" Don't Give Up ... "

Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are
Don't give up
You know it's never been easy
Don't give up
'Cause I believe there's a place
There's a place where we belong

~ Kate Bush ~ Don’t Give Up ~

Don’t let love pass you by.  Don’t let fear win.  
Don’t give up on love, give in.  Put love into action.

Great sentiments but what about when they hurt you?  Are you able to give another chance or do you cut them out of your life for good?  Whatever your answers are, you can’t lie to your heart.  People hurt us in our life in completely different ways.  Love is a very bumpy road where grudges have an opportunity to find a home.  

And it is sometimes easier to give up ...  
But, loving and being loved are what make our lives worth living.  Sadly, many people experience times in their lives when they close off their hearts.  But love is the energy of life.  This is what motivates us, every day, to keep going.  It gives us meaning and purpose ...

By reaching out and loving others, we can find true fulfillment.  Because what we focus on, grows.  Everyone in the world wants to be loved and accepted.  But this starts from within.  Believe that you are worthy enough, good enough for love.  I grew up believing that I would find that special someone, that prince charming ... the “right” guy.  And although I’m blessed with a pretty awesome guy, I realized that it was not about finding the right person.  It is about being the right person. 
So when we give up on love, do we give up on ourselves?  

Sometimes ... not able to make blanket statements about relationships, it really is about being okay with your decision to give up or give in.  You know what is right for you, but either way ... 


Friday, September 5, 2014

" Perfect ... "

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, Misplaced, Misunderstood
Miss no way it's all good
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Less than perfect

~ Pink ~ Perfect ~

If we are honest with ourselves, we would admit that we all have suffered some form of PMS ... yes, including the male population.  PMS ... Perfect Moment Syndrome.

Not what you were expecting I imagine, but when you get angry because things don’t go your way and your regrets start to mount, you are well on your way to wishing, hoping and striving for that. one. perfect. moment ... and it never comes.
So we get disappointed, we may wish for solitude, and then we venture out and try again.  Hopefully wiser, but not always.  And so the cycle continues.

Experiencing PMS is habitual as well.  We have the odd assumption that we actual have control over anything in our lives.  We don’t.  Anything and Everything is impermanent.  Perhaps a depressing and/or liberating thought ... depending on where you are in your journey.  And we know that although our intentions “next time” will be different, we may get caught in the same silly cycle.  

we never step into the same river twice ... 
due to the impermanence of all that is life ...

So how do we make the moment more manageable?
Truly savour the moment as it is, accepting its impermanent nature.  Don’t cling, don’t grasp because your focus will be on the what will be lost rather than be in the moment.
Logically how do we define perfection?  One persons perfect moment could be another’s disaster.  It really is about changing your perspective.  Leaning towards how full our lives are, rather than how empty they are until.  A very easy concept to understand, but from experience, twice as hard to practice.
Choosing to wait for the perfect moment, or to give it all you have now is up to you.  Yet when we look at the fragility and unpredictability of life, we may ask ourselves ... do we really think we have time?

From imperfections comes learning's, insights, realizations, exploration and adventure.  Sure there will and are challenges ... but what you decide to do with those challenges is what matters.  Hopefully with less and less attachment to the outcome.

Perhaps this viewpoint will allow this practice to be ... well, almost perfect.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

" Temper Temper ... "

This time you'd better bite your tongue
Think twice before you open that mouth
Take a breath, hold it in your lungs
Being from rage, will it overcome?

I feel the tension rising high
I feel a hump down in my chest
Nothing is strange, I see in red
Can't hold it back
Here comes my...

Temper temper, time to explode
Feels good when I lose control
Temper temper, time to explode
Chamber's empty, time to reload

~ Bullet For My Valentine ~ Temper Temper ~

So you think that temper tantrums only apply to children?  Well I just proved otherwise ... today.  Yeah, not a proud moment I might add.  Downright embarrassing to be honest.  And I know that I am not alone ... 

You see as a child when I threw a tantrum, my Mother wouldn’t wait patiently until I calmed down.  She would confront me upfront and in a stern, no nonsense voice of imposing authority, inform me that there was no way she was going to up with my drama act.  I could scream, stomp and even body-slam fits of rage, she would have none of it.  And I love her for it.  Because she knew, as a toddler, I wasn’t a master in effectively communicating my feelings or solving problems.

