" Important ... "

“ ... Maybe if I liked being alone 

I could give you your life back and let you go ... 

I guess I'm important, 

but what about them standing there they can't get in ... 

They're smiling at me, I guess they're used to this. 

Maybe I'll stop wondering when I'm gonna die.

Maybe then I'll stop holding so hard to my life.

Maybe next time I see my reflection my mind won't be with me ... “

~ Lisa Marie Presley ~ Important ~ 

***

Recently I was asked this question ... Who is the most important person?  As we pondered, the answer came back as the person in front of you right now.  Perhaps not the answer you would expect.  As we are taught that WE are the most important person in the world.  Yet consider this ... the most important person you will ever meet is the one in front of you ... the most powerful thing you will ever say is what you are about to say right now ... and the most important moment in your life is the one you are in at this time. 

We have been in situations where we drift into autopilot and zone out.  We are not fully present ... unless the situation changes.  A situation like when we meet someone with an impairment, with a disability or something that slows us down.  We may begin to articulate our words better, listen fully and simply soften up a bit.  We take better care to check for understanding.  We become more thoughtful in being present fully, so we don’t miss anything.  We allow the person in front of us to be the most important and what we say may be more thoughtful.  As for the moment, we only have this one ... and now the next ... and so on ...

Personally, I remember a time when the company I worked at had a Vice President with a speech impairment.  He was young and had suffered a stroke early in life.  He was working his way back AND he was our keynote speaker.  It took everything in the audience to listen fully, be present fully and completely aware of what was being said.  It made us truly listen, really listen.

So what if we took that approach in every interaction?  Not judging those in front of us, but giving ourselves fully and completely in the moment.  Are we able to slow the chatter in our minds?  And how much extra time would it really take?  Yet in a society that is about convenience, it can be a challenge for some to slow down.

Life is beautiful as it reflects back what is inward.  If we feel a void where we are not truly heard, it may be a time to explore if we are hearing ourselves.  Our higher self recognizes that those in front of us are another expression of the Divine.  So as we treat those in front of us as the most important person in that moment, we are truly giving this gift back to ourselves.

www.walkstrong.ca

" A Matter Of Trust … "

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will, it's just a question of when
I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
But that won't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust ...

Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why
Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust

~ Billy Joel ~ A Matter Of Trust ~ 

***

Suffering a betrayal of trust can be one of the most difficult times in your life ... and depending on the severity, some never recover.  Yet as we know ... life goes on, with or with out your participation.  And most of us recover ... sadly a bit more wounded, thankfully a bit more wiser.

As we move forward we decide if we are willing to give those that violate our trust another chance.  And regardless if they remain in our lives, it starts with forgiveness, because this is what leads to healing and restoration.

I remind myself that when I choose to rebuild a relationship, I choose to forgive what was and therefore make room for new memories ...

Trust is such a challenging thing to gain and once you lost it, some say it is impossible to regain.  Probably because wounds we gain from being hurt by those we love and admire run deep ... and not easy to get over ... but nothing is “impossible”.

So how do you rebuild trust?  You accept that you cannot change or fix the other person.  You take responsibility and apologize for your role in the situation.  You make an effort to not break future promises.  You become an active listener.  You put yourself in their shoes, empathize.

And when you have made a commitment to work on a fragile relationship the worst thing you can do is bring up past events.  If you say you have forgiven, it is unfair to bring up past mistakes.  Leave the past where it is, the past.

And be patient.  Allow the other person time ... time to understand, time to choose, time to reconcile, because regaining trust is a healing process and if the relationship is worth it, this too shall come.

" Recovery ... "

I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Hola if you feel that you’ve been down the same road

~ Eminem ~ Recovery ~ 

***

At the end of the year most of us reflect on the going ons we have experienced.  2011 has been a wild ride to say the least for us.  With the start of the year ringing in my diagnosis, the remaining has been full of discoveries and lessons.  Those around me that are in a similar situation will attest to the personal transformation that occurs at a very rapid pace.  The "shift" that happens is not gentle ... it is abrupt.  Initially I felt that my life has turned upside down.  But upon reflection, it actually turned right side up.  The naive thought of being immortal faced me head on when I was dealt the dreaded C word .... And the most profound thought for me is that cancer is a word and not a sentence ... initiating my personal healing.  

