"Faith ..."

"Before this river 
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

Yes I've gotta have faith.."

~ George Michael ~ Faith ~

***

So we are now on week 19 of the Gerson Therapy ... yeah crazy how almost 5 months has passed on.  At times it feels quick and other times, it is so so slow.  Over the past weekend, I have been asked with care by friends "how much longer?".  I just smiled at them and said "as long as it takes".  Mainly because I don't know myself.  I struggle with this, wishing I could give a definitive answer, but the reality is that the therapy is a minimum of 18 months.  From what we have been told, the more toxins you have in your body, the slower your body heals because we need to detoxify first before we can rebuild our immune system.  It makes sense if you give it some thought, regardless if you agree with alternative treatments or not.  But I have blogged a great deal about the therapy, in detail, and the other areas of this blog provide more information for anyone that is interested - so I won't do that again today.  Because seriously, you do not have to be diagnosed with cancer to consider a form of nutritional therapy.   

At the moment I have been focusing on my FAITH.  And this is not a blog entry about a type of religion, or a representation of God ... I mean true FAITH  ... trust, hope and belief in the goodness, trustworthiness or reliability of a person, concept or entity.  Oddly, I have heard some say that Faith is the opposite of reason.  It is believing something you know isn't true.  That it is down in your heart, allowing yourself to accept something that you know with your mind could not be possible.  These are the same people that are so skeptical of the whole idea because they think of it as something not connected with the ordinary processes of the mind.  This whole viewpoint makes me sad for them ... closing themselves off from the experience of believing.  Maybe science has programmed them that seeing not feeling is the only believing.  But, just because you have faith, you do not put your intellect to sleep.  On the contrary, Faith is not an irrational thing ... it something we exercise every day in our lives and it began the moment we were born.  


You see when we are faced with challenges, adversities and difficulties, we will ALWAYS prevail IF we refuse to yield.  Society believes that when someone is diagnosed with an "incurable disease", the odds are stacked against them and a healthy life is next to impossible.  Statistics focus on mortality.  Why?  Because the core belief is that the universe is inherently evil.  Evil?  (Yeah ... stay with me on this one ..... )  
Yet, there is no inherent and permanent evil in the world ... infinite intelligence is GOOD all the time.  It is only when we turn away from infinite intelligence that the road becomes rocky.  So why do we like to "perceive evil" ... maybe it allows us to take the responsibility for our own destiny off our shoulders.  We choose to play the victim, you know the phrases "this always happens to me", "I knew this was coming", "I cannot do anything to change this" .... but for those of us that want to become healthy, happy and abundant, we must have no doubt that the universe is inherently good.  You see this realization can be difficult if you have allowed your lack-centered mind infect your subconscious mind.  At first you must believe it, then adhered to it, until it ripens into realization and knowing.


And I now know the sorrows of life can be great and at times, the universe is indeed dark - but sometimes we need the dark to appreciate the light.  Dark is not evil it is just ... well dark.  Our thoughts need organization and direction.  We must chose to supervise this process.  And when we do, our thoughts become obedient servants, leading us to the life we wish to live ... allowing us to tap into the natural order of the universe with is ... inherently good.  And when we stand face to face with truth, we understand that every challenge is a stepping stone to build character that allows us to ultimately triumph.    


Our sorrows can be conquered and used for greater good.  
When we accept these lessons for what they truly are, we manifest health, happiness and abundance we desire.  Evil is a mind virus.  For us to become strong, serene, and at peace, we must have no doubt that the universe is ruled by an Infinite Intelligence that is good.  


And for me this is accomplished by FAITH.  

"Birthday ..."

We gonna come together, We gonna celebrate
We gonna gather round, like it’s your birthday
I don’t wanna know, just what I’m gonna do
I don’t care where you’re going, I’m coming along with you
~ Kings of Leon ~ Birthday ~
***


Yesterday, it was Russell's birthday.  And anyone that knows me, knows that I LOVE birthdays.  LOVE LOVE LOVE Birthdays.  What's not to LOVE?  Birthdays give you the opportunity to celebrate someone's life, their being, their uniqueness, their expression, their humour, their love .... we have a chance to give happiness.  What a beautiful thing - giving happiness.  Making sure we were still staying on my therapy schedule, we spent the day together outdoors and toodled around.  We had fun just spending time being.  


I remember in the past, between hectic work schedules, I would plan a dinner, or a party or some surprise with others.  I would miss the entire point, to frustrated, tired or anxious regarding the planned event.  Two years ago, we celebrated Russell's 40th with a party with his invite list.  When I say that I mean there were people on the list that I didn't really care for.  People that were "friends" when it was a party, but otherwise, you wouldn't hear a peep from.  But I remember thinking to myself, this isn't about you so suck it up.  Russ felt that they somehow affected his life thus far and wanted to include them in his celebration.  So, along with my Mom, we planned the food and drinks, holding it a the local community club.  Funny, I was so concerned on how I would look, if it was good enough, and how I would be judged.  See, absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it was his birthday.  And actually I admit now, so self-absorbed.  So this year was progress for me .... haha, not to make it about me (yikes again!), but privately I reflected on how things have changed in two years - how things have shifted.  And I am happier for it.  I will remember it more fondly than any other birthday we celebrated together.  


And yes it has everything to do with my current situation.  Of course it does ... again forces you to be in the present, really here and NOW.  Today my facebook status is Sorrow looks back ... Worry looks around ... FAITH looks up ♥  Makes sense doesn't it?  Looking up and excited about another chance and another year to live.  Birthdays are an opportunity to end one cycle and begin another.  Perhaps reflect on the previous year, focusing on our accomplishments and understanding our setbacks.  Establishing new goals and navigating on how to pursue them.  Although it wasn't MY birthday, Russell and I have many conversations about where we came from, and meeting ourselves where we are.  As well, where we want to go, what we want to do and how we will get there.  It is awesome to have your best friend and life partner on the same page.  I firmly believe we were meant to be together and in a past life, were as well.  Anyone one reading this, understands that connection.  It's a beautiful thing.


So, Russell and I shared the day, enjoying times of little chatter, and other times of laughter and love.  With lots of well wishes and joy from others, it was a memorable day for both of us.  Feeling blessed and know that life maybe unpredictable, but so precious and to be celebrated each and every day.