" How ... "

There’s a time and place

For one more sweet embrace

And is time ... 

Time can come and take away the pain

But I just want my memories to remain

To hear your voice

To see your face

There’s not one moment I’d erase ... 

How can I forget your love?

How can I never see you again?

~ Regina Spektor ~ How ~

***

I’ve heard a lot of talk about checking things off your bucket list.  Making sure you have the experience, while you can, before you go.  And it makes sense, as I’ve myself talked about as well ... but I also believe it’s not only about checking things off your bucket list, its about being present in every moment.

Being present in every moment allows you to fully experience the now.  Sounds simple, but as most of us know by now, difficult to stay present when there are many many many things to distract you into the past or future.

So how do you live your life ... bucket list or presence?  Most will answer, presence of course.  But when was the last time you couldn’t call a friend because you were busy planning your trip, from your bucket list?  You know you’ll get to it, eventually, yet eventually sometimes doesn’t come.  And so you have all these wonderful experiences you can broadcast all over social media, to social media friends ... and completely be disconnected from society.  We’ve all either read about it, or are the one writing it at some time ...

For some, an opportunity to detach from relationships and check out LIFE.  For others, there is a quest for balance.  To be able to do what you want to do and share with those you wish to share with.  Yet life seem so busy for so many.  I hear from others how their lives are full of ... stuff.  Stuff that causes suffering.  But this suffering is familiar.  So on with the busy-ness of life.  And that is “how” most of us live ... busy planning out next experience.

But, hey you are the only judge regarding “how” you live your life ... thrive on adventure or human connections.  You have the free will, how you live your life.  But does your how bring regrets?  Regrets that you didn’t spend enough time, you didn't put enough energy into, you didn’t say what you have to say, or you didn’t do what you wanted to do ...

Is it as simple to decide in this very moment “how” you will pass each moment going forward?  Simple concept that requires moment by moment practice .

Move with purpose, have an intention ...

How we live our lives is an example of who we are, not what we say we are going to do, or going to be ... but how.  How we live and how we treat others.  And it is never too late ... to change how you want the rest of your life to be.

" Understanding … "

You hold the answers deep within your own mind.

Consciously, you've forgotten it.

That's the way the human mind works.

Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us

to entertain, we reject it.

We erase it from our memories.

But the imprint is always there.

Can't wash it all away

Can't Wish it all away

Can't hope it all away

Can't cry it all away

In our mutual

Shame we hide our eyes

To blind them from the truth

That finds a way from who we are ...

~ Evanescence ~ Understanding ~

***

Why is it that trying to understand the behaviour of some people is like trying to smell the color 9?  Seriously.  I recently saw some one whom I knew for a very very long time.  We were good friends, some may have even thought best friends ... we have a lengthy history but we no longer are in each others lives.  And what happened ... I got ignored.  Yep, ignored.

But I think the interesting thing was the environment.  Their energy was odd and the scenario was random.  And once I realized who this person was, they had sailed by, pretending to not know me and who I was.  Really if you think about it they were right ... they don’t know me, not anymore.  And, perhaps they never did.  Afterwards, I felt unsettled, with a physical sensation of nausea and fear.  My body was shaking and speaking to me ... and I listened.

I listened because I now understand.  I understand how difficult behaviour can manifest itself as rudeness, open anger and even aggression.  And like all negative forces, these attitudes and behaviour tend to be contagious.  They drain collective energy, foster misconceptions, bring out the worst in others and spark conflict … no thanks.

Perhaps the randomness was the universes way of saying ... 

• be grateful for what was and appreciate what is
• see how far you have come
• don’t look back, there is nothing there for you
• you made the right decision
• don’t settle
• you deserve better

There is no unfinished business when there is no business.  We tend to romanticize the past, wish, hope or cry for what was instead of accepting what is.  For me, acceptance is not the issue ... it is the lack of general consideration, kindness and compassion for another human being ... reminder: what they think of me is none of my business.

Ultimately, it is a true test of oneself when you can still have grace and compassion for someone who treats you poorly ... a measure as to how far you have come and perhaps how far they still need to go.

" Peace ... "

Just look at me

I am walking of incoming

Look at the frequencies of which I vibrate

I'm going to light up the world

Peace will come to me

Peace will come to me

Just look at me

I am a living act of holiness

Giving all the positive virtues that I possess

I'm going to light up the world

~ Depeche Mode ~ Peace ~

***

I know how exhausting it is to carry around useless, pointless and harmful thought forms.  All it does is occupy my mind and bring stress and grief along the way.  So I was quite thrilled to learn I am not alone, thanks some amazing friends, realizing we are all guilty, participating in this self-induced torture at some point in our lives.  

Looking back at your past, there may be guilt, shame or regret which feed these negative thought forms.  Feelings around things that you should have done but you didn’t do.  The people you should have valued more, the words you should have never said.  It is what it is ... so now “how do you start making peace with your past?”  

I am making a conscious effort to eliminate the thoughts of negativity that I harbour.  Yes, it is work in progress.  Fortunately, a great healing source asked me some profound questions:

• how can someone’s image of you affect you negatively without your permission?
• what is it that is causing your pain?
• what did you lose/gain?
• did you grieve/mourn when you needed to?
• are you ready to forgive?

I realize that facing my feelings head-on helps.  Flashback ... I remember exactly what I felt.  Vividly.  But what if I actively alter those feelings by changing the way I view the events in the past.  Remember not the actual events of the past but the way I view the event.  For example, instead of thinking about how much I hurt, I can think of how far I have come and what challenge I was  able to overcome all by myself.  I realize that my past shapes my future but it is up to me to choose the kind of shape I want to live with.  

I believe that making peace with your past is possible ... that we are not controlled by what happened ... that we are in charge of our present and future.  I understand the hurts in my past does not deter me from moving on, and really, life does go on ...

We can make an affirmative decision to go forward on a path of light, goodness and healing.  Detach our fears of past inadequacies and participate in the the closure phase of forgiveness.  Put down our battle swords and pick up beaming candles of light and healing.  Arm ourselves with a shield of light and love.  By committing to this spiritual practice, we embrace each connection as a divine assignment and will begin to heal ourselves and those around us.

Let go and Let the Uni-verse decide ... Leave room for miracles to happen ॐ