Thursday, April 4, 2013

" Blame ... "

When you're willing to render 
To the guilt you concede 
When truth is your reason 
Then lay that blame on me 
When you unveil a conscience 
And with peace you agree 
When love is your constant 
Then lay that blame on me ...

Question your answers 
Truth has no anger 
Gather up your words 
Redemption now offered

~ Collective Soul ~ Blame ~

Raise your hand if you played victim today and placed blame for your circumstances ... c’mon we all do it and we do it often.  Why? ... because it allows us to feel like life is controlling us instead of us controlling life ... because it really buys us time before we are ready to take responsibility for our lives.

But before we take “response - ability” we have to understand the difference between control and influence.  For example, you can influence a loved ones decision but you cannot control their ultimate choice.  

When we take too much responsibility, we tend to blame ourselves when things go wrong.  And we also tend to not take credit when things work out well.  It is crucial to understand where personal responsibility lies and the ability to do something about it.  

Use what does or does not happen in your life as a “tool” 
for moving through obstacles, providing motivation and taking positive action
I am learning to stop trying to punish myself or others for what appears to be mistakes 
I am learning to focus my energy on realistic solutions instead 

Recently I read that there is a “six-step process” for dissolving blame:
  • How am I blaming myself or others for what is happening in my life?
  • Could I welcome whatever thoughts or feelings that brings up inside of me?
  • Could I let that go?
  • Would I let that go?
  • When?
  • Can I let go of wanting to blame myself or others for what happens and love what is as best I can?

Oddly, our minds may resist letting go of blame because we don’t want to let anyone off the hook.  Yet we all know that holding onto blame leads to the same patterns and suffering.

The idea is to live beyond blame.  
This means replacing “fault” with “action” or taking responsibility while letting go of blame.  You will find that taking appropriate steps from moment to moment, allows life to simply unfold as it does.  This frees up all that energy you have been using ... simply by un clutching, letting go and allowing.  We can then look for the highest good and create that in our lives and in the lives of others in our world, truly taking “response-ability”, beyond blame.

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