" Dear God ... "

“ … Dear God the only thing I ask of you
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you 

And now I wish I'd stayed

'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired

I'm missing you again oh no

Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away

I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways

Once again… “

~ Avenged Sevenfold ~ Dear God ~

***

“ I guess you’ve found God now “ was recently said.

Initially perplexed, I answered … “ I am learning to let go of fear with the intention to live the rest of this life with purpose and clarity “

You should have seen the expression on their face. ... 

Naturally during times of illness, great pain and suffering, we may gravitate toward a spiritual practice, as it provides a way sometimes to heal the grief, sadness and bitterness all held up in our hearts.  Spirituality can be a means to cope.

Yet personally speaking, it isn’t about have a better connection with God. It is about having a better connection with Life.  Not believing that a Divine being out in the Universe will grant me immortality, rather I’ve been exploring the dysfunctional relationship I have had with life  …   

Each moment, each day, dealing with what comes up … and realizing that when I face a type of suffering, my faith is tested.  True faith begins with detachment becoming open to whatever arises, the unknown.  An opportunity in the face of this unknown to experience a special kind of peace, that there are infinite possibilities.  Faith is about letting go of certain outcome, a certain solution. Faith is about trusting the process.  Faith is believing All Is Well, regardless of what is.

This comes at a time when acceptance is necessary.  That a certain solution may not exist.  That you don’t have to figure it all out in this moment.  And that maybe there really is nothing TO figure out.  Shifting to a place of being, and tired of doing.  I often think of cancer or any severe illness as a type of dance.  Hoping to take the lead and be in control but not knowing it could switch in a moment.

And so spirituality allows me to shift to a place of acceptance … to manage, cope, deal and thrive, despite of this challenge.  Great words to live by and a guiding mantra recited within every day.  As I said recently to family, no one said this was going to be easy.  Yet having the ability to let go during times of darkness is where my faith truly prevails.  

“ … rather than being better. today. be there for yourself. when you wander or feel stagnant. know your path and you are one. and just like your breath. up and down. your path is about learning. to love. you. unconditionally. so today sweet soul. trust what is within you. enjoy who you are. more than enough … “

www.walkstrong.ca

" Embrace The End ... "

" The ending

That peace could grow inside of you

Inspite of me ... Humanity

I hope you’re out there somewhere ... 

Does anyone care

To disagree with me

Admit defeat we bleed

In disbelief

I hear the whole world

Welcome the way that we

Embrace the ending ...

Humanity 

I hope your out there somewhere "

~ Mushroomhead ~ Embrace The End ~

***

Endings are not always easy, even when you see them coming.  Loss is traumatic, even when you prepare yourself for the experience.  Yet with endings comes new beginnings, an opportunity for transformation.

Beginnings start to shape into something joyful yet painful ... exciting yet uncertain ... all at once.  You could stay focused on all of the newness to avoid the farewells, but then you miss honoring the very best parts of what came before. By acknowledging the joy and the sorrow, you can bring your loves and lessons into your new beginning.

We may initiate some of the beginnings and endings, but ready or not, many happen on their own schedule.  I have found that it is more productive to drop the judgement and begin by embracing the end ... 

I am open.  

I let go of my need to hold on to the past or attempts to control the future.  

I allow things to unfold.  

I notice the small shifts as change can occur at snail or warp speed, regardless of my preference.  

I ask for help.  I admit that I don’t know what I am doing.  

I am grateful for the support which helps me find laughter and joy in the process.

I don’t filter my feelings.  I own them 

... I tell a friend, I write, I release them in a un-harmful way.  

I find stillness.  I can’t stop time but I can make room to pause and access before moving forward.  

By becoming aware that change in upon us, we can embrace endings with calmness and truly trust the process of life.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Wounded ... "

... It's like walking with the wounded 

Carrying that weight way too far 

The concrete pulled you down so hard 

Out there with the wounded ... 

You tell 'em, that's just my battle scar ...

And knock 'em down like we used to 

You're the marigold ...

Well nobody took your pride away ...

