Thursday, April 14, 2011

"This Will Be Our Year ..."

"don't let go of my hand 
now darkness has gone
and this will be our year
took a long time to come"

~ The Zombies ~ This Will Be Our Year" ~

This morning we woke up to a dump of snow.  Yep, April 14, and we have snow, a LOT of snow.  Although there were warnings of snowfall, it is funny how we still seem so surprised.  And, we continue to have the conversations of "why do we live here?", "I hate this place", and "I'm moving!".  Yet, we continue with our days and just work around the blanket of white.

After our usual morning routine, Russell was going to wash the blinds, so I thought I had better shovel our walk.  Now you have to understand we live on a corner lot, so there is a lot of pathway and again, a lot of snow.  As I bundled up ... hat - check, gloves - check, jacket - check, and boots - check.  Between my juices, and coffee treatments, I decided to tackle the task at hand, making sure I take the time I need and not over do it.  

As I started to remove the snow from the porch, I noticed the following:

and I stopped in my tracks.  I called Russell to take a look and we were both speechless.  Now on any ordinary day, these are footprints and no big deal.  But the reason why we both reacted this way is because of a dream I shared with my family a week ago.

Shortly after we returned from the clinic, in the middle of the night I woke up suddenly to a sound as if someone was knocking on the door.  I wasn't sure if the knocking was in my dream or our front door, but it felt real.  I looked over to the alarm clock and it was close to 3AM.  I thought to myself I should go answer the door.  Then I looked over to Russ to see if he was awake by the same sound.  He was fast asleep.  I then thought to myself, go back to sleep, don't answer the door, it is in the middle of the night.

Then in my dream state or wake state, unsure, I could see the person at the front door, but I was behind them down the steps.  They had a long cape covering their head and a tall cane.  As this figure turned around, it was faceless, just a hollow black hole.  Next vision I had was they were across the street standing on the corner but looking at the front of our house.  Then the figure vanished.  I guess it is okay to presume this was the grim reaper.  When I told Russell about the dream, he had shivers and said "I'm glad you didn't answer the door".  A good friend of mine said the same thing.  I guess it was good judgement to stay in bed.  

Yet afterwards, I needed to know the meaning of my dream.  I was hoping it wasn't the literally translation of death or death looming.  I had no fear, but curiousity.  A few meanings were provided when I starting looking with the dream analysis world:

  • Fear of death, or awareness of your mortality at the moment
  • Something or someone in real life trying to take something from you (time, attention, energy, focus, or anything physical, emotional, or mental) that you're not prepared to give
  • An ending or a change in something—such as a phase, project, or relationship
  • You feeling a sense of doom or a fear of impending failure

Now looking at these, one might think in a negative manner.  But instead, I highlighted what I choose to take from this - Awareness, Time, Attention, Energy, Focus, Change, Phase, and Feeling.  The lifestyle change we are currently experiencing would not have happened unless I was faced with my mortality.  Raising my awareness.  Time is of the essence.  Attention is required.   One hundred percent Energy is needed.  I must be Focused. Change is a coming.  This is a Phase of life I must endure.  And I am Feeling everything now. 

Those footsteps are a reminder, a good reminder.  I am glad I didn't answer the door.  This is the time and this will be our year to be the healthiest ever.  Those are our intentions.

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