" Pause ... "

“ ... As the world bears down on my shoulders

I find the fear doesn't subside ... 

I don't know how I've lasted this long

I wish to pause this moment

'Cause as I cry I start to realize ... 

You give me strength

You take away my fear

There was a void in my heart that only you could fill ... “

~ Kjwan ~ Pause ~

Ever observe the reaction of people when you tell them you meditate.  Just take notice ... either they are curious, stay clear of you ... or think you may just be a flake.  

Regardless, mindfulness has changed the way I live.  

Just three years ago, I was in the middle of the intense Gerson Therapy, working hard to rebuild my body and get healthy.  My practitioner spoke to me about meditation.  I remember my response ... oh yes, I meditate already ... yup, total and complete bullshit.  I was operating from a level of conditioning  that I no longer strive for.  

A basic quietness, practiced for minutes in a day ... to help cope, deal and manage life.  At the deepest level available.  A connection within.  Listening to your higher self.  

I still get anxious, I still get scared, but I am aware of this new level of training.  Helping me become present, centered and more mindful than imagined.  

With such a glowing review, you would think that the meditation bandwagon would be full.  Not so much.  From believing that meditation isn’t for “me”, not having enough time, expectation to “clear the mind” of thoughts, reach nirvana and having to “do” meditation ... what we resist the most, we simply need the most.  

In the beginning, the idea of sitting in silence, doing nothing was terrifying.  I told my teacher that I could not observe my thoughts.  The ones that were dark and full of despair.  My teacher told me that those were the ones I would learn the most from.  Three plus years later ... it is still an enormous process.

Mindfulness isn’t for the hippies and tree hugger only.  Or for certain races or types of people.  It isn’t in your DNA or you have to be “good at it”.  It is about trying.  Our monkey minds will distract, destroy and delete information.  Yet with the use of breath work, visualizations and mantras, you notice your thoughts, without judgement and ... stillness arises.  The pauses between the thoughts become greater.  

And in that pause ... PEACE ~ CLARITY ~ CALM ... 

Forget the candles, chant, hums and incense.  

Pause and quiet the mind.

www.walkstrong.ca

" My body, my choice, my life, my death ... "

my body, my choice, my life, my death

Waking up this morning to the news of Jessica Ainscough passing away was heart breaking.  Jessica had survived a rare cancer diagnosis for 7 years.  At 22 years old, she was diagnosed with epithelioid sarcoma in her arm and shoulder.  Jess elected not to have an amputation and instead pursued the Gerson Therapy.  I was first introduced about Jess in 2011 while visiting the Gerson Clinic in Tijuana, Mexico.  I’ve been inspired by Jess through her motivational speaking, blogging and book, Make Peace With Your Plate. 

With this sad news circulating within social media, many are quick to voice their opinions on what should and should not have done.  And loads are voicing in on their view on “alternative treatment” and the quackery behind it ...

Yet what ever happened to leaving space and time for others to heal?  How important is it to share your view on what you think when a young woman has enough courage to stand her ground in the face of adversity?  Do the “I told you so” pundits feel vindicated?  Does it feel good to “predict” a young woman’s death years ago only to dig it up in a juicy article, slamming anything other than conventional treatment?  How do you know her death could have been “prevented” or she could have been “saved” if she was more “transparent” in her life?

my body, my choice, my life, my death

I find it curious when critics say that Jess’s choices were misguided, insane and selfish.  I find it curious when the same critics have NEVER walked in her shoes ... why not ask one of us who actually live with cancer how life really is?   

Jess was one of those who lived life fully despite what reality presented itself.  Death at a young age is only tragic when those who leave us have potential to do so much more.  And although Jess was only 30, the impact that this courageous woman has left in my life is beyond words.  Whether these words silence or arouse you, for me, Jessica Ainscough was an amazing health and wellness advocate.  Her courage, conviction and love for life was, and will continue to be, incredibly inspirational.  She was a powerful example of what trusting in yourself regardless of the possibilities is all about.  She lived for what she believed in ... 

my body, my choice, my life, my death

" Simple Living … "

Slacker mindstate livin on time that's borrowed

My motto's I'll stop procrastinating tomorrow

I took the sorrow from the wind chimes, 

left happiness lonesome

And strung up sarcasm to make the melody wholesome

From my lungs to my feet, I'm breathin everything I speak 

I'm convinced I'm built for better things

~ Gym Class Heroes ~ Simple Living ~

***

After 2.5 years of following the strict Gerson Therapy protocol, and 6 months of Gerson maintenance … what now ... Gerson Living and I LOVE it.

