" Streamline ... "

But I can't see you 'cross the streamline

My love waits for me in daytime

But I can't see you through the snowblind

But I wasn't there for you

You are gone 

Goodbyes are long

Goodbye ...

Well, I know time reveals in hindsight

I can't wrestle with the stormy night

Because your love lasts a lifetime ...

You are gone ...

Goodbyes are long

~ System Of A Down ~ Streamline ~

***

Spring, the time of year when we can dig deep, take stock of what we have and de-clutter.  A time of year to streamline ... your closets, your home and your life.  Yes, your life ... the perfect time to look at the people you surround ourselves with and streamline.

It’s great to have a lot of friends, but it can be exhausting to work at friendships that don’t offer much in return.  You begin to understand that quality far outweighs the quantity of friendships.  So you contemplate “streamlining” your friends.  But do you have the courage to do it?

Most of the time we hold onto people because of a distant memory of how they were rather than come to terms with who they are.  We are afraid of reality, afraid of being alone and afraid to tell the truth.  

Remember the saying ... “no matter what happens, you should never burn a bridge”.  What an interesting thing to say so absolutely.  But aren’t there times when burning a bridge could be a good thing?  Aren’t there times you get the best light from a burning bridge?

Who we let into our lives is a choice ...

The very nature of being human means being social.  We are what we are in relation to other people.  Family, friends, co-workers, etc.  We need other people in order to become fully functioning.  We learn love, empathy, support, encouragement, honesty, commitment, respect and trust.  We learn to grow from each other and the experiences amongst us.  These connections fulfill us by bringing meaning into our lives. 

Finishing unfinished business is a satisfying feeling ...

Yet, if you then start to observe every relationship as a Divine connection, you understand that there are times when connections have served their purpose.  There was a reason or a lesson ... possibly to teach each other or learn from each other.  But when you start to ask “what’s in it for me?” rather than “what can I do for others?” it may be time to move on.

So get the courage to streamline ... to make changes and not excuses, to be motivated and not manipulated and to be useful and not used ... so that you can open yourself to all the new that is waiting for you.

happy weekend ॐ ...

" Say My Name ... "

Say my name, say my name 

If no one is around you 

Say baby I love you 

If you ain't runnin' game 

Say my name, say my name ... 

Why the sudden change 

I know you say that i am assuming things 

Something's going down thats the way it seems 

Shouldn't be the reason why you're acting strange 

If nobody's holding you back from me 

Cause I know how you useually do 

When you say everything to me times two 

Why can't you just tell the truth 

If somebody's there then tell me who 

Why the sudden change 

~ Destiny’s Child ~ Say My Name ~

***

Those who know me wonder why I have “two” names.  Is it Meena or is it Mini?  And why the two?  

Until recently I use to say that “Mini didn’t seem professional enough, so I changed it to Meena.  Meena is what they know me as in the workplace.  It has a nice ring to it ... blah blah blah ...”.  And I would of course add the story of where the name “Mini” came from ... which is a funny story for another blog.  

But again, the above was the explanation I use to give.  And yes it is all true, but there was more to it.  And now I can share what that is, because now, a huge realization set in for me.  

I changed my name after years of teasing ... I use to hear Mini Mouse, Mini Ravioli, and even are you a Mini or a Maxi ... yeah that one was very odd.  But I also changed my name because I never really liked who I was, I never really liked Mini.  I felt inadequate and un-worthy.  I didn’t feel like I was good enough, for anything.  I just didn’t like Mini.  So this was enough motivation to change my name, because maybe it would change me.  I could be someone else because I didn’t want the life I had, I wanted to be someone else, almost always.

But things have shifted.  And my friends may have noticed that even on facebook, I added Mini to my name.  I kept both only because I built an entire life around Meena, just like I had an entire life around Mini.

