Friday, October 31, 2014

" This Is Hallowe'en ... "

"Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange

Come with us and you will see
This our town of Halloween

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night

This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song"

~ Marilyn Manson ~ This Is Halloween ~

Halloween ~ Hallowe’en ~ All Hallows’ Eve ~ All Saints’ Eve ... 
celebrated every 31 of October.

This hallowed evening dates back to ~ 1745, a Celtic festival, marking the end of the harvest season in Gaelic culture.  The ancient Gaels believed that boundaries between the worlds of the living and the dead overlapped and the deceased would come back to life and cause havoc, such as sickness or damaged crops, on Halloween.  

Although, scholars were still divided on the roots of origin, whether Christian or Pagan, during the ancient times, people wore masks and costumes in an attempt to mimic or appease evil spirits.  In current times, the media has popularized the festival, irrespective of region.  It is more about candy and costumes and less and less about anything else ...

Yet the ancient Celtic tribes, worshiped nature and believed in the spirit world.  The Sun, their chief god, was the focus of two festivals ~ Beltane, marking the beginning of summer and Samhain or Saman, marking the start of winter.  The end of summer, Samhain aka the lord of death, becomes powerful over the Sun god.  Therefore, on October 31, Samhain assembles all the evil spirits who had died the previous year and allows them a return home to visit the living.

The day after Halloween, the night of all fires occurs near large stone circles, similar to the one in Stonehenge, England.  The priests offer sacrifices to Samhain to ensure that the sun returned after the winter.  All fires, except the sacrificial one to Samhain, were extinguished.  Called the Vigil of Samhain, the embers from this fire would be used to light the fire in each household.

To appease demons, offerings of food and nuts were provided, believing if satisfied with the treat, he demon would not trick or cast an evil spell on the person ... hence the origin of present day trick OR treat.  

Legends have it that people would wear masks or other disguises to darken their faces, trying to pass unnoticed by the spirits ... 

Ironic how modern day has man wearing masks daily to disguise their true self, taking Halloween to a whole new level ...  Happy Hallowe’en !!!

Monday, October 27, 2014

" Sorry ... "

“ I've heard it all before ...

I don't want to hear, I don't want to know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself ...

Save your words because you've gone too far
I've listened to your lies and all your stories ...

Don't explain yourself because talk is cheap
Forgive me... “

~ Madonna ~ Sorry ~

I’ve had people in my life that tend to apologize too much.  And sadly, their expression didn’t mean much near the end of our connection.  Mainly because they didn’t really mean it ... hence the compulsive apologies.

And perhaps we have all been there at some point ... like when we apologize for having our own opinion, or disagreeing with others, or even pointing out something that might disappoint others.  But here is the thing ... when you constantly apologize, your viewpoint is considerably less effective.  Because you seem to be sorry for pretty much everything, and maybe just maybe, use it as an excuse for your behavior ... 

So why do “we” apologize for so much in our lives?  

Well, there is a lot of integrity in a person who takes responsibility, understands and accepts their role, and has genuine remorse ... basically owning up to mistakes.  
A legitimate use of the phrase “I’m sorry”.  

But most of us apologize for being ourselves.  We apologize for things that are out of our control or not meeting someone else’s expectations.  We find ourselves apologizing for disappointment someone in some way.  We find ourselves apologizing out of FEAR.  Because we don’t want to someone to be angry or upset with us.  

It is a means of giving away your power in hopes of buying safety and approval ...

Apologizing is a social convention that keeps our interactions “polite” and defuses tension, which can be super helpful.  So observe yourself each time you say it, without judgement, and watch how often you depend on it.  

I have found that checking in with my emotions just prior to saying sorry, guides me towards insight as to why I may rely on these words.  The words we use and the actions we behave have impact and meaning ... simply put, say what you mean and mean what you say.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

" Self-Righteous ... "

“ Everyone is so self righteous
Where have you sinners gone?
All you sinners
What's ours is ours
And we're all alone

It's just a shower
And then I feel you breathe
And I let go of the hours
And I feel your skin

Again and again
I feel the hours
Sliding by
Get up on your own now
Way up all alone now “

~ Third Eye Blind ~ Self Righteous ~

Filled with indignation about the behaviour of others ... Worked up, frustrated and angry ... so what’s this all about?  ... Self-righteous.