What is The Gerson Therapy?

A gentle reminder … The Gerson Therapy is a practical and highly detailed guide to the intensive nutritional treatment of cancer and other life-threatening dis-ease that many would consider to have been impossible to obtain.  Dr. Max Gerson, MD, discovered enormous success when patients followed a strict fat-free, salt-free, low-protein, essentially vegetarian dietary regimen, based on great quantities of fresh vegetable juice, supplements, and systemic detoxification.  As well, contrary to what is being communicated, 

The Gerson Therapy has NO substitutes

The Gerson Therapy requires a FULL commitment by the patient.

What is Gerson Living? 

Just ask Jessica Ainscough, a beautiful, young woman who has inspired me daily.  But personally speaking, Gerson Living is a clean, simple, and organic lifestyle.  

We know where our food comes from, we know where our products come from, we support fair trade practices, we buy only organic, we buy only natural ingredients, we support local business and farmers, we support healthy relationships, we vote with our dollar, we practice what we preach, we reduce our exposure we negative people and places, we meditate, we practice yoga, we practice gratitude, we live life rather than fear death, we give back whatever and where ever we can ...

Our bodies have to decompose is some manner ... and a great deal of the human population is suffering and dying from chronic, degenerative diseases that hardly existed a 100 years ago.  The philosophy is that when adhering to a lifestyle based on the “principles” of the Gerson Therapy, these dis-eases can be completely prevented and even healed.

So some may read this and think ... this doesn’t apply to me.  My response ... YET.  That is not to hope, wish or curse anyone a dis-ease, but the incidence of cancer use to be 1 in 50 in the 1900s ... now it is 1 in 2 in industrialized nations ... maybe based on the simple fact that our modern society refuses to live in harmony with the Laws of Nature.

Statistics show that, today, the average lifespan of a woman is 77 years of age while it is 72 for a male. With that in mind, the typical person, after retiring, will enjoy less than 10 years of life before they leave this earth and they likely will not enjoy those ten years at all as those ten years will be spent consuming mass amounts of unnecessary pharmaceutical drugs and undergoing numerous surgeries to combat whatever degenerative disease ultimately leads to their unnecessary, early death.

We’ve heard the saying ... “we all have to die of something sometime” ... but I feel we could re-focus on quality of life and longevity instead.  YES, this is possible.  See me, following the principles of the Gerson Therapy helped me not only clean up my body ... but clean up my life.  Regardless of age, this therapy provides you a lifestyle of prevention and can promise the highest quality of life far beyond that of ones peers.

Reflecting back on the day we started Gerson (March 7, 2011), I thought that I was about to embark on something that would “save” my life.  Little did I realize that this could be “the” catalyst of a life far greater than I could ever imagine.  

I am grateful for the amazing powers of healing with nutrition and detoxification and realize that this kind of therapy is not a compliment, but a choice for proper healing and health maintenance.  And I am reminded by my meditation teacher, guru and guide ... life does not require our approval, suggestions or even participation ... life flows with ease where miracles occur every single day ... 

Gerson Living and Loving it … 

I'm thankful for my struggle because without it 

I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength ॐ

www.walkstrong.ca

" On A Roll … "

“I’m waking up, up on the floor, still looking perfect

I’m walking out, out through the door, into the circus

I jump the train, I never pay ‘cus I’m a rock star

You go with me, there will be drink in a tea ah ...

On a roll again

Rock n roll again

On a roll again

Rock n roll again

Yea yea yea”

~ Icona Pop ~ On A Roll ~

***

You’re “on a roll” is what my husband said, followed with a high five.  Whoop!  Very exciting since he is referring to my handy work in the kitchen ... yes, quite a novelty for moi.

