" Speak The Truth … "

So now speak the truth
And if you ever say my name
Speak the truth

Hate-I'll see hate 'til I breathe my last words
Pain-There's no pain in what you call honour

Starved for attention you're mocking my name
So quick to judge me but not to my face
Starved for attention you leech off my name
Hollow in your heart from birth to the grave

So now speak the truth
And if you ever say my name
Speak the truth
Got what you wanted from my name?

~ Throwdown ~ Speak The Truth ~ 

***

Speak your truth or get out of the way of those who have a difference to make.  This is the advice my practitioner gave me ... pretty blunt but pretty honest.

Truth is more powerful when you speak from love.  When we choose to speak our truth, we also have a choice ... to choose only positive thoughts and words to describe our self, our life and our world.  Our words determine our outcome because they are full of powerful energy.  And energy that can be used in a constructive way, a positive way ... or alternatively a destructive and suffering way.

How do you do this when you are not feeling so positive about what is happening around you?  Begin with the big picture and trust that you are just as you are, others are doing the best they know how at that moment and they too are just trying to find their way.  

The best way to honour your energy is to learn this practice.  Try an experiment ... hold untruths and put them forward ... your energy field or aura will weaken ... setting yourself up for karmic repercussions as well.  And learning to speak truth at all times is important as this does others a high service as well.  And simply in terms of integrity, holding a high inner integrity is rewarded by the universe and can open doors.

When we have a low level of integrity we attract low energy from others and also we miss opportunities that are handed to other souls who are deemed more deserving or more in tough with their integrity ... 

Speaking your truth is one thing ... finding your truth is another.  What is your truth is not a question we are asked in school or in a job interview ... your truth is learning how to say what we mean and mean what we say.  Having a positive attitude helps too ... because you feel empowered for what you stand for and therefore  what you are telling others.  

It is about finding a BALANCE ... rather than push your views and beliefs onto others, state your truth quietly and with conviction.  Remember, it is okay if it is not accepted as it doesn’t diminish it’s WORTH to YOU.  

And what is the result of not speaking your truth?  ... it undermines who you are in essence.  When we deny our self truth, we are acting falsely to what we think and feel, we have lost most of what makes us “us”.  It can happen gradually, due to the influence of others and our environment, or maybe we never truly understood who it is we are in to being with.  

what makes you tick?  

what do you truly desire?  

what do you really stand for?  

The aim is to become more of who you already are, or to aligning to your soul essence while living in this human form.  Create quiet time, think deeply about what you stand for, be honest in your dealings and about who you are ... and for those that choose to judge you, they aren’t worthy of your efforts anyhow.

Every man dies but not every many lives 

~ William Wallace

" Like You ... "

Grieving for you,

I'm not grieving for you.

Nothing real love can't undo,

And though I may have lost my way,

All paths lead straight to you ...

You're not alone,

No matter what they told you, you're not alone.

I'll be right beside you forevermore ...

And as we lay in silent bliss,

I know you remember me.

~ Evanescence ~ Like You ~

***

Have you ever asked yourself, “would you like you if you met you?” ... or “what kind of vibe do you give off?” .. or “what am I giving back to those around me?”

You see we all want positive influences in our lives.  We search and search in hopes to forage friendships that inspire us ... yet often we forget to ask ourselves if we are positive influences.  

So back to the questions, can you honestly say you are happy with the answers?  Just think about the times you are just plain not fun to be around ... you are in a rush, stressed, or impatient.  Because who wants to be around someone who isn’t enjoying the moment.

Believe that if you want to be around a certain type of person, you need to be that type of person ...

At our very core we have certain attributes and characteristics that make us who we are ... so this isn’t about changing ourselves, it is about being true to ourselves.  Your authenticity will inspire others to be comfortable with who they are.  

I study those I admire, their behaviours and traits ... and found that they are:

• present ~ here = now ... enjoy this very moment, which is all we truly have.
• open ... receptive and encouraging ... willing to hear what others have to say
• good listeners ... instead of reacting immediate they take a moment to absorb what they hear
• flexible ... break out of their comfort zones and compromise
• focus on the positive ... bring good energy and focus on blessings
• interested and interesting ... believe that where ever they are and whatever they are doing, something interesting is going on.
• 
  

So would you like you if you met you?

