" Frustrate … "

I want to scream
Clenched fist, ground teeth
A bad dream, feeling so mean
Stumble across my piece ...

Quiver the index, sweat between the skin and the steel
All of the sudden it feels so real
The bang, the smoke, the blood ... 

A release to stay insane

~ Flotsam and Jetsam ~ Frustrate ~

***

Frustration can get the best of anyone ... and it happens when we are trying to do something in our own strength that we cannot do.

It can happen when we feel like we are in a rut ... a dead-end job, in survival mode, in a toxic relationship ... all while being unhappy achieving none of your goals or dreams.  As we age, we start to reflect, and if we feel like we have not much to show for it ... frustration sets in.

Let go or be dragged ...

Frustration brings on a mixture of anger and sadness as a result of interactions with people, events or circumstances.  How we react and our emotional response determines our level of frustration, when things don’t go according to plan. In other words, we don’t get what we want.

Let’s get some perspective ... are your current problems and issues of major consequence in the long run?  Ask yourself if it will even matter 5 or 10 years from now … Personally, my frustrations were an excuse to prevent me from achieving my goals and living my life to the fullest.  I was unrealistic and impatient.  I was full of pride, narcissism & ego and then there was a major shift ...

I started to count my blessings and appreciate what I have in my life rather than worry about what I didn’t have.  

I started to become clear about what I wanted in my life and who I wanted in my life.

I started to speak my truth and follow my path, even if it is alone.

And it is easy to slip back into old patterns, old scripts and old ways.  But it is how easily we get ourselves out of that place ... how easily we “unstuck” ourselves.

REALIZATION … 

frustration and confidence are both within my control, 

but only one will help me achieve the life I crave.

www. walkstrong.ca

" Jealousy ... "

Oh jealousy look at me now

Jealousy you got me somehow

You gave me no warning

Took me by surprise

Jealousy you led me on

You couldn't lose you couldn't fail

You had suspicion on my trail

Oh jealousy you tripped me up

Jealousy you brought me down

You bring me sorrow you cause me pain

Jealousy when will you let go?

Gotta hold of my possessive mind ...

How how how all my jealousy

I wasn't mad enough to let you hurt my pride

Now I'm only left with my own jealousy

But now it matters not

If I should live or die

'Cause I'm only left with my own jealousy

~ Queen ~ Jealousy ~

***

It is probably safe to say that we’ve all experienced some form of jealousy in our lives.  Whether we are the ones that were jealous, or someone jealous of us.  But do you want to know that the reasons for jealousy can be?

Uncertainty.  Low self-esteem.  Possessiveness.  Arrogance.  

When a person has a rather negative self-image, jealousy appears as a rescue attempt.  A person who thinks of themselves in an inferior way believes they don’t deserve the relationship.  Therefore they feel they will be abandoned.  Some people go as far as with this belief that they self-sabotage.  Their illusion becomes their reality.  Their insecurity of their role or position in the relationship leads them to questioning everything about it.

Sometimes the “too popular” partner can create a jealous reaction.  When you have a popular, communicative and extremely sociable person who is admired by all, it can generate feelings of envy and jealousy.  Feelings of not wanting to share your time with this person with others due to the constant attention they receive.

But probably the most destructive extreme of jealousy comes from possessiveness.  This can lead to an unhealthy relationship of dependency ... happens when the other checks upon you, controls you, dominates and subdues you emotionally.  Such people are arrogant as they subtly destroy the self confidence of the other person.  

So how do you or your loved one overcome jealous without losing your relationship? 

It begins with awareness.  Awareness allows you to see that the projected “illusions” in your mind are not true.  By changing what you believe you change what your imagination is projecting and you can eliminate these destructive emotional reactions.  

• Take a step back from the “story” and shift your point of view.  
• Address the beliefs that trigger jealousy instead of attempting to control your emotions.  
• Take your personal power back so that you can get control and refrain from reactive behaviours.  

Regardless, the willingness to change unhealthy behaviours will happen when you have the desire to do so ... you just have to first decide if the relationship is still worth fighting for ...

" I Hold No Grudge ... "

Yes I’m the kind of people

You can step on for a little while

But when I call it quits

Baby that’s it

I’m the kind of people

You can hurt once in a while

But crawling just ain’t my style

I hold no grudge

Deep inside me there’s no regrets

But a gal who’s been forgotten may forgive

But never once forget

~ Nina Simone ~ I Hold No Grudge ~

***

Grudges ... defined as “resentment strong enough to justify retailiation”.  Personal injustice ignites resentment in our hearts, which in turns into a grudge.  And everyone has, at some time or other, been hurt deeply by someone, so this is a natural human reaction  Yet when we want revenge instead of focusing on what we need to solve the problem, we  halt our healing.  And why do we want revenge?  Because we have developed bitterness about that person or situation.

You see when someone hurts you, your instant reaction is to hurt them back.  Our very nature spurs us to settle the score, to get even.  And the person who hurts us might not even know how angry and bitter we feel ... these emotions continue to aggravate at their supposed indifference.  Yet at all health levels the only one we hurt is ourselves.

Holding a grudge will only devour you from the inside out because YOU refuse to forgive the one who hurt you.  The price to pay is too high because life keeps running on rewind.  We allow ourselves to be handcuffed to the negative past, causing us to irrationally dwell, and allowing us to find blame for our present failures.

So how do you even begin to let go?  Start by altering how you view the situation.  You can’t change what happened, but you can change our attitude about it and reduce the power it has over you.  Of course you cannot fully erase the memory banks of your mind but you do have the power to refuse to think on past injustices, once forgiven. 

Ask yourself : At present, what purpose is holding onto that grudge serving you? 

It has probably poked holes in your energy bucket as fatigue is the faithful companion of a grudge.  You see we waste so much unconscious energy maintaining our grudge.  Instead we can choose to release it and welcome a new surge of  positive emotional and physical energy.  

Grudges are the domain of petty people, not YOU.  Why spend another moment being hung up on hate while present on earth.  Make the decision to kick it out of your life  ... the most it will cost you is happiness in the long run.