" Conditional ... "

“ ... Try to try to try to forget 

To change the things about me 

You can not accept 

Any day that you have regret 

Just let it recede 

It's conditional 

Not for free 

There are strings attached 

Tied to me 

I'll want something back 

If you agree 

To be in love with me ... “

~ Tracy Chapman ~ Conditional ~

***

Love, unconditionally, no matter what, for eternity.  We intend for our intimate relationships to reflect this yet what they are based on need or something deeper ... what if subconsciously, we are eroding our relationships ...

Love doesn’t have to be earned

Love doesn’t have to be proved

When you love unconditionally.  it means exactly that ... no conditions ... not based on what you do or what you’ve done ... or what they do, or what they’ve done.  It is based on who you are because authentic love is consistent.  You may express your opinions, you may disagree, but underneath it, that love never stops.  

Love means you are responsible for your own happiness ...

When we are raised with conditional love, we have this deep need to seek approval, and people pleasers are born.  But, we will always come up short because the constant strive to earn love will never end.  

Love is a grace we give one another ...

When we love others simply for who they are, we accept what is.  We love naturally, we share this gift ... it is why we are here.  Expressing unconditional love is a practice.  A practice involving reflection, empathy, forgiveness and compromise.  Life doesn’t go as planned ... people don’t behave as expected ... all we can do is adapt.

Chaos will always reveal true colours ... will they still love you unconditionally. if you don’t agree ... will they still love you unconditionally. if you choose to do something different ... will they still love you unconditionally.

To love unconditionally is to love with absolutely no boundaries, even when it hurts, because unconditional love is limitless.  This type of love looks beyond faults, struggles, and whatever pain and hardships that life may bring.  This type of love is what’s called unconditional.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Shake It Off ... "

But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving

It's like I got this music in my body and it's gonna be alright

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate ... 

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

I'll never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet

And that's what they don't see mmm, that's what they don't see mmm ... 

I, I shake it off, I shake it off

~ Taylor Swift ~ Shake It Off ~

***

When you feel no need to defend your thoughts, opinions, or ideas, you can deal with life knowing that you are empowered, your faith is strong, and you are able to shake “it” off.  

Faith comes from our own ability to recognize the influence the world has around us actually comes from within us.  Rather than being driven to prove our place, we become confidant in our actions, behaviours and words.  So when life events occur, we tap into that place to manage, cope and deal.

The need to engage in confrontations or conflict, and trying to defend ourselves is no longer required.  We have confidence in the moment and secure with our personal power.  

We don’t feel the need to be right, or teach a lesson, or point out a mistake, or preach.  We learn that every one has their own journey full of successes and failures to experience.  We learn that we are in no position to judge, unless we open ourselves up to be judged.  We learn loving compassion and kindness for those that disagree with our point of view.  We find that people can have different opinions, but still respect one another.  And we learn that the we have very little control of an outcome.

For those whom don’t resonate with these ideas, subconsciously we all demonstrate faith, daily ... if we are blessed to live another day.  When catastrophes happen, we don’t fall apart, even if we think we may.  We are only as strong as we allow ourselves to be and what we believe will manifest ...

Personally, I started with developing a trustworthiness of the Universe.  I opened my mind and heart to the possibility of anything.  I detached myself from the outcome, and began to take notice along the way.  And I freed myself of others through forgiveness and listened to my heart’s deep desire.  I realized that no one is perfect and expecting myself and others to live up to a fictitious standard results in suffering.  

By living each day in a state of unshakable faith, it grows to support me when facing predicaments ... it is a practice, a practice of gratitude for what is and appreciation for whatever comes.  When you find yourself fully immersed in this space, faith is ... unshakable ... 

www.walkstrong.ca

" How ... "

There’s a time and place

For one more sweet embrace

And is time ... 

Time can come and take away the pain

But I just want my memories to remain

To hear your voice

To see your face

There’s not one moment I’d erase ... 

How can I forget your love?

How can I never see you again?

~ Regina Spektor ~ How ~

***

I’ve heard a lot of talk about checking things off your bucket list.  Making sure you have the experience, while you can, before you go.  And it makes sense, as I’ve myself talked about as well ... but I also believe it’s not only about checking things off your bucket list, its about being present in every moment.

Being present in every moment allows you to fully experience the now.  Sounds simple, but as most of us know by now, difficult to stay present when there are many many many things to distract you into the past or future.

So how do you live your life ... bucket list or presence?  Most will answer, presence of course.  But when was the last time you couldn’t call a friend because you were busy planning your trip, from your bucket list?  You know you’ll get to it, eventually, yet eventually sometimes doesn’t come.  And so you have all these wonderful experiences you can broadcast all over social media, to social media friends ... and completely be disconnected from society.  We’ve all either read about it, or are the one writing it at some time ...

For some, an opportunity to detach from relationships and check out LIFE.  For others, there is a quest for balance.  To be able to do what you want to do and share with those you wish to share with.  Yet life seem so busy for so many.  I hear from others how their lives are full of ... stuff.  Stuff that causes suffering.  But this suffering is familiar.  So on with the busy-ness of life.  And that is “how” most of us live ... busy planning out next experience.

But, hey you are the only judge regarding “how” you live your life ... thrive on adventure or human connections.  You have the free will, how you live your life.  But does your how bring regrets?  Regrets that you didn’t spend enough time, you didn't put enough energy into, you didn’t say what you have to say, or you didn’t do what you wanted to do ...

