" Glitter and Trauma ... "

Your potential is underused, 

your skin will break into 

jigsaw shaped pieces of meat, 

you'll fall apart.

You can save them all.

I believe that you can.

Even though... you never listen.

You never listen ...

But you are, the human, strobe.

You are the human strobe ...

We are, like lightening, surrounded.

You are the human strobe.

~ Biffy Clyro ~ Glitter and Trauma ~ 

***

Experiencing a traumatic event such as a cancer diagnosis can be emotionally devastating.  Without support, the traumatic event can get struck in the nervous system leading to long-lasting distress.  Yet there can be a benefit to stressful life experiences ... psychological growth and positive changes can result.

Trauma ~ you can either go through it or grow through it

Upon reflection, I am focusing on growth during this leg of my journey ...

Growth ... difficult experiences deepen relationship bonds and give me the opportunity to see how deeply people care for me ... new appreciation for the relationships I have.

Growth ... difficult experiences lead to new activities, lifestyles and/or relationships that make my life more meaningful, rich and satisfying.

Growth ... difficult experiences help me learn how strong I am and what I can bear.

Growth ... difficult experiences give me a spiritual message to change the direction of my life & deepening of my faith.

Growth ... difficult experiences provide a greater appreciation of the life I have and connection with the simple pleasures of life.

Surviving a trauma may represent a second chance to rebuild your life and implement the lessons learned.  Even if you make mistakes or do some things you regret, you did what you had to do to survive and that is something to be proud of.

As well, a traumatic event helps you find everyday happiness in the life you have now.  I think about what I have learned by going through my current challenge and how I can use this to help not only myself but others around me, to create something of personal or societal value.  

Primarily, I have learned that growth and hope can co-exist with grief.  These are my ups and downs.  I learn to anticipate and I learn to manage.  More importantly, I am gentle with myself on  days when it is just too difficult to see the positive in the chaos of the trauma.  I trust that all is as it should be for my highest good ...

" Stages ... "

I ain't got a single thing to do.

It happened before I knew what was going on.

I fell out and knew that I was gone.

Stages keep on changing,

stages rearranging love ...

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tell me it's for real and let me know

why does lovin' have to come and go.

Stages keep on changing,

stages rearranging love.

~ ZZ Top ~ Stages ~

***

I find myself in an interesting space when asked “what stage are you?”.  Do I answer the stage of my diagnosis, the stage of my emotions or the stage of my healing.  I guess it is safe to assume that most are referring the “illness”.  Yet for me, my answer is around emotions and healing because that is where I think my focus should be.

As I move along my healing journey, I am learning how quickly my emotions can destabilize which trigger feelings of insecurity and a greater loss of control.  I am learning how chaos, confusion and even symptoms of depression arise ... and I am learning on their presence mean healing is taking place.  Ironic isn’t it?  Yet like much of life, it is a universal process that allows one to learn that this very chaos is very necessary.

For me, illness is where I must let go of my identity as a “sick” person and embrace my life as a healthy person ...

Thanks to my primary health practitioner and meditation teacher, I have learned that stages of healing can be felt on many levels of your being ... physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.  And since we are all unique, and cope differently, the sequence of stages (below) vary ... but we do move in and out of each at our own pace ... taking days, months or even years.  Positive or negative, the need for healing allows the old identity to make way for the new.

Shock ~ sudden crisis, trauma, uncontrollable loss, emotional numbness, disbelief and or the inability to mentally comprehend the situation

Denial ~ life seems unreal, sense of “this cannot be happening”, time to fully comprehend what is occurring, safety mechanism designed to stop you from losing control

Pain ~ anger, frustration, resentment and even envy, asking “why me”, feelings of desperation, unfairness and unjust, 

Bargaining ~ due to feelings of guilt, you give up something, make a sacrifice or dedicate your life to servicing hoping that things will right themselves, a subconscious way of balancing out the scales

Depression ~ feelings of can’t do this anymore, can’t go on or what is the point?, spirit is low, losing hope, despair, feeling defeated, lack of motivation and enthusiasm

Surrender ~ resignation to the situation which allows acceptance, practicing letting go of things in your life that are not as important, provides relief because you release the resistance and stress associated with it

Recovery and Reconstruction ~ after you surrender and accept your situation, you are ready to take responsibility of your life and how you feel once again, you have the ability to express yourself fully, you begin to learn who you are and you like what you see

Rebirth and Renewal ~ ready to change your life so you can start again, encouraged by your progress and may feel the need to go on a retreat to get to know yourself even better

Moving on ~ coming out of a time of loss and change from what you had to leave behind, you attract new and excitement into your life ... your new life.

You don't have to have an illness to identify with the above.  Life is full of stages which allows us all to go through small or large healing processes.  And every stages has its place on the road to recovering your true self, soul and spirit.  I have found that you can find your way back home, but now, I am different because my difficult experiences and the subsequent strengths and resources developed have transformed me.

So where do I go from here ... to the present.  I have to challenge myself to not look too far backward or too far forward.  I have learned that losses are not a good reason for living anymore.  And I know that my diagnosis does not diminish my humanity.

May we all strive to live in the moment with consciousness, patience, compassion and appreciation for each other, in spite of all the pain of our losses ...

" The Best Of What's Around ... "

Hey my friend 

It seems your eyes are troubled 

Care to share your times with me 

Would you say you're feeling low and so 

A good idea would be to get it off your mind ...

... Whatever tears at her 

Whatever holds her down 

And if nothing can be done 

She'll make the best of what's around 

~ Dave Matthews Band ~ The Best Of What’s Around ~

***

Ever heard the saying “you are a product of your environment?”  I believe so.  You may recall recently I wrote about how excited I was to receive “The Biology Of Belief” By Bruce H. Lipton.  Specializing in cell biology, Dr. Lipton is an internationally recognized leader in bridging science and spirit; a key voice in new biology ... linking mind and matter and the profound effects it has on our lives.  

Science ... more and more evidence is showing that cells respond to environmental cues and these signals engage processes that can alter gene expression and thereby control the fate of the cells ... movement, survivial and even death.  Now some of you maybe thinking, but what about all the study supporting the correlation between genetics and dis-ease?  Yes, there are dis-eases that can be accounted for by a faulty gene, but they affect < 2% of the population.  

Dr. Lipton further explains this by “consider genes as molecular blueprints used in the construction of cells, tissues and organs.  The environment is a contractor, who reads and engages those genetic blueprints and is ultimately responsible for the character of the cell’s life.  It is a single cell’s awareness of the environment that primarily sets into motion the mechanisms of life”.

This hits home for me.  You see, when it came to my breast cancer diagnosis, there is no history of it in my family.  And at the time, my doctor casually stated that 5% of cases are heredity.  Therefore I strongly believe my environment and belief system played the greatest role in my health.

Spirit ... so is it possible that what happens throughout our lifetime can determine whether we develop many of the dis-eases our society faces today ... heart disease, diabetes and cancer.  The health of our cells are influenced greatly by our unconscious belief system ... one of the biggest environmental determinants.  These beliefs can either create an environment of growth or protection within our bodies.  Fear-based or love-based.  Stunting or empowering our cells to reach their full potential.  Our cells are always listening to our thoughts and beliefs.

Most of us have limiting beliefs that have accumulated through our childhood and the course of our lives.  Yet we can release these limits by changing the view of our world to a healthy one ... safe and loving, creating a sense of appreciation and respect for ourselves and others.  Believing we are loved, worthy, and cared for.  A new perspective to take you from a victim position to a co-creator of your destiny ... and from experience, trust me, it works.