Thursday, February 7, 2013

" Jealousy ... "

Oh jealousy look at me now
Jealousy you got me somehow
You gave me no warning
Took me by surprise
Jealousy you led me on
You couldn't lose you couldn't fail
You had suspicion on my trail

Oh jealousy you tripped me up
Jealousy you brought me down
You bring me sorrow you cause me pain
Jealousy when will you let go?
Gotta hold of my possessive mind ...

How how how all my jealousy
I wasn't mad enough to let you hurt my pride
Now I'm only left with my own jealousy
But now it matters not
If I should live or die
'Cause I'm only left with my own jealousy

~ Queen ~ Jealousy ~
It is probably safe to say that we’ve all experienced some form of jealousy in our lives.  Whether we are the ones that were jealous, or someone jealous of us.  But do you want to know that the reasons for jealousy can be?

Uncertainty.  Low self-esteem.  Possessiveness.  Arrogance.  

When a person has a rather negative self-image, jealousy appears as a rescue attempt.  A person who thinks of themselves in an inferior way believes they don’t deserve the relationship.  Therefore they feel they will be abandoned.  Some people go as far as with this belief that they self-sabotage.  Their illusion becomes their reality.  Their insecurity of their role or position in the relationship leads them to questioning everything about it.

Sometimes the “too popular” partner can create a jealous reaction.  When you have a popular, communicative and extremely sociable person who is admired by all, it can generate feelings of envy and jealousy.  Feelings of not wanting to share your time with this person with others due to the constant attention they receive.

But probably the most destructive extreme of jealousy comes from possessiveness.  This can lead to an unhealthy relationship of dependency ... happens when the other checks upon you, controls you, dominates and subdues you emotionally.  Such people are arrogant as they subtly destroy the self confidence of the other person.  

So how do you or your loved one overcome jealous without losing your relationship? 

It begins with awareness.  Awareness allows you to see that the projected “illusions” in your mind are not true.  By changing what you believe you change what your imagination is projecting and you can eliminate these destructive emotional reactions.  
  • Take a step back from the “story” and shift your point of view.  
  • Address the beliefs that trigger jealousy instead of attempting to control your emotions.  
  • Take your personal power back so that you can get control and refrain from reactive behaviours.  

Regardless, the willingness to change unhealthy behaviours will happen when you have the desire to do so ... you just have to first decide if the relationship is still worth fighting for ...

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