Looking forward to 2012, a beginning of a new year full of success, adventure and possibility.  Instead of planning for a new car, new home or renovations, I choose to plan my life ~ what I want to achieve and how I want to grow as a person.  You know the saying that "Life is a journey” ... so are you the driver or a passenger? ... do you pick an adventurous route or snooze in the back?  Rather than life developing and me existing, I can choose to make things happen the way I design them instead of leaving it all up to chance.

So how I going to set my intentions for the new year?  

Well I figure I have to set the mood, a time for me to feel peaceful, relaxed and uninterrupted.  Once in a positive state and open to possibilities, I will write down my achievements for 2011 and then ... reflect on them.  One year ago my life was full of uncertainty, quiet chaos, anxiety and fear .... now I have peace, gratitude, confidence, and love.  I will allow myself to celebrate my success this year ... a tough year, but could have been worse and the best part, I am getting thru it.  I read recently that once you are diagnosed, at that moment, you are a survivor.  Such an empowering feeling.  

I have been checking in, asking myself questions around my year ~ who, what, when and where ... not why, because there are no definitive answers to that question.  That is where my strong faith kicks in ... I read today that “every sorrow has a spiritual lesson, if you get the lesson, life gets easier ... if you don’t, the sorrow gets tougher” (thanks Oprah!).  

Next, I will think about the areas of my life that are important such as spirituality, relationship with friends/family, personal development, career, etc ... and consider where I am with each right now, today ... then thinking about how I would like to positively change each area.  

Imagine ~ Dream ~ Design.  So powerful and effective to make it Real.  I may entertain the use of a dream board to paint a vivid picture of exactly how it will look for me.  Supporting this process, by prioritizing what areas need immediate action, setting dates, the importance around it, etc can be helpful as long as I am being true to myself.

I think the next step will be the most challenging.  I will ask myself who will share my intentions with me.  In the past, I have found that some do not always support my “new design” and try to burst my bubble.  And it is not intentional, they just like life to be the way it is and do not want change.  They fear that I may fail and are too protective of me ... as I experienced this year where others may think it’s best for me to take a more conventional route and do things the way they understand.  I have realized that each person is an unique individual with their own set of life situations and challenges ... if we listen to and take negative comments of others, we are bound to struggle to achieve our intentions.  

Valued Lesson: I will share my intentions with those who will support me, encourage me and be inspired by me ♥

In wrapping up 2011, one word comes to mind ... BLESSED.  At this moment, I feel healthy, loved, safe and secure.  I choose to live in abundance of all good things and know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be.  

And what will my 2012 dream board look like? ... 

• pictures of how my life is going to be, what I will have, and what is important to me
• words that inspire me to dream big and take action ... and I will imagine the feelings surrounding those dreams

So till next year my friends ... may the light shine brightly in your heart and the upcoming year be full of powerful changes allowing you to let go of the past so your life can be richer and fuller with room for multiple blessings and joy.

We are the light of the world ~ so let us share it willingly, lovingly and unconditionally ♥ R.Bankapur

"Ego ..."

"It's too big 
It's too wide
It's too strong
It won't fit
It's too much
It's too tough 

Such a huge ego"

~ Beyonce ~ Ego ~ 

***

Development of a healthy ego starts from understanding emotions and dealing with them effectively because it is hard to maintain your confidence when you feel as though your emotions are getting the better of you.  So how we manage those emotions can make a critical difference physically and mentally on your well-being.  The emotions themselves are neutral ... it's the way we perceive them in their proper context so necessary information can be understood.  We understand what can be done to make a situation better because even lower energy emotions can promote healing.

It takes self-confidence to blaze your own path and assume all the risks and responsibility that comes with going it alone as mentioned in my last blog.  A healthy ego is an advantage when dealing with challenges both in the business and personal world.  But there is a fine line, or a delicate balance if tipped leading to too much ego which can then become a bit of a liability.  It is important to put yourself first, but at the expense of others?  We can debate on whether in the long run this would limit everyone's growth, even your own.


Along those lines, can someone else ego perhaps even narcissism stunt your emotional growth?  How is it possible that someone else fascination with themselves have such a profound effect on you?  Well, it is just not possible.  The reality is that maybe what you see in others as egotistical or narcissism is really your own feelings of inadequacy.  Maybe you are uncomfortable with someone else success because it is a reminder to you that you haven't reached that level yet of satisfaction.  Maybe, you are projecting these feelings instead of dealing with them head on.


