... A careless smile and it begins to snow
And it hurts me to think
That you might never know
That I've got this thing about you
In case you don't understand
There's something else I meant to tell you
There is nothing better
Than being with you
And I'm feeling so nice
There is nowhere better
Than here with you
And it's feeling so nice
Did I already say
'Cause you make me forget
I might as well be brave and tell 'ya
~ Duran Duran ~ Nice ~
Are you a people pleaser? Do you have a hard time saying no? Do you then find that rather than feeling good, you feel used? Could just be that you are just “too nice” ....
Too nice?? How is that even possible? How can you be too much of something good? Yes, I have been through this conflict a number of times in my life. You see, through our struggles and challenges, we develop a sense of sympathy towards others. We understand everyone has a story and if we take the time to learn about them, we will enrich our lives that much more. And we also do something for someone and expecting nothing in return. This how we continue to nurture our relationships for what they are, not what they can give you.
When you say yes to others don’t say no to yourself...
The “too nice” nature can land us in trouble because we end up being too good for our own good. We all know that it is never a good idea to let people walk all over you and take advantage of you. Just think ... if your whole life is spent doing things for everyone around you, where is the time for yourself?
Emotional Chaos ... exhausted, defeated and discouraged ...
Personally, I don’t believe there are “wrong” people. I believe there are people who make poor choices. And those choices can apply to a person that is too nice. How so? well, a poor reason to be nice to someone is so that they thank you, accept you and raise your social standing. And I feel that feeling superior when you help others out misses the purpose entirely.
So how do you stop being “too nice”?
- You and those in your life realize that you cannot be available for them every single time they need you
- You start being “too nice” to YOU
- Decide who and what is important in your life & put your energy towards it
- If you have to decline, say it confidently, genuinely and respectfully
Understand that the moment you settle for less in your life, you will get exactly what you asked for ... directly affecting your own well-being in mind, body and spirit. Learn the difference between being nice and being too nice because in the end, it can be for your own good.