" Sharing Grief ... (from Daily OM)"

Opening to Receive Comfort 

♥ holding you in hearts today Jacki ♥

When we experience something that causes us to feel shock and sadness, we may feel the urge to withdraw from life. It may seem like remaining withdrawn will keep us protected from the world, but during these times it is important to reach out to those trusted and precious people who care about us the most. Even with our best information and reasoning, we never know when someone else’s experience or perspective can give us additional information that we need. The universe speaks to us through many channels, and when we open ourselves up to receive its messages, we also receive nurturing care from a loving partner in life’s journey.

Grief is part of the human experience, and sharing our vulnerability is what creates truly close bonds in our relationships. Opening ourselves up in this way gets to the core of our being, past all of our defenses and prejudices. When life seems to crack the outer shell of our world, we are both raw and fresh at the same time. It is then that we discover who is truly willing to walk with us through life. We also see that some of those sent to us may not be the ones we expected to see. Regardless, we learn to trust in the universe, in others, in our own strength and resilience, and in the wisdom of life itself.

Sharing grief allows us to ease our burden by letting someone else help carry it. This helps us process our own inner thoughts and feelings through the filter of a trusted and beloved someone. We may feel guilty or selfish, as if we are unloading on someone who has their own challenges. Although, if we think about it, we know we would do the same for them, and their protests would seem pointless. Remember that not sharing feelings with others denies them the opportunity to feel. We may be the messenger sent by the universe for their benefit, and it is on this mission that we have been sent. By sharing our hopes and fears, joys and pains with another person, we accept the universe’s gifts of wisdom and loving care. 

Grief is part of the human experience, 

and sharing our vulnerability helps create truly close bonds.

" Lessons ... "

Sweet memories
Flashing very quickly by
Reminding me
And giving me a reason why
I know that
My goal is more than a thought
I'll be there
When I teach what I've been taught
And I've been taught...

~ Rush ~ Lessons ~

***

Instead of asking what I have learned about blogging, I ask what has blogging taught me about life.  In some cases, confirmation of what I already knew, and in others, something helpful to share with those that follow.  

Here are some thoughts ...

Inspiration happens ... you cannot wait to become inspired.  Sometimes you have to work, think and come up with ideas.  And not all of them will be stellar, some will just suck.  Just know somewhere along the journey, it will happen.

Walk the talk ... people talk a lot about what they are going to do, but actions speak louder than words.  I try not to get stuck in analysis mode as then I get stuck in my head.  We don’t know much until we do and get some real experience ... so do more, learn from your failures and try again.

Learn from those who can teach ... learning from people who have real experience has helped me improve quickly and avoid wasting time.  My favourite blogs motivate me to explore and become informed.

Focus on what is important ... when you cut out the less important stuff you mind clears up.  You become more focused, allowing light to shine.  From experience, when I let go of the negative in my life, the positive came flooding in.  Con mucho aprecio y amor!

You get what you give ... exchanging positive feelings and giving some kind of value to each other is the key.  Respect, compassion and kindness is contagious ... remember, karma is a bitch if you are.

External validation is overrated ... there are times when I have received awesome feedback via comments, email, twitter and Facebook.  So blessed, yet I realized that when there is none of that, it didn't matter because I have created inner validation of myself.  Sometimes you need to be your own hero.

Don’t worry about others opinions ... no one has walked in my shoes, only I have.  So when I blog, it is from my heart and I really try not to let other people’s judgement get in the way.  You can’t never please everyone, so focus on what you think is right and just getting approval from yourself.

" Stitch by Stitch ... "

What you say, without words, 

resuscitates what was numb inside

So repair me, every thread of me, 

'cause you're bringing me back to life

I'll be okay, 'cause you heal me...

So put me back together now, stitch by stitch

Put me back together now, stitch by stitch

~ Javier Colon ~ Stitch by Stitch

***

Not a lot of people openly talk about their colons.  Yes you read that right colons.  But we all need and use it often ... and we cannot underestimate the importance of it.  Our digestion and our life depends on it ... and it all starts in our guts.

