Saturday, February 4, 2012

" I Love Myself Today ... "

I’ll stand right up
Spit shine my soul
I’m gonna be proud
And loud and outta control
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I’m cool, I’m calm
I’m gonna be ok, uh huh
~ Bif Naked ~ I Love Myself Today ~
I have always loved this song and artist, very cool lyrics and vibe.  And I thought it was appropriate for this blog ... Narcissists ... (triggered after witnessing an interaction at our community coffee shop this am) ...

So what is a narcissist?  Well the term “narcissism” comes from the Greek mytology character called “Narcissus” who fell in love with his own reflection while gazing into a pool of water.  Narcissists are people who have an obsessive interest in well, themselves ... consumed with their physical appearance and have a very grandiose opinion of their own abilities, craving attention and admiration as highly self-centered people ... 
* Le sigh, yes we all have known someone ...
And dealing with people who have narcissist personalities is challenging as they may appear charming, they make other be dependent on their approval.  If boundaries are not set and reinforced, a narcissist can be extremely draining.
But a person can be selfish or argumentative, but that doesn’t make them a narcissist.  To have a narcissistic-personality disorder means a person has a chronic pattern of irregular thinking and behaviours in various situations.
So how can you tell the difference?  Well narcissists lack empathy for others.  They have an exaggerated sense of entitlement and expect people to do favours for them rather than them being concerned about others.  Also, envy is a common sign ... they are jealous of the achievements of others, dominate conversations and exaggerate their own accomplishments and importance.  To a narcissist, appearance is more important than inner qualities such as integrity.  Plus bragging about power and wealth helps to boost their low self-esteem, regardless of whether the narcissist is actually wealthy or is lying about their economic status. 
So where does all this come from?  In reality, narcissists feel inferior so they develop a superiority complex to combat feeling less than others. This usually involves an exaggeration of the narcissist’s own accomplishments, while putting down others viewed as threats.  Narcissism occurs as a result of a gap between one’s ideal self and real self ... leading to a person developing defense devices for defending their ego.

So how do you deal with a narcissists?  
  • Set boundaries and decide the amount of approval to give a narcissist ... for example, how long to listen to them talk about themselves.  If it goes on too long, politely change the subject or make an excuse to leave the conversation.
  • Avoid arguments. Forget trying to win an argument with a narcissist. Instead, steer a conversation in an peaceful direction.
  • End the relationship. When involved in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to know when to leave. It is vital to care of yourself, realizing the narcissistic has a mental illness and what they say should not be taken personally.
“When science finally locates the center of the universe, 
some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it” ~ B. Bailey

No comments:

Post a Comment