When I was a kid
I used to buy and sell gravity
I knew how to fly
And I could teach you for a fee ...
When I was a kid ...
I took a little faith ...
I drove to a strange town
Full of have and have nots
And as I walked through that storybook life
I was looking for an angel to chase the devil at the light
... 'God only helps those
Who learn to help themselves'
He was a million miles from a million dollars
But you could never spend his wealth ...
~ One Republic ~ Preacher ~
Life is full of contradictions ... people often make moral claims that they cannot live up to. There are countless examples of scandals involving leaders who talk publicly about living up to standards, but whose personal lives do not measure up. But if we are truthful, can we honestly say that we perfectly practice what we preach?
Cognitive Dissonance ~ holding two contradicting ideas ...
We all have experienced this ... for example, you know that you want to be healthy, talk about getting fit and strategies on how you will do it all while finishing a bag of potato chips. You see our minds cannot handle contradiction, so we start to rationalize. We take a shortcut that might make us feel better but often ends in a poor choice. We also decide that one of the two ideas is false ... something true is mistaken and your behaviour was incorrect ... because it is easier to rationalize a mistake than to use that mistake to make changes.
So people behave differently than what they would predict they would do. In essence, it is hard to predict what you are going to do in a situation if you are not experiencing that situation. You basically take your best guess about it. Hence your predictions are often inaccurate.
Now in my life, I don’t except unrealistic expectations, lies and empty promises. I know how that story ends, and no thanks. The bottom line is that if you say one thing and do another, it is fake ... the bottom line is you lead by example, period.
And that starts with integrity ... doing that right thing even when no one is looking. Example ... ever notice that the people that lie their way through life always have the “newest” friends?
So start with the truth ...
then you can adjust your behaviour and life to coincide with it,
even if that is difficult at first.
The shift will happen when you address the contradictions. Because rationalizing them away will only bridge the gap between what you do and what is. And the beauty is that those gaps is what allows growth and improvement ... and a life towards your ideal capacity.