" Slow Down ... "

“ ... Slow down, baby, now you're movin' way too fast

Baby what you're tryin' to do?

You better slow down!

Baby, now you're movin' way too fast ... 

Slow down, baby, now you're movin' way too fast ... “

~ The Beatles ~ Slow Down ~

***

There is something to be said for being viewed as “so strong”.  For the past five years, specifically since this cancer diagnosis, others tell me how strong I am, how brave I am, how courageous I am ... so what happens when the strong, courageous & brave get sick?  ... ah wait for it ... crickets.

... I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past ...

This year I completed my yoga teacher training.  It took most of the first quarter of 2015 and was really something that I did for me.  The training was phenomenal and intense.  I found myself along side twenty-somethings, trying to keep up.  Sometimes taking on two hot yoga classes a day, I knew I was pushing myself, but I felt strong and I felt capable.  I recognized that all my insecurities were on display and I had choices at times to cower and give up.  I didn't share with many that cancer lives with me.  I didn't want it to be a crutch, burden or reason to be any different.  And I had lost my close friend Mary earlier in the year. I knew her death was a push for me to do whatever I wanted to do, now. She inspires me to this day to live beyond a cancer diagnosis, to live life fully as long as I am alive.

“...dear God, if today I lose my hope today 

please remind me that your plans are better than my dream ... “

Then came the summer ... teaching classes at schools, visiting public places and ... I started coming down with a nasty cough.  Yet life seemed full of opportunities and I didn’t want to slow down.  But as we know, there is a time to rest and pay attention to your body.  Being sick is one of those times.  

So I kept pushing and working through whatever this body was going through and sometimes ignore the signs ... slow down.  Ignoring because deep down I had another voice wondering if I was simply running out of time?  The five year prognosis mark was creeping up, the time frame given for my mortality.

There doesn’t seem to be a clear-cut answer of what to “do” when sick.  Moderate exercise seems to kick start the immune system into fighting off yucki-ness.  But intense and vigorous exercise may increase your susceptibility to being sick. Everyone has a home remedy and the staunch medical professionals will tell you that you are too late to do anything ...

And of course I ask myself ... how and why?  A guess-timation of what the cause may be.  Perhaps wondering with all the natural goodness in my lifestyle, where sickness can find a home?  Simply a waste of time.  Because I finally realized that the big factor of stress has to be considered ... again.  Stress produces the hormone cortisol which turns off the production of cytokines, the molecules that encourage an aggressive immune response.  Stress of job changes, relationships losses and lifestyle changes, all nicely packaged with a big bow ... yeah a perfect environment to allow yourself to break the self down.

So ... personally speaking ... 6 to 8 weeks of trying to naturally fight off this “heaviness” has resulted in learning that when I am sick, the best approach is to lean into it, specifically lean into the pain when it appears.  This in itself has been a very difficult but awakening process.  Pain has truly been my teacher.  Days and long nights of intensity, realizing that there is no control only acceptance to what is occurring in that moment.  Resistance is futile! I have had to yet again, take inventory of my body and the stress levels in my life.  I have had hard conversations around this with loved ones, which initially can cause aversion but can help uncover where there may be opportunities to make changes.  I am grateful for those words of direct wisdom. Sometimes it is the unconscious, unsaid, unstated tension that starts to simply wear us down.  

With this in mind ... I ask those of you who are reading ... please take the time to take notice.  We are capable of many great things but there comes a time to take a load off.  Take notice and take care of YOU, now.  You don’t want to spend the first half of your life carelessly so that the rest of your life you have to make up for it.  Getting sick is a time to rest, recover and reflect.  Bring the body back to balance and trusting, this too shall pass.  But if we take note now, we can learn and attempt to prevent ourselves from dealing with a more sufferings like this in the future.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Rest ... "

“ ... You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best

I've been gone for a month

I need home for a rest ... 

There so-called vacations

By the light of the moon she'd drift through the streets

A rare old perfume so seductive and sweet

She'd tease us and flirt as the pubs all closed down

Then walk us on home and deny us a round ... “

~ Spirit of the West ~ Rest ~

***

Rest is not what most people think it is.  It isn’t recreation like hiking, watching TV, gardening, reading or getting wasted.  They may provide a restful space, but they are not rest.  

Rest can be defined as a kind of waking sleep, experience while you are alert and aware, like a bridge to sleep.  We achieve rest and sleep the same way, by allowing it to happen.  

When we rest, we allow our bodies to dissolve stress.  The body’s relaxation response can lead to physlogical changes, similar to yoga, meditation or a day on the beach.  

And the spiritual benefits of resting is profound.  When you slow down and get quiet, you can actually begin to hear you own inner knowledge.  When we make space in our lives, it helps us to make sense of life on life’s terms.

