Monday, August 11, 2014

" Feed ... "

I erased you
From my every waking memory
I replaced you
With a vision that you - won't see

Pity is a four letter word
And so is quit
(and so is left but I'm)

Right where you wanted me
Feed from the inside
Out of bitter sympathy ...

~ Sevendust ~ Feed ~

I use to believe that people that support you, love you and respect you will not only acknowledge your emotions but affirm them.  Shoot, I got it half right?! It IS about awareness of what you are IN ... but it is not about affirmation.  Personally, it has taken me to a place, where I ask, “ what am I nurturing in myself?”

You see, in the midst of any crisis, love, kindness, empathy, compassion, humility, peace and honesty are required.  Not only from within but from your primary relationships.  But it doesn’t always work that way.  You don’t need someone to dwell on everything that went wrong, complain about it to anyone who will listen, focus on what is lacking and feed your days through negativity.  

Basically, victim hood does not require a cheering squad!?!
Le sigh ... I know makes no sense right ... I mean if they care about you, why?

Well, my guess is that they are frustrated, angry and feel helpless.  Perhaps they cannot do the one thing you need, rather they jump on your bandwagon and help you down the vortex you are so quickly falling into.  And basically, they are projecting their fear onto you.  Yes, FEAR.  And they genuinely have no idea of what is happening because they. just. love. you.

Yet what you need is a helping hand.  An honest voice.  Someone to tell you that it is time to take responsibility for your actions.  Someone to tell you can’t blame practitioners, authorities, family, friends or employers.  Because at some point in your life, YOU made a decision.  And now this is the consequence.  Acceptance to what is, in my humble opinion, this is where deep healing begins.

Yes, finding yourself surrounded by negativity can be scary.  You could have build your whole life around it.  But ask yourself ... are you better than you were yesterday ... healthier, happier, stronger and more at peace  

Because if you are obeying others, you are not listening to yourself.

Engaging in conversations that feel right, talking about things that excite me, focusing on what makes me feel fortunate is where I am.   I may never feel permanently peaceful, but I can choose to question discontent ... from there I can then develop a self-awareness and hope to give what I’ve gained.

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