So what the change, again?  Well, I had a great conversation with a friend who asked me if I had found the blessing(s) in cancer.  And I said yes I had and there were many.  The biggest one is “now, love who I am”.  I have discovered self-love and it feels great.  I am in  alignment with my thoughts, my actions and my feelings.  I feel worthy, I feel adequate and I know I am doing the best I can with where I am at right now, exactly where I am suppose to be.

Well, there you have it ... and it may seem odd, but that’s okay, because I am good with odd too!  

Yes you can ask the question ... “what name do you prefer then?”.  Honestly, I prefer that you call me by the name you feel comfortable with, as YOU know me and who I am.  Because TADA! .... “it’s ME!”.  

Truly, a name is just a name, a label ... but it is the essence of a being, their presence and their actions who determine who they really are.  Their authentic self ... and at my core, I was and still am the same person.

“Bob Marley isn’t my name.  I don’t even know my name yet.”

~ Bob Marley ~

" Detached ... "

What do you believe?

Or do you still conceive? ...

Detached, crawl inside my head

Open up my mind is all they told me, told me

Detached, I don't relate to your fantasy

But I'm detached

See what you do to me

You feed off my mind, well then you break my ability

To maintain a 20/20 vision on myself

So why not, why not, why not let the pain go? ...

~ Spineshank ~ Detached ~

***

What is detachment and why is it so important regarding suffering?  Well, the essence of Buddhism says life is suffering, desire is the root cause of suffering and detachment of desire brings an end to suffering.

So then are desires the problem?  No, because desires simply arise, sometimes involuntarily, and are a part of being human.  Hence what Buddha was addressing is when we have a strong “attachment” to a particular outcome.  

You know the saying, if you want to give God a laugh, make a plan.  Well I know in my case, he has truly had some good belly laughs, probably rolling in the aisles ...

Life doesn’t always go the way we want.  Therefore to experience peace in our lives, we have to go with the flow or roll with the punches.  Yeah I know ... easier said than done, because it is so easy to be a victim ... shoulda, coulda, woulda and why me scenarios.  But understanding that those who view life in this way have a strong attachment to outcomes, increasing their suffering.

I have blogged about acceptance and surrendering to whatever is.  Yet, through meditation and further teachings, I am learning about “non-attachment” or “detachment” and the important role it plays in coping with life.  I am learning that unfavourable circumstances could be seen as a blessing in disguise to deepen my inner experience ... 

... what if you turned your what if into believing that everything is unfolding perfectly, according to a flawless Divine plan.  Then non-attachment is easier to achieve.  Every event can be viewed as our own perfect creation to learn and grow ...

Believe that the Divine is never wrong ... 

Another belief I use to have regarding detachment was that it came from a place of selfish isolation, withdrawal, disconnection and simply disengaging.  Now I am beginning to understand that detachment encompasses stillness, compassion, empathy and loving kindness.  It arises when we let go of our attachment to some things and our resistance to others.  When we stop needing things to conform to our desires, we can help let go of our egos desire using pure love as our ally.

My meditation teacher explains to us that detachment can make us feel as if we have mastered our attachments because we are no longer disturbed by them.  He explains to us that we must also practice patience as detachment enters our lives in stages and fluctuates with this process.

And being a student of life, I understand that I am just on the tip of the iceberg in this process ... to bring more awareness in my life, to lessen the hold of attachments and to eventually experience true liberation.

The essence of the Way is detachment 

~ Bodhidharma ~

" Wisdom ... "

Out in the cold and tryin' to make fire.

Two sticks and stone, still got no fire.

Once I was shown, but I was inside then.

And spit on that good advice.

Wisdom, wisdom, where can I get some?

Wisdom, wisdo-o-o-om

Wisdom, wisdom, where can I get some?

Wisdom, wisdo-o-o-om.. o-o-o-om..

Wisdom, wisdom..

where can I get some?

Wisdom, wisdom..

I wanna trade my dimwits in for tips.

