" Put Me In Coach … "

Well, beat the drum and hold the phone

the sun came out today!

We're born again, there's new grass on the field.

A-roundin' third, and headed for home ...

Anyone can understand the way I feel.

Oh, put me in, Coach - I'm ready to play today;

Don't say "it ain't so", you know the time is now.

Yeah! I got it, I got it!

~ John Forgerty ~ Put Me In Coach ~

***

Over the years, we probably can count the number of counsellors, psychiatrists and coaches we have encountered only to find ourselves where we started.  Little to no results.  Disappointment and having to start over again.  And of course you think it is your fault.  You didn’t have the determination, strength, stamina, personal fortitude ... but what if there is more to it?

... the essence of helping others is 

to influence them to pursue their best interest ...

Usually it is word of mouth.  You look for help, you ask a friend and you get a reference, therefore they must be the expert ... beware ... a true indication of their nature is if their thoughts, behaviour and actions are in alignment.  Do they truly practice what they preach?  

From personal experience, lip service and personal friendships can cloud judgement so do your research and be comfortable with who you choose.  They may have good intentions, but they may not be right for YOU ...

You cannot transmit wisdom and insight to another person. The seed is already there. A good teacher touches the seed, allowing it to wake up, to sprout, and to grow 
ॐThich Nhat Hanh  

" My Work Is Done … "

I don't wanna work

Work makes me lazy

And I've got stuff I gotta do

Just for fun

Hey, I don't wanna work

Just give me the money

As if I had a gun on me

Cuz my work is done

Yeah my work is done

My work is done

I'm out of my cave, I'm into the ring

I'm ready to play

Get off the ropes and off the rails

Okay I'm game

Uh-huh, yeah I'm free

I need time to kill

Hey I'm on a rampage ...

~ Dragonette ~ My Work Is Done ~ 

***

I use to work long hours in a high stress job as I ran the corporate treadmill.  Always looking to get further, to make more money, to get more status, to get a better title, to buy more things .... and it was all while I was on a sugar/caffeine rush ... and I loved it, well at first anyways.

But it took its toll on all aspects of my life ... health, personal relationships and especially the most important relationship I had ... with myself.  I thought I was doing something meaningful, but it just took me away from everything else in my life.  

I still remember the day when my boss said “look at me, you can be just like me ... phone, parking ... and it was as if she was speaking a different language because I realized that was not what I wanted and that my sacrifices are not worth it.  And of course the journey continued from there when you ask what do you really want and what are you doing to get it?

I was tired of the question, what do you do for a living … as if it defined who I was, or gave a price tag to my worth.  I didn't care anymore what title I had, how much money I made or who I was in charge of … I didn't want that life but didn't know how to change it and then … change happened.  Yes, from my past experience, change use to come from desperation.  More reactive than proactive …. looking for external affirmation for allowance.  Thankfully, now it has shifted, change stems from motivation.  

… Motivation to make an amazing life, a well deserved life, a life I’ve always wanted ...

 

Easier said than done, yes.  A risky, bold move, perhaps but once you make a decision, the universe will do everything in it’s power to support it ... just remember that there are infinite paths we can take to reach our destination, so the route may be unfamiliar at times ... I never imagined from tragedy could come so much clarity regarding what I wanted, where I wanted to go and who I really am … 

“I really want to live my life instead of work my life ... “

" My Fault … "

I took a walk on a Saturday night

Fog in the air

Just to make my mind seem clear

Where do I go from here?

I see my breath pushing steam through the air

Shaking hands run through my hair

My fears, where do I go from here?

Is it my fault, is it my fault?

We’ve been missing each other

My fault, is it my fault?

We’ve been missing each other

~ Imagine Dragons ~ My Fault ~

***

It’s all your fault ... words that you never really want to hear because it implies you did something “wrong”.  But what if this was actually a good thing?

... personal responsibility isn’t a burden, it isn’t something you give away, it’s a gift that allows us to be so much more on this earth than any other living thing ...

To be a human being means to live with the option of reason and logic and therefore we must take responsibility for our reasoning, and our choice not to reason.  Choosing not to reason and putting your fate into the hands of someone else, allows us to blame others for whatever the outcome.

It is about taking ownership over your life because it is impossible to truly “own” your life when you are disowning your actions.

... life is a series of actions and to disown them is to disown yourself ...

