" Shake It Off ... "

But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving

It's like I got this music in my body and it's gonna be alright

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate ... 

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

I'll never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet

And that's what they don't see mmm, that's what they don't see mmm ... 

I, I shake it off, I shake it off

~ Taylor Swift ~ Shake It Off ~

***

When you feel no need to defend your thoughts, opinions, or ideas, you can deal with life knowing that you are empowered, your faith is strong, and you are able to shake “it” off.  

Faith comes from our own ability to recognize the influence the world has around us actually comes from within us.  Rather than being driven to prove our place, we become confidant in our actions, behaviours and words.  So when life events occur, we tap into that place to manage, cope and deal.

The need to engage in confrontations or conflict, and trying to defend ourselves is no longer required.  We have confidence in the moment and secure with our personal power.  

We don’t feel the need to be right, or teach a lesson, or point out a mistake, or preach.  We learn that every one has their own journey full of successes and failures to experience.  We learn that we are in no position to judge, unless we open ourselves up to be judged.  We learn loving compassion and kindness for those that disagree with our point of view.  We find that people can have different opinions, but still respect one another.  And we learn that the we have very little control of an outcome.

For those whom don’t resonate with these ideas, subconsciously we all demonstrate faith, daily ... if we are blessed to live another day.  When catastrophes happen, we don’t fall apart, even if we think we may.  We are only as strong as we allow ourselves to be and what we believe will manifest ...

Personally, I started with developing a trustworthiness of the Universe.  I opened my mind and heart to the possibility of anything.  I detached myself from the outcome, and began to take notice along the way.  And I freed myself of others through forgiveness and listened to my heart’s deep desire.  I realized that no one is perfect and expecting myself and others to live up to a fictitious standard results in suffering.  

By living each day in a state of unshakable faith, it grows to support me when facing predicaments ... it is a practice, a practice of gratitude for what is and appreciation for whatever comes.  When you find yourself fully immersed in this space, faith is ... unshakable ... 

www.walkstrong.ca

" How ... "

There’s a time and place

For one more sweet embrace

And is time ... 

Time can come and take away the pain

But I just want my memories to remain

To hear your voice

To see your face

There’s not one moment I’d erase ... 

How can I forget your love?

How can I never see you again?

~ Regina Spektor ~ How ~

***

I’ve heard a lot of talk about checking things off your bucket list.  Making sure you have the experience, while you can, before you go.  And it makes sense, as I’ve myself talked about as well ... but I also believe it’s not only about checking things off your bucket list, its about being present in every moment.

Being present in every moment allows you to fully experience the now.  Sounds simple, but as most of us know by now, difficult to stay present when there are many many many things to distract you into the past or future.

So how do you live your life ... bucket list or presence?  Most will answer, presence of course.  But when was the last time you couldn’t call a friend because you were busy planning your trip, from your bucket list?  You know you’ll get to it, eventually, yet eventually sometimes doesn’t come.  And so you have all these wonderful experiences you can broadcast all over social media, to social media friends ... and completely be disconnected from society.  We’ve all either read about it, or are the one writing it at some time ...

For some, an opportunity to detach from relationships and check out LIFE.  For others, there is a quest for balance.  To be able to do what you want to do and share with those you wish to share with.  Yet life seem so busy for so many.  I hear from others how their lives are full of ... stuff.  Stuff that causes suffering.  But this suffering is familiar.  So on with the busy-ness of life.  And that is “how” most of us live ... busy planning out next experience.

But, hey you are the only judge regarding “how” you live your life ... thrive on adventure or human connections.  You have the free will, how you live your life.  But does your how bring regrets?  Regrets that you didn’t spend enough time, you didn't put enough energy into, you didn’t say what you have to say, or you didn’t do what you wanted to do ...

Is it as simple to decide in this very moment “how” you will pass each moment going forward?  Simple concept that requires moment by moment practice .

Move with purpose, have an intention ...

How we live our lives is an example of who we are, not what we say we are going to do, or going to be ... but how.  How we live and how we treat others.  And it is never too late ... to change how you want the rest of your life to be.

" Inside The Cynic ... "

“I hear my poisons in the multitude

Why was I damned a human deemed too rude

Somewhere between the madness and my mind

I live with legions called the human kind

I wander aimlessly amongst the herd

Infesting shadows, I am undeterred

I give opinion cuz you give no peace

They say we manifest the new dis-ease

See the lies you've given me

This is not what I should be

You say your truth isn't mine

Everything, everything, everything you says's a lie”

~ Stone Sour ~ Inside The Cynic ~

***

Cynic’s are often portrayed as pessimistic, but a healthy dose of skepticism does help, a dose of caution.  And the original definition of cynicism was’t about seeing the world in a pessimistic way as much as advocating a simpler lifestyle in the pursuit of virtue.  Today, cynic’s are thought of those who always believe the worst in humanity.