Tips are 'quipped with

wisdom, wisdo-o-om..

~ Mother Mother ~ Wisdom ~

***

The more you give the more you receive, but what you give is also what you receive ... so the quality of what you give matters as much as the quantity of your giving.  

It is about approaching someone as if there is something you want to give versus need to get ...

Personally, I struggle every time I hear of someone else facing a “diagnosis”.  That moment I know too well ... your life as you know it, stops.  So yesterday, at the request of a good friend, I had the opportunity to give ... give my time and share my experience regarding GT.  Was it passing on wisdom? ... hmmm perhaps,  but I looked at it as wanting something for someone else and coming from a place of wholeness, presence and compassion.  

And it was not just about self-confidence or altruism. It was about taking responsibility for creating positive energy around me, which inevitably multiples.  It was about sharing a little light at a dark time with the intention of giving something good.  It is about consciously choosing to share.

Love is the motivating force ... 

Wisdom is the guiding force ... 

When you share wisdom you tend to deal with the issue instead of the residual effects.  You have the opportunity to empower another by transforming and expanding their mind.

I found myself speaking words that I needed to hear too.  Affirmation about my path ... along with the empowerment to do even more of the greatest good.  I can choose to do what’s best and not less.  You see to do the greatest good of all, love must be guided by wisdom.

“ ... you can offer no greater gift than the spiritual and mental empowerment of others, because the inner world creates the outer phenomena ... “

We all need conscious knowledge because it brings everything else.  It allows us to know who we really are and results in enlightenment, healing and joy.

Also, I realize that the wisest people are the ones that acknowledge if the don’t know enough of the subject.  There were times I couldn't answer questions, I just didn't know.  You see others can only trust you when you have knowledge, therefore enlightened giving is to give when you have clarity.

I wanted to provide some compassion to another at a time when it was needed the most.  I wanted to give a little wisdom and help another with a real need.  An opportunity was presented to give because there was an opening to receive.  

And I realized that it truly is the size of my heart that matters 

more than the size of my act.

" Love Anyway ... "

You made a fool 

out of me today 

I'm breaking the rule 

I love you anyway 

You threw the blame 

what a role to play! 

My story's the same 

I love you anyway 

Magic we chase - only to find 

it comes from a place higher than mind 

Higher than dust, but only just 

it hangs on the cusp 

I'll make the time 

if you name the day 

Trouble or shine 

I love you anyway ...

~ Waterboys ~ Love Anyway ~

***

Imagine being in the same room with someone that is critical, unreliable or unpredictable ... it may bring of feelings of dislike and possibly even hatred.  But when we hate we actually become physically toxic.  Our bodies blood pressure rises, our immune system is reduced, and we can increase our vulnerability to illness.

BUT is it realistic to ever completely rid ourselves of hateful thoughts and feelings?  Maybe not, but it IS possible to minimize its presence in everyday life.

“ ... until all human beings can learn to practice 

tolerance and understanding, 

it is doubtful that hatred will ever be 

fully eradicated from the world ... “

You see we all recognize hate because it's a very strong emotion ... and it’s also the easy way out while taking it's toll on you.  Yet understand that hate is really YOUR problem, so YOU have to work it out.  Remember that by hating someone, you are still letting them control your feelings, making them get one up on you.

The beauty is that YOU can decide your limits of hate and frustration ... how much of it is worth it and how much of it isn’t.  YOU get to choose to create a better life that revolves around you, instead of someone who doesn’t even care about your existence.

Begin by understanding whether real or imagined circumstances cause the hateful feelings.  Then sort out if the thought process was rational or irrational at the time these feelings were developed.  True this is easier said than done but  holding on to hate has no real therapeutic value.

By utilizing your heart chakra, you can imagine the energy in your body as a vital force that provides an opening, a balance,  a clearing.  This chakra, in essence, is all about LOVE ... absolute acceptance and embracing of all things.  

