" Who Are You ... "

I took the tube back out of town

Back to the Rollin' Pin

I felt a little like a dying clown

With a streak of Rin Tin Tin ...

I stretched back and I hiccuped

And looked back on my busy day

Eleven hours in the Tin Pan

God, there's got to be another way ...

Who are you?

Who, who, who, who?

Who are you?

Who, who, who, who? ...

~ The Who ~ Who Are You? ~

***

Who are you today?  Who were you yesterday?  Who will you be tomorrow?  What popped into your mind?  Did you immediately think of your job title?  Did you identify yourself with a relationship?  Did you describe your body, your personality or favorite hobby?  

The notion of identity, of who we think we are ...

We are so quick to identify ourselves using our circumstances, how others perceive us, our behaviours, or our positions in life ... which limits our growth, leaves us lost and confused.  Ironically, these same labels can give us a sense of belonging, security, shape the way we act and feel but they are misleading because none can fully describe the multifaceted reality of being human. 

I think the most damaging is when we cling to negative identities ... “I am diabetic, I have cancer, I am no good with money, I can’t sing” ... we cling because it is part of our comfort zone.  You see we know our boundaries, what we can and cannot do, so we never venture out.  

Think about it ... if the labels we give others stem from our shallowest impulses and prevent us from really knowing another person, the labels we assign to ourselves are even worse. They destroy us from within. No matter what the label, the more we cling to it, the more pain we are going to suffer. 

So how do you expose the real YOU?  Start with recognizing the identities you are holding on to.  Next speak about them in a different way allows you to detach from them.  The reality is that you are not your circumstances, you are not what you do, you are not roles and you are not your thoughts and beliefs.  

Here are some examples of how looking with a different perspective changes things ....

phrase                                             re-worded

I have cancer                                   my body has cancer

I am broke                                       I would like to have more money

I am disabled                                   I am a person with a disability

I am fat                                            I would like to be more healthy

I hate my job                                    I would like to find another job

I am just a stay at home mom           I raise my children

The idea is that after you can no longer do what you do, whether by choice or not, you will still be you.  Knowing how to let go of any given identity without losing our essential selves yields a security we'll never get from fame, power, money, beauty, or any other personality prop.  Through stillness we remain ourselves no matter what happens ... loss or gain, pain or pleasure, fame or disrepute.  

Hence when the bad labels come at you glue-side up, or the positive ones are stripped away, ask yourself “who are you really?” ... 

" Say My Name ... "

Say my name, say my name 

If no one is around you 

Say baby I love you 

If you ain't runnin' game 

Say my name, say my name ... 

Why the sudden change 

I know you say that i am assuming things 

Something's going down thats the way it seems 

Shouldn't be the reason why you're acting strange 

If nobody's holding you back from me 

Cause I know how you useually do 

When you say everything to me times two 

Why can't you just tell the truth 

If somebody's there then tell me who 

Why the sudden change 

~ Destiny’s Child ~ Say My Name ~

***

Those who know me wonder why I have “two” names.  Is it Meena or is it Mini?  And why the two?  

Until recently I use to say that “Mini didn’t seem professional enough, so I changed it to Meena.  Meena is what they know me as in the workplace.  It has a nice ring to it ... blah blah blah ...”.  And I would of course add the story of where the name “Mini” came from ... which is a funny story for another blog.  

But again, the above was the explanation I use to give.  And yes it is all true, but there was more to it.  And now I can share what that is, because now, a huge realization set in for me.  

I changed my name after years of teasing ... I use to hear Mini Mouse, Mini Ravioli, and even are you a Mini or a Maxi ... yeah that one was very odd.  But I also changed my name because I never really liked who I was, I never really liked Mini.  I felt inadequate and un-worthy.  I didn’t feel like I was good enough, for anything.  I just didn’t like Mini.  So this was enough motivation to change my name, because maybe it would change me.  I could be someone else because I didn’t want the life I had, I wanted to be someone else, almost always.

But things have shifted.  And my friends may have noticed that even on facebook, I added Mini to my name.  I kept both only because I built an entire life around Meena, just like I had an entire life around Mini.

So what the change, again?  Well, I had a great conversation with a friend who asked me if I had found the blessing(s) in cancer.  And I said yes I had and there were many.  The biggest one is “now, love who I am”.  I have discovered self-love and it feels great.  I am in  alignment with my thoughts, my actions and my feelings.  I feel worthy, I feel adequate and I know I am doing the best I can with where I am at right now, exactly where I am suppose to be.

Well, there you have it ... and it may seem odd, but that’s okay, because I am good with odd too!  

Yes you can ask the question ... “what name do you prefer then?”.  Honestly, I prefer that you call me by the name you feel comfortable with, as YOU know me and who I am.  Because TADA! .... “it’s ME!”.  

Truly, a name is just a name, a label ... but it is the essence of a being, their presence and their actions who determine who they really are.  Their authentic self ... and at my core, I was and still am the same person.

“Bob Marley isn’t my name.  I don’t even know my name yet.”

~ Bob Marley ~