Friday, February 3, 2012

" Respect ... "

I ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone
Ain't gonna do you wrong (oo) 'cause I don't wanna (oo)
All I'm askin' (oo)
Is for a little respect when you come home (just a little bit)
Baby (just a little bit) when you get home (just a little bit)
Yeah (just a little bit)
Find out what it means to me
Take care, TCB
~ Aretha Franklin ~ Respect ~
Lately the topic of respect seems to be surfacing in conversations around me ... mutual respect, lack of respect, and disrespect within relationships.  All types of relationships too.  And yes It is true that all relationships are different, yet despite their differences, one essential element makes all relationships work in a healthy way for both paties ... RESPECT.  Putting up with disrespectful behaviour for fear of losing someone as a partner or friend is destructive to self-worth, but people often let this happen.  Why?  well they don’t know how to identify signs of disrespect.  And without respect, no true friendship can take root.  
Here are some signs that will red flag if you are in the midst of an unhealthy situation:

  • Trust - A perfectly normal emotion felt by people in relationships is jealousy, but the issue is how the person reacts or deals with these feelings.  When one person doesnt’ trust the other to enjoy other friendships, trust is lacking.  Healthy connections allow everyone to maintain their own identities and do things independently of the other person, free of suspicion.   
  • Honesty - This is fundamental to respectful, trusting relationships.  Being honest and openly communicating thoughts and feelings make your relationship stronger.  Being nonjudgemental, accepting and valuing each other’s opinions, beliefs and feelings.  Signs that respect is lacking include lying and situations in which one party belittles or is intolerant of the other for feeling or thinking a certain way.
  • Fairness and Equality - This involves balance, and requires give and take from both sides ... this can be lacking when one person consistently excludes the other from decision making.  Also when one person is forced to compromise to satisfy the other, respect is lacking.
  • Mutual Support - Being present when times are good AND bad.  A respectful relationship is a partnership in which people work together to achieve common goals as well as support each other when things get tough.  If you can’t count on them during these challenging times, these are signs of respect deficienty in the relationship.
We all have experiences we can share with each other when it comes to relationships.  We live and learn.  Remember to choose your relationships wisely and be the kind of person you want in return.  Lead by example.  And as hard as it may be, confront those who show you disrespect.  If you have someone whose level of respect does not meet your expectations and they refuse to consider your feelings, you must be willing to distance yourself from them.  

Seek those whom are more likely to pull you up then push you down ...

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