Now many of us fall short of unconditional love due to blockages such as sadness, anger, resentment, judgement, or hatred that we have experienced.  And truly these experiences are because of other people’s heart chakra dysfunctions.

Focus on the love that you give to others, 

rather than the love you get in return ...

Learning to love anyways, unconditionally is challenging.  It really is a life long practice.  However, once we work on recognizing the Divine nature inherent in every individual, we can then see the ultimate blessing in everything ... by accepting and loving everything within and outside of us.

" The Chant ... "

In the daytime and in the night

I hear The Chant coming from all around me

Like a blind man who never had his sight

Wishing he could see the light

Desperate ways, desperate days

Are the times we're living in

Looking out, finding out

Realizing that we're living in the last days of living

Chanting around the world

I can hear the voices begging for mercy

Save us from our sins

Can you hear the voices begging for mercy

Through a window looking out to see

What's waiting for me

Destination I know the way

You can follow me

~ Crimson Glory ~ The Chant ~

***

Yesterday we had the opportunity to participate in group chanting.  A very powerful experience.  We accompanied singers and musicians who passionately lead us down a path of pure enjoyment .

So why chant?  Well first, chanting does not have to be translated in order for the beneficial power of the words to find their way into our being.  This is because chants are sung with intense devotion and have a life of their own, resonating in the general sphere of being shared by all.

“Chanting is like stepping into an already powerful river of sound and healing ...”

If you believe that all creation was made of vibration ... that constantly shift and change rhythmical harmonies of time, space and matter.  And music for some is considered organized vibration.  So when we intentionally vocalize a sound, we create a vibration through our entire body ... each and every cell.

Also, it is said that our bodies “hum” at various pitches for our bones, muscles and organs.  We are in constant vibration.  It is also said that the universe hums in B flat.  So when we chant it is believed we come into perfect alignment, becoming a device that brings our hearts, minds, bodies, spirits and worlds together.  

And just consider the concept of “sound therapy” ... when sound is near the human organism it will create a physical change within and its fields.  And even though the change may only be temporary, when occurring, it can be very powerful ... and this is the moment of healing.

“Chanting is a tool to harmonize our scattered attention into the here and now; 

this miraculous moment of human existence ... “

Scientifically, the transformation that occurs with chanting has been study for many years.  It is understood that each part of the body must have its optimum, healthy frequency or rate of vibration to be in the wellness state.  So when we become ill it is because some part of us is not vibrating harmoniously with itself or its surroundings.  Hence this dissonance may be healed with sound, chant and intention, restoring the afflicted parts to their healthy frequency ... pure preventative medicine.

Personally, chanting is part of my meditative and joyful practice.  It quiets my mind and opens my heart by the repetition of sacred sounds.  It calms me and creates a depth of silence.  So try to harmonise your energies by "raising your frequency" ... you may just nourish and recharge internally so that you can vibrate pure love externally ...

" Joy And Pain ... "

Joy and pain

Like sunshine and rain

Joy and pain

Like sunshine and rain ...

So don't look and try to judge me

Because you think that I'm another MC, well

I'm the new kind, I just moved around

But that don't mean I can't rip up the town ...

Not from the old school or from the new

Applaud the boom, do what you want to

Talk to me then try to put me down

We used to be cool now we don't hang around

I'm the headliner of this show

And you're just a kid and you need to grow, because

~ Base Rob ~ Joy And Pain ~

***

As the lyrics go, we get the obvious difference between joy and pain but what about the difference between joy and happiness?  And are they not one in the same?  Recently during a good read this came up for me and I wanted to explore it further ...

Joy and Happiness are both positive and desirable emotions.  They provide feelings of satisfaction and come from certain reasons.  But there is a difference ...

Let's start with JOY .... 

The source of joy is something or someone that is greatly appreciated or valued.  Joy comes from the inner-self of a person.  The connection with the source of life within you.  And it is not only about yourself, but also about the contentment of those people whom you value.  Joy is caused by soul satisfying incidents.  Joy is long lasting and warms your heart.

