Saturday, September 3, 2011

"Exposure ..."

Space is what I need
it's what I feed on
Out in the open..."

~ Peter Gabriel ~ Exposure ~

I guess it is safe to say that when you blog about your life, you open yourself up to being overexposed.  I started this blog a long time prior to my cancer diagnosis when I started up a walking club called WalkStrong.  And walking strong we were.  As life evolves, and shit happens, it has now become my soapbox, so that I can express, rant, rave, advice, ponder, and share all that is going on in my life.  

In one of my last posts, "Point of View", I wrote about my recent test results after being on the Gerson therapy for almost 6 months.  I remember when I blogged, I thought to myself, "am I providing a bit too much information?", "are there too many details I am sharing?", and "should I really post this?".  And you know what they say, go with your gut ... what you intuition is saying to you ... your inner voice.    

You see, I have had many people write me emails and tell me in person that I have inspired them, that they are proud of me as to how I am handling the biggest challenge of my life, and thanking me for being so real, so vulnerable and speaking my truth.  And for this, I want to give oceans of gratitude back to you.  You really have no idea how those words, written or verbal, have got me thru this year.  Yet recently, after I wrote the details of my last round of test results, the feedback I got has fed my greatest fears.  I "expected" a wee bit of a celebration, more "yahoo", more "way to go M".  And, I guess as I wrote in my previous blog, it is all about point of views, opinions, perspective and really everyone is entitled to their own.  I can read into words, or what tones their voices take, or see into their eyes and try to "read" what they feel, but really it doesn't help anyone, especially not me.  And to be completely honest, I thought I was strong enough to handle all of "this" too, but I'm not.  

So I will continue to merrily blog as usual ~ express, rant, rave, advice, ponder, and share all that is going on in my life ~ but will keep the "details" of test results and sorts out.  But I am very open to anyone that is considering the Gerson therapy and needs some information.  Just contact me directly.  
Oh and no worries, I'll still be aiming to write a kick-ass blog, just wiser!  

Again I want thank EVERYONE for their continuous love and apologize if I have overexposed myself during this difficult time.  I hope it has not caused any discomfort to anyone as I always come from a place of compassion.

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