Your eating habits will determine how acidic your body is.  This acid leaves lots of residue in your colon.  These residues remain from days to months and produce fermentation, mold and bacteria ... a breeding ground for dis-ease.  The importance of an alkaline diet is crucial as this protects our colon.  When we eat the right food combinations we increase nutrient absorption and promote proper discharge of waste before it rots inside of us.  Yes I know, what a disgusting thought, but very real.

Gut check.  The length from your mouth to your anus is 30 feet long.  This “tube” plays a vital role on all health levels .. mind, body and spirit.  So food combinations can help in restoring the balance in your body.  For example, when you eat animal products, it can take up to three days for your gut to digest.  So that is three days of it sitting in your gut rotting away ...

The key is to find restoration of balance in your gut.  

What I have learned about food combinations is that carbs are digested with an alkaline condition in the stomach and protein is digested with an acid condition.  When combined, it can confuse the stomach.  So some general guidelines are protein and starch should not be combined.  To keep your gut happy, pair them with greens and veggies.

Enlist a naturopath, dietitian or nutritionist to help you.  Start by keeping a food diary.  Write down the date, time, and meal you eat.  As well, keep track of your mood, body changes, and bowel movements.  Remember, every body is unique, and your body will respond to modifications in its own way ... just be kind to your gut, as your colon will thank you for it.

" Instant Karma ... "

Well we all shine on

Like the moon and the stars and the sun

Well we all shine on

Every one, come on

Instant Karma's gonna get you

Gonna knock you off your feet

You better get yourself together darling

Join the human race

~ John Lennon ~ Instant Karma ~

***

Do you believe in Karma?  You know the concept of doing good and good will happen to you.  Some say that karma acts quickly and others that the karma you save up will determine who and even what you are in your next life ... that is if you believe in the next life.  Some even feel that the name “karma” is hippy and new age even though almost every belief system has a version of it with a different name.

Did you know that there is even a significant part of science that supports the concept of karma ... for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .... with every effect there is a cause.  Quantum mechanics states that everything is created from something and that energy merely passes from one form to another.  So, you cannot create something out of nothing ... an good and bad things don’t just happen, they have a cause and often the cause is something we have done.

Keeping this in mind, we may find ourselves asking ... do you think I asked to have these bad things happen to me?  Well, that depends.  Some things are a part of nature like the cycle of life and death.  But maybe we should ask ourselves what are we attracting in our lives.  I believe that every thought, action and emotion we have puts out an energy into the universe and acts like a magnet to whatever we are focused on.  A very powerful concept.

But it is naive to think about wanting something and sitting back and waiting for it to happen.  Instead, it is about your frame of mind which will determine what actions you will take to change the outcome of the situation.  We all know that if you are in a defeated frame of mind you will not be in a position to take the right steps towards your ideal goal.  Remember, “we may not often see them but the roots of an idea go deep and start growing before we see the leaves”. 

So this all sounds great so whats the catch?  Well the biggest downfall of those trying to live by karma is they expect self-gain, instantly.  We give up too quickly.  In the western world, we are so blessed with unbelievable riches.  Most of us have a roof over our heads, plenty of food and modern technology at our fingertips.  Believe that keeping focused and having patience will bring rewards.  Start by being grateful for what you have ... seeds don’t sprout instantly ... and neither does karma.  

The essence of karma is taking responsibility for your own actions.  Everything has a consequence.  And the hardest part of all of this is not letting other’s bad actions effect you.  One way to combat this is to trust that karma is working for you and them in just the same way ... 

how people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours  ॐ  wayne dyer

" Don't Panic ... "

We live in a beautiful world 

Yeah we do, Yeah we do 

We live in a beautiful world 

Oh all that I know 

There's nothing here to run from 

Cause here

Everybody here's got somebody to lean on

~ ColdPlay ~ Don’t Panic ~ 

***

Calm down, don’t panic, here, take this, it will make you feel better ... sound familiar?  The number of people suffering from panic attacks has increased exponentially.  There are various medications available for dealing with these and many choose to take them, only to suffer from damaging side effects.  What people don’t realize is that the answer for the question on how to deal with panic attacks without medication lies within themselves.  