Is it as simple to decide in this very moment “how” you will pass each moment going forward?  Simple concept that requires moment by moment practice .

Move with purpose, have an intention ...

How we live our lives is an example of who we are, not what we say we are going to do, or going to be ... but how.  How we live and how we treat others.  And it is never too late ... to change how you want the rest of your life to be.

" KickStart ... "

You want me to come over

I got an excuse

Might be holding your hand

But I'm holding it loose

Go to talk then we choke

It's like our necks in a noose

Avoid the obvious

We should be facing the truth

Start to think it could be fizzling out

Kinda shocked because I never really had any doubts

Look into your eyes, imagine life without ya

And the love kickstarts again

Starts again

And the love kickstarts again

Starts again

~ Example ~ KickStart ~ 

***

We all set an example by simply being.  And for those of us with the extra challenge of a health concern, it is critical.  Being Present.

We focus on the future generation and our children when leading by example, being good role models and parents.  Yet there are times when we need someone to lead us.

During times of uncertainty and darkness, 

we look to those with strength and courage to lighten the load.

During times of sadness and grief, 

we look to those with love and support to carry us through.

Personally speaking, it has been possible to still live, hold a job, take care of families & friends, and remain active in the community ... with cancer.  Now, life has more meaning, more purpose, more value.  Now, living this life is about creating an environment where others can feel comfortable in sharing what they are facing.  A calling, a purpose ... whatever it may be, regardless, it feels good to be useful.

And there is always help along he way.  Blessed to have a few in my life who inspire me every day with their passion, their zest, their spark, their wisdom, their guidance and the simple love of life ... no matter what challenge they are facing.  They motivate me to live authentically from heart and soul because they’ve taught me that perhaps this diagnosis is a part of my life and not necessarily the cause of my death.

We find ourselves in situations out of our control.  Cancer can be one of them.  It is unpredictable and it is a game.  A game to get ahead of it and neutralize it.  And just when you think you’ve got it figured out, there is another lesson to be learned.  A journey full of suffering and blessings all packaged into one.  

Acceptance ...

Leading by example implies you take responsibility and choose as what you are going to do with your challenge.  And so you have a choice ... do you let it define you or do you let it drive you?  Because either way, life is happening through you, not to you.  Choosing what you do with it determines how you live ... your example to all those around you.  The way you live, act and behave matters.  Consider what your influence, how you want to be remembered and what is your legacy.  

Because setting an example by the way you be 

is the only authentic way to positively influence your world ...

www.walkstrong.ca

"You Matter To Me ... "

Look up, the sky is crying

Endless tears

Feels like my whole world's dying

It hurts when you're not here ... 

'Cause you matter to me and that's why

You still matter to me

You still matter to me, yes you do ...

And that's the only reason I need, ain't no lie

~ KISS ~ You Matter To Me ~

***

Life truly is beautiful and timing can be Divine even when you feel like your may be sucked down into a vortex of ... when you don’t know where to turn or who to turn, it can happen.  A message, a sign, a indication that ... everything is as it should be.

As cryptic as this may sound, today has been one of those days.  One of those days that I needed to hear it.  You know those times you wonder if you were to drop today, would it matter.  Graciously, to some it does.  And NO this is not a “victimhood ~ I feel bad ~ please feel sorry for me” situation.  This is reality, mine.  With every day, the courage we all need to face whatever life throws us ... but some moments it is just. too. hard.  And sometimes, you just. need. help.

In having one of those moments, I felt that I would receive some message, sign or indication ... that what I do matters, in this moment.  And it happened.  An call, kind words, support, love and authentic expression.  How precious for someone to be vulnerable and tell another that they matter.  Those words made my heart sing and my eyes weep ... ever so grateful for her courage and expression.

Do we say it enough ... Do we show it enough ... 

and how much is enough?  

Living a life full of regrets is a miserable existence ... and in my opinion an entire waste of the “gift” of living.  Why bother?  Taking it for granted and focusing on the lack.  It is habitual, we all do it ... even the most inspiring person you know does, albeit privately.  Because strong people are looked upon to cope, to lead and to take charge.  And sometimes they put their own hurt and exhaustion aside when other rely on them.  

“ ... show up to life each day, often with a smile on your face, 

and they’d never know how tough it is for you to keep doing that ... “

I read recently that “ ... reassurance is no substitute for healthy self-esteem, but even the healthiest of us need to hear it sometimes ... “.  So why are we so afraid of asking for it and so resistant to giving it?  

FEAR

This fear is often justified because you may be the one that is usually gives the reassurance.  So how can YOU ask for help?  You got it figured out, you seem to be okay, so why do you need help?  

And there it is  ... an image that you are holding onto.  
The image that “I’ve got my shit together”.  
So how can it be tarnished by ASKING for help?  

I mean, aren’t you the one that has this figured out already???  

Drop the self-criticism  judgement and the drama that goes with it.  And you may as well drop the cape, tight pants and mask because even with all the work you've put in, you can find yourself in a situation where you can’t get your emotions to listen to reason.  You can be your own hero, but sometimes you need a break .... and sometimes you’ve used everything in your “spiritual tool box” ... and just when you think you can't ... a friendly voice says “hey, it’s okay to let me be the strong one in this moment”.  

I am learning every day that to be strong is to show your vulnerability, your times of needing help and your times of not having it all put together.  Those are the times you can share the load, the burden ... a precious gift, because healing occurs when we are truly heard.

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world 

~ Robin Williams

www.walkstrong.ca