When you are filled with or show conviction of being morally superior or more righteous than others ... also known as smug ... you are being self-righteous, plain and simple.  You don’t agree, fair enough ... but it is about feeling superior to someone else.  And if you think that you are NOT one of those people ... think back to the last time you were driving.  Yes, that is righteous indignation.  I mean who the hell do they think they are to cut ME off.  What a loser, and we must honk our horn loud and long so that others can see how bad they really are.  Yes, that is righteous indignation.

So if you are still unsure if someone or YOU are sitting in self-righteous indignation, check your dialogue.  Are you hearing words like right, fair or should?  And if we are truly honest, we recognize that makes people with low self esteem feel good.  Because there is a feeling of being RIGHT.  By pointing out the errors of someone else, we are attempting to position ourselves as better than them.  

Honesty is one thing, self-righteousness is another ... 
regardless, we can always be kind

When you think your life sucks, you are the most susceptible to this behaviour because by finding someone you believe to be less than or worse than ourselves and condemning them, you manage to feel some sort of superiority.  You become judge and jury.  Hence, the first step is to recognize that you possess a guilty pattern of self-righteousness.  The next step is to minimize it or eliminate it ... and here as some thoughts ...

  • rather than deciding on what people should be doing, look at what they are doing and decide how to react AKA Accept What IS
  • examine your motives and ask why? AKA are you projecting?
  • tap into your feelings and examine the effects it has on your present life AKA how much energy and time will you dedicate to this?

It is hard to admit that you may have identify with this.  And you don't have to, out loud that is.  But there is also realization that self-righteousness comes at a high cost because if you can only bring yourself up by putting others down, there is some soul searching required.  Deep within, your higher self, spirit, knows better ...

The hardest people to reach with the love of God are not the bad people ... they know they are bad ... they have no defense ... the hardest ones to win for God are the self-righteous people ~ Charles L Allen

Thursday, October 16, 2014

" Fear ... "

No sleep today
Can't even rest when the sun's down
No time, there's not enough
And nobody's watching me now

When we were children we'd play
Out in the streets just dipped in fate
When we were children we'd say
That we don't know the meaning of

Fear, fear, fear
Fear, fear, fear

We don't know the meaning of
Wish I didn't know the meaning of

~ One Republic~ Fear ~

Robert Albert Bloch wrote, anxiety is thin stream of fear trickling through the mind ... if encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.  

This probably resonates with everyone, IF they are really honest with themselves.  Because we all have anxiety about the one thing that will happen to every single one of us ... DEATH.  

And there is something called death anxiety with four types of fear associated with death ... fear of pain, fear of the unknown, fear of non existence and fear of eternal punishment.  But don’t feel so bad because the fear of death is very natural because we are born to stay alive.  The survival instinct within us is coded into our DNA.  We always want “more time”.  We feel we are owed more, we are getting ripped off, life isn’t fair, how can this be happening, but I am a good person ...

And basically we really want to keep the party going ... life is good, or life is great, or life is as it is, pain et al ... but we want more of it.  Our thoughts ... People need you.  You are responsible for so much.  How will they go on without you.  Get the idea? ... there is so much attachment to what we have in our lives and how we play in the story.  WE are the central part in our story.  And so we figure, how will life go on without us? ... reality shows us it always does.  

our fear of death feels like the end of us and the end of all we know ... 

The truth is we are energy and energy can never die.  It only transitions, transforms, and transcends towards another.  Life is equally valuable and fleeting.  It comes to be then replenishes itself by destroying what came before it.  

I hear a great deal about how to live fearlessly and I often wondered what that really meant.  And now slowly it is revealing itself because to live in fear is to live a dying life.  