Those of us that have experienced these types of attacks can attest to the enormous fear and worry surrounding them.  They can come on for no apparent cause, making it difficult to understand the triggers.  And we engage our built-in mechanism to sheild ourselves in any dangerous situation ... the “fight or flight” effect.  You see, when our body senses danger of any kind, it engages in survival mode.  Our stress and anxiety levels increase producing chemical changes in our body.  Our body feels it is in a high risk situation ... resulting in symptoms we call panic attacks.  

One of the simpliest natural techniques is deep breathing.  So start by shifting from the location of the panic attack to a more comfortable place.  Next, sit calmly, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing.  As this will increase your oxygen levels to your neural organs and assist in proper blood flow ... resulting in a tranquil and composed space.  Next try to meditate to re-focus your thinking.  The purpose is to bring inner peace within ourselves and the world around us by transforming our thoughts from negative to positive.  If we don't attend to dis ease the mind, we may find dis ease of the body. 

Practicing the above will place in a better position to not allow the panic attack to take you over.  To truly understand why you panic, you must know what triggers the episodes.  Remember, the answer lies within us.  Our mind has the power to overcome any situation and put us in control ... only if we want it.  

" Wake Me Up ... "

Wake me up when the skies are clearing,

When the water is still,

'cause I will not watch the ships sail away so,

Please say you will ...

Wake me up when it's over,

Wake me up when it's done,

If it were any other day,

This wouldn't get the best of me.

~ Norah Jones ~ Wake Me Up ~

***

Wake-up calls ... we continue to experience these series of moments ... you know various events in and out of your life where maybe they didn’t immediately affect your actions, but left enough of an imprint that when combined with others, help stimulate your change.  Eventually and hopefully we connect the dots on these, trust our gut, follow our instincts and make the right decisions.  

Looking back, there were a series of events, but I just wasn’t paying attention.  I didn't connect the dots.  I needed the universe to stop me in my tracks, shake the ground to take notice.  My "this is your life calling" wake up call truly rang when I heard three words ...“You have cancer”.  It was scary, distressing and even nauseating.  Yet I quickly realised that being in that space wouldn’t get me anywhere and I’d only remove my own power if I tried to sort my life out by wallowing in negativity.  

Cancer diagnosis is always serious yet I believe waiting and becoming very aware that what I was being offered was not necessarily my best option, as I weighed up the risks from side effects against little benefits.  After I got over the shock of the diagnosis, I made the most critical decision of my life.  I did this by educating myself ... and choosing to support my immune system, rather than destroy it.

I recently read that “cancer is the body’s suicide note, and it will carry it out unless the person changes”.  Don't wait for desperation to force your hand.  Take a person inventory and if you need to, change what is dysfunctional in your life NOW.  Be honest with yourself, you will know what needs to change ............ just don’t wait for that "note" to wake you up.

Remember, It is not what life presents to us which defines who we are but who we choose to be in relationship to it.

" I Hold No Grudge ... "

Yes I’m the kind of people

You can step on for a little while

But when I call it quits

Baby that’s it

I’m the kind of people

You can hurt once in a while

But crawling just ain’t my style

I hold no grudge

Deep inside me there’s no regrets

But a gal who’s been forgotten may forgive

But never once forget

~ Nina Simone ~ I Hold No Grudge ~

***

Grudges ... defined as “resentment strong enough to justify retailiation”.  Personal injustice ignites resentment in our hearts, which in turns into a grudge.  And everyone has, at some time or other, been hurt deeply by someone, so this is a natural human reaction  Yet when we want revenge instead of focusing on what we need to solve the problem, we  halt our healing.  And why do we want revenge?  Because we have developed bitterness about that person or situation.

You see when someone hurts you, your instant reaction is to hurt them back.  Our very nature spurs us to settle the score, to get even.  And the person who hurts us might not even know how angry and bitter we feel ... these emotions continue to aggravate at their supposed indifference.  Yet at all health levels the only one we hurt is ourselves.

Holding a grudge will only devour you from the inside out because YOU refuse to forgive the one who hurt you.  The price to pay is too high because life keeps running on rewind.  We allow ourselves to be handcuffed to the negative past, causing us to irrationally dwell, and allowing us to find blame for our present failures.