Having the ability to take a few conscious breaths, during which you focus on your inhalation and exhalation or the space between breaths ... 

Having the ability to make a statement and do nothing, does something for you.  Having the desire to put boundaries around so you can claim that time ... 

Most of us need to learn how to rest.  The more we integrate periods of rest and silence into our daily lives, the bigger the payoff will be.  And  during crisis, more rest and silence are called for.  It is similar to preventive medicine.  So important to make it intentional and make it a sacred time.  

The yang lifestyle can cause damage to our quality of life.  So this activity of REST, allows us to restore our body, mind and soul.  Concentrated rest confronts stress in both ways.  It reduces the demands of the situation  and it reduces our energy for that demand.  We have an opportunity to reflect, strive for balance, and again hold reserves for life’s emergencies.  

Properly developing a discipline of concentrated rest requires both inward and outward changes. So, stop focusing on what you don’t have and start enjoying the things that you do.  And plan your rest.  It is hard to simply be but test will come only from intentional planning and planning rest will come only if it is truly desired. 

Fortunately, we can decide that we are not a victim of time demands, we are creators and acceptors of them.  We can take responsibility of our life.  And so, we are as busy as we choose to be.  Embrace simplicity of a life that focuses on your values and not your possessions.  That concept in itself, will slow things down.

Remembering that rest is not a sign of weakness, but a vital choice to only further enhance your overall growth.  Living is when we starting enjoying rather than just producing ... resting included.

www.walkstrong.ca

"Patience ..."

"...little patience, mmm yeah, ooh yeah, 
I need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... ence, yeah
I've been walking the streets at night
Just trying to get it right ... 
Need some patience, yeah

I ain't got time for the pain ..."

~Guns N' Roses ~ Patience ~

***

Patience.  An interesting word.  Used in many ways.  Taught from a young age ... we must be patient.  But really it has never been easy to be patient, and probably even harder now than ever.  I can attest to that, currently in a therapy that is recommended for a minimum of 18 months or 78 weeks ... we are on week 34, and always counting...

You see in a world where messages can be sent across the globe instantly, seemingly everything is available with a few clicks of the mouse.  It's very hard not to expect instant satisfaction.  But patience remains a valuable tool in our lives.  We don't always get instant gratification, and some of the best things in life require years of hard work and waiting.  And fortunately, "patience is a virtue" that can be cultivated and nurtured.  Yeah right?  how many times have you heard "I have no patience", or "I just want it now" ... well it is possible.  But it takes time to fulfill this goal ... isn't that ironic?  ... Yet, once you have conquered this, it will become second nature.  And the bonus is that you won't be disappointed at what life can offer you with some spare time.  You will be surprised by how boring, restless and lagging hours can evolve into a passing time of relaxation and peace of mind.

Curious?  yes!  read on ...

(1) Ask why you are in such a hurry?  It appears that we tend to lose our patience when we are multitasking or on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos.  If you are stretching yourself too thin, re-do your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation.  Try to do your tasks one at a time, and delegate your responsibilities to share the load. 

(2) Try to recognize the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience.  Impatience is like a slow growth, it creeps up on you.  And if you feel anxious, worried or unhappy you may not even realize the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience.  Raise your awareness ... which events, people, phrases or circumstances trigger you.  At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting.  But remember to ask yourself, whose realities are these?

(3) Overcome bouts of impatience.  Yes, one of the hardest things to do, but by developing patience, your outlook and attitude about life shifts.  Start by learning how to relax when you feel impatient.  Take a few deep breaths and clear your mind.  Concentrate on breathing and you'll start to get your bearings.

(4) If it is out of your control, let go.  Just let it go.  Easier said than done but it's the only healthy thing you can do.  Practice makes perfect and you will gradually develop the strength to remain patient in the most difficult situations.

(5) Mental note for self ... things take time.  Getting things done now and not wasting time doesn't apply to every situation.  Some things just can't be rushed.  I realize that almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you're impatient, you're more likely to give up on relationships, goals and other things that are important to you.  

(6) Expect the unexpected.  Ah yes, this has definitely been my journey.  I had plans and last I checked, they didn't include battling cancer.  Life lesson, things don't always work out as planned.  I accept the twist and turns in life ... gracefully.  And I keep my expectations realistic.  This not only applies to my current situation, but also to the behaviour within and around me.

(7) Remember what matters most.  Focusing on what matters most in this life fuels patience.  Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most.  Take time to remember any one of these items can reduce our tendency to want something different right now.

(8) Have a positive outlook on life.  Remember that you will eventually get what you want.  Everything works out in the end, for a Higher Purpose.  Yes, this requires maturity and patience to understand and accept.  If you work hard at something, this may be the truth, but most of the time you have to be patient to get what you want.  Our destinations are constantly moving so remember that Life is a journey to be savoured each step of the way.

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