Assessing ways to become more enjoyable breeds more joy in our lives.  We attract the same type of people and events while staying true to ourselves ... supporting you being the kind of person you’d like if you met you.

" Knowing ... "

Preachers at the church knowing, we still get by ...

Well here's a formal introduction

Something to make you ponder

Well everybody play dumb, but there's some that succumb

And fall victim, I will overcome any hurdle or obstacle that's in my path ...

Your stomach is balled in a knot, you got that phat purse ...

Destroyed by the need to indulge and enjoy the finer things in life right? ...

Even though things started falling apart ...

Every action has a positive and equal reaction

Therefore everything that goes around comes around in that fashion

You thought you was slick the way you hit me for that lick

But you slipped now I'm getting in your ...

~ Outkast ~ Knowing ~

***

I know that lately my blogs have had perhaps not a happy-go-lucky tone.  I apologize as my intentions are never to be a drag ... my blog is an outlet, a place were I choose to be vulnerable and truly express what is going on inside.  And I came to a big realization tonight.  I have been looking for a guarantee if you will.  I want reassurance and confirmation.  And the reality is that what I am looking for, I will never find.  

As Russell and I eat our dinner on our front porch tonight, I acknowledged how truly grateful I was for the moment.  He is my sounding board and always provides space for me to express myself.  Tonight I shared with him how I am struggling with the fear of the unknown ... how I need to shift into curiosity instead because I know it is a far more enjoyable place to be ... flashback to the other night ... Mary Poppins singing Anything is Possible ...

Probably the most interesting part that i want to share here right now is after a great deal of pondering, I can now conclude that there is no way we can predict our future only by looking our condition that we're in at the moment.  Sorry, perhaps not too insightful for those that already get it ... for the rest of us, it just takes a wee bit of time, you know, another aha! moment.

There is no guarantee in life.  All we can do and need to do is just “do the best in what we are in right now”.  We are on a journey of life, an unstable moment where everything is on the process to be shaped.  Things can and do change instantly ... 

And for those that know me, know that my faith has become so strong.  Maybe this is what happens when you diagnosed with cancer, you feel the need to be closer to God.  Whatever your spirituality, I recommend you look to Him to guide you to exactly what you need right now ...  and work to believe that He will.  

I ask Him to give me a vision to keep hope alive.  I know He has my back.  

People say life is short ... I say it is unpredictable and a risk.  As soon as we are born, we are at risk for well pretty much everything.  So instead of fearing as to what is going to happen next, I am really trying to just enjoy it.  Because no matter how much you think you are prepared for the future ... you never truly are.  You don’t know what curve ball is coming .. but here is the thing, they are ALWAYS coming, because that is what life is all about.

" Protect Yourself ... "

I protect my imagination while I'm looking at my self

I don't follow the signs to the outskirts of my life

I protect my imagination behind those giant doors of steel

I'll drive to my visions on a Mainstreet of this life

Don't dream your life, live your own dream

'Cause that what you want, is what you feel

Do what you want, live up your life

it takes little time but you'll be surprised

Just take a chance, see what you get

feelings they don't know, which you ever had

~ Warchild ~ Protect Yourself ~

***

When we open our minds, we can be curious instead of judgemental.  When we open our hearts, we can be compassionate instead of cynical.  When we open our will, we can relax into the unknown instead of being fearful.  Yet, when we try to live our lives in this manner, we may not be prepared when others use our ability to feel and emotionally manipulate us.  I know this sounds a bit off but the reality is this happens, to all of us, and it is important to recognize it and learn to protect yourself.

The wonderful thing is that as human beings we are wired to feel empathy ... when someone displays an emotional reaction, our instincts are to incorporate the emotional reaction in forming opinions and decisions.  This seems natural.  Yet, we have all come into contact with someone who pays attention to our emotional reactions and uses it for manipulation.  

Emotional manipulation ... it is when someone uses their emotional react to control or dominate.  