So how do you even begin to let go?  Start by altering how you view the situation.  You can’t change what happened, but you can change our attitude about it and reduce the power it has over you.  Of course you cannot fully erase the memory banks of your mind but you do have the power to refuse to think on past injustices, once forgiven. 

Ask yourself : At present, what purpose is holding onto that grudge serving you? 

It has probably poked holes in your energy bucket as fatigue is the faithful companion of a grudge.  You see we waste so much unconscious energy maintaining our grudge.  Instead we can choose to release it and welcome a new surge of  positive emotional and physical energy.  

Grudges are the domain of petty people, not YOU.  Why spend another moment being hung up on hate while present on earth.  Make the decision to kick it out of your life  ... the most it will cost you is happiness in the long run.

" My Valentine ... "

And i will love her for life

And i will never let a day go by

Without remembering the reasons why

She makes me certain

That i can fly ...

And so i do,

Without a care

I know that someday soon the sun is gonna shine

And she’ll be there

This love of mine

My valentine

~ Paul McCartney ~ My Valentine ~

***

Valentines Day ... a designated day to express our LOVE to our loved ones.  I awoke this morning to a loving presentation from Russell ... accompanying my ritual oatmeal & juice ... surrounded by heart shaped carrots ♥  

Yet waking up today, we both have a mix of emotions ... we are remembering our dear friend Paul Botica.  News of Paul's passing late yesterday left us in shock, disbelief and profound sadness.  This is not how it was suppose to be ... this is not how it was suppose to end.  Those of you who have been following my journey know of our connection with Jacki and Paul, understand our bond, and realize the impact this has had on our lives.  Paul had an enormous fight for the last few months, he experienced an incredible recovery ... as Jacki said "with his Kiwi warrior spirit".  So his passing feels sudden after recent downturn in his health.

So we are left with a difficult reminder as to how precious life is ... how unpredictable life can be ... and the need to express our LOVE NOW, this very instant.  The need for a day named Valentines is ineffectual when facing the loss of your soul mate, your LOVE, your companion.

The hype generated by Valentines Day, a tradition of courtly love flourished.  Expressed by presenting gifts, flowers, candies and sending greeting cards.  Symbols of heart-shaped outlines, pink and red, doves and the cute little winged guy named Cupid.  So instead of contributing to the $1 billion spent on chocolates today, tell your loved one how you feel with the simplest gestures: 

• Leave a “I LOVE you” note on their pillow, in the lunch bag, on their steering wheel 

• Write a LOVE poem in lipstick on the bathroom mirror

• Write a LOVE message on the grass in your yard (using a can of water-soluble, non-toxic aerosol paint) ... okay we have snow, so write a message with footsteps instead

• Request your “wedding song” on the radio and dedicate to them when they drive to work in the morning

• Write a LOVE letter expressing a memorable time in your relationship

• Leave a series of notes to meet you in a romantic place

• Leave a trail of paper hearts, each with LOVE messages from the front door to where ever you want it to lead

• Have a romantic picnic in your home with candles and decorate based on a meaningful theme to the both of you

Truly, anything works when you speak from your heart.  Just don’t wait to tell them how you feel, life is unpredictable, so have little regrets ... remember we hold LOVE in our hearts, not in our hands ... a simple, heartfelt gesture is the greatest gift we could offer.

In loving memory of our dear friend Paul Botica ...  

Rest in Peace beautiful soul ♥ 

" Newborn ... "

Newborn ...