We are not helpless and we are not meant to be victims.  It is about owning your choices.  It is about taking care of yourself.  It is about achieving your goals.  It is about taking back full control of your life.  

... live your life consciously ... move with purpose ... make reflection a regular routine ... revisit life goals ... take a personal inventory of your relationships ... consider your impact on the world ... spend wisely ... waste less ... review how you spend you time  ... and explore yourself … 

A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action. 

A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation.

- Neale Donald Walsch

" Understanding … "

You hold the answers deep within your own mind.

Consciously, you've forgotten it.

That's the way the human mind works.

Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us

to entertain, we reject it.

We erase it from our memories.

But the imprint is always there.

Can't wash it all away

Can't Wish it all away

Can't hope it all away

Can't cry it all away

In our mutual

Shame we hide our eyes

To blind them from the truth

That finds a way from who we are ...

~ Evanescence ~ Understanding ~

***

Why is it that trying to understand the behaviour of some people is like trying to smell the color 9?  Seriously.  I recently saw some one whom I knew for a very very long time.  We were good friends, some may have even thought best friends ... we have a lengthy history but we no longer are in each others lives.  And what happened ... I got ignored.  Yep, ignored.

But I think the interesting thing was the environment.  Their energy was odd and the scenario was random.  And once I realized who this person was, they had sailed by, pretending to not know me and who I was.  Really if you think about it they were right ... they don’t know me, not anymore.  And, perhaps they never did.  Afterwards, I felt unsettled, with a physical sensation of nausea and fear.  My body was shaking and speaking to me ... and I listened.

I listened because I now understand.  I understand how difficult behaviour can manifest itself as rudeness, open anger and even aggression.  And like all negative forces, these attitudes and behaviour tend to be contagious.  They drain collective energy, foster misconceptions, bring out the worst in others and spark conflict … no thanks.

Perhaps the randomness was the universes way of saying ... 

• be grateful for what was and appreciate what is
• see how far you have come
• don’t look back, there is nothing there for you
• you made the right decision
• don’t settle
• you deserve better

There is no unfinished business when there is no business.  We tend to romanticize the past, wish, hope or cry for what was instead of accepting what is.  For me, acceptance is not the issue ... it is the lack of general consideration, kindness and compassion for another human being ... reminder: what they think of me is none of my business.

Ultimately, it is a true test of oneself when you can still have grace and compassion for someone who treats you poorly ... a measure as to how far you have come and perhaps how far they still need to go.

" Challenging Me … "

This fortune brought to you,

Is it worth the pain, the suffering?

Would you rather work sparingly without the stress

or is there such a thing?

Pray hard sing out loud!

I wonder if you'll bother me

I'm twisting back and forth

My eyes are burning stronger now ...

Challenging me...Should I give up everything?

should I give up everything?

~ Chris Park ~ Challenging Me ~ 

***

That moment when you have that sinking feeling ... it’s happening again ... but when challenges occur, we have a choice to rise up and reveal the resilience within us.

During crisis, we often admire others that seem to act with ease and do or say the right things.  Because it is not only the hardship that they have endured, but the way they have chosen to manage their feelings and emotions about it.  And more importantly, their view of themselves has little, if any, ring of victim hood in it.

The greatest of accomplishments often have come with 

a heavy dose of resilience ... 

Our history is the best indicator of how well we can fare with resilience.  Yet when we reflect on the past, we tend to focus on the negatives and rarely look for the opportunities to grow.  NOW is the chance to seek the lesson in each moment.

Learning isn’t just about repeating failures, with only the pain as the byproduct ... it is about choosing response versus reaction to bring the desired results ...

When we accept the situation as is, and the lesson at its core, we begin to find the wisdom in it.  When we ask who, what, when and how, we take the next steps for healing because we move out of resistance, which blinds vision.

I believe we are deeply interconnected.  Hence by surrendering to what is, we realize we are helping heal the collective through our own growth.

Trust your life situation, at a soul level, to be purposeful ... the sad, the bad, the scary and even the ugly are all hidden with joy, happiness, surprises and miracles.

“Challenges are what make life interesting 

and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” 

☯ Joshua J. Marine ☯

"Priority … "

Steer the course make a way
And come ashore on a greater day
Home grown from the greatest grain
Full flavor in the native strain

Peace before anything
God before everything
Love before anything
Real before everything

Home before anyplace
Style and state radiate
Love power slay the hate, priority
Love power

~ Mos Def ~ Priority ~

***

Priority ... something that is regarded as more important than another.  Now think of your relationships, are they are priority in your life?  Is there someone that is for you but you not for them, and how do you know?