So what then is HAPPINESS? ...

Happiness is an emotion experienced when in a state of well-being and usually linked to a stimulus or event.  Happiness is something outside of you and is gained by observing or doing.  Happiness can be momentary or short lived.  Happiness can be characterized as materialistic and rests more on worldly pleasures.

Simply put, joy is an extension to happiness ... 

a continuous state of happiness and a positive emotion.

In my experience when I lose joy to fear, I settle for sporadic happy highs, which is additive.  I would look to the future and put all my eggs in someone else's basket.  I would be dependent on people or events to align with my expectations so that the end result would be my happiness.  And it may have given me happiness but not true satisfaction ... the void was still present.

So I had to learn to teach myself to be joyful, truly joyful, because it had become a detriment to my health.  I carried fear, anger and sadness with me most of the time, as it lasted longer than happiness.  So shifting into joy and excitement was required to help me truly heal.

I realized that I have this choice and waiting for a circumstance to subside the lower energies was an illusion.  Joy matters and allowing it in my life has become an essential spiritual aspect of my journey.  Joy brings faith, grace, gratitude, love and hope, and I relay on it to bring deep satisfaction in my life when I need it most.  

Life is meant to be en”joy”ed and not just endured so jump of for joy when you can because joy does not happen to us, we have to choose it and keep choosing it every day ...

" Soak It Up ... "

Turn On The Light Inside Your Eyes

It Gets Me Inspired Every Time ...

Up With The World, So Much I Could Cry

I Let The Hard Times Pass Me By

A Feet On The Ground I Gave Up My Wings

I Look at You, And You Make Me Sing ...

I’m Standing On The Edge Of

A Cliff I've Never Known Before

I Wanna Dive Into The Water

Soak It Up, Soak It Up, Up, Up

…Thoughts,… On My Lies

Doing Beyond That’S From My Previous Life

I Know It’S Gonna Be A Beautiful Day

Because my ... Was Made That Way

~ Nelly Furtado ~ Soak It Up ~

***

Do you ever feel like an emotional sponge?  You know someone who takes on other people’s energies without maybe even realizing it ... my answers, yes and yes.

You see I am a “empath”, someone who “possess the ability to feel the unspoken emotions of other people without conscious intent”.

Oddly enough, I have been proud of being one ... someone who has a sixth sense when it comes to emotions, someone who thinks they understand motivations that drive behaviours.  A keen sense of intuition, an inner compass if you will.  Just knowing or feeling without actually putting into words what is occurring.

I know this has allowed for colorful life experiences in my life.  But it also has a flip side ... as an empath, I have soaked in energies, full of negative emotions such as fear, anger, helplessness, despair and frustrations ... which zero in on hot-button issues that are unresolved in myself.  And the absorption of these have resulted in the physical manifestation of symptoms.  

Everyone projects, but what we choose to absorb is what matters ...

Learning to set physical and emotional boundaries can help you establish a sense of self-defined control and vitality ... 

How?

Start with identifying if you are susceptible.  Ask if the feeling is your own or someone else’s.  If someone else’s, distance yourself from the source and see if you feel relief.  If it yours, confront what is causing it.  Try centering yourself and concentrating on your breath.  Visualize negativity as dark cloud lifting from your body, and hope as white light entering. 

Easier said than done ... of course, but I am doing what I can with where I am at this time ... I am learning to continue practicing these and developing strategies to cope, feel safer and still allow my sensitivities to blossom in a world where it is needed now more than ever.

" Numb ... "

They say life is a battlefield

I say bring it on

If you wanna know how I feel

Live it till it's gone

I'm just saying that what don't kill, only makes you strong

If you don't recognize what is real

Then forever is a long, long, long ... Time

Some things never change here we go again

Feel like I'm losing my mind

Shake it off, let it go, I don't care any more

Just go numb

You never know until you let go

Let's go numb ...