I've got someone seeing grace in me

Someone respecting me

I've got someone who's there for me

Someone saying prayers for me

For all the right reasons

~ Depeche Mode ~ Newborn ~

***

This weekend, I had an opportunity to celebrate the upcoming birth of a newborn.  My girlfriend Jasmeen and her husband are expecting their first baby this spring.  So exciting ... bringing so much joy in their lives and for those of us touched by them.  Thanks to my gorgeous girl, Rupi who hosted a wonderful afternoon, we showered Jasmeen with happiness and love ... keeping her body, mind and spirit in a blissful state.  Precious ♥

In the spirit of babies, recently I read that the expectant mother needs to sacrifice many things during her pregnancy, as she is being a given a gift of a lifetime, her precious newborn.  I read she should hear melodious songs, read revered books or beautiful literature, wear comfortable clothing, adorn herself with fragrant flowers and always be in a happy and serene atmosphere.  This increases her chances of giving birth to children who have better cognition, spatial and depth perception.  As well as avoiding packaged foods, restrict animal products and alcohol ensures a healthy baby.  And lowering stress and anxiety is crucial as this can lead to subtle changes in an unborn child’s development ... high signs of stress such as high blood pressure increase heart rates of their babies.

All this literature made me think ... why does this have to apply to only expectant mothers?  Just think ... apply the above to yourself as often as possible ... *sigh ... pure bliss!  We are just as important as our newborns.  We too are a gift and it is never to late to treat ourselves with a mother’s kindness and love ... loving kindness, the feeling of love, warmth and caring as the object.  You see, a mother’s love is unconditional - there are truly no strings attached.  So why do we attach strings?  Why do we beat ourselves up, tell ourselves it is too late or we are not good enough?

When we truly take care of ourselves and our bodies at all times, not just times when we are “suppose to”, we will have the same effect on ourselves as we would on a newborn ... for example, you wouldn’t feed your baby junk food, so why do you feed this to yourself?

So start off by imagining yourself as a kid ... wouldn’t you want the best for that kid?  Imagine showering that child with comfort, security, safety.  Continue to positively nourish that child's internal and external environment.  Now use that image as a way to cultivate a sincere wish for happiness for yourself ... a wish held within every one of your cells ....a wish to be truly happy ... a wish to embrace yourself with feelings of peace, bliss and joy ... unconditionally.  Precious ♥

" Not This Time ... "

I don't know why I give in, but I do every time.

And here I am wondering why I did it again.

To keep me going,

To keep the shit away.

I don't know what it is,

But every time you're near, I fear you,

But not this time...

~ Kate Bush ~ Not This Time ~

***

There are times when we take on too many commitments and simply spread ourselves too thin.  Creating stress as we are unable to get anything done, at least not well or on time.  There comes a time when you just have to say no ... not this time.  

The Gentle Art of Saying No ~ an art that many people have problems with.

So what’s so hard about saying no?  Well, first it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person it is directed to.  And it’s is not usually a fun thing to do.  Second, if you hope to continue to have a good relationship with that person, saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.  Third, we all have an unconscious agenda to be safe and to be liked.  

You see, saying “no” is scary.  We are taking a risk that the person on the receiving end might not like us, consider us selfish and disagreeable.  But think back to a time when you had to say no ... soon after you expressed yourself, your fear probably turned to relief and empowerment.  And chances are the person at the other end respects you more for being honest ... with the both of you.  People suspect insincerity.

So you can start by deciding which things you should agree to commit to, and which things are all right to pass on.  This decision stems from your priorities - what is important to you and your life.  

Life is too short to do things you don't really want to do ... follow your dreams and instead of wishing, hoping, or pleading for them to come true try being intentional, purposeful, and grateful ... create your life by designing your days.

" Seasons In The Sun ... "

You gave me love and helped me find the sun.

And every time that I was down

you would always come around

and get my feet back on the ground ... 

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.

But the hills that we climbed

were just seasons out of time ...

~ Terry Jacks ~ Seasons In The Sun ~

***

Do you have a BFF (Best Friend Forever) or is it your BFFN (Best Friend For Now)?  Sometimes it seems like the faster the friendship occurs, the faster it fizzles.  We experience, we get hurt and we do it all over again ... so how do we get caught in this cycle?  Well, instant best friends give you a sense of belonging ... but maybe ask yourself if they have what it takes to go the distance?

So what’s behind the need to attach immediately?  Sometimes if you are in a vulnerable situation, having a friend that you’re in 24/7 contact with can make you feel more stable ... constant contact.  It can be like a drug ... excessive interaction is a characteristic of fast friendships.  You feel so drawn to the person that you can’t get enough of them.  You end up spilling intimate secrets, abandoning old friends you no longer have time for, or obsessively calling your new pal.  And it doesn’t matter what age you are at, most females can idenify with this at some point in their life.  And why females?  Well we are more emotionally involved in our friendships than males.  This is not to stereotype, just on average, this is the case.

