" Like You ... "

Grieving for you,

I'm not grieving for you.

Nothing real love can't undo,

And though I may have lost my way,

All paths lead straight to you ...

You're not alone,

No matter what they told you, you're not alone.

I'll be right beside you forevermore ...

And as we lay in silent bliss,

I know you remember me.

~ Evanescence ~ Like You ~

***

Have you ever asked yourself, “would you like you if you met you?” ... or “what kind of vibe do you give off?” .. or “what am I giving back to those around me?”

You see we all want positive influences in our lives.  We search and search in hopes to forage friendships that inspire us ... yet often we forget to ask ourselves if we are positive influences.  

So back to the questions, can you honestly say you are happy with the answers?  Just think about the times you are just plain not fun to be around ... you are in a rush, stressed, or impatient.  Because who wants to be around someone who isn’t enjoying the moment.

Believe that if you want to be around a certain type of person, you need to be that type of person ...

At our very core we have certain attributes and characteristics that make us who we are ... so this isn’t about changing ourselves, it is about being true to ourselves.  Your authenticity will inspire others to be comfortable with who they are.  

I study those I admire, their behaviours and traits ... and found that they are:

• present ~ here = now ... enjoy this very moment, which is all we truly have.
• open ... receptive and encouraging ... willing to hear what others have to say
• good listeners ... instead of reacting immediate they take a moment to absorb what they hear
• flexible ... break out of their comfort zones and compromise
• focus on the positive ... bring good energy and focus on blessings
• interested and interesting ... believe that where ever they are and whatever they are doing, something interesting is going on.
• 
  

So would you like you if you met you?

Assessing ways to become more enjoyable breeds more joy in our lives.  We attract the same type of people and events while staying true to ourselves ... supporting you being the kind of person you’d like if you met you.

" Go On ... "

Just go on

There are still so many things

I wanna to say to you

But go on, Just go on

The moment that we start ...

What is the purpose of my life

If it doesn't ever do

With learning to let it go ...

You can do the same

It's the least you can do ...

So go on, Just go on ...

The moment that we start

~ Jack Johnson ~ Go On ~

When faced with life’s painful challenges, we often wonder if there is an end in sight.  Coping requires emotional endurance ... “the ability to keep an ordeal of indefinite length from sapping your emotional health”.  And sometimes you need someone to help you when saying “this too shall pass?” isn’t enough.  Thankfully, that help is present in my life from my friend Ally.

Our loving walks and talks cover a wide range of topics.  And recently we discussed the significance of emotional endurance ... how sometimes you lose the ability to take life's ups and downs in stride emotionally.  Staying strong for a long journey takes work and some days it is far from easy.  We talked about how it was important to focus on the positive, but it was okay to not always feel positive ...

Many can relate to emotional spectrum aka mood swings, ranging from curiosity to exhaustion, excitement to fear, light heartiness to sadness.  We all have “something” going on in our lives.  Every day is different, requires adjustments and quick thinking.  

So how do you cope and keep going on?  Here are some things I am now practicing ...

• write down every concern you have, sort them and focus your attention on those that matter most and those you can do something about
• give yourself credit for your efforts, especially when the ultimate goal is far away
• seek the good wherever you can find it and cultivate a habit of gratitude
• practice a sense of humor and focus on a positive future and the willingness to grow

You don’t have to pretend that you never have a bad day and you don’t have to be judged for having one.  Solutions are rarely immediate and perfect and sometimes we need to slog along in the swamp ... and just keep going on ...

We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough ~ Helen Keller 

" From This Moment ... "

From this moment as long as I live

I will love you, I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love

And you're the answer to my prayers from up above

All we need is just the two of us

My dreams came true because of you

~ Shaina Twain ~ From This Moment ~

***

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." 

~ Henry Van

Great quote and I only realized how each moment takes on a different dimension after being confronted with something like cancer.  When you are diagnosed with the disease and embark on a roller coaster of emotions, from anger to disbelief, you have the almost-stopped and dream like quality of time.

Living in the here and now ... the present.  Shifts you to live in the minute, moment by moment.  Since too much of our effort goes into wishing what was, or what is to be, we don't take the opportunity to live in the moment, whether it is good or bad. After all, time will never go faster or slower. It's only our perception of time that changes.

My current journey with breast cancer is primarily managed with a positive outlook on life.  Deep in my core, I always believed I would beat it ... with the odd doubt creeping in, I knew that this would not be the end of me.  And although not all my moments are nice ones, I realize that in those dark times and sad episodes, there has been opportunities.  There's the opportunity to really search inside my heart, mind and soul and sort through why this has happened ... leading to quite a personal transformation.  There's also the opportunity to make room for my loved ones and real friends ... enabling us to deepen our bond, cherish what we have, laugh, and rejoice.  

And then there's the most important opportunity of all. The realization that I can choose to appreciate every moment I have.  In between all that time I once wished away can be found so many small joys. There are little packages of happiness tucked away in all those little places that I wouldn’t have noticed if I was too intent on making my hurried way. And the realization of this is the gift that I, along with many other cancer survivors, share with you.  

