Sunday, December 11, 2011

" The Perfect Gift ... "

Close your eyes and I will sing a song for you
I will always be there
I will always love you
And while you’re dreaming I will row your boat ashore
I will always be there for you
... You gave me the perfect gift."

~ Canadian Tenors ~ The Perfect Gift ~

The Perfect Gift ... does it really exist?  Perhaps in the eyes of the gift giver ... but what about the gift receiver?  From my own experience, I have struggled with learning how to fully take in a gift.  Gratitude ... yes, but even when I am writing thank-you notes and lists, have I fully received, taking in and assimilated the gift I've been given.  If this sounds familiar to you as well, I recently read an article to help us in this process.  To start, we need to recognize that we are being given a gift.  Then we need to create enough openness to take it in.  Next we need to appreciate it, value it or the intentions of the giver.  Finally, we need to feel that we deserve it .. the gift is neither too much, too little or too out of line with who we are.  For me, this hits home ... the feeling that I deserve it, I am worthy ... I have definitely struggled with this.

Seems really simple right ... so why then do some of us still struggle with this?  One reason may be we feel resistant to receiving a gift that isn't "meant" for us.  Not everyone's energy is aligned with ours ... some gifts comes with so many strings and expectations that make us very uncomfortable.  If you identify with this, then you have probably learned how to receive by looking at the meaning behind any feelings of resistance.  Sometimes they are messages telling you that it isn't wise to accept the offering.  It is important to listen to you inner "no" or "yes" but remember to treat each gift and giver differently ... are you projecting your past experience on the present?

Going beyond receiving a gift ... are you a wide receiver in life?  Do you easily accept favours and compliments?  Does this create feelings of guilt or insecurity?  Do you have fear that you don't have the means to reciprocate?  Another reason we don't receive help is that, on a subconscious level, it may make us feel inferior.  In some cultures, the giver is in the power position ... while the receiver is representing neediness.  Even when we are truly in need, our ego will often resist the discomfort of fully receiving.  

So how do you become better "wide receivers"?  

"Create Presence.  When someone offers you a kind word, a present, a favour, be aware of your state of mind .. if you rushed, distracted or preoccupied, you have much less capability to fully receive.

Avoid Judgement.  Resist the urge to think about what kind of offering you would have preferred.  Instead consider that the giver might only have a loving intention.

See the Gift as Message.  Appreciate the insight presented to you, the energy and blessing taking place.

Consciously Open Yourself.  Remind yourself to cultivate openness to whatever form love takes ... what is offered to you & the grace supporting it"

"When we improve our ability to fully receive, we will begin to notice how many gifts are being offered to us at every moment ... and whatever we give back becomes a part of the same dance ... the dance of giving and receiving, in which we are all one another's partners" (YogaJournal, December 2011)

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