Friday, February 27, 2015

" My body, my choice, my life, my death ... "

my body, my choice, my life, my death

Waking up this morning to the news of Jessica Ainscough passing away was heart breaking.  Jessica had survived a rare cancer diagnosis for 7 years.  At 22 years old, she was diagnosed with epithelioid sarcoma in her arm and shoulder.  Jess elected not to have an amputation and instead pursued the Gerson Therapy.  I was first introduced about Jess in 2011 while visiting the Gerson Clinic in Tijuana, Mexico.  I’ve been inspired by Jess through her motivational speaking, blogging and book, Make Peace With Your Plate

With this sad news circulating within social media, many are quick to voice their opinions on what should and should not have done.  And loads are voicing in on their view on “alternative treatment” and the quackery behind it ...

Yet what ever happened to leaving space and time for others to heal?  How important is it to share your view on what you think when a young woman has enough courage to stand her ground in the face of adversity?  Do the “I told you so” pundits feel vindicated?  Does it feel good to “predict” a young woman’s death years ago only to dig it up in a juicy article, slamming anything other than conventional treatment?  How do you know her death could have been “prevented” or she could have been “saved” if she was more “transparent” in her life?

my body, my choice, my life, my death

I find it curious when critics say that Jess’s choices were misguided, insane and selfish.  I find it curious when the same critics have NEVER walked in her shoes ... why not ask one of us who actually live with cancer how life really is?   

Jess was one of those who lived life fully despite what reality presented itself.  Death at a young age is only tragic when those who leave us have potential to do so much more.  And although Jess was only 30, the impact that this courageous woman has left in my life is beyond words.  Whether these words silence or arouse you, for me, Jessica Ainscough was an amazing health and wellness advocate.  Her courage, conviction and love for life was, and will continue to be, incredibly inspirational.  She was a powerful example of what trusting in yourself regardless of the possibilities is all about.  She lived for what she believed in ... 

my body, my choice, my life, my death

Sunday, February 22, 2015

" Conscious ... "

“ Now, that I'm here
breaking my relationship with time and space
watching my life through the milky glasses of a window
now it all becomes so clear
If I had the opportunity to smell
the enchanted wind of a spring flower
I would take a deep breathe
to relax ... 

Now, that I'm here
breaking my relationship with time and space
watching my life through the clear glasses of a window
I get aware of the small things which are least the greatest
I left my life
my physical form of life behind
I realize my blunted and senseless way of life
I should have lived my life much more conscious “

~ Kai Tracid ~ Conscious ~ 

Most of our conscious choices originate from fear.  We limit ourselves in response to these underlying fears.  When an opportunity to do something outside of our comfort zone, we speak how amazing it would be to just “go for it”, yet we also tell ourselves that it would probably be best to just keep doing what we are doing.  We sabotage our growth into new directions and cultivate a sense of stagnation.

Could we be happier taking more risks?  
Could we gain some satisfaction in trying something new? ... 

When we find that the things we use to do, that gave us contentment, are no longer satisfying, it’s time to make that change.  There is a sense of transition, perhaps outgrowing the old.  And graciously we know that with new endings there are always new beginnings.  

Challenging your limiting beliefs is a great place to start.  Ask yourself if your choices are supporting your intentions or someone else’s expectations?  

Full of excitement and fear, eagerness and anxiety and every other emotion to fill in the gaps, when we make a conscious choice, we take a stand.  And sometimes the reactions and their residual effects creep in.  So, rather than allowing them to feed your self-doubt, consider them as signs along your path.  Use them as a tool for adjustment.  Consider them a blessing rather than a hurdle.

Choosing to live a conscious life is not something you do just once ... it is a way of living.  And thankfully, it is simply thinking about everything you do and say.  Because it matters.  

It is easy to live life on autopilot and do what we always do because that’s what we are use to doing.  Yet it is more fulfilling to live the life we have the potential to experience.  And that choice is always available to us.

Friday, February 20, 2015

" Be Prepared ... "

“ ... My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking kings and successions

Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer

And where do we feature?
Just listen to teacher
Be prepared! ... “

~ Lion King ~ Be Prepared ~ 

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011, the fear of death consumed me.  I was obsessed with “not dying”.  I prayed, hoped, cursed, bargained and even tempted it.  I thought if I ignored it, it would go away.  I began to feel that life was meaningless, spirally into this vortex of darkness ...

Overall, our fear of death is pretty unhealthy.  Add to it an incurable dis-ease and we do anything we can to avoid it.  Yet we are aware that death is a natural uncontrollable process.  So rather than fearing death, perhaps we fear dying unprepared.  Not knowing when it will happen, how it will happen and who will help us transition to the next side.  If we follow the philosophy that we are gifted this life to prepare for our death, a real sense of urgency can then inspire us.  

I have learned that we are to prepare for a peaceful and successful death ... 
and make the most of this precious life we have been gifted ...

Believers of reincarnation understand that we are travellers passing through.  We came from a previous life and eventually we shall move on to our next life.  Our birth and death are empty-handed and alone.  And everything we have accumulated in this life, including our very body, will be left behind.  Hence if we ignored death we would have wasted our life working for things that we only have to leave behind.