There is a cliche saying “live life to the fullest.”  I’ve probably referred to this many times on this blog.  And although this saying is nice to state, it actually implies a deficiency in your life in the here and now.  How so?  Well we get caught up in what our lives could be or how much better our lives could be if only ... but my truth is living and knowing that my life is interesting just as it is right now.  

I often think If I were to view my life as a movie, I would be amazed of my internal struggles, my daily routines, my powerful potential, my interactions with others, my surroundings and my amazing growth.  My life is richer, I am stronger & I LOVE my life.

So celebrate these wonderful moments because every one of them is LIFE.  And as challenging as it may be, consciously choose to slow down, take in and appreciate them ... as we never know when it will be our last.

" Ahead Of The Curve ... "

I had shoes to fill

Walking barefoot now

Can't tell north from south

But no split hair's gonna get me down, no

I'm stayin' above the flat line

And I'm ahead of the curve

Take a piece of the sunshine with me

On a red-eye flight to another world

~ Ahead Of The Curve ~ Monsters of Folk ~

***

Life throws you so many curveballs when you least expect it.  One day can be almost perfect and another day leaving you wondering where you went wrong.  Wouldn’t it be nice if life had a pause button?

I will say it is easier to block out everything that makes the world not seem like the great, fantastic place I want it to be.  Hide from the bad stuff because I just want the good parts.  I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to take it on ... turns out, I am stronger than I gave myself credit for. 

The never-ending struggle of knowing things that I actually have control over and those of which I cannot change.  The wisdom part is what I struggle with the most ... knowing when to keep going and when to stop.  Knowing the difference is a life-long process.  And through these distressful moments, I strive to be braver than the times before, armed with courage.  I realize that there are times for me to just close my eyes and let everything go.   I need to let the Him have control ... believing that the greatests lessons are given to his best students.

Without a doubt, having a balanced relationship with Russell has allowed us to tackle most issues together.  We trust that each other is looking out for the other.  Individually we are strong, yet combined has made us a force ready for anything.  Every step in unison ... I realized that if we can deal with cancer, we can really deal with anything that comes our way. 

No matter what we may be going through, there is always beauty that surrounds us each and every day ... remembering to find it and take some time out to savor it, even briefly.  I believe this beauty has a positive energy and vibe that we can tap into when we need to... to recharge ourselves in the midst of a difficult situation and replace negativity with the healthier alternative.

Nothing is always perfect and I believe there is a greater plan in play.  I can be the one who decides how full or empty my glass is while life continues to throw these curveballs ... choosing to hit it right out of the park.

" Lessons ... "

Sweet memories
Flashing very quickly by
Reminding me
And giving me a reason why
I know that
My goal is more than a thought
I'll be there
When I teach what I've been taught
And I've been taught...

~ Rush ~ Lessons ~

***

Instead of asking what I have learned about blogging, I ask what has blogging taught me about life.  In some cases, confirmation of what I already knew, and in others, something helpful to share with those that follow.  

Here are some thoughts ...

Inspiration happens ... you cannot wait to become inspired.  Sometimes you have to work, think and come up with ideas.  And not all of them will be stellar, some will just suck.  Just know somewhere along the journey, it will happen.

Walk the talk ... people talk a lot about what they are going to do, but actions speak louder than words.  I try not to get stuck in analysis mode as then I get stuck in my head.  We don’t know much until we do and get some real experience ... so do more, learn from your failures and try again.

Learn from those who can teach ... learning from people who have real experience has helped me improve quickly and avoid wasting time.  My favourite blogs motivate me to explore and become informed.

Focus on what is important ... when you cut out the less important stuff you mind clears up.  You become more focused, allowing light to shine.  From experience, when I let go of the negative in my life, the positive came flooding in.  Con mucho aprecio y amor!

You get what you give ... exchanging positive feelings and giving some kind of value to each other is the key.  Respect, compassion and kindness is contagious ... remember, karma is a bitch if you are.

External validation is overrated ... there are times when I have received awesome feedback via comments, email, twitter and Facebook.  So blessed, yet I realized that when there is none of that, it didn't matter because I have created inner validation of myself.  Sometimes you need to be your own hero.

Don’t worry about others opinions ... no one has walked in my shoes, only I have.  So when I blog, it is from my heart and I really try not to let other people’s judgement get in the way.  You can’t never please everyone, so focus on what you think is right and just getting approval from yourself.

" I Hold No Grudge ... "

Yes I’m the kind of people

You can step on for a little while

But when I call it quits

Baby that’s it

I’m the kind of people

You can hurt once in a while

But crawling just ain’t my style

I hold no grudge

Deep inside me there’s no regrets

But a gal who’s been forgotten may forgive

But never once forget

~ Nina Simone ~ I Hold No Grudge ~

***

Grudges ... defined as “resentment strong enough to justify retailiation”.  Personal injustice ignites resentment in our hearts, which in turns into a grudge.  And everyone has, at some time or other, been hurt deeply by someone, so this is a natural human reaction  Yet when we want revenge instead of focusing on what we need to solve the problem, we  halt our healing.  And why do we want revenge?  Because we have developed bitterness about that person or situation.