Do you believe with cynicism has it’s place or do you believe it is just a disgruntle view on a popular trend or maybe just a grumpy disposition?  Human conditioning almost always leads us to a negative outlook before a positive one.  

So where did all this cynicism come from?

Lack of trust ... spend an evening with a few cynical people and you will realize that they are a special breed of person.  You may even know the type if you are not one yourself.  Because a true cynic ... distrusts EVERYTHING new they see or hear ... they are intolerant of new ideas ... and they are pessimistic about EVERYTHING.  And all this usually occurs when we are emotionally vulnerable.  It is a coping mechanism, a way to protect themselves.  And sadly, the more negativity they see in the world, the more likely they are to share that disposition with others.

Reflecting on a previous post on being selective ... you will usually become like the 5 people you hang out with.  So choose wisely.  Cynical people tend to surround themselves with other cynical people.  It’s worth considering what impact these social relationships have on you.  

From personal experience, I have had many cynical friends over the years.  Those friends were funny in my younger years, but as life continued, that cynicism and negativity wore on the friendship.  It was hard to kick the habit, but I am SO grateful they are no longer in my life.

You may be thinking that this is not you, and not your social circle.  If so, bravo! ... just honestly ask yourself ... do you spend the bulk of your time complaining about things, do you whine about trivial mishaps from the day, or do you resent anything new.  Because cynicism is the easiest of all reactions, but also the most self-defeating one.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Perfect ... "

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, Misplaced, Misunderstood
Miss no way it's all good
It didn't slow me down.

Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Less than perfect

~ Pink ~ Perfect ~
***

If we are honest with ourselves, we would admit that we all have suffered some form of PMS ... yes, including the male population.  PMS ... Perfect Moment Syndrome.

Not what you were expecting I imagine, but when you get angry because things don’t go your way and your regrets start to mount, you are well on your way to wishing, hoping and striving for that. one. perfect. moment ... and it never comes.

So we get disappointed, we may wish for solitude, and then we venture out and try again.  Hopefully wiser, but not always.  And so the cycle continues.

Experiencing PMS is habitual as well.  We have the odd assumption that we actual have control over anything in our lives.  We don’t.  Anything and Everything is impermanent.  Perhaps a depressing and/or liberating thought ... depending on where you are in your journey.  And we know that although our intentions “next time” will be different, we may get caught in the same silly cycle.  

we never step into the same river twice ... 

due to the impermanence of all that is life ...

So how do we make the moment more manageable?

Truly savour the moment as it is, accepting its impermanent nature.  Don’t cling, don’t grasp because your focus will be on the what will be lost rather than be in the moment.

Logically how do we define perfection?  One persons perfect moment could be another’s disaster.  It really is about changing your perspective.  Leaning towards how full our lives are, rather than how empty they are until.  A very easy concept to understand, but from experience, twice as hard to practice.

Choosing to wait for the perfect moment, or to give it all you have now is up to you.  Yet when we look at the fragility and unpredictability of life, we may ask ourselves ... do we really think we have time?

From imperfections comes learning's, insights, realizations, exploration and adventure.  Sure there will and are challenges ... but what you decide to do with those challenges is what matters.  Hopefully with less and less attachment to the outcome.

Perhaps this viewpoint will allow this practice to be ... well, almost perfect.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Responsible ... "

If for just a moment, you had to be responsible

For all the things you've said and done.

Would you sit back and relax or fasten all your safety belts?

Everybody's judgement comes.

Maybe in this moment you're feeling irresponsible

for all the things you've said and done.

"I am a wrecking ball, I've run the guillotine, 

and I blame everything just to keep my hands clean.

Maybe for a moment you need to feel responsible

for all the things you've said and done.

~ Cloud Cut ~ Responsible ~ 

***

So if no one is in charge of your happiness but you ... 

can you make yourself happy? ...

In the past, looking to others to boost your mood is a recipe for disaster.  Waiting for others to notice that you are down and expecting them to make you feel better.  You see, relying on others actually made me feel worse, because it was impossible for them to know what would make me feel good.  And even if they tried, it was never truly satisfying ... and conditionally on them, where you lose your own power.

Acceptance ... it was up to me to make my day and life better.  

And I had come to this realization but had no clue where to start or what to do.  

So I started by being still and listen.

I realized it was about taking responsibility ... because others had their own responsibilities, themselves, to be concerned with.  Figuring out what makes you feel good, what makes you smile again, requires honesty ... real honesty, with yourself, rather than blaming someone else.  Once you are able to make yourself feel better than you no longer need to wait for it ... you can create & enjoy it on your own.