This doesn’t mean you need to view everyone as emotional manipulators.  Just learn to recognize that some people have such an inflated concept of their own importance that they have no issues to do what it takes.   

It is important to recognize these emotional manipulators ... if someone is turning everything around on you, pretending to help, blatantly lying to you, taking you on a guilt trip, telling you that you’ll be worse off without them, always blaming others and draining all your positive energy.  Chalk it up to emotional immaturity ... either way, you do need to protect yourself.

How?  Protect yourself by confronting the other person who has ignored your initial feelings.  Protect yourself by not giving into unfair criticisms.  Protect yourself by journalling or blogging to validate yourself.  Protect yourself by not allowing someone to make you feel sorry for something which you should not feel sorry about.  

Massive life lesson here for me ... my feelings matter and it is not up to someone to validate them, it is up to me.

I continue to live my live with an open heart ... something I had to learn to do by trusting myself ... knowing what is right for me, standing by my truth, with no intention to hurt myself or others around me.  But I will admit there is one condition ... I have learned to protect myself without losing faith in humanity, by practicing kindness and compassion in hopes it will be reciprocated.

" Deep ... "

On the edge

Of a know-nothin' town

Feelin' quite superior

The aged come

To the sky above

He just ain't nothin'

But he's got a great view...

Can't touch the bottom

In too deep

~ Pearl Jam ~ Deep ~

***

Have you ever been told you are “too sensitive”?  Have you ever heard someone equate your feelings to an ocean of emotions?  I have ... many times, along with “you take things too personally are are too emotional”.  And even though I use to think of it as a flaw, now I know it is an advantage. 

Deep feelings, straddled between the area of conscious and subconscious.  Think of them as emotional residue coming up at any time and affecting you, your thoughts, your judgement, and your relationships.  Often we are unaware how our emotional residue impacts our thoughts, decisions and behaviours.   

You see many of our poor reactions to situations, circumstances and communications stem from the deep areas within us that we are not necessarily consciously aware of.  And it is the emotions down deep that we don’t see ... that hinder us the most and effect how we treat others.

In my past, I had the tendency to think that things were not going to get better because I had memories, associated feelings and thoughts that said things are just not going to work out.  I would feel as if what was happening is just more of the same old ways, and that would give me the same old outcomes as they always had.  My past memories contributed to my feelings of defeat and doubt before anything had happened ... because I didn’t see the bubble ... those old feelings that came up in the midst of my opportunity.  

Prepared to deal with it, I started to uncover the underlying deep feelings of hurt.  For a long time, it was buried down deep and I wanted to leave it there.  Yet similar to a bubble that comes up to the surface of the water, I needed to recognize and understand the source of the feeling before I let it burst. 

Now I use my "advantageous flaw" and look at where those feelings come from, why those feelings are still there, and then how I can let them go.  I recognize they come from some area of disappointment where something didn’t work out the way I had hoped for.  For me, I now realize that no matter how screwed over I feel, life is not a broken record playing the same outcome every time ... it’s only my feelings and associated thoughts that are playing that repeated outcome.   

True healing comes at the source or root of the pain.  And for me, I am willing to open up to my personal constraints with humility.  Deep feelings of hurt are within us, whether you see them or not ... yet how they are affecting you is for you and your honest self to deal.

" Sabotage ... "

I can't stand rocking when I'm in here

'Cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear ...

'Cause what you see you might not get

And we can bet, so don't you get souped yet

You're scheming on a thing that's a mirage

I'm trying to tell you now, it's sabotage ...

Why

Our backs are now against the wall?

Listen all y'all, it's a sabotage

~ Beastie Boys ~ Sabotage ~

***

Do you believe that you deserve good things, happy times, true friends and lasting happiness?  If you truly don’t believe this, you could be sabotaging your life.  

Self-sabotage ... comes from years of human conditioning.  

You sabotage yourself every time you do something that you don’t really want to do, that doesn’t inspire, because you are denying the essence of who you are ... you are denying your true self.  Think about the last time you did something out of obligation rather than joy.  You reinforced to yourself that you don’t deserve to choose how you spend your time.  If you continue to say “yes” when you really mean “no”, you start to lose yourself, you demise your spirit, your creativity and your right to live a life that is fulfilling.  When you do what you want, you emit a different energy, attracting different experiences in your life.

