Sunday, July 21, 2013

" Macho Insecurity ... "

Name one thing on earth lower than a tough guy
Who talks with his fists instead of using his head ...
Behind the muscle mask is a scared little boy 
called Macho insecurity ...
Macho insecurity
'Cause you can't stand yourself 

Why do you want people to be so afraid of you?
Why are you so scared of anything that's different?
No one's ever there when you need friends
You wonder why:
It's 'cause you take yourself so seriously
But being such a clown
Gives the rest of us the right to laugh
At your Macho Insecurity
'Cause you can't stand yourself

~ Dead Kennedys ~ Macho Insecurity ~

Insecurity robs our life and relationships of zest.  
Insecurity makes us approach everything in a self-conscious, defensive and anxious way.  
Insecurity alters feelings of gratitude, satisfaction and happiness.  
Insecurity covers our lives with a dark shadow of struggle and doubt.  

With all this in mind, why are we still insecure?

To answer this we have to understand insecurity, mainly where it comes from.  I believe it comes from lack of self-love and faith, because even though it may appear to be about money, looks or relationships, it’s root cause is lack of self-love.  Also, self-pity plays a huge factor.  When you are insecure, you don’t feel worthy and therefore you constantly pacify your ego through reassurances and special attention.

And macho insecurity is rooted in fear of loss.  It is extreme.  When you are unable to depend on yourself, you create unhealthy dependencies with others ... they become your source of strength and meaning.  Yet such support systems can cause pain because you have given up your control to another person.  Oddly this power dynamic causes you to feel weak and hence, insecure.

But we are not born insecure, so where does it come from?

Some feel that it factors such as an unstable childhood, rigid and critical upbringing, over-achieving siblings, painful life events and lack of guidance all contribute to an insecure mindset.

So how can you cope with insecurity?

By opening up and sharing your inner fears.  Many people are scared of being vulnerable.  Yet by stopping the cycle of mitigating our insecurities with external reassurances, express yourself.

By finding inner stillness.  Through meditation you can begin to slowly release tensions and anxiety, you can begin to find your core ... calm and divine.

By surrendering and letting go of outcomes.  When you let go of your fears you can live with faith that what is to be will be.  We are merely floating down the river without oars believing the current beneath us will carry us to our ultimate destination.

By separating reality from fear.  When we operate from insecurities, we operate from a place that is built on fantasy, not reality.  Use your rational and ask if your fear based on evidence and where it stems from.

Insecurity dissolves when we discover our own power, strengths and realize nothing external can fulfill our needs.  Our inner life is independent of others and when we find inner peace the desperate need for others disappears.  They become a part of our life, not life itself.  

Strive for a healthy relationship with oneself ... one in which you can express yourself, be open and vulnerable and ultimately surrender your fears to the Divine.

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