… in some instances, if we had to know if the other person felt the same degree of compassion and consideration as we do for them, then we would probably never even speak ...

In a perfect world, relationships are suppose to be “equal” and fully committed to the process of developing and growth ... suppose being the key word.  Yet we find ourselves in situations where we are giving our all to someone but not getting the same in return.  And we keep going back for more, and more knowing that relationships are risky. 

So how do you know when you are an option instead of a priority in someone’s life?  Well besides the obvious behaviour, they 

• magically appear when they need something
• call to see how you are but rant about themselves instead
• bail on things that are important to you
• share important life details with others and not you.

And interestingly, some people think this is the “norm”.  They get use to these types of relationships.  They are troubled by the fact that they are involved with someone who treats them like “an option” and yet they still can’t seem to terminate the relationship.

The beauty is, the choice is YOURS.  It is much better to live peacefully than to have those in your life that take you for granted.  Stop making excuses for poor behaviour, don’t accept less than what you deserve, and weed out the ones who only care about their own needs being met because a relationship should complement, not complicate ...

" Personal … "

Please forgive me, if I can't forgive anymore

I guess I'm taking it personal

Life without you is better than life before

I guess I'm taking it personal

Listen, Listen to my head

Listen, And not to my heart

Listen, Feels like the end's about to start

Yeah, You think you're caught, you got anymore

I guess I'm taking it personal

~ Olly Murs ~ Personal ~

***

Hands up ... how many of us take what people say and do personally, regardless if it has anything to do with us?  Think about it ... every time we interact with others, we have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words ... OR take what they are saying personally.

The question is why ... why do we take things personally?  Perhaps it is the result of perceiving a person’s actions or words as a slight ... you must be looking for a negative intention in an individual’s words or actions.  So is it lack of trust of an insecurity?

Nothing others do is because of you. 

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, 

their own dream. 

When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, 

you won’t be the victim of needless suffering 

~ Miguel Ruiz

We get it ... life happens, things fall apart, relationships implode, people betray and we turn on ourselves.  We beat ourselves up, we ask how could not have seen it coming, we compare ourselves, and we ask ... what is it all for, I mean what is the point in putting so much effort into improving yourself if nothing ever changes?

Every moment, change is happening.  And we can’t control how other people respond to us, all we can control is our own response to them.  Improve yourself unconditionally, empower yourself and how others choose to respond is none of your business.  You don’t need their permission to make positive changes to yourself.  And realize that people are often stuck in their own scripts and stories.  Realise that the story they’ve created has nothing to do with you in reality.  It only exists inside their head.

My reality … 

I can refuse to allow myself to be manipulated, by holding onto my own reality and not getting drawn into someone else’s story.  What people do and say has no bearing upon me and I know it is based on their own experiences, emotions and perceptions … 

Shift your perspective and remember that you have everything you need already within you.  You are no longer trying to get something from outside of you, that you already have within you ... know that no matter what happens, you will always be loved and valued, and that you hold the key to that, no-one else …

" Teacher … "

I've had enough of danger
People on the streets
I'm looking out for angels
Just tryin' to find some peace

Teacher, there are things that I still have to learn
But the one thing I have is my pride ...
Who just isn't willing to try
I'm so cold inside
Maybe just one more try

~ George Michael ~ Teacher ~

***

Over the last year, I have embarked on my spiritual journey with teachers, classes, seminars and techniques.  Unsure where to look and what I would find.  Unsure how to practice spirituality.  And, there are no guidebooks or manuals that can tell me how to make the journey, which is part of the beauty of the rite of passage.  So with no traditions or ceremonies to follow, I had to learn what steps to take on my own.  Hence, I believe we are our own spiritual teachers because the greatest teacher you could ever want is always with you ... your life.

“ ... floating on an iceberg that broke of the glacier, stranded on a desert island in the middle of the ocean and wandering in an infinite wilderness without a compass ... “

Our daily interaction with people and situations can teach us when we are open to receiving wisdom.  Yet we don’t recognize when our greatest teacher is within.  We only need our own approval.  What a liberating thought!

