" Drive My Soul ... "

When you are gone

Will I lose control? 

You are the only road I know

You show me where to go

Who will drive my soul? 

You make the street lights reappear

I feel bright when you stand near

I know what I am when you are here

My place becomes so clear

Will I lose control? 

You're the only road that I know

You show me where to go

Who will drive my soul? 

Drive my soul

~ Lights ~ Drive My Soul ~ 

***

I strongly believe in Divine Guidance and I know it can come as a song on the radio, a conversation with a stranger, an article I have read, voices in my dreams or inspired ideas.  Simply a message.  But what is not so simple is knowing if it is truly a message from the Divine.

Over the years, I have awareness in seeing it as a natural part of my daily life ... I recognize, trust and act on this guidance.  Yet my ego does like to mess me up time to time and settle me in a place of confusion.  

Thankfully there is a great deal of resources around me as well as online.  Doreen Virtue, Ph.D speaks clearly in her book called Divine Guidance about this very thing.  Distinguishing true guidance from false guidance and how to more fully open up your channels to receive Divine messages.

She talks about the difference between true higher guidance and false lower/ego guidance.  Here are a few to consider:

• True Guidance is supportive and motivational
• False Guidance is fearful and inspires doubt

• True Guidance is consistent
• False Guidance switches impulsively

• True Guidance refers to your life purpose or mission
• False Guidance refers to competition with others

• True Guidance wants joy in the present
• False Guidance wants to delay happiness for the future

• True Guidance is strong and powerful
• False Guidance is insidious and sneaky

• True Guidance is familiar
• False Guidance is out-of-sync with your lifestyle

• True Guidance speaks in second person
• False Guidance uses the word “I” constantly 

• True Guidance empowers you
• False Guidance weakens you

• True Guidance comes suddenly and completely in response to prayer/meditation
• False Guidance comes gradually in response to worry

• True Guidance never puts you above or below others
• False Guidance says you are better or worse than others

Ultimately knowing that Divine Guidance is available to us at all times is comforting ... these messages are always loving, uplifting and peaceful.  Our willingness to receive and be open to hearing in a way that we can understand is the key.

I have been told to have the intention to receive guidance that is for my highest and greatest good and trusting that the answers will come.  And of course be grateful for the Divine assistance.  Regardless, you have to just believe intuitively what is right for you ... 

" Humble Me ... "

 " What do you say
When it's all gone away
Baby I didn't mean to hurt you
The truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to
You humble me lord
Humble me lord
I'm on my knees empty "

~ Norah Jones ~ Humble Me ~

***

Yesterday I had an opportunity to visit a girlfriend of mine that is to me, my hero.  Her personal story of courage, strength and determination leave me in awe every time we connect.  Besides being a medical miracle, she was also one of the first people I shared my diagnosis with as I knew she would get it.  She has been one of my angels, guiding and supporting me during my journey this year.  I feel so blessed to have her in my life ... thanks Mary ♥

We had a good talk about humbleness and humility.  Mainly because these negative energies came up for me this year ... along with resentment and anger, and I wasn’t proud of it.  And I was trying to understand why.  Knowing that these were “stuck” and had to surface first and then I could deal with it.  I realized my ideas around immortality and invincibility were shattered when faced with an "incurable" dis-ease as stated by the medical profession.  I realized that anything can happen ... and it did.  I was immediately humbled.  I realized that I had to make the choice if I was going to let the cancer have power, have control.  Never ... as I have said before ... life goes on.  For some, smoother than others.  For some, no cares in the world, life is easy ... at least that was my perception.  I was trying to understand why I was angry watching some coast while I struggle.  Enter resentment and anger.  And I think their lack of gratitude, lack of humbleness were the triggers.  Because for me, I view life completely different.  I really try to appreciate all that life has to offer, initially from a place of fear as I thought that I wouldn’t be around much longer.  Now that I have a fighting chance, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude resonates with me.  There are endless outcomes, endless possibilities and we have very little control as to what happens ... just what we do with it.

So back to humbleness or maybe even humility ... question: when you visualize someone that is humble do you see them as meek, hunched over and barely noticeable?  Be honest.  The funny thing is that humility is not an inferiority complex or lack of self-esteem.  Humility means “living with the reality that nothing matters except doing the right thing.”  

The humble person is totally dedicated to the pursuit of truth.  And because his self-esteem is not dependent on approval from others, his choice may be the right, not popular one.  The arrogant person is concerned with his own ego, pride, money and power.  Preoccupied with what others think of him.  So even though his appearance is friendly and charming, he is really manipulating things to suit his selfish needs.  

Think of it this way ... humility thinks “what’s greater than me counts” and arrogance thinks “I’m all that counts.”  And the most humble person of all can also be charismatic.  Because humility is freedom ... concern about truth, living by it and being free to express yourself in the most authentic way.  A quiet confidence, not rattled by critics, earning genuine respect.  A humble person knows his place and helps others, as there is no threat to his ego.

So start by doing some soul searching.  Check in with your life goals ... is it truly meaningful or just some abstract notion.  Are you losing clarity on what is ultimiately important?  Doing the right thing may be difficult, because we don’t always perceive it as providing a great source of pleasure.  Material pleasures are necessary and nice, but they don’t compare to the higher pleasures of life and meaning.  True charisma comes when we disengage ourselves from the need for outside approval ... very powerful.  

Humility can open us up to wisdom because we don’t get stuck in our own subjective reality.  Humbleness can generate truth, objectivity, and pleasure.  Because until you know what you are willing to die for, you have not yet begun to live.

