“ ... Let's start a brand new story
Now my love, right now
There'll be no other time
And I can show you how, my love
Talk in everlasting words
And dedicate them all to me
And I will give you all my life
I'm here if you should call to me
You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say
It's only words, and words are all I have
To take your heart away ... “
~ Bee Gees ~ Words ~
By listening to and analyzing the words I use on a regular basis, I can learn to stop unconsciously programming myself to have limitations. My own words tell a tale. And listening to the words I say, explains a lot about what’s going on inside my head.
Mindfulness practice helps me to gain the ability to pay attention to these words. I am discovering that I often use self-limiting words before I even had a chance to think about them. My subconscious chooses safe words that make unimportant things feel huge, and words that allow me wiggle room to procrastinate safely. Simply put ... weak language is a subconscious attempt to avoid responsibility.
And I am called out on it, frequently, by my teacher. Words that make me weak. Words that make me sound like a victim. Words that give me an easy way out to blame someone else when it all falls apart.
... clear speech means clear thinking. And clear thinking means clear execution ...
Need, Can’t, Try and Bad ... within these words tell you different than reality. An unconscious box around solutions, limiting my creativity and failing to accomplish anything useful. Unaware of how I may be robbing myself of my power or destroying any hope for innovative thinking.
... setting yourself up for learned helplessness ...
I am learning that unconsciously our brains listen and because it cannot understand context, it creates confusion and subtle stress. I am learning that using words that mean the same thing to my conscious brain and my unconscious brain, feels good.
... words, actions and thoughts matter ...
My ego took a good bruising last night when I got called out on the specific word, try. Try seems to be a word that has two meanings. Growing up, we were told to learn something, practice it and keep trying. Seemingly a ‘normal’ way to encourage to do better. Now, trying seems to presuppose a likelihood of failure, subconsciously planning to fail. The advice ... don’t try, DO
The language we use is a part of our software. So using it consciously and with precision can allow us to achieve things that we didn’t know we could. We begin to shift that internal monologue, chatter, script to a more compassionate path. We begin to believe we are capable.