I realized it was about listening to my needs ... too many times of waking up in a funk, feeling tired, down, and just plain blah.  So I asked ... what would make me feel better now ... and I wait for the response in stillness where it presents itself.  By asking the question and then listening to what you need means you not only devote your energy in the moment to caring for yourself but also start to trust that you’ll be able to take care of yourself consistently, no matter what is happening around you. 

I realized it was about being grateful for what I have ... because what makes me think I would be happier with having more?  Practicing gratitude helps to shift your mood, helps to get you unstuck and simply gives you a new perspective on whatever it is that is consuming your life.  

We have the choice to live in the world, each day, as we wish.  We can either be dragged along with it or take responsibility for how it unfolds.  Make the commitment, take the time and turn making yourself happy a daily practice of self- care, because frankly, it is YOUR responsibility to bear.

www.walkstrong.ca

" All Would Envy … "

She was treated like a queen

Anything she ever wanted ...

And everyone expected soon

That she could ask him for the moon ...

Yes, all would envy

... She lived a life she'd only dreamed

The life was never what it seemed

To all her friends that she'd ignored

She denied she was bored ...

Who would envy?

~ Sting ~ All Would Envy ~ 

***

There is an old East Indian saying, “Nazar Na Lag Jaaye”, loosely translated, 

“Don’t Get Effected With Any Bad Eyes” ... in other words ... ENVY.

At a time when it seems all are taking compassion, kindness and peace ... envy is so rampant.  Because if we are truly honest with ourselves, we are either envious of something or someone, or being envied … be careful, don't let your green show!

Envy is considered a negative feeling, coming from insecurity and a sense of loss or lack.  Amplified during times of economic and/or social crisis.  And envy doesn’t dissipate with time.  Because envy stems from greed.  Envy is wanting something belonging to another.  Feelings of inferiority, loneliness, distrust, suspicious, ill will, resentment, bitterness and anger rise.  Followed by shame and guilt.  All rolled up into a ball of stress, which is doesn’t do anyone any good.

So what can we do because there will always be someone prettier, thinner, smarter, funnier, oh and richer than you … no problem, this is the human experience!
Hooray, we are human!  

Humour aside, the first to remember is that just because you feel these emotions, doesn’t mean you are a bad person.  It is about taking accountability for yourself.  Realize that this is happening and YOU are letting it happen!  Yes YOU are the cause of your own suffering.  I know, it sucks, believe me, I had my epiphany a while back (thanks to my Guru!!) … It is about developing feelings of gratitude and appreciation for what you have rather than what you want.

True happiness is state of being, not a state of having.

Remember everyone has a story, a challenge, a dream, a journey.  Remember that your light will not shine brighter when blowing out someone elses.  It is about finding out their story ... why they do what they do, why they have what they have.  
Maybe it is even about finding out HOW and making it happen for yourself?

Personally, I am happy for the success of others, but it took work, to come from a place of darkness to a place of love.  I think that is why I continue to freely write and share what I can with whomever is interested even though I've been criticized, ridiculed, mocked, copied and ignored … And yes it is easy to want what another blogger or writer has, but I know that life isn’t meaningful because of what we have, it is meaningful because of who we are ... I know my happiness does not depend on how well known I am, rather about who I am, writing, sharing and serving others.

I choose to create good for myself 

by celebrating who I am and what I do for others

www.walkstrong.ca

" So This Is Christmas … "

So this is Christmas
And what have you done?
Another year over
And a new one just begun

And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young ...

And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear ...

~ John Lennon ~ So This Is Christmas ~ 

***

So this is Christmas, well soon enough.  Yet I have to admit I am not a huge fan.  Okay I know, I will take a lot of flak for not liking Christmas, but I think I am just misunderstood.  I actually like Christmas ... I just don’t like that it is imaginary, temporary and means little to some ... I just don’t like how distorted it has become.

You see, I fully respect the true spirit of Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ.  It’s just all the fake stuff that tags along I could do without.  After the evening of the 25th, it’s over.  We then get to look forward to the next holiday all while boxing up decorations and waiting in the dreaded return lines.  I guess the real reason is that once Christmas is over, you realize that nothing has changed.  Christmas changed nothing ... you are still you, your context is still your context and whatever thorn in your side is still there!

Plus over the years I’ve run out of good gift ideas, gotten fed up with the shopping mall feeding frenzy and just been upset at all the ungrateful people … 

So maybe Christmas can change things because it has meaning ... for everyone, not just Christians.  Christmas is a “birth-day” and a life worth remembering because He undeniably lived and affected an infinite number of lives.

The great irony and paradox of Christmas, of learning to live compassionately … we don’t give to the poor; they give to us.

So maybe amid the bustle and hustle, we can rekindle the real spirit of the season by ...