Understanding that the ego is part of us that identifies with our body and the personality of ourself.  When the ego criticizes other people, the ego feels an equal measure of guilt when the roles are reversed.  To avoid feelings of inadequacy, we should not seek to just avoid doing the wrong thing, we should also seek to go beyond our ego ... this will enable us to detach from feelings of pride and humiliation.  This will help us to enjoy life, stop living up to the high expectations of the ego.

"If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego

and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the

need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge.

Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time."

 ~ Deepak Chopra

"Faith ..."

"Before this river 
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

Yes I've gotta have faith.."

~ George Michael ~ Faith ~

***

So we are now on week 19 of the Gerson Therapy ... yeah crazy how almost 5 months has passed on.  At times it feels quick and other times, it is so so slow.  Over the past weekend, I have been asked with care by friends "how much longer?".  I just smiled at them and said "as long as it takes".  Mainly because I don't know myself.  I struggle with this, wishing I could give a definitive answer, but the reality is that the therapy is a minimum of 18 months.  From what we have been told, the more toxins you have in your body, the slower your body heals because we need to detoxify first before we can rebuild our immune system.  It makes sense if you give it some thought, regardless if you agree with alternative treatments or not.  But I have blogged a great deal about the therapy, in detail, and the other areas of this blog provide more information for anyone that is interested - so I won't do that again today.  Because seriously, you do not have to be diagnosed with cancer to consider a form of nutritional therapy.   

At the moment I have been focusing on my FAITH.  And this is not a blog entry about a type of religion, or a representation of God ... I mean true FAITH  ... trust, hope and belief in the goodness, trustworthiness or reliability of a person, concept or entity.  Oddly, I have heard some say that Faith is the opposite of reason.  It is believing something you know isn't true.  That it is down in your heart, allowing yourself to accept something that you know with your mind could not be possible.  These are the same people that are so skeptical of the whole idea because they think of it as something not connected with the ordinary processes of the mind.  This whole viewpoint makes me sad for them ... closing themselves off from the experience of believing.  Maybe science has programmed them that seeing not feeling is the only believing.  But, just because you have faith, you do not put your intellect to sleep.  On the contrary, Faith is not an irrational thing ... it something we exercise every day in our lives and it began the moment we were born.  


You see when we are faced with challenges, adversities and difficulties, we will ALWAYS prevail IF we refuse to yield.  Society believes that when someone is diagnosed with an "incurable disease", the odds are stacked against them and a healthy life is next to impossible.  Statistics focus on mortality.  Why?  Because the core belief is that the universe is inherently evil.  Evil?  (Yeah ... stay with me on this one ..... )  
Yet, there is no inherent and permanent evil in the world ... infinite intelligence is GOOD all the time.  It is only when we turn away from infinite intelligence that the road becomes rocky.  So why do we like to "perceive evil" ... maybe it allows us to take the responsibility for our own destiny off our shoulders.  We choose to play the victim, you know the phrases "this always happens to me", "I knew this was coming", "I cannot do anything to change this" .... but for those of us that want to become healthy, happy and abundant, we must have no doubt that the universe is inherently good.  You see this realization can be difficult if you have allowed your lack-centered mind infect your subconscious mind.  At first you must believe it, then adhered to it, until it ripens into realization and knowing.


And I now know the sorrows of life can be great and at times, the universe is indeed dark - but sometimes we need the dark to appreciate the light.  Dark is not evil it is just ... well dark.  Our thoughts need organization and direction.  We must chose to supervise this process.  And when we do, our thoughts become obedient servants, leading us to the life we wish to live ... allowing us to tap into the natural order of the universe with is ... inherently good.  And when we stand face to face with truth, we understand that every challenge is a stepping stone to build character that allows us to ultimately triumph.    


Our sorrows can be conquered and used for greater good.  
When we accept these lessons for what they truly are, we manifest health, happiness and abundance we desire.  Evil is a mind virus.  For us to become strong, serene, and at peace, we must have no doubt that the universe is ruled by an Infinite Intelligence that is good.  


And for me this is accomplished by FAITH.