" My body, my choice, my life, my death ... "

my body, my choice, my life, my death

Waking up this morning to the news of Jessica Ainscough passing away was heart breaking.  Jessica had survived a rare cancer diagnosis for 7 years.  At 22 years old, she was diagnosed with epithelioid sarcoma in her arm and shoulder.  Jess elected not to have an amputation and instead pursued the Gerson Therapy.  I was first introduced about Jess in 2011 while visiting the Gerson Clinic in Tijuana, Mexico.  I’ve been inspired by Jess through her motivational speaking, blogging and book, Make Peace With Your Plate. 

With this sad news circulating within social media, many are quick to voice their opinions on what should and should not have done.  And loads are voicing in on their view on “alternative treatment” and the quackery behind it ...

Yet what ever happened to leaving space and time for others to heal?  How important is it to share your view on what you think when a young woman has enough courage to stand her ground in the face of adversity?  Do the “I told you so” pundits feel vindicated?  Does it feel good to “predict” a young woman’s death years ago only to dig it up in a juicy article, slamming anything other than conventional treatment?  How do you know her death could have been “prevented” or she could have been “saved” if she was more “transparent” in her life?

my body, my choice, my life, my death

I find it curious when critics say that Jess’s choices were misguided, insane and selfish.  I find it curious when the same critics have NEVER walked in her shoes ... why not ask one of us who actually live with cancer how life really is?   

Jess was one of those who lived life fully despite what reality presented itself.  Death at a young age is only tragic when those who leave us have potential to do so much more.  And although Jess was only 30, the impact that this courageous woman has left in my life is beyond words.  Whether these words silence or arouse you, for me, Jessica Ainscough was an amazing health and wellness advocate.  Her courage, conviction and love for life was, and will continue to be, incredibly inspirational.  She was a powerful example of what trusting in yourself regardless of the possibilities is all about.  She lived for what she believed in ... 

my body, my choice, my life, my death

" New Realization ... "

The time has come to reach a new realization 'tween me and you
Time to clear the rumors, sensations, and things that just are untrue

Well I thought I heard you behind me with a knife straight for my back
It's quite clear that I'm back in the swing of living ...
You may hold some vision of truth, if truth can found in a lie
Maybe some grain of inspiration, for song that's deep inside

Oh, passions there for those who want to
Pay the price of loving you in more ways than one

A mind is a precious thing to taste

~ Sublime ~ New Realization ~ 

***

I remember when I was younger I always wanted to work in the health field.  I wanted to dedicate my life to helping others.  Yet those that know me, know that this is not where my career took me.  Instead, I followed the promises for great money, fame and fortune.  I was driven by greed and thought I would build my life first ... security, wealth, etc ... and then work on helping others later.

But just when I had it all figured out, life had other plans.

And so since this diagnosis, I have had countless realizations.  I try to share as many as I can in my writings, but I have also realized that some of the best things that happen to you, you just can’t put into words. 

Yet those you do share with are more special than the experience.  Because those special people stayed and didn’t fade away.  Because they didn’t drop out of your life.  Because they believed in you more now than before you got sick.  

So I’ve asked myself if there is room in my heart to have compassion 

for those who cannot face the ugliness of cancer?  

So I’ve asked myself how much anger can I have for those who fear my mortality?  

In the beginning, I dreaded the idea of being alone ... I felt that isolation was a type of punishment which affirmed why I got cancer.  I felt abandoned.  And that fear of the possibility of being left behind in childhood, started to manifest.

And then ... clarity ... the way life was unfolding, the way relations were changing, the way life was expanding and contracting ... THIS exact space and time was were the healing would begin.  
It was the source.  And it only required me.  

real lies... realize ... real eyes

I started to notice a difference.  Again hard to put into words.  I just  stopped feeling like a victim.  My inner voice spoke to me saying “if you created this, you can heal it.  It didn’t matter what any ONE believed.  It didn’t matter.  Those words like abandonment & loneliness, which stemmed from my fear, started being replaced with forgiveness & love all around.

I knew I had to let go of the anger, the jealousy, the guilt and the shame ... 

I knew I had to let go of the chaos, drama and expectations ...

I knew I had to let go of them ...

www.walkstrong.ca

" Competition ... "

She's got no idea where you've been

No idea what you've been doin'

You've been living dangerous

You're trying to keep it just our secret ..