Can you feel it?

~ Usher ~ Numb ~

***

Thanks to a recommendation from a good friend, I have been reading “The Gifts of Imperfection” By Brene Brown.  Wonderful book, full of insight, knowledge and written in a very straight forward manner.  And the cool thing is that I am finding hidden gems as I read.  The recent one is about numbing.

All of us have experience vulnerability, discomfort and pain that we want to avoid.    So you may wonder why not ... why not just numb the emotions because isn’t this just another coping mechanism?

Think about it ... ... booze, food, affairs, money, work, shopping ... used to numb the pain or at least to take the edge off ... resulting in emotional numbness.  Numbing is when you are tired of fighting the feelings of anxiety, depression and just want detachment or to escape.

But according to Dr. Brown, “we cannot selectively numb emotions because when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb positive emotions”.  Well that’s not any good is it?

Severe feelings of detachment makes it hard for us to access normal feelings.  You don’t know yourself, you lose joy, love and happiness in your life and you use a lot of energy to avoid having an authentic emotional experience.

So how do you overcome emotional numbness 

and live with emotional integrity?

Personally speaking, 
I went from avoid, avoid, avoid ... to allow, allow, allow.  

Now, I respect and allow all emotions no matter what they are.  I realize that to feel and to act can be different.  I try to sort out where the emotions are coming from ... am I angry, hurt, sad, etc.  I ask for help when I need help.  And the most important for me is that I am patient with myself ... learning to trust myself again and just be me.

Also, “facing emotions is different than soaking in them until they drain you dry”.  So I stay mindful and notice that these feelings are a part of my emotional health where sometimes a brief break is purposeful and an opportunity to recoup.

You see, once you have allowed the emotions, recognizing a pattern or theme from the experience can allow you to look for meaning or a lesson to be learned.  

Believe that in our ever changing world, emotions pass and time helps.  If we learn acceptance instead of suppression we can understand that feelings are much like life waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf ...

" Stillness Of Heart ... "

All that I want is

Stillness of heart

So I can start

To find my way

Out of the dark ...

What am I buying?

My soul is crying

Where's the love?

What is this world we live in?

Where's the love ?

We've got to keep on giving

Where's the love ?

What happened to forgiving ?

Anyone ?

~ Lenny Kravitz ~ Stillness Of Heart ~

***

Time, day, seasons, people ... all keep changing.

Stressful because each moment of now disappears in an instant as it arises.  Life sweeps us along from the pleasure to pain cycle as anything that changes is not a reliable basis for enduring contentment and fulfillment.  

This is why many practice Stillness ... a sense of unchanging.

When we practice stillness we find refuge, a place to stand with perspective and wisdom from the noisy race of life.  Fortunately, we already have within us a constant place of calm and well being that contains emotional reactions.  Hence with practice we can find and stabilize a sense of it.  

So how do I practice stillness?  Through true meditation.  An opportunity for me to move towards ultimate matters and allowing it to feed me.  A relief from the noise towards a source of clarity and peace.  A chance to give myself permission for space and to be still.

I intentionally enter stillness with a daily practice of it in the morning, before the day is upon me.  My mind is less active at that hour and the benefits are experienced into the rest of my day.  I begin by choosing a quiet place, sit comfortably upright, and keep my body still with closed eyes.  I let go of any expectations of what is “supposed” to happen.  I simply hold the intention to enter the stillness within me.

The key is to allow the air to breathe you.  

I become conscious of my breath and let go of any tensions in my body purposely as I exhale.  When thoughts or emotions arise, I allow, allow, allow them without resistance.  And I let them subside just as effortlessly.  

I have learned that bodily sensations, discomfort or pain, is my ego’s way of distracting.  But it is also an opportunity to send loving energy to this area, by breathing into it, until this too shall pass.  Soon energy blockage, resulting from suppressed emotions are released.