Brutal honesty alert!! ... previously in my pursuits of gaining knowledge from others, I would hope they would do the job for me or perhaps put a spell on me to experience bliss.   But there are no short cuts or Coles notes.

“ ... your thoughts become a tangled ball of yarn, throughout your life, until you gain awareness. Then, thread-by-thread, carefully and patiently you begin to untangle the threads and weave them into a beautiful scarf, which will keep you warm and comfortable and make your life better ... “

Oddly enough, I find myself less alone then when I had others telling me what to believe and how to proceed.  I am thankful for the sharing but I know have my own path to follow.  I realize that is what they have learned but don’t not necessarily know what is best for me.  And to proceed is to know my higher self, where I can find answers to the unanswerable, a way from hopelessness to bliss.  

Only you know the how's and why's of your life.  

The answers that you seek can be found when you start answering your own questions …

Patience, compassion, perseverance, honesty and letting go ... topics in the classroom of my life ... I am an observer ... I am an onlooker ...

" Say Something … "

... And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl

And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

And anywhere, I would have followed you

Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something ..

~ A Great Big World ~ Say Something ~

***

I have been composing this blog in my head for a really long time now.  There are many, many things that I have considered writing here.  As the Universe always provides, I am participating in a closing ceremony as part of my meditation class today.  An opportunity to conclude and release what no longer serves us … and now it feels right to express them ...

Reflecting back on friendships, bonds and relationships that were broken and those that faded away ... my feelings are mixed as I recall the “story” of each break up.  Especially with those that are no longer in my life, as it is unfortunate that you felt the need to cut all communication off with me without fully explaining why.  I realize that you have your own reasons for that, and while there was a time when I desperately wanted to hash all of it out with you, I am no longer in that place.

Misunderstandings, miscommunication,

unrealistic expectations and human imperfections ...

Life goes on ... your unwillingness to discuss with me further solidified in my mind the things that have been in my heart for some time.  I once believed in you, and in our friendship, so strongly that I considered you family and someone who would never betray me ... you proved me wrong.

Life goes on ... I realize that I never really knew you becuase it was always an image or facade you were living up to ... you were full of lies & deciet.

Life goes on ... despite what you may believe, you know very little about who I am and where I am taking my life.

Life goes on ... I thought this friendship would last a lifetime based on what we had, but what we had was nothing more than an ends to a means for you.

Life goes on ... you expressed gratitude for having support during your dark times, yet during mine you abandoned ship.

Life goes on ... I use to hold our for reconciliation, but that has passed.  As I have learned about myself and what I want and DON’t want in my life.  And the beauty is, this decision only comes from a place of self-love, as I have realized that I am a better and stronger person without you in my life and going in a different direction.

I guess the only thing that I have left to say is THANKS.  Thanks for the years of love, laughter and friendship that you DID give to me.  I will never forget.  And I am especially grateful for your “break-up” behaviour because I realized I deserved better, much better than what I was receiving.  

Oddly, broken hearts by the ones we love can inspire us to make life-changing decisions ... awakening to what the rest of the world has to offer, far greater than ever imagined.  And so, I wish you well. I hope that life brings to you all that you desire, and may you end each day as happy with where life has taken you as I am.

" I Deserve It … "

Many miles many roads I have traveled

Fallen down on the way

Many hearts many years have unraveled

Leading up to today ...

I have no regrets

There's nothing to forget

All the pain

Was worth it

Not running from the past

I tried to do what's best

I know that I deserve it

***

~ Madonna ~ I Deserve It ~

***

Have you ever thought about what you deserve in your life?  

And do you believe you deserve it?  

I love the saying, “What other people think of me is none of my business.” by Wayne Dyer, because we tend to get caught up in others opinions.  And this leads to making excuses as to why we don’t deserve the very best.  Think about it ... we don’t try to improve our relationship with our spouse rather we compare to much worse relationships and therefore we figure it is good enough.  Or we don’t reach for our dreams because we feel it may project selfishness.  

Realize that the only thing holding YOU back is YOU .... 

Personally, I started to make a list ... a list as to what I think I deserve, in hopes to live this code, and focus on what & whom I accept in my life.  This provides clarity, alignment and a release of what is blocking and propels me forward.  This, I believe, is in full support of the Universe.

The following is my list which I continue to add to … I Deserve ...