You better learn to be discreet

If you wanna keep it just our secret ...

Goodness I like this

It's risky business ...

That you never knew existed

You try to keep it secret

You can try and try to keep it ...

She's the competition ...

~ Dragnette ~ Competition ~

***

We seem to be surrounded by competition in our life.  The addiction to the energetic reaction that you are beating or could beat another person within a specific activity.  

But does that apply to “healing” as well?  Sadly, yes, that is what I have experienced.  It doesn’t make sense, I didn’t think it was possible ... I thought it was about sharing and caring ... instead it was others judging according to how they think they are being judged ... “I know better, I know best” ... a far cry from a space of healing for me ... my journey, my judgement.

You see the basic principle as to why we compete is to experience what we believe is victory over another.  Yet, it is within you, in your mind, your ego that generates a response ... because there is no universal recognition blessing you with gratification.

Isn’t it really about the craving of recognition, 

love and acceptance?  

Aren’t we hoping to receive the gold stars 

that are handed out in life?

Sadly we when we crave something, we create an energy around us of desperation and neediness, pushing away the very thing that we crave.  I have learned to release all attachments to a particular outcome in order for the very thing to come into my life.

Now what if we don’t compete anymore?  Could we un-limit ourselves to activities that give us sufficient ground for competing.  Will we try things we have never done before simply because we will no longer be directed by the mind, telling us which activities to follow?  Perhaps there would be no more judgement of self because there is no right or wrong.  Perhaps all would be from the starting point of self-enjoyment and self-movement.

So why not fully express ourselves here in the physical reality, unconditionally and within this allow and support each other to do the same, so that there is no harm done in thought or deed towards ourselves and others?

For me, life is not a competition or race anymore.  You see when I can be sincerely excited about the accomplishments of my peers, I seem to find that my life goes more smoothly ... because when I feel that someone doesn’t deserve their happiness, or that I am more deserving, then I am operating from a place of false pride and ignorance.

My journey ... I believe that we all deserve happiness and we all define our life by our own criteria.  I believe we can choose our state of mind and it has nothing to do with outside events.  I believe we are in charge of our life, attitude and perception.  I believe life is good when you claim it good ... my judgement.

" Full Pull ... "

Revving up my engines.

Lighting up the sky.

Red and yellow fire.

Burning in my eyes.

Full Pull!!!! Can you feel the power?

Full Pull!!!! Let me take you through the night.

Full Pull!!!! At a thousand miles an hour.

We're running hot and that's what you got.

Full Pull!!!!

Let's take it while we can ...

Ahh, This is just what we need ...

~ Kane Roberts ~ Full Pull ~

***

You may have heard about a traditional Indian folk remedy called “Oil Pulling”.  Originating from Ayurvedic literature, oil pull involves swishing oil in the mouth and is capable of improving oral health and treating systemic dis-eases.  And although “scientific evidence” may be “lacking” for some, there has been many studies to support these claims.

Since I was quite intrigued by this home remedy, I did my research and have made this part of my morning ritual.  It involves rinsing the mouth with 1 tablespoon of oil for 15 to 20 minutes and spitting it out.  

By helping the body get rid of toxins that have accumulated, 

oil pulling promotes self healing from within ...

Ayurveda advises oil pulling in the morning after brushing your teeth, cleaning you tongue and on an empty stomach.  To assist in healing, you can oil pull more than once a day but ensure that it is one hour after drinking or eating.  As well, when we do oil pull, the entire oil should become thin, like water, be white in colour and have no oily feeling should be left.  When that happens we would have utilized the entire oil for its purpose.  

The recommended oils to use are 

Sunflower or Sesame Oil, organic, cold-pressed, 

as it has been observed that other oils may not be as effective ...

Out of interest, a survey conducted in Andrha Jyoti (1996) asked practitioners to provide their personal data along with duration of practice and type of dis-ease cured.  Of the 1,041 people who practiced oil pulling and responded 89% reported a cure of one dis-ease or more.  The dis-eases reported included “allergies, common cold and cough, gum diseases, infections in the mouth, ear, nose, throat, eyes, and pains like headache, migraine, tooth pain, neck pain, back pain, lip cracking, fevers, and irritability ... all felt energetic, active and well.”

Some food for thought ... so if you are curious consider talking to your holistic health practitioner, your local health store or even checking uber sources online.  They’ll be sure to help you get started and give it a pull ...