Sure needed that no nonsense tone today ...

Okay, rather than beating myself up for the entire day, I get that anger manifests when the demands we place on ourselves, others or on the world are not being met to our expectations.  So the question is ... are my expectations realistic and fair?  

We are conditioned by society to believe that we should have what we want when we want it, that we deserve only the best and should not deny ourselves, and that we shouldn't have to work hard to obtain possessions, success, health, or love.  So we carry on with life, trying to find quick fixes for every possible need.  And when life doesn’t go as planned (almost always), our inner child may ... ahem, bloom.

So I check my ego and ask ... do I consider myself more important than others (no) ... do I feel my rights trump yours (no) ... are my needs greater than the other person at this moment (no) ... 

darn, sadly no excuse for bad behaviour ... i’m sorry

I am realizing that when we are denied what we are seeking, personal and spiritual growth have a chance, because it enables us to prioritize what is really important.

I know better ... I have better tools ... I know I can learn from this ...
Do no harm ...

Letting your raw emotions out is important so they won’t leak into the rest of your life ... as long as you project to an inanimate object.  Dealing with anger effectively, in the moment, is golden.  The key is finding a safer way to deal with it,  allowing a full release, without making an a$$ in the process.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

" Purpose ... "

I saw an angel hit the ground
Fly to nowhere above sky
Cross another cold state line
Purpose almost hard to find
Climb a mountain reach the sun
Face the storm and lightning thunder
Seem I never found it one
Purpose really hard to find

Another time to stay
Almost fine the way

You believe of what you say
You believe of what you learn
If you fine these one
Many life will come into you
~ Stand Up ~ Purpose ~

I believe that once you have served your purpose, your time is up.  Regardless of age or circumstances, I believe we are all here for a reason.  And some may feel that reason  is connected to God, or to do God’s work ... so what is your purpose?

Not really a question that is asked in a daily conversation ...  
Soooooo, how are youuuuu? and whaaaaaaat’s your purpose?

We don’t usually think in this way and thank goodness, most of us don’t talk this way.  Yet we don’t think about purpose, we think about the things we need to do, the things we have done, the things we may miss out on, and the people we do the things with.  Does that about sum it up?  So where in all those thoughts does purpose fit in?

Well that is entirely up to you.  You can take ANY opportunity ... abandonment, death, illness, loss ... and ask what is the blessing in this ordeal?  And is it really an ordeal or is it an adventure?  And does this line of questioning annoy you?

Probably ... because I have had some say, it is easy to write inspirational thoughts when you are in a good place.  But here is the catch, we can be in a good place because it is available to us, always.  Period.  But we have to want it … leading you to your purpose ... trust me, from experience, it happens.  

Having had to attend a few funerals this year, as well as say goodbye to all but one fellow “patient” from the Gerson clinic in the last three years … accepting ANY death can be, well, unbearable.  When our loved ones pass on, sadness amongst other emotions, is natural.  But I know what that sadness is for me ... for what I will miss in that person.  I also believe that as difficult, tragic and overwhelming the loss is, there must be some purpose that had been reached.  I don't have to LIKE it but I trust the process and have faith in the journey we think we control, but don’t.

And that is the power of purpose.  It is what gives us strength to carry on through transitions and changes.  This shift is towards our ultimate goal and the path that fits ...
So the next logical question may be … how do I find or know my purpose?  Well it seems that the more we dedicate ourselves to a cause greater than ourselves something happens … we can add our values, strengths and passion to figure out how combined can be put into service … purpose.

I use to believe that there had to be a grand gesture to signify my purpose.  And still working towards meeting a purpose, at times, my thoughts change on why and how and where I am, what I can share and how it impacts, anyone.  

Yet, I’ve realized that the gesture doesn’t have to be grand.  It is possible to experience small adversities that provide opportunities for progress.  And within these small adversities, my purpose lies ... because suffering is an opportunity to reflect on the mistakes of my own mind and to reform myself.  

Perhaps that is when our purpose has been fully met …