I become aware of the “animating force that gives life” ... the “inner body”.  And to remain anchored in stillness, I keep attention on the sensations of my inner energy body.  I let things happen naturally, with no struggle.  I observe instead of participate.

From my own practice, I carry this beyond meditation and into my daily activities.  And those times when moments are overwhelming, stressful and simply unbearable, I find my place of stillness to ground, center and anchor myself ... to find my way out of the day.

My goal is to awaken and be present in external circumstances of life, while simultaneously sensing the energy field of my inner presence.

My hope is that this inner presence will guide the everyday events I face and bring healing and a powerful presence into what I do and to all I meet.

Stillness provides scattered and restless energies to settle ... 

Stillness provides a feeling of calm ...

Stillness provides clarity to rise to the surface ...

Stillness speaks ...

" Your Word ... "

Your Word I can't deny Your truth
It covers me and lights the way ahead
Your ways of mercy never end
My life surrounded by the hope within
You’ve placed a fire within my heart
Awakening desire for You ...

I stand upon the things You said
My trust in You and by Your Word I live
I know that You have rescued me
My way is set Your light will lead me on
Follow follow follow follow You

~ Parachute Club ~ Your Word ~

***

You’ve probably heard the saying “walk your talk” meaning say what you mean and mean what you say ... the path of personal integrity.  But do you find that your words take you down a path you are not willing to follow?  And do you really know where you stand?

You see most of us have good intentions to follow through but lack of skills, energy or even emotional roadblocks get in the way.  Which provides a solid explanation ... but what if we simply don’t keep our word - we over commit and under deliver.  

Maybe the real question is how good are you to your word?

There is great power in words.  They manifest our dreams and goals while holding personal integrity in delicate balance.  They put power into our physical reality.  Having principles and standards consistent throughout all parts of us is integrity.  You see integrity comes from a place of wholeness where think, speak and act are all in alignment.  Our words match our actions ... at least that is the "perfect" definition of it.

We can all reflect on a time when someone in our life used language carelessly and agreed to things readily yet lacked in the action to support it.  These are times when people deprive themselves of their power, because it is diminished when they undermine their own integrity.

So why the deception?  Well it helps to create multiple realities.  You see when you lie, reality splits or “dis-integrate”.  Now you have one reality that you know and live in, and another that the people to whom you have lied live in.  And those whom you have lied make decisions and choices based on the reality they inhabit, but it’s a different reality than the one you inhabit ... resulting in a split which now influences your relationship and your common future.

So why again why the deception?  ... essentially to make your reality more comfortable.  When you lie, you avoid feeling bad or disappointing others.  Yet you create a situation without having any real way of knowing what the repercussions of that reality split will be down road.  You can’t know how this separate reality will boomerang back to you ... and you can’t really know whether the net outcome for this other person will be better or worse than the course of the reality that might have resulted if you had told the truth.  All you can know for sure is that you’ve now created a rift in a continuum of both your own and these other people’s lives, and you’ve taken charge, if even in a small way, of designing someone else’s reality.

I remember being told when you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember any stories because the state of being connected, sound, and consistent are aligned.  You don’t feel fractured wondering when multiple realities may come crashing down.  When you tell the truth you fully know and trust yourself and others trust you.

Many sources on integrity begin with being true to your word.  The truth is that your word is gold.  To speak something other than your highest choice and truth is a form of fragmentation.  We have the ability to use the power of our words in a direction of truth and love.  And this may not necessarily be kind ... but that is when you ask is it coming from a place of compassion for a greater good. ~ Miguel Ruiz

We can all pause to see where we stand.  We can ask what type of agreements are we making or breaking with ourselves?  Begin with choice words that reflect real promises and understand that they hold incredible power towards manifestation.  Because when your words match you intentions and your actions match your words, life is much happier, it feels right and all is in perfect alignment.