" Feed Your Ego ... "

"Love's only here for a while
Make up your mind
This is the last time
Oh the last time
I feed your ego
I'm not feeding your ego "

~ Feed Your Ego ~ Angel Taylor

***

Feeding your ego in illness.  How do we do it?  If we complain, feel self-pity, or resent being ill, our ego becomes stronger.  And when we make the illness a part of our identity, then we feed our ego in illness ... "I am a sufferer of such and such a dis-ease".  Oh, well thank-you for clearing that up and letting us know who you really are.

We all know someone in our lives that has a big ego and lives a grand life ... and then suddenly they become gentle, kind and humble when they are ill.  They gain insight, they access their inner truth and speak words of wisdom ... until they get better and with the return of their energy, so does their ego.  Did they get the lesson or??

Regardless, our ego burns up considerable amounts of energy when we constantly feed it instead of managing it.  When we are ill, our energy level can be quite low.  We use most of our energy for the healing of the body, so there is considerable less for egoic thinking and emotions.  Yet in some cases, the ego retains the energy it needs for its own purposes ... and these people who experience a strengthening of the ego in illness take much longer to recover.  And unfortunately, some never do .. the illness becomes chronic and a permanent part of their false sense of self.

My experience with illness has been humbling.  Those moments I have in my journey when I don't feel like I have the energy to get back up, I mange to do so.  I have had to find the energy, courage and strength to get back up.  I look for empathy and not sympathy.  I reaffirm my intention to practice loving, kindness and compassion.  I remind myself each day to work at letting go of ego clinging, selfishness, controlling behaviour, negative thoughts, possessiveness, aggression, resentment and confusion.  I resolve each day to find one small way that I can change a frozen behaviour pattern and try to do so.  

By continuing to use my awareness to genuinely understand my ill patterns and behaviours, I have a fair chance to release them by assessing how fruitful they actually are.  I stop feeding them and as a result take the ego out of illness.

"Roam ... "

"roam if you want to 
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without wings, without wheels
roam if you want to
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without anything but the love we feel"

~ The B-52s ~ Roam ~

***

Recently, I came across a great article about "the cost of Roaming" ~ The compulsive checking of messages, staying connected because we are afraid of missing out, or answering a late-night work email because it makes us feel needed.  This can be powerful distractions from knowing ourselves.  I realized that prior to my diagnosis, that was me.  I worked hard, very hard and took pride in telling others " I am sooo busy, I work 60 hour weeks, etc...".  I always seemed connected to some form of technology.  And all of my gadgets and tech toys tempted me with endless stimuli that invited my attention to go off in a million scattered directions at once.  If you need to get a hold of me, no worries, just try my hand held device, or my laptop, or my pager or my .... and it goes on.  

We can avoid the roaming charge or "the emotional or psychic cost connected with the distraction and expectation associated with that phone, wherever and whenever it might be ringing - by remaining as attuned to your inner technologies as you are to your outer ones".  It can be a challenge to maintain inner calm in a world of constant connection, yet I have had the opportunity to practice perfect this during my therapy and it has been essential for my well-being.  Wisdom practices such as yoga and meditation, have allowed me to set matters aside, cut myself loose from my ego, and experience freedom from external affirmations and influences ... like breaking free from rapid-fire tweet and measuring my popularity from facebook likes ~ yes, we don't need our smartphones to discover nirvana, what a relief!

It definitely takes discipline ... we all have the urge to just check that email or message ... but introspective wisdom practices will result in higher productivity, greater inspiration, and increased creativity.  It allows us to maintain presence and inner connection in a world designed to pull us in every waking moment outside of ourselves.  We can live with the latest technology and still have a connected inner life.  Perhaps next time let your voicemail take that call, let your email go unanswered and evaluate your relationship with technology instead of blaming it when you feel distracted.  Feel the shift as it may be the next new wave of inner technology you may just be looking for.

"Ego ..."

"It's too big 
It's too wide
It's too strong
It won't fit
It's too much
It's too tough 

Such a huge ego"

~ Beyonce ~ Ego ~ 

***

Development of a healthy ego starts from understanding emotions and dealing with them effectively because it is hard to maintain your confidence when you feel as though your emotions are getting the better of you.  So how we manage those emotions can make a critical difference physically and mentally on your well-being.  The emotions themselves are neutral ... it's the way we perceive them in their proper context so necessary information can be understood.  We understand what can be done to make a situation better because even lower energy emotions can promote healing.

It takes self-confidence to blaze your own path and assume all the risks and responsibility that comes with going it alone as mentioned in my last blog.  A healthy ego is an advantage when dealing with challenges both in the business and personal world.  But there is a fine line, or a delicate balance if tipped leading to too much ego which can then become a bit of a liability.  It is important to put yourself first, but at the expense of others?  We can debate on whether in the long run this would limit everyone's growth, even your own.


Along those lines, can someone else ego perhaps even narcissism stunt your emotional growth?  How is it possible that someone else fascination with themselves have such a profound effect on you?  Well, it is just not possible.  The reality is that maybe what you see in others as egotistical or narcissism is really your own feelings of inadequacy.  Maybe you are uncomfortable with someone else success because it is a reminder to you that you haven't reached that level yet of satisfaction.  Maybe, you are projecting these feelings instead of dealing with them head on.


Understanding that the ego is part of us that identifies with our body and the personality of ourself.  When the ego criticizes other people, the ego feels an equal measure of guilt when the roles are reversed.  To avoid feelings of inadequacy, we should not seek to just avoid doing the wrong thing, we should also seek to go beyond our ego ... this will enable us to detach from feelings of pride and humiliation.  This will help us to enjoy life, stop living up to the high expectations of the ego.

"If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego

and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the

need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge.

Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time."

 ~ Deepak Chopra