Truly being here, now and living in the moment allows you to make note of your mortality, not for the sake of celebration but for the sake of gratitude.  Serving as a reminder of why there is joy, available in every moment to you us ... if we choose to access it.  

Ups and downs, ebbs and flows, chaos and calm ... the heartbeat of life.  Giving us the opportunity all while living with “something”, fully, wholly, and wisely in the present.  Enjoying the experience, rather than controlling it and killing the moment.  The moment when added to the next, makes time, into a lifetime worth living.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

" Exit ... "

"You know he got the cure
You know he went astray
He used to stay awake
To drive the dreams he had away
He wanted to believe
In the hands of love

He felt the healing
Healing, healing
Healing hands of love
Like the stars shiny shiny
From above ...

The hands of love"

~ U2 ~ Exit ~

There is plenty of information out there on how to have an exit strategy for business.  But what about an exit strategy, personally?  And is does one exist ... always.

Things go wrong, not as planned, things are out of control, things are chaotic, things are unmanageable ... and whats our exit?  We BLAME ... others so that we don’t take responsibility for what is, or ourselves and stew in the guilt and shame of what is.

But what if we just let what is be ... what is?  Rather than blame, avoid, distort, or deny what is ... when we actually ACCEPT what is, we have a real chance.  A real chance to find out ... why this is happening to me.  The secret is out though ... it isn’t happening to you, it is happening through you.  If you choose to believe, what occurs “out there”, actually occurs within first.  

But it is uncomfortable, so we reach for something to soothe us, to take care of us, to take the pain away.  And it keeps coming back.  So rather than asking why this is happening to me, ask what am I to learn from this experience.  Yeah, difficult in the midst of pain ... but possible.  Many spiritual teachers have proven this very point.

The journey to enlightenment is the road with no exits ...

Life is full of duality ... black and white, sad and happy, night and day, evil and good ... and this duality is what creates gratitude for what is.  We cannot experience one without the other.  Hence if we applied our exit strategy every time we experience what we perceive as bad, then can we truly enjoy what we perceive as good?  We don’t what conflict, we don’t want aggression ... we want peace, but yet again, one is described by the other ... duality.

Make friends with the uncomfortable pain you’ve been avoiding ...

Eventually, the more we begin to settle into these discomfort feelings, the more we realize the basic goodness that resides in all of us.  We allow ourselves to sit with rage and sorrow because we know that peace and happiness are just as available to us ... it’s a choice, always.

We can learn to appreciate what is ... naturally.  Being fearless means you are not afraid or need to flight ... it’s about letting the world touch your heart because you are willing to open up without resistance ... you are truly willing to experience life rather than looking for the nearest exit.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

" Tolerate ... "

Try to see the way around you
I can't find it
Try to take the path behind me
Can't rewind it
Stick your finger in my face and
I will break it
Leave me with an after taste
I live for it

I try

~ Staind ~ Tolerate ~ 

We’ve heard that life is to be enjoyed and appreciated, not endured.  Then why does it seem that most are just “tolerating” it?

You may understand what I mean.  It is hard to stay in a space of peace, calm and clarity when chaos is in your environment.  Blame it on work, marriage, school, family … we tend to go thru the motions.  We fake it till we make it … we tolerate. 

We tolerate behaviours in others and ourselves …

We tolerate people who are purposely difficult.  
choice … life gets easier when you remove those who make it difficult

We tolerate and attempt to live up to the expectations of others.
choice … do your best and create the time towards your true destiny

We tolerate and share our victim story
choice … life is too short to spend at war with yourself

We tolerate and romanticize and hold on to the past.
choice … you are not your past failures or habits, learn from your regrets and live beyond your fears

We tolerate our excuses.
choice … just do it and let your actions speak for themselves

We deserve to be happy and live a life that we are excited about.  So don’t let others make you forget that.  Just because someone else’s life is in chaos, that they are going thru the motions, and tolerating life … you don’t have to.  Reflect on the person you are capable of being … joyful moments of self-discovery, passionate endeavours, playing and standing up for what you believe in.  Strive for your time of living as a life fully living rather than just tolerating.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

" No Boundaries ... "

With every step you climb another mountain
With every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries...
There are no boundaries

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you ...

