Tuesday, January 8, 2013

" Continue ... "

Somehow things happen
With time in mind we can't stop moving
Deep meditation has taken me to a higher placement
And mocking the entrance for once,
we're gone, reincarnation

Of the distance I see the light I see its brilliance
What is its nature, is anything what it seems? ...

The questions that I ask can never be truthfully answered,
by any human who thinks himself to be a master
Nothing is what is seems, sometimes I see no point in walking
Woke up in my dreams ...

~ Union 13 ~ Continue ~

Russell and I had a conversation today about what my health journey thus far has taught him.  He said, perseverance ... “a steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement.”  He said that although he is not going through the actual therapy, he understands the depth as to what is required to stay on path ... which strengthens his resolve to stay on his path, despite the odds.

For those of you that have followed along, I was diagnosed in early February 2011 and started the Gerson Therapy on March 7, 2011 in Mexico ... as of this moment, I am on week 96 or 22 months and counting.  

Some may think inspiring, others do think insane ...

The therapy is to be considered for a minimum of two years, depending on your type, stage and other potential  complications associated with your condition.  I can say that year one was like a walk in the park compared to year 2.  Year 2 has been full of extreme symptoms, emotionally and physically.  And from what I have learned, this is to be expected when self-healing difficulties, obstacles and discouragement.

So how do I stay on course?  Well depending on the day, the answer varies.  Some days I feel great, and think I can take on the world.  I just do what it takes, it is part of my day, a schedule, a routine and I believe and know I am blessed to truly heal.  Other days I feel awful, am in pain, or cry uncontrollably and feel like a real victim, deprived, and deserving of punishment.  As I said, extremes ...

Extremes ... experience of immense generosity, and love and support.  An abundance that I didn’t know was available to me and for me.  And experience of profound loss, sadness and depression.  Lower energies that I guess are necessary to appreciate higher vibrations.

Perhaps this is what happens when your awareness is heightened.  Everything seems to vary in great degrees. 

... Faith ... Hope ... Strength ... Courage ... Compassion ... Gratitude ...

Perseverance in the face of uncertainty, on a path of unknown.  Some feel the future is written for us ... fate.  Others feel it is unwritten and for us to scribe.  Viewing it as regardless what we do, it will happen or based on what we do, it will happen.  Either way, the guarantee is it will unfold, setbacks et all.

I realize that trying to hold on to the oars and steer this raft feels pointless at times.  Releasing and allowing my soul to live ... yet relinquishing this control feels so out of control at times.  Is letting go equivalent to giving up or recognizing there is only so much we can control?

Reoccurring messages stating "Don't quit before the miracle happens" ... trust to keep doing what I am doing because it is working ... all in perfect timing ... believe in the process and that GOD is always right ... this is truly how I continue ... at least at this present moment 

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