" The Grudge ... "

Wear the grudge like a crown of negativity

Calculate what we will or will not tolerate

Desperate to control all and everything

Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen

Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all comes down.

Justify denials and grip 'em to the lonesome end.

Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all comes down.

Terrified of being wrong. Ultimatum prison cell.

Give away the stone. Let the oceans take and

Transmutate this cold and fated anchor.

Give away the stone. Let the waters kiss and

Transmutate these leaden grudges into gold.

Let go ...

~ Tool ~ The Grudge ~ 

***

Recently during various conversations, I found myself saying within “ pick your evil “.  And with differing opinions, it made sense ... 

So what exactly was this in reference to?  In a nutshell, grudges.  Yeah, grudges, because I am learning that love, forgiveness and holding grudges work together.

... depending on your definition of a grudge that is ... 

Some will hold a bitter grudge against anyone who looks at them funny.  A full body grudge armour approach brought to a battle of one.  If you find yourself easily provoked into fury, seek help.  Yet, if you are aware of your mood, spiral down the vortex of negativity whenever you encounter a certain someone ... hold that grudge.

... a grudge can work for you rather than against you ... 

You see, if you acknowledge another’s foibles, you have the choice to keep yourself at a safe emotional distance from them ... because simply put, unless shown differently, they could mess up your life, again ... so, hold that grudge.

Perhaps we humans underestimate how hurt will affect us over time.  We tend to assume that the more painful injuries, the big ones, the ones committed by loved ones, will cause the most pain over time.  It seems that when our hurt is major, we find ways to reason ... yet when pain is minor, we boil and stew and stew and stew.

So if this whole concept doesn’t work for you, how do you decide who you forgive and who you don't?  why do you nurse grudges about small things, but forgive the big ones? ... and do you recognize a biased nature, supporting the those horrible actions seeking redemption, only to judge and jury another who merely littered in the street?

We owe it to ourselves to let go whatever it is that no longer serves us.  Trust yourself, the answers always lie within ... and I hear “ pick your evil “.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Conditional ... "

“ ... Try to try to try to forget 

To change the things about me 

You can not accept 

Any day that you have regret 

Just let it recede 

It's conditional 

Not for free 

There are strings attached 

Tied to me 

I'll want something back 

If you agree 

To be in love with me ... “

~ Tracy Chapman ~ Conditional ~

***

Love, unconditionally, no matter what, for eternity.  We intend for our intimate relationships to reflect this yet what they are based on need or something deeper ... what if subconsciously, we are eroding our relationships ...

Love doesn’t have to be earned

Love doesn’t have to be proved

When you love unconditionally.  it means exactly that ... no conditions ... not based on what you do or what you’ve done ... or what they do, or what they’ve done.  It is based on who you are because authentic love is consistent.  You may express your opinions, you may disagree, but underneath it, that love never stops.  

Love means you are responsible for your own happiness ...

When we are raised with conditional love, we have this deep need to seek approval, and people pleasers are born.  But, we will always come up short because the constant strive to earn love will never end.  

Love is a grace we give one another ...

When we love others simply for who they are, we accept what is.  We love naturally, we share this gift ... it is why we are here.  Expressing unconditional love is a practice.  A practice involving reflection, empathy, forgiveness and compromise.  Life doesn’t go as planned ... people don’t behave as expected ... all we can do is adapt.

Chaos will always reveal true colours ... will they still love you unconditionally. if you don’t agree ... will they still love you unconditionally. if you choose to do something different ... will they still love you unconditionally.

To love unconditionally is to love with absolutely no boundaries, even when it hurts, because unconditional love is limitless.  This type of love looks beyond faults, struggles, and whatever pain and hardships that life may bring.  This type of love is what’s called unconditional.

www.walkstrong.ca