" Open ... "

“ ... Times have changed in just a few months

Why can't things be the same

And maybe I'm just a little bit cautious

When it's really open.

And maybe this time

When it's really open.

Spitting fire back and forth now

Times have changed in just a few months ... “

~ Demi Levato ~ Open ~ 

***

How do you live when you know you are dying?  A heavy question to begin with but one that every being has faced head on when with dis-ease.  

Yes, we all live with the fact of impermanence, whether or not we have a life-threatening dis-ease.  It is when we are ill, we begin to have more clarity on how unpredictable life truly is ... and the inevitability that each of us will die in some way, at some time.

Experience with cancer has actually given me the gift of a mindfulness practice.  Within this practice, I see impermanence more clearly and am developing a wiser relationship with it in daily life.  And working on having the ability to face whatever the conditions may be, with intelligence and kindness towards self.  

This mindfulness practice has begun to reveal awareness around the fragility of the body and yet the accessibility towards freedom of mind.  This mindfulness practice has begun to reveal the lack of desire to control the uncontrollable.  This mindfulness practice has begun with acceptance of what is.

I use to struggle with the concept of accepting impermanence along with wanting to live as long as I could.  Now I see cancer as an encounter with impermanence every day because I see the difference between expectations and openness.

Openness is our natural state of mind, allowing positive qualities to be experienced and expressed.  When facing cancer, openness can be obscured by fears and hopes, and expectations must be met.  Openness creates another option, to whatever arises, regardless of the outcome.  

Death is not personal.  We all get a chance at it ... some day in some way.  Hence, an approach of openness can be a source of limitless potential when challenged.  Here we recognize our fears and begin to lessen its grip in the present moment.  Allowing for good medicine for the living and dying ... 

www.walkstrong.ca

" Regret ... "

Maybe I've forgotten

The name and the address

Of everyone I've ever known,

It's nothing I regret ...

I would like a place I can call my own

Have a conversation on the telephone

Wake up everyday, that would be a start

I would not complain 'bout my wounded heart ...

Just wait 'till tomorrow

I guess that's what they all say

Just before they fall apart...

~ New Order ~ Regret ~

***

We grow a lot when we are faced with our own mortality.  We begin to reflect on the past with pride or regret.  And that regret may have common themes that start to surface again and again.  

How many dreams have gone unfulfilled?  How many don’t have the courage to live a life true to self?  How many don’t have the courage to express their true feelings?  

When a loss occurs, we reflect on what we had.  Until we are able to fill it with something or someone else.  We think we have time and we rarely think we will run out of it.  Yet it is very important to try to honour at least some of your dreams along the way.  

By simplifying your lifestyle, making conscious choices and creating more space in your life you become more open to life rather than wishing you did more.

By expressing your feelings in a un-harmful way, you become who you are truly capable of becoming.  Suppressing emotions manifest as a dis-ease or ill-ness in the body.  

By giving relationships the time and effort they deserve, you realize the full benefits of the human connection.  Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

“ ... it is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships ... “

By choosing happiness for you rather than comfort, familiarity or playing it safe.  Fear of change can make you pretend to others, to yourself that you are content.  

So whether it be a wake up call, an epiphany, a mid-life crisis or simply choosing to live the life you want, do it now ... your future self will thank-you for it.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Conscious ... "

“ Now, that I'm here

breaking my relationship with time and space

watching my life through the milky glasses of a window

now it all becomes so clear

If I had the opportunity to smell

the enchanted wind of a spring flower

I would take a deep breathe

to relax ... 

Now, that I'm here

breaking my relationship with time and space

watching my life through the clear glasses of a window

I get aware of the small things which are least the greatest

I left my life

my physical form of life behind

I realize my blunted and senseless way of life

I should have lived my life much more conscious “

~ Kai Tracid ~ Conscious ~ 

***

Most of our conscious choices originate from fear.  We limit ourselves in response to these underlying fears.  When an opportunity to do something outside of our comfort zone, we speak how amazing it would be to just “go for it”, yet we also tell ourselves that it would probably be best to just keep doing what we are doing.  We sabotage our growth into new directions and cultivate a sense of stagnation.

Could we be happier taking more risks?  

Could we gain some satisfaction in trying something new? ... 

When we find that the things we use to do, that gave us contentment, are no longer satisfying, it’s time to make that change.  There is a sense of transition, perhaps outgrowing the old.  And graciously we know that with new endings there are always new beginnings.  

Challenging your limiting beliefs is a great place to start.  Ask yourself if your choices are supporting your intentions or someone else’s expectations?  

Full of excitement and fear, eagerness and anxiety and every other emotion to fill in the gaps, when we make a conscious choice, we take a stand.  And sometimes the reactions and their residual effects creep in.  So, rather than allowing them to feed your self-doubt, consider them as signs along your path.  Use them as a tool for adjustment.  Consider them a blessing rather than a hurdle.

Choosing to live a conscious life is not something you do just once ... it is a way of living.  And thankfully, it is simply thinking about everything you do and say.  Because it matters.  

It is easy to live life on autopilot and do what we always do because that’s what we are use to doing.  Yet it is more fulfilling to live the life we have the potential to experience.  And that choice is always available to us.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Fear ... "

No sleep today

Can't even rest when the sun's down

No time, there's not enough

And nobody's watching me now

When we were children we'd play

Out in the streets just dipped in fate

When we were children we'd say

That we don't know the meaning of

Fear, fear, fear

Fear, fear, fear

We don't know the meaning of

Wish I didn't know the meaning of

~ One Republic~ Fear ~
***

Robert Albert Bloch wrote, anxiety is thin stream of fear trickling through the mind ... if encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.  

This probably resonates with everyone, IF they are really honest with themselves.  Because we all have anxiety about the one thing that will happen to every single one of us ... DEATH.  

And there is something called death anxiety with four types of fear associated with death ... fear of pain, fear of the unknown, fear of non existence and fear of eternal punishment.  But don’t feel so bad because the fear of death is very natural because we are born to stay alive.  The survival instinct within us is coded into our DNA.  We always want “more time”.  We feel we are owed more, we are getting ripped off, life isn’t fair, how can this be happening, but I am a good person ...

And basically we really want to keep the party going ... life is good, or life is great, or life is as it is, pain et al ... but we want more of it.  Our thoughts ... People need you.  You are responsible for so much.  How will they go on without you.  Get the idea? ... there is so much attachment to what we have in our lives and how we play in the story.  WE are the central part in our story.  And so we figure, how will life go on without us? ... reality shows us it always does.  

our fear of death feels like the end of us and the end of all we know ... 

The truth is we are energy and energy can never die.  It only transitions, transforms, and transcends towards another.  Life is equally valuable and fleeting.  It comes to be then replenishes itself by destroying what came before it.  

I hear a great deal about how to live fearlessly and I often wondered what that really meant.  And now slowly it is revealing itself because to live in fear is to live a dying life.  

Truly being here, now and living in the moment allows you to make note of your mortality, not for the sake of celebration but for the sake of gratitude.  Serving as a reminder of why there is joy, available in every moment to you us ... if we choose to access it.  

Ups and downs, ebbs and flows, chaos and calm ... the heartbeat of life.  Giving us the opportunity all while living with “something”, fully, wholly, and wisely in the present.  Enjoying the experience, rather than controlling it and killing the moment.  The moment when added to the next, makes time, into a lifetime worth living.

www.walkstrong.ca