You see when someone hurts you, your instant reaction is to hurt them back.  Our very nature spurs us to settle the score, to get even.  And the person who hurts us might not even know how angry and bitter we feel ... these emotions continue to aggravate at their supposed indifference.  Yet at all health levels the only one we hurt is ourselves.

Holding a grudge will only devour you from the inside out because YOU refuse to forgive the one who hurt you.  The price to pay is too high because life keeps running on rewind.  We allow ourselves to be handcuffed to the negative past, causing us to irrationally dwell, and allowing us to find blame for our present failures.

So how do you even begin to let go?  Start by altering how you view the situation.  You can’t change what happened, but you can change our attitude about it and reduce the power it has over you.  Of course you cannot fully erase the memory banks of your mind but you do have the power to refuse to think on past injustices, once forgiven. 

Ask yourself : At present, what purpose is holding onto that grudge serving you? 

It has probably poked holes in your energy bucket as fatigue is the faithful companion of a grudge.  You see we waste so much unconscious energy maintaining our grudge.  Instead we can choose to release it and welcome a new surge of  positive emotional and physical energy.  

Grudges are the domain of petty people, not YOU.  Why spend another moment being hung up on hate while present on earth.  Make the decision to kick it out of your life  ... the most it will cost you is happiness in the long run.

"Patience ..."

"...little patience, mmm yeah, ooh yeah, 
I need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... ence, yeah
I've been walking the streets at night
Just trying to get it right ... 
Need some patience, yeah

I ain't got time for the pain ..."

~Guns N' Roses ~ Patience ~

***

Patience.  An interesting word.  Used in many ways.  Taught from a young age ... we must be patient.  But really it has never been easy to be patient, and probably even harder now than ever.  I can attest to that, currently in a therapy that is recommended for a minimum of 18 months or 78 weeks ... we are on week 34, and always counting...

You see in a world where messages can be sent across the globe instantly, seemingly everything is available with a few clicks of the mouse.  It's very hard not to expect instant satisfaction.  But patience remains a valuable tool in our lives.  We don't always get instant gratification, and some of the best things in life require years of hard work and waiting.  And fortunately, "patience is a virtue" that can be cultivated and nurtured.  Yeah right?  how many times have you heard "I have no patience", or "I just want it now" ... well it is possible.  But it takes time to fulfill this goal ... isn't that ironic?  ... Yet, once you have conquered this, it will become second nature.  And the bonus is that you won't be disappointed at what life can offer you with some spare time.  You will be surprised by how boring, restless and lagging hours can evolve into a passing time of relaxation and peace of mind.

Curious?  yes!  read on ...

(1) Ask why you are in such a hurry?  It appears that we tend to lose our patience when we are multitasking or on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos.  If you are stretching yourself too thin, re-do your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation.  Try to do your tasks one at a time, and delegate your responsibilities to share the load. 

(2) Try to recognize the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience.  Impatience is like a slow growth, it creeps up on you.  And if you feel anxious, worried or unhappy you may not even realize the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience.  Raise your awareness ... which events, people, phrases or circumstances trigger you.  At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting.  But remember to ask yourself, whose realities are these?

(3) Overcome bouts of impatience.  Yes, one of the hardest things to do, but by developing patience, your outlook and attitude about life shifts.  Start by learning how to relax when you feel impatient.  Take a few deep breaths and clear your mind.  Concentrate on breathing and you'll start to get your bearings.

(4) If it is out of your control, let go.  Just let it go.  Easier said than done but it's the only healthy thing you can do.  Practice makes perfect and you will gradually develop the strength to remain patient in the most difficult situations.

(5) Mental note for self ... things take time.  Getting things done now and not wasting time doesn't apply to every situation.  Some things just can't be rushed.  I realize that almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you're impatient, you're more likely to give up on relationships, goals and other things that are important to you.  

(6) Expect the unexpected.  Ah yes, this has definitely been my journey.  I had plans and last I checked, they didn't include battling cancer.  Life lesson, things don't always work out as planned.  I accept the twist and turns in life ... gracefully.  And I keep my expectations realistic.  This not only applies to my current situation, but also to the behaviour within and around me.

(7) Remember what matters most.  Focusing on what matters most in this life fuels patience.  Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most.  Take time to remember any one of these items can reduce our tendency to want something different right now.

(8) Have a positive outlook on life.  Remember that you will eventually get what you want.  Everything works out in the end, for a Higher Purpose.  Yes, this requires maturity and patience to understand and accept.  If you work hard at something, this may be the truth, but most of the time you have to be patient to get what you want.  Our destinations are constantly moving so remember that Life is a journey to be savoured each step of the way.

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