All that we can take with us from one life to the next 
are the imprints of the positive and negative actions we have created ... 

Life presented itself with events that force me to become realistic about my mortality.  And four years later, I am still consumed with death.  Yet my awareness has transitioned from fear to acceptance.  With the guidance of an awakened teacher, my spiritual development has become far more important that the attainments of this world.  I have infinite gratitude towards my teacher who continues to support me as I cultivate patience, love, compassion, wisdom and clarity.  

death is a process of coming home ...
How we can have a good death is by having a good life.  How we pass reflects the way we lived our lives.  Living a life of emotional turmoil may lead to our dying full of regrets, trouble and pain.  It is far better to care for the lives for all around us rather than spending a fortune in prolonging life itself.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

" Show Up ... "

“ Thought so, haz-ey (eh)
Chillin on that cloud
thinking i might be crazy
Kinda been thinking about it lately ... 

But they will never play me
My game play is amazing
Who could ever knowwww
What the future holdsss
But will you pay attention
When my storys told

We aint getting young, we only getting old
So now i live life
By a different code
Gotta live life like
I will never die
Only pray for one thing
Thats to stay forever fly, Yeah ... “

~ Kid Cudi ~ Show Up ~

There are plenty of triggers so you don’t feel good about yourself.  You start to turn away and figure you are just not worth it.  You stop giving to yourself along the way because someone somewhere told you that you were just plain selfish.  

Yet something amazing happens when you choose to show up and commit to yourself.  In those moments there is freedom to be who you are and do what makes you feel good.  There aren’t any one(s) doubting you.  There aren’t any one(s) sabotaging you.  Because showing up for YOU is a life long process and it is all about you.  It is about love, compassion and acceptance of SELF.  When you show up for you, you show up for your dreams, your goals and your aspirations.  Your self-worth is based on what’s happening within you and not based on others approval.

Sounds simply but .... and it is a practice ... it is not easy, especially if you are like me who wants to be of service to others.  Not a martyr, just a helper.  Personally, a constant self-reminder to myself helps me ... to remind myself that I have everything I need to show up for me and choose me.  That I come first for me and no one else.

The best way is to let go
Let go of what happened before 
because it can’t be changed, modified or erased ... 

How do you let go of what has happened before? ... you LOVE YOURSELF - all of you.  The ugly and the good, the dark and the light, the anger and the joy.  It is all there within you available to explore.  Perhaps some are concerned of the optics, the visual and how this will all be for others ... yet does it really matter?  

And how do you begin to love ... 
you FORGIVE you
Your opinion of you matters most ... 

For some, it is a badge of honor to keep the legacy of pain alive, you know the pain you grew up with.  It is useful when things go wrong, or right.  It is useful when we want to blame someone else.  It is useful when we play ... victim.

Does this seem like a practice to become self centered and self absorbed?  Not if you commit with a pure and authentic heart.  You see self esteem isn’t about being falsely supported or protected.  It isn’t about convincing others or erasing differences.  It is simply about being kind, patient and compassionate towards yourself regardless of your flaws.  

When you show up for yourself, you begin to recognize your imperfections as an asset.  It is what makes you unique and you.  

Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose and commit myself to, what is best for me ―Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

Friday, February 13, 2015

" Cigarettes And Valentines ... "

“ Let us paralyze this moment till it dies
To the end of the earth
Under the valley of the stars ... 

Deep inside my heart
Take a ride through the avenue
Across the great divide ... 

I'm alive, it cries
Red alert is the color
Of your paper valentine ... 

In this, do you wanna be my valentine? “

~ Green Day ~ Cigarettes And Valentines ~ 

A time to show appreciation for that special someone in your life.  A time to take a relationship to the next level.  A time to celebrate love.  But why do we require an assigned date full of expectations?

Do we set ourselves up to be disappointed?  Do we sabotage our relationship?  Personally, I feel that Valentines Day can harm your relationships.  Mainly because there is something stirring around this much-anticipated romantic holiday.

When loved ones don’t live up to the lofty cultural ideas associated with this holiday alternatives might start to look a bit more interesting.  Relationship that are struggling may completely break under the pressure of Being Mine.  And in some causes, this holiday may just emphasize just how much effort your partner is willing to put in ... or does it?

If you are blessed to have a rock solid partner, no holiday let alone Valentines Day can be do harm.  Because you don’t require Hallmark or anyone else to decide when, how and why you express your love.  It is within you, it is a part of you and it is who you are.  Having a designated day can be an opportunity then to do something for someone but it doesn’t have to be the only day.

We are most alive when we're in love - John Updike

Valentines Day is a beautiful day to express your love ... but why only one day?  What holds us back from doing something nice for those we love on February 13th or on Sunday?  If you knew that you only had a limited time with those you love, wouldn’t you tell them every chance you got?  Does that make you vulnerable or does that make you wise?  And are we afraid our love would be reciprocated and therefore we shy away on the basis of rejection?  

We are pure energetic love

We are connected to One and we are complete

Sadness is having the love within you die within you

Express yourself ... Love Only No Regrets