What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma ...
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practise what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek ...
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love
~ Black Eyed Peas ~ Where Is The Love? ~
Why do we spend so much of our life wasting time on people that don’t deserve our energy? You know the moments when we feel completely exhausted, drained and shut down.
Energy grows or diminishes based on what you are doing and who you surround yourself with. There are people, places and things that make us feel like we are building our energy banks, rejuvenate us and help us to do our best. And there are others that zap the energy right out of you. People are exceptional and our number one resources but not all people are helpful.
Understanding how people affect you means that you can do a better job matching what you need to what your energy requires. Sometimes we need to be more judicious about reducing time with people who don't match our energy.
It’s not about whether or not the person is a good or bad person …
it’s about whether or not they are the right energy type for you ...
Defining personality types helps to understand why we leave feeling out of sorts from some interactions and inspired by others. It has helped me decide what to do and who I choose to spend time with in the future.
do you identify with one?
- Buzzers. These are excited electrons. People who are so thrilled to be around other people and in the world, talking with them is like getting a burst of inspiration. They can be your muses, your inspirations, your
- Happys. Generally positive, seem to be happy almost all the time. People you would skip with, laugh with, enjoy being with. They aren’t as physically excited as the Buzzers, but they are generally happy and have a positive attitude about most things.
- Wonder Listeners. People who can hear what you are saying without you saying it; who seem to listen to you with both their bodies and their ears, and who exude a positive radiance without necessarily saying or doing anything, are your Wonder Listeners.
- Coaches and Mentors. These are people who seem to have endless stores of hope and inspiration designed just for you. People who are genuinely interested in what you have to offer and how you are doing. The coaches and mentors are usually a check-in, once a week or once a month, and they offer their advice and wisdom to you in their interactions.
The Middle Balance (Balancers and Grounders)
- Quiet Stabilizers. People who are refreshing, rejuvenating, and inspiring without being showy or ostentatious. Someone you can sit quietly in a park with, without talking very much, and leave happier. These people don’t toot their own horn, and likely don’t know how cool they are. Yet being around them is satiating, relaxing, restorative.
- Feedbacks. People who tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. These people can be mistakenly labeled as negatives, but they still have your best interests in heart and are actually looking out for you in the long run. Keep them around, but note the times when you aren’t up for receiving feedback and need encouragement instead – and seek them out when you need smart advice.
- The Strugglers and Changers. There are people who are struggling, working towards change, and are sometimes frustrated or caught in-betweens. They are on their way towards becoming the person they want to be, and conversations with them are raw, open, inspiring, hard, and generally variable.
- The Repetitives and Non-Changers. People who are stuck in a problem that you’ve listened to for years. Their complaints are the same, over and over again, and they don’t bring anything new to the table. Each time, it feels like you’re stuck in déjà-vu, because you’re still talking about how to deal with their terrible relationships, bad work situation, or general malaise. To deal with these types, tell them, politely and firmly, that you don’t want to talk about their ____ problem anymore. “I appreciate all the struggles you are having with your job situation, but I’d like to not talk about that anymore. I know you are working hard on it. Let’s focus and talk about new things when we meet.”
- The Fakes. There are people who masquerade as positives – the words they use are cheery, they tell you what they think you want to hear; they quote inspirational things and bits. But the substance is not there. And, more importantly, you are not rejuvenated by the words or the ideas in the way you are around Quiet Wonders or Listeners or Buzzers. Some people are obviously fake; others not so obviously. At the end of the day, what’s most important is how you respond when you’re around them.
- Negative Influences. There are people who are wonderful, interesting, bright, and creative. And yet, for some reason, you are negatively influenced when you are around them. It’s not that they themselves are bad people – it’s that you make bad choices when you are around them. These are the trickiest people to identify, because there’s nothing about them that’s bad or easy to rationalize avoiding. It’s how they influence you that tells you about whether or not it’s a good person to have in your life.
- Toxic. These are the people who make you feel like shutting down when you’re around them. The people that drain you, that zap your energy, that are filled with negativity and cutting remarks. Most of us quickly eliminate these people from our lives after just a few interactions. They are easy to spot and identify. If you still have them around, ask yourself why? What do you benefit from being with a toxic person?”