You see, it is a pretty big deal with close to the last 3 years working solely within the Gerson diet.  Now, being on maintenance has its perks, but it wasn’t this simple when I first started.  Once I was provided the “a-okay” to start introducing foods back into my diet, I ... didn’t know what to do.  I had the fear of, but if I eat that, according to the therapy, this will happen.  How can this be???  How can I what-if scenarios regarding food??  

I love food, so what am I so fearful to eat ...

With our human “expectations” of the bad, awful and ugly also comes a choice.  The choice to have no expectation, to take a chance, to live a little and see what happens.  Some may think a bit casual or foolish when it comes to health, but ironically it is exactly the opposite. 

There are so so many blessings that have come from then to now.  And yes, I choose to follow a clean, organic, vegetarian diet AND I allow myself to ENJOY LIFE.  And yes it is actually possible!  

And so, my handy work in the kitchen has resulted in super cool food combinations that have given me back the LOVE OF FOOD ... which I always knew I had within, but put on the shelf for a wee bit ... maybe even some future recipe posts ;)

www.walkstrong.ca

" How Far … "

There's a boat, I could sail away

There's the sky, I could catch a plane

There's a train, there's the tracks

I could leave and I could choose to not come back

Oh, never come back

There's a chance I could change my mind

But I won't, not 'till you decide

What you want, what you need

Do you even care if I stay or leave

Oh, what's it gonna be

And it's up to you to say ...

And it's up to you to say how far ...

~ Martina McBride ~ How Far ~

***

There are times when you need to reflect back on your journey and take a look at how far you’ve come.  We get caught up in our day to day living that we can lose perspective of what our life use to be like.  

Reflecting back ... three years ago today, 

we had our first day at the Gerson Clinic in Tijuana, Mexico.

Our worlds focus so much on what we lack .. wealth, vanity, image or love, that we get caught in the need to have, be, or do more before thinking that it is good enough at this moment, now.  Reflection allows you to celebrate your progress, however you measure, big or small ...

Looking back, I am amazed as to how this chapter of my life started and where it has lead me today.  I feel a huge sense of accomplishment that I am here, still.  This journey has been tough, adjusting to this new life ... and many times I took rest with my family and friends who gave me comfort and assured me that my journey was still worthwhile ... immense gratitude.

Finding blessing, discovering the gifts, appreciating what is, knowing all is well ... sometimes life’s pivotal moments help you identify your true calling, your true passion.  Life is funny that way, it can through you off course so that you get back on course.  And then the time comes when you are living your ideal life even in an un-ideal circumstances.  

You manage, you cope, you adapt, you live ... Yet one of the best pieces of advice I received was when you fail to acknowledge how far you’ve come, it robs you of a lot of joy and price ... so just because I may not have figured it all out, I still come a long way from.  

It is about finding a balance for striving for your goals but also celebrating your mini-victories along the way ... As you go about your day, try to notice when you shift towards your goals, however small the step may be ... and then honour it in some way.  And although our lives are a constant work in progress, take the time to bask in everything you have achieved thus far ... because the best motivation is to cherish & celebrate each step along the way.

Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people

 * Albert Einstein *

" Eat it ... "

Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate

Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate

You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate

So eat it ...

Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

If it's gettin' cold, reheat it

Have a big dinner, have a light snack

If you don't like it, you can't send it back

Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it ...

Don't you make me repeat it (oh no)

Have a banana, have a whole bunch

It doesn't matter what you had for lunch

Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it ...

~ Weird Al Yankovic ~ Eat It ~

***

I haven’t written recently about food and nutrition but yet another conversation got me thinking that there are quite a few misconceptions out there.  First of all, YES I eat food, and YES I have been eating food since starting the Gerson Therapy ... it is not just juicing, it is REAL food.  I'll leave it at that as those that what to know about this "nutritional therapy" there are many links on my blog site.