• GOOD HEALTH ~ my journey for the last 3 years has allowed me to take care of my body from the inside out.  I have learned a wealth of information regarding wellness, continue to do so and hope to continue to pay it forward

• LOVE ~ I am blessed to have meaningful friendships dating back to over 30 years, while others are still budding.  I am excited to meet more beautiful souls.

• PEACE ~ I support my mental health with meditation & yoga, as I am committed to keeping my practice going on my personal growth journey.

• HAPPINESS  ~ the key is to learn to live you dream ... love what you do and do what you love

• RESPECT ~ there is no room for relationships in my life that are not respectful as the serve you no purpose

• ABUNDANCE ~ I’ve developed the self-worth to know in my heart that I deserve success and abundance as equally as others

Knowing what you deserve and practicing what you deserve are two totally different things.  The bridge is ... commitment.  A commitment to yourself.  This involves times when you have to have the ability to speak up and stand your ground, say your truth because YOU now know what YOU deserve … 

" The Prayer … "

I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer when we lose our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

Let this be our prayer ...
Just like every child ...
Give us faith so we'll be safe ...

~ Celine Dion ~ The Prayer ~

***

Ever wonder why we need to pray at all?  I mean if God already knows what we need and is in charge then what is the point?

Well, if you consider that prayers are “divinely appointed”, then we can believe that God tells us about it in His Words.  Perhaps in simpler terms, prayers can be defined as talking to God and are a means, not an end in itself ... which carries His design accomplishes His purpose.

“Faith infuses prayer with great expectancy and is a gift by which the Holy Spirit grants us spiritual sense and sensibilities. It is the opposite of wishful thinking, apprehending unseen realities ... “

We pray because we long for connection … we regain perspective in our relationship with the Divine and of our place of humility.

We pray because we want to align with God’s will ... we have the ability to lift our challenges to Him, surrender, and trust the process.

We pray because we can ... God expects to hear from us and he hears all requests.

We pray because we feel more centered ... a sense of grounded-ness and serenity results.

Personally,  I think of prayer as a conscious relationship or friendship with God.  And similar to great conversations I have had with close friends, I have had some good ones with Him.  Instead of making deals or asking for conditional wishes to be granted, I believe with my heart to let go and let God ... and praise Him for his kindness and mercy.

Hence, perhaps we pray at our deepest level because we are drawn by the bonds of love and our deepest reality ... aligning with Him and help experience a deeper well-being ॐ

" Habit … "

Seen it happen to a couple of friends

Seen it happen and the message it sends

Taken up for what's an obvious fault

Just to see what all the fuss is about

It's not your way...not your way

It's not your way ...

Another habit says it's long overdue

Another habit like an unwanted friend

I'm so happy with my righteous self

It's not your way...not your way

It's not your way

Never thought you'd... habit

Never thought you'd... habit

Never thought you'd... habit

I never thought you, never thought you...

~ Pearl Jam ~ Habit ~

***

I love the new year with fresh starts and new beginnings.  It is a chance to be more intentional with life.  And it is also an opportunity to cultivate good habits.  

Some may call it a “routine”, other’s a behaviour, but what makes a habit is consistency.  For a habit to be a habit, we would subconsciously repeat the same actions or activity.  You don’t have to think about it, it is just what you do.  Plus a habit won’t cultivate or fade on it’s own ... and when you establish a habit, the mind doesn’thave to work so hard, allowing you to create new ones easily.  

It takes an act of will to create a new habit ...

And we can begin by finding the habits that achieve your desired goal.  Start by finding people whose circumstances are similar to yours but who've achieved the success you desire. They are your pattern, they are your lesson plans.  

Once these habits or behaviours have been determined, then it is time to assess the time needed for them.  Resistance, procrastination and excuses will play their role, but it is about managing the dark with light & the negative with the positive.  Replace old habits that no longer serve you with new ones and calendar your new routines.

“We form our habits, and then our habits form us." ...

Take on one step at a time, one habit at a time.  Personally, I form the habit in my mind first which helps me perform it outwardly.  By seeing yourself performing the action in the places and circumstances you expect to perform in, you cultivate the expectations you want, not what you fear.  A process athletes utilize all the time.  

And watch the company you keep.  By spending more time with people who have the habits you want, you’lll see the possibility of forming those habits and be encouraged to create them.  This directly honours you and those around you by becoming the better human you may be longing to be.