" Urges ... "

“ ... Urges, urges - he get these urges

Don't wanna talk about -

Heartfelt urges - he get these urges

He's not supposed to talk about ... 

In the footlight the ape in motion

Spins circles all across the floor -

Mouth the words, assume the positions

For a second we can fool them all

It's never been this way before ... “

~ Thomas Dolby ~ Urges ~

***

My practice is teaching me freedom is not what I thought it was.  Not freedom as defined in the West ... freedom to do what we want and not have to do what we don’t want.  Rather the practice teaches that freedom is freedom from desire and aversion.  Freedom from want, not freedom to do what we want.  And this view is what I continue to develop.

So how do you kill off cravings ... not a clue.  Yet through mindfulness training, I learn to accept the flow of experience just as it is, instead of resisting or grasping.  I change my relationship to the urge.  I observe.  I surf my urges.  

I begin by noticing what is happening within the body and the mind.  The sensation and emotion.  I notice the impulse and urge to do something to change the moment.  And I notice how both the sensations change and urges come and go.  Consciously aware of their changing nature, their ebb and flow, the impermanence.  And I repeat and repeat ...

As I practice this approach, I realize that I can begin to cope with what is happening in the present moment.  Reminding myself that we are stronger than we believe we are  and it is the fear of the future, not the present, that compels us.  Hence when I remain with my urges in the present moment, I experience and I remain with what is.  I don’t have to act or react, I can just be and accept.  Path of least resistance.

Watching the rise and fall, the coming and going of the urge to change the situation ... I become aware of my strength to resolve.  I watch the strength of the compulsion rise and then it falls away again.  And I don’t have to stop it and I don’t have to run away from it.  I let it pass.  Just notice it and go on with life.  Perhaps learning that I do not have to react to every urge ... that I can be non-reactive and I can surf my urges.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Pause ... "

“ ... As the world bears down on my shoulders

I find the fear doesn't subside ... 

I don't know how I've lasted this long

I wish to pause this moment

'Cause as I cry I start to realize ... 

You give me strength

You take away my fear

There was a void in my heart that only you could fill ... “

~ Kjwan ~ Pause ~

Ever observe the reaction of people when you tell them you meditate.  Just take notice ... either they are curious, stay clear of you ... or think you may just be a flake.  

Regardless, mindfulness has changed the way I live.  

Just three years ago, I was in the middle of the intense Gerson Therapy, working hard to rebuild my body and get healthy.  My practitioner spoke to me about meditation.  I remember my response ... oh yes, I meditate already ... yup, total and complete bullshit.  I was operating from a level of conditioning  that I no longer strive for.  

A basic quietness, practiced for minutes in a day ... to help cope, deal and manage life.  At the deepest level available.  A connection within.  Listening to your higher self.  

I still get anxious, I still get scared, but I am aware of this new level of training.  Helping me become present, centered and more mindful than imagined.  

With such a glowing review, you would think that the meditation bandwagon would be full.  Not so much.  From believing that meditation isn’t for “me”, not having enough time, expectation to “clear the mind” of thoughts, reach nirvana and having to “do” meditation ... what we resist the most, we simply need the most.  

In the beginning, the idea of sitting in silence, doing nothing was terrifying.  I told my teacher that I could not observe my thoughts.  The ones that were dark and full of despair.  My teacher told me that those were the ones I would learn the most from.  Three plus years later ... it is still an enormous process.

Mindfulness isn’t for the hippies and tree hugger only.  Or for certain races or types of people.  It isn’t in your DNA or you have to be “good at it”.  It is about trying.  Our monkey minds will distract, destroy and delete information.  Yet with the use of breath work, visualizations and mantras, you notice your thoughts, without judgement and ... stillness arises.  The pauses between the thoughts become greater.  

And in that pause ... PEACE ~ CLARITY ~ CALM ... 

Forget the candles, chant, hums and incense.  

Pause and quiet the mind.

www.walkstrong.ca