" Discover ... "

On the city and your skin now

I didn’t have to be afraid

I didn’t have to feel so stupid

I can see myself

I can feel ...

This is where I am

I see the city rise up tall

The opportunities and possibilities

I have never felt so called ...

Remember that

Oh how I look back and reflect

How I felt it

How it set

I don’t have to feel so wrong now ...

Discover ...

~ REM ~ Discoverer ~

***

What does it take to discover who YOU really ARE?  An illness, a death, a tragedy ... perhaps.  Regardless, the process is a scary one ... a mirror in front of you seeing if you can let go of the mask of who you have been and embrace who you really are. 

I said to Russ the other day, 

“ I finally feel like the person I am meant to be ... 

life is starting to be in alignment ...”.  

And honestly, quite a relief.  

For most of us, it is easier to simply play the “roles” expected of us, so that we maintain images and ideas around who we are.  This falsehood can become comfortable ... well it did for me, because I thought if “they really knew who I was” they wouldn’t like me.  I was afraid to reveal who I really was, simply because I didn’t feel like I was worthy of it.

Also, I realized that the more insecure I was, the more egotistical I was ... yeah chew on that for awhile, cause I sure did!  So how does that work?  Well, you think “everything” has to do with you ... you are consumed with others opinions, decisions and reactions that “must” be because of how you look and are.  Reality check:  only MY life revolves around me.

Funny how discovering of self happens when it does.  Meaning there is no set age or event that instigates this as some may not even experience all the lessons they need to learn in their current life.  Simply, it is meant to be according to where we are on our journey and what it is we are here for in this life.  

What does life ask of you, versus what do you ask of this life?  

essentially, our greater purpose ...

And yes, discovering my authentic self has been a painful experience ... being vulnerable, having to let go of years of conditioning ... people who no longer serve me as I scratch the surface of the core of my soul and being.

What do we really know ... that the only guarantee in life is continual change because you can’t count on it going as you planned.  Life delivers various misfortunes, mostly beyond control, and the you that is always in control is an illusion.  Now I am learning no matter how intelligent I may think I am (or my ego thinks) I will only create turmoil for myself by clinging to this false identity.

We often hear about “walking your own path” ... so what does that mean?  I see it as stepping up a staircase ... learning that each step directs you towards discovering what no longer resonates with the you YOU are.  Oddly stepping "up" can feel like falling "down" because of what you let go ~ the familiarity, the comfort, the safety and the solitude ... or the people, ideas, behaviours and beliefs.

This has rattled me to the core, to my soul ... to my essence and has been very lonely at times.  Yet understanding who I really am involves overcoming misconceptions about who I am not.  

The greatest challenge I face after discovering me is 

learning how to respond to life in light of this insight and wisdom ...

Ultimately, I hope that knowing what is essentially me will prepare me to meet the chaos of life with a clear mind and an open heart.  I hope that developing this clarity and awareness will provide much comfort and stability when it is needed the most ... 

" Lose Yourself ... "

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment

Would you capture it or just let it slip? ...

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you

(You better)

~ Eminem ~ Lose Yourself ~ 

***

Do you ever ask yourself what “role” you are playing in your life at this exact moment?  Do you ever think that you are not playing the role which you want to play in your life?  Do you ever feel like you are losing yourself?

The choices we make in our lives decide how we step onto our life stage, either as a lead actor or an understudy.  We are the author and actor of our own life story.  We decide what parts to play, what scenes to cut and what curtain calls to take.

Yet sometimes instead of playing the lead, we blend into the sidelines ... instead of acting in our story, we allow others to act on us.  Do we really want to turn the spotlight away from being the subject of the drama to being the object in the limelight?

And what about the number of roles we play in our lives ~ parent, spouse, child, sibling, employee, mentor, teacher, support person, coach ... and on and on.  We play several roles in the course of a day regardless to how important they may seem.  Also, it is very common to think your role is your purpose.  Mainly because it brings you great satisfaction and is so rewarding.  But when you think this is your purpose and you lose it, you may be in danger of losing yourself.  

But what if we use our role to find our purpose.  Find what motivates and empowers us.  Your life purpose is the thread that runs through your life ... the thing you do without thinking.  And the beauty is when you know what your life purpose is, you will change as your role changes with ease and grace.

So focus on the impact you are making on stage rather than the role you are playing.  And although your role may seem insignificant, its all in how you view the part you play.  Life is full of happiness and fulfilling when you believe YOUR role to be important and serve a purpose in life ... helping you to act in losing, finding and loving yourself.

"And if Hollywood made your life into a movie, would you even go see it?  

if not, then it's time to rewrite the script"