Thursday, May 31, 2012

" U Got The Look ... "

Here we are folks
the dream we all dream of:
Boy versus girl in the World Series of Love.
Tell me, have u got the look?
U walked in, I woke up
I've never seen a pretty girl look so tough
baby, u got that look.
Color u peach and black
color me taken aback -
Crucial, I think I want cha ...
You've got the look
~ Prince ~ U Got The Look ~ 
Ever heard “But you don’t LOOK sick ...?”.  I have.  During the past 15 months on the Gerson Therapy, I have heard this many many times.  It makes me wonder how a sick person is “supposed” to look.  If I was to hobble around on crutches, would my illness suddenly become more believable?  You see we understand the visible manifestations of illness such as a broken bone in a cast or hair loss from chemotherapy.  Yet symptoms such as pain, severe fatigue, depression and cognitive impairments are not easily visible to the observer.  And on the type of treatment I am currently on, I don’t look display the  symptoms, because I don’t look the part.  
Now don’t get me wrong ... I take this has a HUGE motivator ...   building my immune system and healing my body of cancer.  I even have been told I look more vibrant and younger now.  Believe me, these are all great compliments and I am extremely grateful because I know that things can always be worse.
Yet in the midst of this illness, one of the more challenging tasks can be gaining support from others.  As if finding a knowledgeable and caring doctor wasn’t difficult enough, finding care and support to surround oneself with can be even more difficult.  Most people are simply not capable of understanding, unless they have the misfortune of an illness of their own.  
I was one of the lucky ones 
... blessed with unconditional love from my husband, family and beautiful friends.  
But we can’t blame anyone because our society visual and expects instant results ... pop a magic pill and all your troubles will go away.  And if that pill doesn’t work, try another and another and ... Most of us have seen the horrid pictures of cancer patients ... deathly.  We are told that we must break down our bodies so that we can truly kill the cancer, and hopefully not kill the patient, right ... your hair must fall out, you must be weak, you must be bedridden ... hmmm but what if that isn’t happening to you ... are you “really” sick???
We all heal uniquely.  Regardless of the lack of symptoms, critical illnesses are stressful, exhausting, and depressing.  Living with cancer, I may not “look” the part, but I sure do “feel” the part ... I hang on, day after day.  I see countless doctors, take numerous medications and tests, do endless research, and continue hoping that the answer is just around the next corner.  
I take nothing for granted now ... and I appreciate empathy but that is not to be mistaken with sympathy.  I am not interested in playing the C card because I know that my thoughts completely dominate my profile of health.  
... what is important is to be empowered by your choices, seeing them doing good in your “mind” eye, regardless as to how you “should” look to others ... 

ॐ Live Well, Be Well 

No comments:

Post a Comment