~ Adam Lambert ~ No Boundaries ~

Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, but it is the most effective way to claim your power.  Boundaries are tools you can use to overcome oppression and resist negativity.  

There is a connection between healthy boundaries and self-love.  Self-love enables us to have strong boundaries and then these exact boundaries enhance our lives.  A boundary can be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual and within these four domains, we have receptive boundaries which are self- protective and expressive boundaries which are respectful of others.  

So where does the negative reaction come from ... when others think you have alienated yourself, built a wall and “have changed or seem angry”.  You see whether your boundary seems like a high and thick wall built of strong boulders with no way in, or low and weak and easily to breech ... neither of these types of boundaries serves us well.  You can ensure that no one can get in but you can also isolate yourself from possible intimacy and support.  

... our first and last love is self love ...

Maybe personal boundaries have been given a bad rap.  Personally it is not about keeping others out, or being secretive.  It is about selectively choosing ... whom you have in your life and how you spend your moments.  When you have like-minded people in your life, the boundaries don’t seem to matter.  Why? because boundaries are as important to them as they are to you.  It seems pretty simple and it really is.  Making the most of THIS life is the secret.  Always, always, always the choice is yours.  And at times when you are unsure ... sit in stillness and listen to what you already know within ...

Friday, October 3, 2014

" The Hurry and The Harm ... "

“ But why are we so worried more about the hurry 
and less about the harm?
Always trying to conquer that which does not offer 
anything more than a broken heart.
Oh what a cost for love ...

Only want oh simple things, 
mourning the loss and what could have been.
When did I let go to all that I use to know 
this grave mistake has left an absence of hope.

I'm going back to the start “

~ City And Colour ~ The Hurry And The Harm ~

We all have it in us to behave in the ways we judge others.  That is why we judge, because we are judging a part of us.  A dark part of us that we keep hidden.  That no one sees.  But it is still there.  Lurking.  Waiting.  Wondering what will be the trigger. 

Recently, we watched a great movie, The Dhamma Brothers, in our weekly meditation crew.  Highly recommended, we had an opportunity to see transformations occur within people who had been written off by society.  Truly a powerful movie.

And it made me think ... is someone bad or did they behave badly?  Do we shame people in our lives, for what they did, by labelling them rather than the act?  There are always consequences to our actions as the actions themselves carry power.  What we do and say has this power, meaning and purpose.  

And sometimes ... we just make 
really. poor. choices.

But as it is being explained to me ... to harm another individual, you have to experience harm personally.  That is how you know the difference.  A terrorist has been terrorized.  A rapist has been violated.  It is learned, taught, shown, explained ... it is EXPERIENCED first ... that is if you believe this way.  Some don’t so whatever floats your boat.

Yet, we are judged very quickly on what we do wrong, rather than all the things we do right.  And many don’t want to believe or accept that someone can change.  I have heard many times ... “A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots” ... but isn't that because he was born with them on his skin?  Rather, we can change our behaviour ... how we respond, act and do.

We learn that nothing out “there” will make us happy ... chasing after something that doesn't last.  All is temporary.  All is impermanent.  And this can provide a sense of chaos or relief in your life ... depending on where you are in your journey.  

The bad news is, all things are temporary
The good news is, all things are temporary

Perspective is what will give you a chance to consider another possibility.  Another way because maybe your road can be less bumpy.  And really that is where I am at.  When cancer lives with you, there is a shit of stuff that comes to the surface.  And you have sift through, process and let it go.  In the beginning, you are venturing into unknown territory.  But when the fear of the unknown turns into curiosity for what is, the dark parts don’t seem as ... dark.  When the time is as it should be, a crack appears, which allows the light to shine out.  The light that was and always is within all of us.

If you took a selfie of your soul, 
you’d see how beautiful you really are ...

We forget to practice the most important practice ... loving kindness towards ourselves.  It is time to believe in yourself.  It is time to listen within.  
BE in stillness ... the answers are all there.