So, from that note, we have all heard the saying “you are what you eat” but have you really considered what that really means?  My understanding is we are actually what we consume, digest, absorb and transfer to our cells.  How our cells function determines life.  

For optimal health, body composition and performance, our cells must function properly.  And I believe the key is nutrition because nutritional deficiencies or excess disrupt the balance of this function and therefore decrease our health.

The food that we eat is digested and absorbed into the bloodstream where nutrients are delivered to our cells and form tissues, organs and organ systems ... from eating ~ digestion ~ cell function ... this is metabolism.

And how quickly we eat is a factor as well.  Remember when we were growing up and our Mom’s said “chew your food”.   Well guess what, she was right! because the more we chew our food, the less work we leave for the rest of our digestive organs ... stomach, pancreas, liver, gallbladder and intestines.

Since saliva produces the enzyme amlase, which begins to digest carbohydrates, digestion actually starts in our mouth.  So food must be mixed and chewed well to release its full potential of nutritional value.  

The truth is that you can be eating the most nutritious foods but if you are not absorbing the nutrients, they are of very little value.  The key is to be as relaxed as possible when we’re eating because a relaxed mind equals a relaxed digestive system.  

Try to become a “conscience eater” by focusing on the real food on your plate, what it tastes like, by chewing each and every bite.  And what is REAL food to me?

• comes from the ground
• rarely advertised on TV (fast food versus carrots)
• ingredients can be pronounced
• no dyes, artificial additives, herbicides, pesticides or GMO
• wholesome and nourishing
• simple, pure and unchanged by man

So when you decide on your next meal, give a thought to what you are willing to put into your body and if it will do you good or harm ... because as Jim Roth said ... 

“take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live”.

" Another Year Has Gone By ... "

I know you can still remember
Things we said right from the start
When we said that this could be special
I'm keeping those words deep down in my heart

Another year has gone by
And I'm still the one by your side
After everything that's gone by
There's still no one saying goodbye
Though another year has gone by

~ Celine Dion ~ Another Year Has Gone By ~
***

Another year has gone by and I can’t help but wonder how the heck did I get this far?Did I think I would make it, no.  But here I am.  Year two of GT.

I guess I could write about the pounds of carrots and greens we juice, or the pounds of potatoes we eat, or the number of coffee enemas, or ... but instead, I think I’d rather write about who I am today.

Looking back at two years ago, I don’t recognize that person anymore.  Yes, on the outside, I look a bit different.  But what is so cool is on the inside, I feel like a whole other person.  Hopefully kinder and more loving than before.  Hopefully a better me with what I choose now ...

if you constantly compete with others, you become bitter...

but if you constantly compete with yourself, you become better ॐ

For me ... 
I choose to take responsibility of my life.  If I want change, it is up to me to do it and no one else.  I stopped blaming other people and external conditions.  I choose to make room for growth as well, and this starts in my mind.  I have to believe in myself that I can grow and make the changes I want ... aiming to be the best that I can.  I choose to have realistic expectations, because it takes time.  

I choose to extract lessons from my experience.  Trying to keep my eyes open and grab every possible learning opportunity from challenging moments.  I choose to write about my journey to share with others who may find themselves in similar state.  I choose to build consistent habits such as prayer, meditation, playing music, reading and yoga to help my growth.  I choose to feed my mind with daily uplifting thoughts because my input determines my output.  I choose to have people in my world that are provide positivity, unconditional love, encourage me, act as a source of energy and inspire me.

Becoming a better person is a real process, something that doesn’t happen overnight.  What I realize is that it is important to grow every day, because growth provides progress ... so I choose to be a work in progress ... and yes, Happy 2nd Birthday to me !

" Reflect ... "

There are pivotal moments in our lives that we will never forget. They define us.  Approaching two years on my current therapy programme, I decided to reflect back as to where I was and how far I have come ...

At the age of 41, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The treatment plan: mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation. Excuse me? Could you repeat that please? My thoughts ... you must be mistaken, these are two wee lumps. How could this be happening ... cancer happens, but it doesn’t happen to me?