You sabotage yourself every time you alter the truth, make excuses and lie to yourself.   When you think you deserve less, feel miserable and powerless to change your life, you are altering your truth.  You modify your situation because you are not ready to face reality.  You lie because you don't want to hurt others.  But even though the truth may seem harsh, it will set you free once you release it ... regardless as to how unpopular it may be.   When you consciously choose to live a more fulfilling life, instead of shades of truth, you start to carve out your own style, and your own way.

Sadly it is easier to deny who you are, to create false truths and to excuse your choices and behaviour.  Society favours those that follow status quo, rather than making their own choices.  

Self-sabotage stems from FEAR.  Some of us are scared and others have the courage to face it head on, move past it and forward onto a life deserved.  Check in and see where you are and how that's working for you.  Feed your dreams and starve your doubts ... have the courage to recognize your sabotaging behaviour.  Choose to believe in yourself ... accept yourself just as you are and stop comparing yourself to others.  Value your unique qualities, celebrate them because the difference between ordinary and "extra" ordinary is YOU.

" Cry ... "

" Somebody shakes when the wind blows

Somebody's missing a friend, hold on

Somebody's lacking a hero

And they have not a clue

When it's all gonna end

You can change the world (I can't do it by myself)

You can touch the sky (Gonna take somebody's help)

You're the chosen one (I'm gonna need some kind of sign)

If we all cry at the same time tonight "

~ Michael Jackson ~ Cry ~

***

Somedays is it hard to stay positive, focused.  Somedays is it hard to stay strong, have faith and know your truth.  Somedays you just feel awful, question your path and just want to cry.  Yes, I have had those days ... and where do they come from, what were my triggers .... well, I have had someone tell me that my spirits are not as high as they use to be.  I have had someone tell me that I put on weight.  I have had someone tell me that I hope I finally decide to do the right thing.  I have had the realization that a close friendship of mine as changed.  Yes I have had a few of those days.  On the flip side, I have also had people tell me ... don’t be negative.  But sometimes it is just difficult.  And most of my blogs are about attitude, strength and courage.  Yet I have to realize that I am human, normal and I have the same fears and doubts that everyone else does.  And that is okay ... it is also okay to cry, and cry is exactly what I did ... 

The bright side is that there are a great deal of healing benefits of crying.  When we cry, we release negative emotions in a natural way for our bodies to cope with unwanted feelings of distress or fear.  Yet there are several other benefits to our mental and physical health.  

Crying can lower our stress levels by removing some chemicals and hormones that are built up, similar to sweating when exercising.  And the opposite can happen if we hold back tears ... we can increase our stress levels which as we know can lead to numerous other health issues.

Crying is an emotional response so when we shed tears, our endocrine system releases endorphins, or feel-good hormones, that stabilize the mood ... some may identify with “I just needed a good cry”.  When we cry, we give our bodies the ability to stabilize and become balanced again.  

“Tears are natural antibacterial and antiviral solutions that fight germs we get in our eyes.  The fluid lysozyme in tears is capable of killing up to 95% of all bacteria in a matter of minutes”.  So crying can help prevent you from getting sick.

Not all tears are the same.  Tears that are formed out of emotional distress or grief have more toxic byproducts in them than tears of irritation.  So emotional tears, made from stress, are capable of washing away wastes and toxins, therefore detoxifying our bodies.

Crying moisten our eyes and prevent dehydration of membranes surrounding our eyeballs.  We need tears as they enable us to see, they provide the lubrication we need for healthy eyesight.

Crying has calming effects such as slowing of breath.  During the cry, you may have increased heart rate and sweating, however the calming effects usually last longer afterwards ... therefore remembering the pleasant side of a “good cry”.  

So remember, it’s your party and you can cry if you want to .... as crying does open up our hearts ... providing a safe space for clarity and clearing ... giving allowance to practice forgiveness and self-forgiveness.  And an opportunity to bring our mind, body and soul back in balance.

“Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened “ Dr. Seuss