"Mindful ... "

“ ... in this weightless state

we form to become more mindful

connected to each other as one

the cycle completes 

our arms are lifted up

now we understand

to become more mindful

connected to each other as one

the cycle completes ... “

~ Born Of Osiris ~ Mindful ~ 

***

There is a new fad, and its called meditation also known as mindfulness.  Mindfulness is fairly new buzz word used to sell lots of ... stuff.  And as usual, the fad is marketed to you in a way that you can conveniently “fit it in” to your busy life.  

Yet what is at this heart-centre mindfulness?  Experienced meditators will say it is the notion of living for the moment, a carefree existence.  An appealing concept where most of our lives are full of chaos and yang.

With our environment becoming increasingly dis-tractable, meditation may well become a survival mechanism.  My truth is if I want to stay sane and healthy, I won’t be able to afford not to meditate.  

For many that are intimidated by mindfulness ... don’t know how to do it or for how long ... short stints of meditation can be transformative.  Trust me ... mindfulness can free you from the very thoughts you are trying to avoid.  

“Unhealthy thoughts can chain us to the past. We can, however, change our destructive thoughts in the present. Through mindfulness training we can recognize them as bad habits learned long ago. Then we can take the critical next step. We can discover how these obsessive thoughts cover our grief, insecurity, and loneliness. As we gradually learn to tolerate these underlying energies, we can reduce their pull. Fear can be transformed into presence and excitement. Confusion can open up into interest. Uncertainty can become a gateway to surprise. And unworthiness can lead us to dignity.” -- Jack Kornfield

And there is no “right” way to practice.  It is best to encounter each moment with a sense of starting again.  It is best to honour one’s own direct experience and not worry too much about whether this is what you are suppose to feel or see or think about.  

“If you practice this kind of trust in the face of insecurity and the strong habit of wanting some authority to anoint your experience with
his/her blessing, you will find that something of a deepening nature does happen along the path.” -- Kabat-Zinn

Let go of the preconceived notion that you will experience bliss.  Don’t even expect to feel better.  Just commit to the practice and LET GO.  Feelings of annoyance, boredom and even happiness may arise ... release them as they distract from the present moment.

"The answer to HOW is always in the present moment" -- Baptist Baron

With practice, you will hone the ability to stay neutral and objective by simply returning to the changing sensations of your breath.  This is where you realize that awareness of your busy mind is part of the practice.

" Research shows that being mindful can have tangible benefits, such as alleviating chronic pain and helping to curb depression and anxiety. Various studies have linked mindfulness practice to improvements in attention, eating and sleeping habits, weight management, and recovery from substance abuse. Research also suggests that mindfulness can help people cope better with heart disease, breast cancer, fibromyalgia, asthma and other conditions ... “

Practicing mindfulness in my everyday life has allowed me to understand the concept of self-acceptance ... and understand that we are messy creatures inclined to negative emotions at times.  It is of vital importance to me and my self-growth.  I find this to be perhaps the greatest appeal as it empowers me to ... step back, pause to assess the situation and recognize what I’m feeling.  This allows me to choose how to respond rather than letting my responses happen to me.

www.walkstrong.ca

" So Small … "

What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just want to give away
It's ok to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small

~ Carrie Underwood ~ So Small ~
***

Ever think about the first time you ever felt small?  You know an activity where you weren’t included, or bullied, or a time when something was said to you that ingrained itself into your moral fiber.  But what if what was said was just words and meant nothing?  What you were the one responsible for how you feel?  What if you are the one that gave them your consent?

We all know people who feel included by knowing rumours, empowered by knowing more information, and feel big by making someone else feel or look small in front of others.  

We all know people who don’t have a genuine belief in others, assume people can’t instead of can, assume people won’t rather than will, and see problems instead of potential.

And just think about the self talk.  What are we constantly telling ourselves?  What tapes keep running?  What movies are on replay?  Evaluating our self talk may be a start to not allowing ourselves to treat ourselves smaller.  As with all insecurities, thought patterns and habits take a lot of work, practice, and self-forgiveness to teach yourself to genuinely see your own awesomeness. For some of us it will be our life’s work.

Personally this is a struggle.  I have to work very hard not to give into every opportunity to criticize myself.  I am trying to give myself space before reacting, and see whether I can resolve it alone before asking for reassurance.  A very different approach but looking for better results.  I remind myself that I am loved, I am worthy and that I have my own strengths and own beauty ... and that everything gets easier with practice, even resisting the urge to make myself feel smaller.

" Rejection ... "

Aaaaaaaaha rejection

Aaaaaaaaha possession

I spent so much energy
On the frantic rivery
I should start on my grace ...
Can't you see ther's nothing more about me
Now it's time to seek and try to find a way ...
Before you turn your back on me I wanna get my energy

~ Martin Solveig ~ Rejection ~

***

Rejection is responsible for some pretty painful memories.  And it is unavoidable when dealing with other humans.  So instead of hiding from rejection, I realized it was time to learn how to handle it.

Once again fear comes up ... the fear of rejection and why we are so afraid.  And really that nasty voice in your head is just trying to protect you from repeating the same mistake ... maybe it is rejection by the world that you experience once before or maybe it is the public shame of being turned down.  

The reason rejection is so painful is that our minds start to jump to conclusions.  So it is important to think about why you were rejected instead of taking things personally.  Just think about all the times you have rejected people ... not on purpose, assuming they’ll understand because you know it wasn’t personal ... you were busy, distracted, had a lot going on.

Really ... rejection sucks and there is no other way of saying it.  And there are those who will never suffer from rejection but they never try, they never dare, they never step out of their comfort zone ... choice pain of rejection of pain of mediocrity, pain regardless.  Plus all of us want to be “liked” but statistics show that one in ten people won’t like us regardless what we do.  

So we know we can’t really avoid rejection ... but we can decide how we handle it.  And of course, rejection is a part of ... you guessed it, growth.  It helps you develop as a person, it helps you uncover blind spots and learn more about yourself.

Personally I now anticipate rejection.  It challenges me to set a high benchmark to what I do.  It forces me to push my boundaries.  It drives me to become better and not procrastinate.  In life the are always going to be naysayers so focus on the things you can action on and empower yourself.  Because there is always a reason behind the rejection.  So when it happens again ask yourself ... what can you do about it?  what have you learned about it?  how are you going to apply what you've learned?  what are you next steps?

Affirmation: rejection is a step forward to knowing what others want, what's out there in the reality, and how to improve myself to achieve my goals ...