While I awaited the ‘results’ of my biopsy, I consulted Dr Google. I read the testimonials and stories of how others had cured themselves of cancer naturally. I also read horror stories of heartless doctors who’d hexed their patients with a dismal prognosis. I was fortunate to be surrounded by compassion. My doctor told me, “whatever you do, do it quickly”.

With those words ringing in my head, I made the decision to shift from a place of fear and uncertainty to a place of health and happiness. I knew the statistics surrounding conventional therapy and I realized that if I wanted a fighting chance, I had to help my body to heal. I made the decision to embark on the Gerson Therapy.

The Gerson Therapy is a two year minimum program of intense detoxification and nutritional super-charging of our bodies’ immune system. By switching to an organic, vegan diet, raw juices, coffee enemas and natural supplements, our bodies become equipped to heal themselves.

With my treatment path decided, I hoped and prayed to be accepted into the Gerson authorized clinic in Tijuana. I diligently provided the necessary paperwork and anxiously awaited to hear if I was in. It reminded me of when I was waiting to hear if I had been accepted into engineering school 20 years ago. I was told that there may be a waiting list, as many were interested. Then the call came. I was accepted into the clinic immediately, with the recommendation of three weeks. The reason for this: the doctors wanted to administer a laetrile (B17) IV for three weeks, the standard for those with my type of cancer.

Instead of relief, I hesitated. This was it. Did I really want to dedicate a minimum of two years of my life to this? Honestly speaking, I wanted to bury my head in the sand. Thankfully, my husband took charge and confirmed treatment, commencing on March 7, 2011.

There is not a direct flight from our home in Calgary, Canada to Tijuana and my husband had never been to San Diego, our connection point to Tijuana, so we decided to make a little vacation prior to the program. We were like tourists, enjoying the sites, the foods and each other’s company. My ‘last supper’ was an exquisite Mexican meal in Old Town, and I haven’t eaten anything outside of the Gerson menu since.

Waiting for the shuttle the next morning, I felt anxious. My stomach cried for food as I could not have breakfast, a preparation for giving blood and urine samples. Fear and doubt joined my anxiety and crowded out my high hopes ... what am I doing? Is this the right thing? What if I am wrong? What if I can’t do this? I comforted myself by thinking that this was just a ‘blip’ on the long path of life ... 

READ MORE: 

http://www.positivehealth.com/article/cancer/life-with-intense-gerson-nutritional-therapy-programme

" Too Intense ... "

Butterflies in the sky

I feel just like that

Thirty five thousand feet

I feel just like that

I can't catch my breath

It's too intense, tense

I need just a minute

Give me just a minute

It's out of control

This is out of control

Got me thinkin' 'bout the future

I feel just like that

Wanna trust, lose control

I feel just like that ...

~ Vivian Green ~ Too Intense ~

***

Today I had a wonderful opportunity to get caught up with one of my Gerson buddies, C.  We met two years ago and instantly I felt a connection, a bond.  And not just because we both are managing our conditions, but because we are on the same page.

Today, we compared notes on the physical side effects of our cancers ... yada yada, the aches, pains and fears ... but then we got to the interesting part ... our spirits.  And it was what C said to me today that left me in awe.  He said that regardless of the outcome, it’s been a great ride.  He was thankful for the opportunity to learn with such great intensity, as it wouldn’t have happened if he was not dealing with cancer.  How cool is that eh?  A wonderful way to look at an undeniable adverse situation.  

Now I often write about looking at the “bright side” despite the odds, but I too have been struggling with keeping my chin up.  You see, just when you think you are working through it, you hear about another friend’s progression of cancer.  That was this week, too intense.  And you can’t help to wonder if this is the inevitable path you will take.  It is overwhelming and honestly it just plain SUCKS.  

So venturing down the path that life isn’t fair, you get a tada! ... a silver lining.  C was my silver lining today.  A conversation containing a message that I needed.  He spoke with such conviction as to his belief in the therapy we are both still on (closing in on two years for the both of us).  And instead becoming bogged down with the “worsening of your condition” prognosis, C was grateful for the last two years to learn about how we can live healthier and learn about what our bodies can and cannot heal.