Keep a candle burning ~ The constantly burning flame, holding back the darkness, is a potent symbol of life in the heart of winter. 

Support a worthy cause ~ Make a donation in someones name to an organization you know they'd like to support.

Write a letter to your past ~ Now is the ideal time to write a note to someone you wished you’d thanked for a kindness you’ve remembered

Give a gift that's really needed ~ Often we buy people presents just for the sake of buying them something but the idea is to match the service with the person's need. 

Plant a real Christmas tree ~ A lovely way to remember this Christmas, this could also make a great last-minute gift for a nature-loving friend. 

Eat by tree light ~ After the tree is decorated, have a meal around it. Turn off all the lights except for those on the tree, and admire its beauty.

Keep Christmas Eve simple ~ Instead of slaving to prepare a fantastic spread on Christmas Eve as well as Christmas Day, suggest a simple meal ... that way, you'll have more time to relax and enjoy each other's company.

" Closure ... "

Give me closure

Searching for solace

Closure - am I still lost? 

And so you've forgotten me ...

For these lifetimes gone by

I can't help question why

Through the years denied this

Tears gone uncried

Torrid inside

And no face to relate to names to reply

Especially when the memories

Cut like a knife

Left with just pages to which I confide

~ Divine Heresy ~ Closure ~

***

Closure ... having to severe the energetic cord that once connected you to another.  I read that “this unbroken cord may leave an open channel between you and another, through which emotions and energy can continue to flow” (Daily OM).

Not knowing how to put a proper end to a relationship can influence any healthy relationship planned in the future.  It is like having an “open account” ... which is when you are afraid of truly letting someone go because you always want to have that access, afraid you might miss out.

Sadly some relationships evolve from mutually supportive and life-giving bonds to unhealthy scenarios.  Endings that are abrupt or subtle, via e-mail, phone or in person, with words or silence ... all need to be mourned and processed.  It still hurts and deserves closure and peace, especially if there was no real good-bye.

So when you are ready, cutting this “cord” can help you rid of old baggage, unnecessary attachments and release you from connections that no longer serve you.  

Start with acceptance and adjustment.  You have to come to the realization that it is over.  Respect the time spent and accept the fact that this chapter of your life has now come to and end.

Next, identify with what the experience has taught you instead of dwelling on the pain.  Visualize all the benefits and be proud of yourself.  Pat yourself on the back for having the courage to work through it and tell yourself that your future is so much better than your past.

Finding and cutting unwanted “cords” can be a gentle process.   Just start to believe that you are not severing a relationship, but you are severing the connection that is no longer serving you both.  You are setting yourself and others free from the ties that bind.

You see, closure looks forward by letting go and moving on.  That is what closure gives us.  We may have gone through the grieving process but still not have the closure we need.  By recognizing, accepting, understanding, integrating and practicing gratitude, we can come full circle to experience closure.

Closure helps it all make sense. It turns something seemingly broken into something useful, purposeful, and lovely.  A different perspective, a lesson learned, a new beginning ...

" Go On ... "

Just go on

There are still so many things

I wanna to say to you

But go on, Just go on

The moment that we start ...

What is the purpose of my life

If it doesn't ever do

With learning to let it go ...

You can do the same

It's the least you can do ...

So go on, Just go on ...

The moment that we start

~ Jack Johnson ~ Go On ~

When faced with life’s painful challenges, we often wonder if there is an end in sight.  Coping requires emotional endurance ... “the ability to keep an ordeal of indefinite length from sapping your emotional health”.  And sometimes you need someone to help you when saying “this too shall pass?” isn’t enough.  Thankfully, that help is present in my life from my friend Ally.

Our loving walks and talks cover a wide range of topics.  And recently we discussed the significance of emotional endurance ... how sometimes you lose the ability to take life's ups and downs in stride emotionally.  Staying strong for a long journey takes work and some days it is far from easy.  We talked about how it was important to focus on the positive, but it was okay to not always feel positive ...

Many can relate to emotional spectrum aka mood swings, ranging from curiosity to exhaustion, excitement to fear, light heartiness to sadness.  We all have “something” going on in our lives.  Every day is different, requires adjustments and quick thinking.  

So how do you cope and keep going on?  Here are some things I am now practicing ...

• write down every concern you have, sort them and focus your attention on those that matter most and those you can do something about
• give yourself credit for your efforts, especially when the ultimate goal is far away
• seek the good wherever you can find it and cultivate a habit of gratitude
• practice a sense of humor and focus on a positive future and the willingness to grow

You don’t have to pretend that you never have a bad day and you don’t have to be judged for having one.  Solutions are rarely immediate and perfect and sometimes we need to slog along in the swamp ... and just keep going on ...

We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough ~ Helen Keller