" Attached ... "

“ ... I've tried and tried again to let you go

Even though you're the only have I have in this world

If you leave, what do I do?

Now what do I do? ... 

Heaven, will you let it rain?

I want to hid my tears in the rain

Because I was attached, I was foolishly attached

And even to this day, I love you ... “

*** Brown Eyed Girl ~ Attached ~ 

***

Practicing non-attachment can be liberating but it is yet another practice.  A practice when you learn to relate to your emotions differently ... understanding their impermanence.

Practicing non-attachment allows you to have the ability detangle from emotional states of aversion for the negative or wanting to extend the positive.  The emotions rise and dissolve.  There is perspective.

When you understand the true meaning of non-attachment expectations no longer rule your life ... and the emotions that arise, you have space for.  You relate to the world as it is rather than to your concepts about it.  And you are able to allow life to unfold without needing to control everything.  The sense of spaciousness and freedom felt brings a genuine contentment that starves in temporary experiences.  

And it is good to remember that non-attachment differs from detachment.  Detachment is unresponsive and removed from emotions.  Non-attachment allows us to feel the emotions but not become trapped by them.  Hence when we are non-attached, we still care but we no longer discriminate, feeling love for this person and aversion for another.  

“ ... Neither do we "detach from the body." 

We wisely realize it is not permanent 

and that it is not our true self. 

It is a temporary dwelling for this lifetime. 

But we still need to take care of it 

and treat it with respect as we try to find the balance 

between hedonism and asceticism ... “

So it really isn’t about just “letting go”, the usual cliche used in meditation and yoga classes.  Because detachment and non-attachment differ ... and when we think of letting go, we are programmed to believe that it is something to get rid of or throw out.  Rather than get rid of attachment, we can experience the non- attachment ... simply not holding on, not grasping ... ultimately, we experience PEACE.

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" Detached ... "

What do you believe?

Or do you still conceive? ...

Detached, crawl inside my head

Open up my mind is all they told me, told me

Detached, I don't relate to your fantasy

But I'm detached

See what you do to me

You feed off my mind, well then you break my ability

To maintain a 20/20 vision on myself

So why not, why not, why not let the pain go? ...

~ Spineshank ~ Detached ~

***

What is detachment and why is it so important regarding suffering?  Well, the essence of Buddhism says life is suffering, desire is the root cause of suffering and detachment of desire brings an end to suffering.

So then are desires the problem?  No, because desires simply arise, sometimes involuntarily, and are a part of being human.  Hence what Buddha was addressing is when we have a strong “attachment” to a particular outcome.  

You know the saying, if you want to give God a laugh, make a plan.  Well I know in my case, he has truly had some good belly laughs, probably rolling in the aisles ...

Life doesn’t always go the way we want.  Therefore to experience peace in our lives, we have to go with the flow or roll with the punches.  Yeah I know ... easier said than done, because it is so easy to be a victim ... shoulda, coulda, woulda and why me scenarios.  But understanding that those who view life in this way have a strong attachment to outcomes, increasing their suffering.

I have blogged about acceptance and surrendering to whatever is.  Yet, through meditation and further teachings, I am learning about “non-attachment” or “detachment” and the important role it plays in coping with life.  I am learning that unfavourable circumstances could be seen as a blessing in disguise to deepen my inner experience ... 

... what if you turned your what if into believing that everything is unfolding perfectly, according to a flawless Divine plan.  Then non-attachment is easier to achieve.  Every event can be viewed as our own perfect creation to learn and grow ...

Believe that the Divine is never wrong ... 

Another belief I use to have regarding detachment was that it came from a place of selfish isolation, withdrawal, disconnection and simply disengaging.  Now I am beginning to understand that detachment encompasses stillness, compassion, empathy and loving kindness.  It arises when we let go of our attachment to some things and our resistance to others.  When we stop needing things to conform to our desires, we can help let go of our egos desire using pure love as our ally.

My meditation teacher explains to us that detachment can make us feel as if we have mastered our attachments because we are no longer disturbed by them.  He explains to us that we must also practice patience as detachment enters our lives in stages and fluctuates with this process.

And being a student of life, I understand that I am just on the tip of the iceberg in this process ... to bring more awareness in my life, to lessen the hold of attachments and to eventually experience true liberation.

The essence of the Way is detachment 

~ Bodhidharma ~