Along the same thoughts, one of my practitioners talks to me often about the “gift” I have been given to change my life.  To become the person I am to be, which was far from what I was.  “Listen to your inner guidance and follow you path”.  

And what if the path leads to an adverse consequence?  Well, if you believe that everything is happening to serve a higher purpose and that God is never wrong, then what is occurring is always right.  Yes a very very hard pill to swallow (ha no pun intended ...), yet once we un-grasp, release and let go, we truly surrender to  the natural flow of life.  

So I get it when others get tired because now to me it is not giving up, it is having the strength to accept.  For me, this is important as approaching another round of tests soon, I will be put to the test.  My beliefs will be “officially” challenged, my choices will be discredited, great fear will once again be projected and decisions may have be made.

But as C said, be thankful for the ride because it has truly been quite a wild one!!  So today I send extra special love and light to C for his kindness, his love and most important his wisdom ... you truly are a precious gem my friend.

"Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold" 

M. Setter

" Seeing things ... "

A hundred years will never ease

Hearing things I won't believe

I saw it with my own two eyes ...

I used to dream

Of better days that never came

Sorry ain't nothin' to me ...

So please I've done my time ...

'Cause I'm seeing things for the first time

I"m seeing things for the first time

Oh I'm seeing things for the first time

Yeah, seeing things for the first time

In my life, in my life ...

Black Crowes ~ Seeing Things ~

***

doctor: “well, this is a perfect check-up ... I don’t say it often but your eyesight has actually gotten better”

me: “oh wow, that’s great! ... do you think it might be all the carrots I juice?”

doctor: “no, no ... that would only help with your eye health, but not with vision”

me: “ oh okay ... well I guess it can’t hurt right?”

doctor: “sure all those vegetables are probably a good thing”

***

Yes, this is actually a real conversation.  One I had last week with my eye doctor during my annual check-up.  Mixed emotions as I was relieved to hear that all was good, yet disappointed that he didn’t feel my current lifestyle & diet had anything to do with it.  Just once, wouldn’t it be nice to have a believer ... open to the possibility that maybe just maybe it could play a part good health?

Now that is not to say that I haven’t met wonderful, supportive health practitioners on my current health journey ... I just remember growing up and hearing “eat your carrots, they are good for your eyes”.  So you’d think juicing 50lbs a week “can’t hurt”?

Let’s see, perhaps a recap of the benefits carrots and juicing them ...

• juicing carrots allows you to take in more vegetables at one time than you would by eating raw or cooked vegetables
• carrots have two obvious nutrients vitamin A and beta carotene
• beta-carotene is also a major antioxidant
• vitamin A and beta-carotene help maintain vision along with the carrots' fair share of lutein 
• beta-carotene also maintains epithelial tissue, the tissue surrounding internal organs ... (epithelial tissues are susceptible to cancerous growths)
• carrots are also rich in poly-acetylene anti-oxidant falcarinol
• research at the University of Newcastle has shown carrot falcarinol destroys pre-cancerous cells in tumors
• carrots do help keep cancer away
• carrots are also rich in B vitamins and folate
• folate is the natural and safe provider of folic acid
• carrots help restore the liver - our body’s master cleanser
• carrot juice has been called the "golden juice of healing"

***

Again ...

doctor: “no, no ... that would only help with your eye health, but not with vision”

me: “ oh okay ... well I guess it can’t hurt right?”

***

Thankfully, over the weekend I shared this story at a neighbours gathering with a friend who is a dietitian.  She seemed about as confused as I did.  She understands the benefits of good nutrition.  I appreciated her openness to this and my health journey.  Not many are and that is okay.  I have learned to pick and choose who to share with ... no need to open yourself up to negativity and fear as I take care of that on my own during my dark times.  And who knows, maybe it was a fluke check-up ... but I heard of another lady, upon successfully completing Gerson, with improved vision.

Nonetheless, it was nice to hear the word “perfect”, as I realized how many conversations are played over and over again in my mind, and how they affect me subconsciously.  What perfection is doesn’t really matter ... just knowing that this path is heading in a positive direction is the key.