Social networks like Facebook and Twitter enable us to stay connected and facilitate fast friendships.  And you may be talking to each other all the time and feel like you are bonding, but you are not getting the closeness you do from in person contact.  Hence the term BFFN.

So if you’re not sure if they are BFF or BFFN, ask yourself ... does your bond have a solid foundation of trust?  It can take months, even years to figure out what someone is like, their true character.  So just because she is a blast to hang out with, doesn’t mean your bond has legs.  You may think you know a person, until she shows her true colors.  

But hey not all doom and gloom ... you gotta start somewhere and you CAN form a lasting bond.  A good start ... try to survive a brief absence.  And maybe proceeding cautiously and not disclosing intimate information until your new pal has proven themselves as trustworthy ... the last thing you want to do is give a false friend ammo to use against you.  Remember the saying, speak highly of your enemies, you created them.

And really just avoid having too-high expectations of your BFFN.  Take them at face value, and over time, you will be able to gauge whether she’s a fair-weather pal or a friend for all seasons.

" Don't Stop Believin' ..."

“Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard

Their shadows searching in the night

Streetlights people, living just to find emotion

Hiding, somewhere in the night.

Don't stop believin'

Hold on to the feelin'

Streetlights people”

~ Journey ~ Don’t Stop Believing ~

***

What does your spiritual journey consist of?  Do you think of it as a quick journey?  Are you all about speed so that you can avoid potential dangers that await you on your path?  Sometimes trying to feel your way in the dark and moving slowly on our spiritual journey may bring us to those very dangers we are trying to avoid.  A sage once said “Our spiritual journey may be a tightrope stretched low across the ground, designed more for tripping over than walking on.”

Outer circle of humanity ... where every one speaks their own language with the possibility of miscommunication and suffering ... characterized as acting as a machine in an action-reaction pattern with little awareness or control.  

Inner circle of humanity ... where all hearts are as one and true community and love exist ... some associate with saints, enlightened beings and prophets, all arrayed in degrees of closeness to the center ~ the ultimate truth. 

Travelling from one to the other is your spiritual journey.  From culture, media, entertainment and the hunt for wealth and security to religion, myths, legends, and heart of enlightenment.

So where are you on your spiritual journey?  A good indicator is the type of influences you are dealing with.  For example, if it is a group of people in your life, are they selfish or unselfish?  Do they invite you you to lose yourself or to awareness of yourself?  

The reality is that there is a mix of both in our lives all the time.  Therefore, trying to maintain the state of awareness from your inner circle influences as long as possible when shifting to the outer circle influences, may be a good way to balance the two.  You see, this awareness will make your experience of outer circle influences more enjoyable, as they will have a spark of vividness and life to them.

Just trust this process will happen with its own speed, but the secret key is adding the light of your understanding and awareness to it.   Imagine the pull of your core on your spiritual journey is like a current in a river, it will take you with or without your awareness.  So stand guard at the gates of your heart, and observe the impressions that pass through them.  If you believe, you will see your path brightly lit in front of you, and your core will act like a compass and always point you in the right direction.  

"To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping ..."

" Cup Of Coffee ... "

" I really love 

To hate this

Love hate

Hate love relationships

Are over-rated 

Leave it all behind me

You'll see it 

When you finally find me

Comatose or pretty close

Cup of coffee 

And an overdose

~ Katy Perry ~ Cup Of Coffee ~

***

I’m closing in on a year now since I had an actual cup of coffee ... yep, this former “Venti Non-Fat X-tra No-Foam Chai Latte” princess has been caffeine free.  Well, that doesn’t include of course the coffee enemas, which is an integral part of the Gerson Therapy, and if you have visited me before you are aware of this.  Those that are new, yes you read that right ... coffee enema AKA coffee break AKA upside down coffee.  

