Sunday, April 10, 2011

"Beautiful Mess ..."

"What a beautiful mess,
What a beautiful mess I'm in, 
Spending all my time with you, 
There's nothing else I'd rather do..." 
~ Diamond Rio - Beautiful Mess ~

It's been a couple of days since my last blog.  The last few days have been good, real good.  Thursday was a fun day as I went got my haircut.  Yep, chopped it all off.  It was so much fun.  Russell's stylist had done such a great job on his hair in the past, so while we were at the clinic, I decided to get a fresh perspective and book an appointment.  Naomi was wonderful.  I explained to her that I needed something easy, and simple since I cannot use any products or color my hair till treatment is over.  I showed her some photos and ...viola!  she did a great job.  I almost didn't recognize myself, but it was a new me .... a new beginning.

The next few days were full of different activities.  We also had a great visit friday night with our close friend Mina.  She is a wonderful person, full of love and so so giving.  It was nice to connect with her, once again I felt blessed.  We also ventured out to a garden show on saturday afternoon.  I was just so happy to get out of the house!  It was across town so we were singing along in the car and laughing.  It truly was the entire experience, not just getting there.  I really felt like I was in the moment, living in the present.

Since I have about 2 hours between treatments in the afternoon so planning is important.  But Russell plans the juices, medications and supplements.  He is so unselfish, getting up in the morning while I am doing my coffee break, and getting breakfast on, preparing the soup for the day, preparing the potatoes and making sure the carrots are ready for juicing.  Sometimes, the juices are all ready as well.  I look at him at times and wonder at times, "are you getting tired of this".  I've apologized for the imposition and he says to me, "why are you sorry, you didn't chose this.  Wouldn't you do the same for me?"  His energy positive, upbeat and contagious! and at times when I get discouraged, he reminds me that this is a journey, and an adventure we are both on it together, that I am not alone.  Even the other day when the green juice exploded all over the place, floor, cabinets, ceiling and of course all over me.  He just smiled and laughed and said no worries, he would help me clean it up.  Clean up this beautiful mess.  That is exactly what the situation is.  A beautiful mess, but I have someone in my life that is by my side, ready and willing to pick up the pieces, clean up the mess and still look forward to life.

It is an exciting time, the unknowns are infinite, but the present is what I have.  I choose to enjoy it, beautiful mess and all.

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