" Too Much ... "

“ ... Sorry about that. Honey, I love you too much

Need your lovin' too much

Want the thrill of your touch

Gee, I can't hold you too much

You do all the livin'

While I do all the givin'

Cause I love you too much

Ev'ry time I kiss your sweet lips

I can feel my heart go flip flip

I'm such a fool for your charms

Take me back baby in your arms

Like to hear you sighin'

Even though I know you're lyin'

Cause I love you too much ... “

~ Elvis Presley ~ Too Much ~

***

There is something that many of us have felt.  The fear of loving too much.  When you form an attachment to a living being, eventually one will die.  Perhaps why we feel life is so precious and unpredictable at the same time.  These attachments are always changing and the change it brings can result in fear.  

We choose to love and take the risk of loss.  I am understanding that the way we deal with loss has a lot to do with whether or not the loss heals and strengthens us or harms and weakens us.  Reactions and responses to loss are so individual where there is no place for judgement.  Allowing to be what it is, a process.

Dealing with loss in your own way is true to your being ... 

Dealing with loss in harmony with your deepest truth begins to diminish the mysticism and in turn the fear ... 

From a spiritual perspective, suffering and loss can open our hearts.  When we begin to look at it at a global level, suffering is a part of human incarnation, as is death.  Death is not the end, but part of a process.  

Asking for wisdom to understand 

and strength to continue is more purposeful ... 

So where is the fear coming from? ... Our ego.  To our ego, love is dangerous.  Rejection and conflict can be threatening and cause pain.  The idea of too much love is our ego’s way of protecting itself, shedding doubt, and becoming defensive or offensive.  Ego becomes uncomfortable and therefore reacts in a way of either attraction or aversion.  Ego fears we will abandon separation and self- protection and it fears its own undoing in love.

Yet the ability to love unconditionally and lose completely is necessary in our own spiritual growth.  The experience allows us to be aware of our own true being, our soul speak.  And this awareness is critical to our evolution.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Deep ... "

On the edge

Of a know-nothin' town

Feelin' quite superior

The aged come

To the sky above

He just ain't nothin'

But he's got a great view...

Can't touch the bottom

In too deep

~ Pearl Jam ~ Deep ~

***

Have you ever been told you are “too sensitive”?  Have you ever heard someone equate your feelings to an ocean of emotions?  I have ... many times, along with “you take things too personally are are too emotional”.  And even though I use to think of it as a flaw, now I know it is an advantage. 

Deep feelings, straddled between the area of conscious and subconscious.  Think of them as emotional residue coming up at any time and affecting you, your thoughts, your judgement, and your relationships.  Often we are unaware how our emotional residue impacts our thoughts, decisions and behaviours.   

You see many of our poor reactions to situations, circumstances and communications stem from the deep areas within us that we are not necessarily consciously aware of.  And it is the emotions down deep that we don’t see ... that hinder us the most and effect how we treat others.

In my past, I had the tendency to think that things were not going to get better because I had memories, associated feelings and thoughts that said things are just not going to work out.  I would feel as if what was happening is just more of the same old ways, and that would give me the same old outcomes as they always had.  My past memories contributed to my feelings of defeat and doubt before anything had happened ... because I didn’t see the bubble ... those old feelings that came up in the midst of my opportunity.  

Prepared to deal with it, I started to uncover the underlying deep feelings of hurt.  For a long time, it was buried down deep and I wanted to leave it there.  Yet similar to a bubble that comes up to the surface of the water, I needed to recognize and understand the source of the feeling before I let it burst. 

Now I use my "advantageous flaw" and look at where those feelings come from, why those feelings are still there, and then how I can let them go.  I recognize they come from some area of disappointment where something didn’t work out the way I had hoped for.  For me, I now realize that no matter how screwed over I feel, life is not a broken record playing the same outcome every time ... it’s only my feelings and associated thoughts that are playing that repeated outcome.   

True healing comes at the source or root of the pain.  And for me, I am willing to open up to my personal constraints with humility.  Deep feelings of hurt are within us, whether you see them or not ... yet how they are affecting you is for you and your honest self to deal.

