Friday, August 30, 2013

" Fading Away ... "

If I can't see what's in front of me
It's a mystery
Well than apparently
Things just ain't the same ...
Can't you see that your fading
And I finally realized ...
You're fading away
~ Rihanna ~ Fading Away ~

I read something powerful today ... “Running away from any problem only increases the distance from the solution ... the easiest way to escape from a problem is to solve it.”
Right ... now who is going to voluntarily sign up for conflict?  Well I guess if we view a problem  as measurable milestones than it isn’t the monumental tasks it originally appears to be?

Believing that almost all challenges and problems can be overcome is the key ... and then comes determination, focus, discipline, execution and ... patience.  Yet most people have problems with conflict and will avoid disagreements at all costs.  And the issue is that never talking things through and resolving differences is also unhealthy for other relationships.

... becoming flooded with conflict and prone to struggle with how to remain in difficult conversations in calm and productive ways ...

Scenario 1: some people directly refuse to discuss an issue and will use comments like “You are being unreasonable and I refuse to talk with you about this” or “We never get anywhere when we argue and I am not going to talk anymore.”
Scenario 2: Other people might actually leave the room or leave the conversation emotionally and it is clear that the conversation is one-sided. 

... avoiding a lengthy give-and-take conversation does not lead to “buying in” to a decision ...

It is easy to imagine that it will take too long to solve a situation/problem and go into an experience of helplessness and gloom.  But realizing that this is self manipulation to not take responsibility and face your reality.  You know the decisions that lead to a prompt leave from responsibility ... direct yourself to seek a way out ... creating a point of easy way out by finding excuses of what you need to do, a distraction from what you could give energy to.

So stop and breathe ... and believe that resolution is possible.  And be selfish about it ... it is better for you to confront so you can heal.  You don’t want to be swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.  Because if you are unforgiving, you may subconsciously bring left over negative emotions into new experiences, you may lose joy in the present moment, you may feel your life lacks meaning or purpose.

Forgiveness is a doorway for change.  
And think about a time when you were in their situation ... 
practice empathy.

Begin by reflecting on facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being.  Then when you are ready, actively choose to forgive the person who offended you.  The key is to move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life.  Letting go of grudges gives you the allowance to no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt, rather by who you truly are.

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