So why is coffee forbidden on GT?  Well caffeine by mouth causes undesirable stimualtion of the digestive system.  Orally taken caffeine overly excites the central nervous system (read below), while the essential oils disturb digestion.  In contrast, when you take a coffee enema, it offers an entirely advantageous effect on the liver where, aside from detoxification, it increases the production of gluthathione S-transferase (a desirable enzyme) ... stimulating the liver to remove toxins from our bodies.  

Now do you really get that positive pep from your morning cuppa joe? ... from the research I’ve done, it seems that many of the positive effects of this “drug” become negative when the amount of caffeine consumed is increased, starting with a physical dependence.  You see too much caffeine is associated with reduced coordination, insomnia, headaches, nervousness and dizziness.  And when you go “cold turkey”, from my experience, you will experience withdrawal symptoms such as headache, fatigue and muscle pain.

And here some more beans for thought ... caffeine works by competing with adenosine, a chemical produced by the brain.  Normall adenosine binds receptors to slow down nerve cell activity, but caffeine takes it’s place ~ preventing it from doing its job at these locations in the brain.  And the result?  the activity of these nerve cells increase affecting our central nervous system, kidneys, muscles and cardiovascular system.

Oh and if you think “decaf” is better, think again ... there is still residual caffeine in the coffee and it starts working as soon as 15 minutes after consumption ... taking ~ 6 hours for half of the total caffeine consumed to be eliminated from the body.

So my choice of drug ... my upside down coffees.  And if you are interested in finding out more, check out The Wellness Warrior’s how to do a coffee enema here ... Bottoms Up!!

" I Love Myself Today ... "

I’ll stand right up

Spit shine my soul

I’m gonna be proud

And loud and outta control

I love myself today

Not like yesterday

I’m cool, I’m calm

I’m gonna be ok, uh huh

~ Bif Naked ~ I Love Myself Today ~

***

I have always loved this song and artist, very cool lyrics and vibe.  And I thought it was appropriate for this blog ... Narcissists ... (triggered after witnessing an interaction at our community coffee shop this am) ...

So what is a narcissist?  Well the term “narcissism” comes from the Greek mytology character called “Narcissus” who fell in love with his own reflection while gazing into a pool of water.  Narcissists are people who have an obsessive interest in well, themselves ... consumed with their physical appearance and have a very grandiose opinion of their own abilities, craving attention and admiration as highly self-centered people ... 
* Le sigh, yes we all have known someone ...

And dealing with people who have narcissist personalities is challenging as they may appear charming, they make other be dependent on their approval.  If boundaries are not set and reinforced, a narcissist can be extremely draining.

But a person can be selfish or argumentative, but that doesn’t make them a narcissist.  To have a narcissistic-personality disorder means a person has a chronic pattern of irregular thinking and behaviours in various situations.

So how can you tell the difference?  Well narcissists lack empathy for others.  They have an exaggerated sense of entitlement and expect people to do favours for them rather than them being concerned about others.  Also, envy is a common sign ... they are jealous of the achievements of others, dominate conversations and exaggerate their own accomplishments and importance.  To a narcissist, appearance is more important than inner qualities such as integrity.  Plus bragging about power and wealth helps to boost their low self-esteem, regardless of whether the narcissist is actually wealthy or is lying about their economic status. 

So where does all this come from?  In reality, narcissists feel inferior so they develop a superiority complex to combat feeling less than others. This usually involves an exaggeration of the narcissist’s own accomplishments, while putting down others viewed as threats.  Narcissism occurs as a result of a gap between one’s ideal self and real self ... leading to a person developing defense devices for defending their ego.

So how do you deal with a narcissists?  

• Set boundaries and decide the amount of approval to give a narcissist ... for example, how long to listen to them talk about themselves.  If it goes on too long, politely change the subject or make an excuse to leave the conversation.

• Avoid arguments. Forget trying to win an argument with a narcissist. Instead, steer a conversation in an peaceful direction.

• End the relationship. When involved in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to know when to leave. It is vital to care of yourself, realizing the narcissistic has a mental illness and what they say should not be taken personally.

“When science finally locates the center of the universe, 

some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it” ~ B. Bailey