"Definite Choice ..."

"Take your pick and make a stand,

With no regrets or change of plan,
Keep your head, don't be afraid,
Be proud of the choice you've made.
Support your scene, you must believe,
Never stop just move ahead
Oh Oh Oh! Definite Choice!"

~ 7 Seconds ~ Definite Choice ~

***

I never blogged about Steve Jobs.  When he passed on, I was sad, really sad.  Sad for his family, sad for his friends and for the rest of us, sad for society because a true tech iCon had left us.  Immediately after his death, there was a great deal of talk about how he died of cancer.  Yes, of course, whenever anyone dies of cancer now, and it is in the media, it triggers a lot of emotions for me.  Probably for others to -  whether they have lost someone to this dis-ease, their loved ones are battling it at the moment, or they themselves are.  So, for me, there were tears, and a lot of them.  Odd you don't know someone but this type of reaction can occur.  I guess you just identify.  You see photos of the loved ones and their grief.  You visualize yourself in that situation.  The pain you can cause, it feels real and it can be so overwhelming.  

Soon after, I read an article written by the Natural News group, and their perspective on his death.  Yep you guessed it, that conventional therapy is what caused his death and not the cancer itself.  So I merrily sent this to family and a few friends.  I guess if I am honest, to prove a point.  To show that see! see! the treatment plan is what did him in ... not the cancer.  Aha! ..... but then .... no one responded ... maybe because they didn't read it, didn't agree or just didn't bother.  Regardless, we thought it was interesting.  And it felt good to have something else confirming to hold on to.  Mental note to self, maybe only share when others welcome it, instead of bombarding them with controversial stuff ... point taken.

So that brings me to what has happened over the last couple of days.  I have been blogging about other happenings, but looming articles on Mr. Job's death have been playing on my mind.  And finally I had to blog.  Surprise surprise?! .... 

Now I know with his fame, absolutely everything is going to be analyzed, dissected and re-phrased.  But the latest round of articles on "his fight with cancer" has been ... well interesting?  Probably for anyone that is battling cancer the "alternative way", it strikes a chord.  You see, biographer Walter Issacson"outlines Mr. Job's struggle with pancreatic cancer ... offers new insight and details."  Basically stating that when he was diagnosed, he refused conventional treatment and instead tried "exotic" treatments involving diet, juicing and detox.  Hmmmm sounds vaguely familiar?  But does it?? ... I have been trying to find out exactly what "exotic" treatment he followed.  And I will tell you, Gerson is far from exotic.  It is routine, boring, restrictive and difficult.  Just ask Russ, exotic is not the verb we would use.   So, did Steve Job's follow Gerson?  Did he ingest 13 juices a day?  Did he do 5 coffee enemas a day?  Did he take over 80 supplements (not herbs!) a day?  Did he stay on the therapy for a minimum of 18 months as directed?  I am still searching for confirmation on this ...

Also, Mr. Issacson writes about how Steve Job's upset his family because he refused surgery and chemotherapy, that he was a bit of a hippie, contacted "spiritualist" instead and was foolish to not follow the treatment plan provided because if and only if he did, he would be alive today.   Wow, that is amazing eh?  I really wish I had his conventional medical team on my side that could give me a DEFINITE answer telling me that I would be cured and live a long healthy life IF I follow the treatment plan they have presented.  

You see not one doctor I have consulted with ~ conventional, gerson, holistic, traditional chinese, homeopath or ayurvedic has told me for sure, definitely, without any doubt, that the treatment I follow will work.  Why ... because they can't ... ethically and otherwise.  No one knows.  No one knows if Steve Job's truly followed initially conventional treatments that he would be alive today.  They can, did and are speculating at best.  We do what we can with what we know.  I don't think any one would purposely risk their life ~ we all want to live.  And with the abundance of wealth this man had, he did put all his money into saving his life.  But was it too late when he "finally" did what "they" told him would work.  I don't know.  No one does.  

At the end of it all, they world lost a great man who made a difference.  

A visionary.  He lived a life worth remembering.

Rest in Peace Steve Jobs.  

iRespect.