You say you don't know 

You say you can't grow 

All I know is we're missing you 

Show up, show up wounded 

Show up, show up wounded

~ Third Eye Blind ~ Wounded ~

***

We all have had experiences that create a sense of pain or discomfort ... welcome to Life.  In truth, we are all wounded ... emotionally, physically and spiritually ... and these wounds are what allow us to evolve into our true self.

As we continue on this amazing journey of Life, we interact with people that act as angels or lessons.  And we develop “battle scars” along the way.  But we also get to choose if we are going to be wounded wounders or wounded healers ... either we use our wounds to wound others or take the energy, lessons and compassion gained from being wounded and help others heal.

“May we all become more loving, less fearful; more forgiving, less vengeful, more compassionate, less judgmental, 

more healing, less wounding ...”

Shifting from fear to love, we choose from hurting to healing.  We realize our connection and oneness ... and therefore when we would hurt others we would hurt ourselves and we cannot heal another without experiencing healing ourselves.  Moving into a more loving, more patient, and more gentle space in our life.

The path of the wounded healer is not an easy one, yet one with the greatest of rewards ... providing the ultimate service by helping another soul through their unique experiences ... giving the ultimate gift by sharing their time and knowledge to someone in need.  

" Shiny Happy People ... "

Shiny happy people laughing

Meet me in the crowd

People people

Throw your love around

Love me love me ...

Everyone around love them, love them

Put it in your hands

Take it take it

There's no time to cry

Happy happy

Put it in your heart

Where tomorrow shines

~ REM ~ Shiny Happy People ~

***

What comes to mind when you think of the word “reinvention”?  New beginnings or to remake or redo completely?  For me, a major transition is the perfect opportunity for reinvention.  Reinvention allows me to move totally out of what I am known for into something I have always wanted to do.  Kind of like a life makeover if you will.  

Most of us identify with “reinvention” when we are unhappy with our current situation.  It takes place for variety of reasons, some in our control, but most out of our control.  Yet, it is actually a fairly simple idea.  

Fundamentally, most of us don’t change behaviours that are difficult to change.  We change the easy, superficial ones.  But that is okay, because these can lead to drastic transformations.

Personally, I have witnessed this type of easy reboot.  Watching others wipe the slate clean in a new social content.  Adopting new behaviours that they were always capable of but couldn't in the previous social context because they felt trapped in a given social identity.  Trapped because of created expectations and beliefs.  Some believe that our social lives are governed externally, not internally ... that our change will only be successful if our friends, enemies and acquaintances buy in.   And even if they genuinely want to support us they may struggle ... because our social lives are based on the fiction that people are constants rather than changing entities.  Once this belief is disturbed, instability is perceived.  But accept that as you transform, only some will support your journey.  For the others, let them and the resentment go.  

Reinvention is a renaissance; it’s not just buying new clothes and getting a new hairstyle, it’s a re-birth as a different person and it is never easy.   And, whenever our lives modify – be it a new job, the end of a relationship, shifting base, or losing a love one – we have to alter accordingly to keep up with the changes.  The key is to take control of the situation instead of letting the situation take over.  Otherwise you may never reach your full potential and find yourself lost in the tides of time. 

For me, reinventing myself means learning about myself ~ profound growth.  What I do and how I do it is up to me, but I cannot forget to dream, to work hard to achieve my dreams, and to be open to discovering a wee bit more on my way there.

We can't go back and start a new beginning, but we can start today and make a new ending ॐ

" Wake Me Up ... "

Wake me up when the skies are clearing,

When the water is still,

'cause I will not watch the ships sail away so,

Please say you will ...

Wake me up when it's over,

Wake me up when it's done,

If it were any other day,

This wouldn't get the best of me.

~ Norah Jones ~ Wake Me Up ~

***

Wake-up calls ... we continue to experience these series of moments ... you know various events in and out of your life where maybe they didn’t immediately affect your actions, but left enough of an imprint that when combined with others, help stimulate your change.  Eventually and hopefully we connect the dots on these, trust our gut, follow our instincts and make the right decisions.  

Looking back, there were a series of events, but I just wasn’t paying attention.  I didn't connect the dots.  I needed the universe to stop me in my tracks, shake the ground to take notice.  My "this is your life calling" wake up call truly rang when I heard three words ...“You have cancer”.  It was scary, distressing and even nauseating.  Yet I quickly realised that being in that space wouldn’t get me anywhere and I’d only remove my own power if I tried to sort my life out by wallowing in negativity.  

Cancer diagnosis is always serious yet I believe waiting and becoming very aware that what I was being offered was not necessarily my best option, as I weighed up the risks from side effects against little benefits.  After I got over the shock of the diagnosis, I made the most critical decision of my life.  I did this by educating myself ... and choosing to support my immune system, rather than destroy it.

I recently read that “cancer is the body’s suicide note, and it will carry it out unless the person changes”.  Don't wait for desperation to force your hand.  Take a person inventory and if you need to, change what is dysfunctional in your life NOW.  Be honest with yourself, you will know what needs to change ............ just don’t wait for that "note" to wake you up.

Remember, It is not what life presents to us which defines who we are but who we choose to be in relationship to it.

" Asking and Believing ... "

Compliments of Daily OM, I received this email early this morning ... thought it was timely.  Also, I felt the need to share ... blessings ♥

"Asking and Believing
You may find yourself feeling stuck as you try to find your way out of unpleasant circumstances today. Rather than accepting the perception that you are trapped by your circumstances, you can change your focus by affirming that a solution is already on its way to you. You might begin by first creating a sacred space to connect with your spiritual helpers, lighting scented candles or incense, and allowing yourself to get into a serene state of mind. Then simply ask for a solution to your dilemma and visualize it materializing effortlessly in your life, even if you don't know the details right now. Simply affirm that the solution is on the way today and allow a sense of gratitude to flow over you, knowing the problem is solved. 

As we ask the universe for help and affirm that a solution is on the way, we lend incredible power to our intentions and shift our circumstances in a more positive direction. We often resist asking for help because we believe that a situation is out of our control, but it may seem out of our control simply because we believe it to be so. By choosing to be proactive in asking for a solution from the universe, and affirming with gratitude that the problem is already solved, we put forth the precise frequency of energy needed to shift our circumstances and make our new intention a physical reality. Releasing your perception of being trapped can be as simple as asking for a solution and believing it's on the way today"

"Roam ... "

"roam if you want to 
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without wings, without wheels
roam if you want to
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without anything but the love we feel"

~ The B-52s ~ Roam ~

***

Recently, I came across a great article about "the cost of Roaming" ~ The compulsive checking of messages, staying connected because we are afraid of missing out, or answering a late-night work email because it makes us feel needed.  This can be powerful distractions from knowing ourselves.  I realized that prior to my diagnosis, that was me.  I worked hard, very hard and took pride in telling others " I am sooo busy, I work 60 hour weeks, etc...".  I always seemed connected to some form of technology.  And all of my gadgets and tech toys tempted me with endless stimuli that invited my attention to go off in a million scattered directions at once.  If you need to get a hold of me, no worries, just try my hand held device, or my laptop, or my pager or my .... and it goes on.  

We can avoid the roaming charge or "the emotional or psychic cost connected with the distraction and expectation associated with that phone, wherever and whenever it might be ringing - by remaining as attuned to your inner technologies as you are to your outer ones".  It can be a challenge to maintain inner calm in a world of constant connection, yet I have had the opportunity to practice perfect this during my therapy and it has been essential for my well-being.  Wisdom practices such as yoga and meditation, have allowed me to set matters aside, cut myself loose from my ego, and experience freedom from external affirmations and influences ... like breaking free from rapid-fire tweet and measuring my popularity from facebook likes ~ yes, we don't need our smartphones to discover nirvana, what a relief!

It definitely takes discipline ... we all have the urge to just check that email or message ... but introspective wisdom practices will result in higher productivity, greater inspiration, and increased creativity.  It allows us to maintain presence and inner connection in a world designed to pull us in every waking moment outside of ourselves.  We can live with the latest technology and still have a connected inner life.  Perhaps next time let your voicemail take that call, let your email go unanswered and evaluate your relationship with technology instead of blaming it when you feel distracted.  Feel the shift as it may be the next new wave of inner technology you may just be looking for.